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59. Xavier

Author: J. Tarr
last update Last Updated: 2025-03-10 23:46:40

Jacob’s hands plant on either side of my head, caging me against the wood, his body so close that my own instincts go haywire. One hand presses flat against the wood beside my head, the other still gripping my wrist, keeping me in place, keeping me right there as he leans in close.

Too close.

I suck in a sharp breath, pulse hammering, but I don’t move. Because I can’t. Because this is the closest I’ve ever been to an Alpha and felt it.

And gods help me, I feel it.

“How do you know?”

The question yanks me out of my daze, my breath stuttering. “What?”

His jaw clenches, his eyes searching my face like he’s looking for the answer before I can give it. “How do you know, Xavier?”

I swallow hard, my pulse roaring in my ears. “I—”

He leans in more, and I press back against the door like that’ll do anything to get away from the heat of him, the sheer weight of his presence. His scent is different up close, still masked, still wrong, but I can feel what’s beneath it now, the strength of it humm
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  • Knot My Alpha   60. Xavier

    It happens so fast I barely register it, the sharp shift, the pure Alpha scent that rolls off him so thick it makes my knees feel weak. The red of his irises are glowing, wild; his entire body going rigid as he stares at me like I just triggered something he wasn’t ready for.I barely choke out a breath. “Jacob—”He blinks, and just like that, it’s gone. His hands jerk back, his body snapping away from mine like he’s been burned. His breath is uneven, his jaw clenched tight like he’s fighting something.“You need to get away from me.”I should, but I can’t.Not when Jacob is still so close, his chest rising and falling with slow, controlled breaths, his fingers twitching like he’s restraining himself from doing something worse. Not when I can still feel the phantom burn of his knuckles against my throat, not when my body is still reacting, not when I can feel my scent pressing at the edges of my inhibitors, desperate to slip through.Not when his eyes had gone crimson the second he t

    Last Updated : 2025-03-10
  • Knot My Alpha   61. Jacob

    I’m pacing.Back and forth, back and forth, muscles coiled so tight I feel like I might snap. My jaw is locked, my fingers running through my hair again and again, my breathing wrong—uneven, too shallow, not enough to quiet the fucking instincts roaring inside me.Because he’s here.He’s in my bed.Passed out, curled up against my pillows, body lax, completely fucking vulnerable in a way that makes something inside me ache, something I don’t want to name.I hadn’t known what else to do. I couldn’t leave him like that—in the hallway, confused, begging me for something he didn’t even understand. His scent had been so close to breaking free, his body reacting in ways he’d never experienced before, and it was my fault.So I brought him here. I laid him down on my bed, making sure he was comfortable, making sure he was safe before stepping back, needing space, needing air, needing to figure out what the fuck I just did.Because I scented him.I forced his body to calm, to stop spiraling, t

    Last Updated : 2025-03-11
  • Knot My Alpha   62. Xavier

    “Because you’re my mate.”The words slam into me like a physical blow, knocking the breath from my lungs, making my entire body go still.No.That—that isn’t possible.Mates don’t exist. They’re a fantasy, a relic of old stories, something people want to believe in but know better than to trust. Bonds happen, sure, but they’re conditioned, nurtured, created—not destined.But I feel it.I felt it the moment Jacob touched me, the moment his voice dropped into that Alpha tone, the moment he scented me and my body gave in before my mind could catch up.It makes no fucking sense.I can’t breathe properly. My pulse is all over the place, my skin feels wrong, too hot, too tight, like I’m on the verge of something I don’t understand. My stomach clenches, my fingers digging into the sheets beneath me as I stare at him, my mind racing in a thousand different directions at once.“No,” I whisper, but it’s weak. It’s wrong.Jacob doesn’t argue. He just watches me, his face unreadable, his body loo

