Chapter Five :Run

Jeremy

"You look terrible, " Christina tells me when she comes to sit with me and Eva in the cafeteria before going to PE. The cafeteria's become our usual spot for hanging out because we can talk shit and no one will hush us the way they would if we were in the library. The only disadvantage is I can't smoke in here- I mean I tried and Chris and Eva were going to kill me.

I'm finishing my third coffee and that better be my last one as I'm starting to get restless. Eva's struggling with the package of her second Reese's bar and I'm pretty sure she has at least two more in her backpack.

"And you're exceptionally pretty today," I reply and lean back in my chair. I'm sure she's torn between thanking me and checking whether today she looks better than she normally does. She's most likely opted for the first since she still asks

"Yeah, what happened to you?"

"I studied for the test all night. Maths can be very damaging." Eva laughs but Christina's oblivious to the joke. Instead, she only concludes crossing her arms over her chest.

"You guys are totally weird, especially you, Jeremy. Are we going to class?"

Eva starts to get up but I stop her.

"We're coming in a minute."

"Ok, I'll see you later anyway." Christina gets up and I wait for her to leave before turning to Eva.

"Ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"About my brother. I saw you looking at him in the hallway. Yes, it's that obvious."

"No, it's not. I mean, there's nothing to be obvious about. " She frowns shortly after "Do you think someone's noticed. "

"Don't worry. At least not yet, so go on."

I mean, I've noticed but most people are too focused on themselves to pay any mind to the others around.

"He...is he applying for university next year?"

"Seriously, Eva? Of all the things you could ask, that's what you want to know? "

She's not good at this, but I wouldn't be either in her place. "But well- even if he doesn't want to, my parents will make him go. Next question."

"Okay. Does he have a girlfriend?"

"He doesn't". I expected that one and I'd better be honest because she looks hopeful after that first part of my answer. "But girls are the least of his problems."

"Why? Is he okay?"

"I hope so, he should be now. Anyway- he won't mind if you just go talk to him."

I know, you know and she knows she wouldn't, but still. "Or I could introduce you?"

Yes, that's the blush I was sure that would get.

"What? No, are you crazy? "

" A bit, but that's not the point."

She smiles and continues, pulling at the sleeve of her hoodie. "Besides he's got enough girls chasing him already. I don't think he needs more fans, you said that, right?"

"Well, it's...he's just always been popular, that's all. But I can still talk to him. And make sure you name at least one of your kids to me, ok?"

If a gaze could kill I'd be dead right about now. "No, wait- don't. I hate small kids."

"Your jokes are lame and you're making fun of me, Jeremy. And if you keep doing so, I'm telling Mrs. Chase you're the one who scribbled "Fuck School" on the board with a permanent marker. Got it?"

"But it's true, it sucks. I mean- look at this place. Even all those plastic red chairs we've been sitting on suck."

She rolls her eyes and I add, serious now- "Sorry, it's just really w weird talking to a girl about my brother. We'vе never really been that close before. We aren't much closer now, too."

I was just finishing telling her how Nathan and I were in different schools and hanging out with even more different friends when the bell rings and we've got to go.

* * *

Now, I know I could've just ditched it; say fuck it and go wander around aimlessly until the class is over, be the cool guy I want you to think I am. But I still don't know how things are here and I don't want the Principal calling my mother. At least not until the end of October.

The season's started, and the almighty Wolves have a game, so the guys are using the class to practice some kind of drills while the girls are giggling and discussing them. Eva's reading something on her phone and I decide I could take a short break. I get out of the gym, maybe I can go for a smoke in the back yard but I'll have to stop by the lockers first. I broke a glass last night and I cut my hand a little. It must've opened because I feel blood trickling down my hand.

"Never again," I mutter to myself as I hurry to the changing room. It should be empty because everyone's in class.

"Hey" Kyle looks up, startled at my slamming the door open.

"What?"

Oh, shit.

I've been avoiding the guy ever since day one. And I curse way too often, I know.

"I said hey, that's all. " he smiles and arches an eyebrow "Are you all right?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I asked you first."

Really? His face grows more serious and he looks down at his hands.

"Okay, never mind. I just wanted to stay alone for a while, it's too noisy in there."

Yeah, tell me about it. My head's been pounding at the temples for hours but I knew today would suck anyway.

"Doesn't it get too loud for you sometimes too?" he leans back on the wall behind him closing his eyes.

Kyle McDavid is talking to me about how he feels. I'd laugh out loud if I could. He extends his leg and grunts at the movement.

"It's....everyone's super excited about the game next week. First official one for the season" he sounds tired instead of thrilled as he should. The way everyone expects him to be.

I press.

"Aren't you excited? You're the captain after all."

I know perfectly well he isn't. Christina always says he's the best player of all and at first I thought she was blabbing about all that because she was mad at her ex.

I don't know shit about hockey but I guess scoring most of the points every game they had probably means that. Anyway, he's just looking for someone to just vent off to when his buddies aren't around. I hate the type, so I just press harder. "You are, right?"

"Oh, no, no- I'm not. Jared's the Captain. " He opens his eyes and turns to look at me. I resist the urge to take a step back when he says "I don't want to be weird I guess I'm just nervous."

Don't worry, I hold the "weirdo" title.

"By the way, I'm Kyle. "

He smiles and gets up extending his hand. Like I don't know his name already. When I don't return the greeting, he just takes it back and uses it to rub his neck.

"I'm sure you have too many names to remember but you'll learn them all in no time."

I'm suddenly pissed. Why the hell is he always so nice, I've seen him greeting even the cafeteria staff. I'm sure he's the kind of guy who watches TV with his family on the weekends and enjoys it.

"Jeremy."

"I know. Like the song, right?"

I don't have the time to wonder which song he means, or that he even knows the one that comes to my mind because he's already standing up and coming closer.

"Wow, your eyes really are different. I noticed something the first time, but I was too far to see well. Wow."

He's mental.

I instinctively lift my hand and start rubbing at my right eye as if I can wipe out the brown spots, scattered around the gray pool of my iris. He grasps, alarmed and the moment he does, I know what caused it.

Stupid blouse. You know, I sometimes have that crazy idea of not wearing black and this is what I get for my bad decisions. Remind me next time why I shouldn't try out new colors, okay? And here it goes.

"Are you all right? Did you fall?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."

"Does it hurt? Let me see."

He comes even closer and tries for my hand. I slap him away and hiss "Don't touch me, what are you doing?"

He lifts both his hands in surrender and steps back. "Okay, okay- I was just trying to help. My bad."

"I don't need help."

"Sorry, don't be so defensive. I just hope you're fine. "

"I'm perfect. And why do you care?"

“I just wanted to…”

He's standing on my way, so I push past him and storm out.

Forget all this. I go to my locker in the hallway and pick up my bag.

I have the rest of my stuff in the locker room but I'm not going back in there. I skip all the next classes. I'm not telling you what I did for the rest of the day, you probably saw enough already.