    Last Updated : 2025-03-12
  • Knot My Alpha   63. Jacob

    Xavier’s words sit heavy in my chest, a weight I don’t know what to do with.I lean back slightly, running a hand down my face as I process everything he just told me. The trials, the forced resistance, the way his handlers—his so-called parents—pumped him full of inhibitors and threw him into situations designed to break his instincts before they ever had a chance to settle.Why?That’s the part I don’t get.Omegas are rare, but training one to resist an Alpha’s pull is almost unheard of. Why would they do that to him? Why would they work so hard to strip away the one thing that makes him an Omega?I study him carefully. He’s tense, arms wrapped around himself, curls falling into his face as he stares at a fixed point on my blanket, like if he focuses hard enough, he can will himself away from this conversation.He’s still shaking slightly, breath coming too fast, body still processing what I am to him, even if his mind refuses to accept it.“You ever ask them why?”Xavier blinks, hi

    Last Updated : 2025-03-13
  • Knot My Alpha   64. Jacob

    I push off my chair so fast it scrapes against the floor, my pulse roaring in my ears, my hands already pulling my phone from my pocket before I can fully process the storm of emotions tearing through my chest. My fingers are tight around the device, muscles tense, breath controlled but not calm—because calm is the last fucking thing I feel right now.Across from me, Xavier is spiraling.I can see it in the way his fingers clench at my blanket, knuckles white, his shoulders curling in on themselves, his breath coming too fast, too shallow. His curls hang over his face, shielding his expression from me, but I don’t need to see his eyes to know.He’s unraveling.Everything he’s believed, everything he’s trusted, has just been ripped out from under him.And they did it.His own parents.My jaw tightens as I press the call button, bringing the phone to my ear, pacing across the room as I wait for the line to connect. I don’t know what I expect—maybe for it to ring a few times, maybe for m

    Last Updated : 2025-03-14
  • Knot My Alpha   65. Xavier

    I move because Jacob moves.That’s it.There’s no conscious thought behind my actions, no real understanding of what’s happening, just a dull awareness that if I stop, if I think, if I let myself feel any of this, I will break into pieces that I don’t know how to put back together.So I go through the motions.Jacob grips my wrist and pulls me to my feet, his hold firm but not rough, guiding me through the door, through the quiet halls of the Academy, through corridors I suddenly realize I may never see again. The thought should scare me, but it doesn’t. Nothing does. Because there is nothing left inside of me right now except for this hollow, gaping space where certainty used to be.I don’t even know if anyone grabbed my belongings. I don’t ask. I don’t care.I let Jacob lead me outside, and suddenly there are people I don’t know, dark suits and sharp voices, guiding us toward sleek black SUVs lined up at the edge of the Academy grounds. I should hesitate, should ask questions, shoul

    Last Updated : 2025-03-15
  • Knot My Alpha   66. Xavier

    I sink into him, letting the warmth of his body surround me, letting his scent fill every inch of my lungs. It’s intoxicating, deep and rich—sandalwood, vanilla, and the faint, smoky heat of burning wood. It wraps around me, seeps into my skin, presses into the hollow parts of me that have been empty for too long. My arms slip around his waist, my fingers gripping at the fabric of his shirt like if I let go, he’ll disappear, and I can’t—I won’t.Jacob’s chest vibrates with a low, constant purr, the sound settling inside me, winding through my bones, easing every sharp edge of my panic, my fear, my confusion. It grounds me. Makes me feel safe. Like I belong here, in his arms, pressed against him, inhaling his scent like it’s the only thing keeping me tethered to reality.His hand moves slowly, stroking through my hair, his fingers threading through my curls in a steady, soothing rhythm. The touch sends a shiver down my spine, not because I fear it, but because I need it.Then, finally,

    Last Updated : 2025-03-16
  • Knot My Alpha   67. Xavier

    My stomach clenches. I should be embarrassed. I should feel shame for how easily I fall apart under his hands, but I don’t, because this is Jacob. My Alpha.I nod, my fingers digging into his shoulders. “Yes.”Jacob doesn’t hesitate. One second, I’m pressed against him, tangled in his heat, and the next, he stands, holding me like I weigh nothing; his grip secure as he strides toward the bedroom in the jet without a single word.I don’t think I breathe the entire way there.He kicks the door open, stepping inside with that same controlled, dominant energy that makes my head spin. The scent of him—of us—fills the room, thick and heady, and my skin burns from the sheer weight of it.Jacob lowers me onto the bed, his body following mine before I can think to move. His knee presses between my thighs, keeping them parted, keeping me open for him as his hands slide down, gripping my hips, keeping me still.“Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice heavy with want. “You’re already shaking for me.

    Last Updated : 2025-03-16

Latest chapter

  • Knot My Alpha   67. Xavier

    My stomach clenches. I should be embarrassed. I should feel shame for how easily I fall apart under his hands, but I don’t, because this is Jacob. My Alpha.I nod, my fingers digging into his shoulders. “Yes.”Jacob doesn’t hesitate. One second, I’m pressed against him, tangled in his heat, and the next, he stands, holding me like I weigh nothing; his grip secure as he strides toward the bedroom in the jet without a single word.I don’t think I breathe the entire way there.He kicks the door open, stepping inside with that same controlled, dominant energy that makes my head spin. The scent of him—of us—fills the room, thick and heady, and my skin burns from the sheer weight of it.Jacob lowers me onto the bed, his body following mine before I can think to move. His knee presses between my thighs, keeping them parted, keeping me open for him as his hands slide down, gripping my hips, keeping me still.“Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice heavy with want. “You’re already shaking for me.

  • Knot My Alpha   66. Xavier

    I sink into him, letting the warmth of his body surround me, letting his scent fill every inch of my lungs. It’s intoxicating, deep and rich—sandalwood, vanilla, and the faint, smoky heat of burning wood. It wraps around me, seeps into my skin, presses into the hollow parts of me that have been empty for too long. My arms slip around his waist, my fingers gripping at the fabric of his shirt like if I let go, he’ll disappear, and I can’t—I won’t.Jacob’s chest vibrates with a low, constant purr, the sound settling inside me, winding through my bones, easing every sharp edge of my panic, my fear, my confusion. It grounds me. Makes me feel safe. Like I belong here, in his arms, pressed against him, inhaling his scent like it’s the only thing keeping me tethered to reality.His hand moves slowly, stroking through my hair, his fingers threading through my curls in a steady, soothing rhythm. The touch sends a shiver down my spine, not because I fear it, but because I need it.Then, finally,

  • Knot My Alpha   65. Xavier

    I move because Jacob moves.That’s it.There’s no conscious thought behind my actions, no real understanding of what’s happening, just a dull awareness that if I stop, if I think, if I let myself feel any of this, I will break into pieces that I don’t know how to put back together.So I go through the motions.Jacob grips my wrist and pulls me to my feet, his hold firm but not rough, guiding me through the door, through the quiet halls of the Academy, through corridors I suddenly realize I may never see again. The thought should scare me, but it doesn’t. Nothing does. Because there is nothing left inside of me right now except for this hollow, gaping space where certainty used to be.I don’t even know if anyone grabbed my belongings. I don’t ask. I don’t care.I let Jacob lead me outside, and suddenly there are people I don’t know, dark suits and sharp voices, guiding us toward sleek black SUVs lined up at the edge of the Academy grounds. I should hesitate, should ask questions, shoul

  • Knot My Alpha   64. Jacob

    I push off my chair so fast it scrapes against the floor, my pulse roaring in my ears, my hands already pulling my phone from my pocket before I can fully process the storm of emotions tearing through my chest. My fingers are tight around the device, muscles tense, breath controlled but not calm—because calm is the last fucking thing I feel right now.Across from me, Xavier is spiraling.I can see it in the way his fingers clench at my blanket, knuckles white, his shoulders curling in on themselves, his breath coming too fast, too shallow. His curls hang over his face, shielding his expression from me, but I don’t need to see his eyes to know.He’s unraveling.Everything he’s believed, everything he’s trusted, has just been ripped out from under him.And they did it.His own parents.My jaw tightens as I press the call button, bringing the phone to my ear, pacing across the room as I wait for the line to connect. I don’t know what I expect—maybe for it to ring a few times, maybe for m

  • Knot My Alpha   63. Jacob

    Xavier’s words sit heavy in my chest, a weight I don’t know what to do with.I lean back slightly, running a hand down my face as I process everything he just told me. The trials, the forced resistance, the way his handlers—his so-called parents—pumped him full of inhibitors and threw him into situations designed to break his instincts before they ever had a chance to settle.Why?That’s the part I don’t get.Omegas are rare, but training one to resist an Alpha’s pull is almost unheard of. Why would they do that to him? Why would they work so hard to strip away the one thing that makes him an Omega?I study him carefully. He’s tense, arms wrapped around himself, curls falling into his face as he stares at a fixed point on my blanket, like if he focuses hard enough, he can will himself away from this conversation.He’s still shaking slightly, breath coming too fast, body still processing what I am to him, even if his mind refuses to accept it.“You ever ask them why?”Xavier blinks, hi

  • Knot My Alpha   62. Xavier

    “Because you’re my mate.”The words slam into me like a physical blow, knocking the breath from my lungs, making my entire body go still.No.That—that isn’t possible.Mates don’t exist. They’re a fantasy, a relic of old stories, something people want to believe in but know better than to trust. Bonds happen, sure, but they’re conditioned, nurtured, created—not destined.But I feel it.I felt it the moment Jacob touched me, the moment his voice dropped into that Alpha tone, the moment he scented me and my body gave in before my mind could catch up.It makes no fucking sense.I can’t breathe properly. My pulse is all over the place, my skin feels wrong, too hot, too tight, like I’m on the verge of something I don’t understand. My stomach clenches, my fingers digging into the sheets beneath me as I stare at him, my mind racing in a thousand different directions at once.“No,” I whisper, but it’s weak. It’s wrong.Jacob doesn’t argue. He just watches me, his face unreadable, his body loo

  • Knot My Alpha   61. Jacob

    I’m pacing.Back and forth, back and forth, muscles coiled so tight I feel like I might snap. My jaw is locked, my fingers running through my hair again and again, my breathing wrong—uneven, too shallow, not enough to quiet the fucking instincts roaring inside me.Because he’s here.He’s in my bed.Passed out, curled up against my pillows, body lax, completely fucking vulnerable in a way that makes something inside me ache, something I don’t want to name.I hadn’t known what else to do. I couldn’t leave him like that—in the hallway, confused, begging me for something he didn’t even understand. His scent had been so close to breaking free, his body reacting in ways he’d never experienced before, and it was my fault.So I brought him here. I laid him down on my bed, making sure he was comfortable, making sure he was safe before stepping back, needing space, needing air, needing to figure out what the fuck I just did.Because I scented him.I forced his body to calm, to stop spiraling, t

  • Knot My Alpha   60. Xavier

    It happens so fast I barely register it, the sharp shift, the pure Alpha scent that rolls off him so thick it makes my knees feel weak. The red of his irises are glowing, wild; his entire body going rigid as he stares at me like I just triggered something he wasn’t ready for.I barely choke out a breath. “Jacob—”He blinks, and just like that, it’s gone. His hands jerk back, his body snapping away from mine like he’s been burned. His breath is uneven, his jaw clenched tight like he’s fighting something.“You need to get away from me.”I should, but I can’t.Not when Jacob is still so close, his chest rising and falling with slow, controlled breaths, his fingers twitching like he’s restraining himself from doing something worse. Not when I can still feel the phantom burn of his knuckles against my throat, not when my body is still reacting, not when I can feel my scent pressing at the edges of my inhibitors, desperate to slip through.Not when his eyes had gone crimson the second he t

  • Knot My Alpha   59. Xavier

    Jacob’s hands plant on either side of my head, caging me against the wood, his body so close that my own instincts go haywire. One hand presses flat against the wood beside my head, the other still gripping my wrist, keeping me in place, keeping me right there as he leans in close.Too close.I suck in a sharp breath, pulse hammering, but I don’t move. Because I can’t. Because this is the closest I’ve ever been to an Alpha and felt it.And gods help me, I feel it.“How do you know?”The question yanks me out of my daze, my breath stuttering. “What?”His jaw clenches, his eyes searching my face like he’s looking for the answer before I can give it. “How do you know, Xavier?”I swallow hard, my pulse roaring in my ears. “I—”He leans in more, and I press back against the door like that’ll do anything to get away from the heat of him, the sheer weight of his presence. His scent is different up close, still masked, still wrong, but I can feel what’s beneath it now, the strength of it humm

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