"That is not something that you can decide, Herravie" I press my lips together as I heard what Pollux said. I know what does it mean and he is right. I gaze down and fisted my hand. "The council will decide if they give Czar Ildefonso's life in your hands once again" Apollo paused and took a deep breath. "If they won't, then just agree with them" My forehead creased and turn my head to look at him. Our eyes meet and I know that it is evident in my face that I disagree to what he said. I've come this far, I defy my father, there will be no different if I defy the council. If that's what it takes to prove something to myself again, I don't care. I must prove to myself who really I am. I must remind myself what made my life like this, how I end up like this. It's not a big deal anymore if I try to become hardheaded. If I don't listen to the council and they will get mad at me, well, what's new? They never like me to begin with. They always do something to make me look like a failur
"Then I will kill him for you" His tone is firm and it weigh so much emotion despite how he's trying to control his anger. He is not like this, I am always feel as if he's not taking things serious but right now, I guess he's trying to be a big brother to me because I am questioning myself. "Would it still be a revenge if I let you do it?" I whisper, doubting. I shouldn't doubt. I know to myself that should not doubt my own brother but then here I am, hesitant to Pollux's concern. "Does it even matter?" He fire back and let go of me. "Do you really have to question who will kill that bastard? I think what's important is the assurance of his death. I can assure you that I can kill him for you" he added. He's right. I shouldn't question about it because what's important is he will die. Cesar Ildefonso is still there, he is the one who killed my parents while Sain is just my way to make him realize how painful to lost someone you love. But will it be okay to me? My lips move wan
Leaning on the railing of the tree house inside the Costello mansion, I couldn't help to think about Sain Czar. The wind is cold, thanks to my thick cotton jacket that protect me from shivering I was able to went outside despite the freezing night. I lifted my gaze to the clear night sky filled with shimmering dots of lights. It's been a long day, the first day that I was not with Sain since I pretend to be Selena Castania. For the months I was with him, I slowly get used of being called Selena, wife, darling, and little. And right now that I couldn't heard any of those words the rest of the day, I feel like missing it. I took a deep breath. Missing it is a big mistake. It is wrong for a Costello like me but I couldn't help it. Even just for some time, I don't want to be hypocrite. Maybe the change of my feelings toward Sain Czar is the reason why I am questioning myself, my worth, and my identity as a Costello. I gave down on the ring I am wearing. I haven't take it off yet, if A
"Cesar Ildefonso killed my family..." I remind myself while looking at my reflection on the mirror. I could no longer see the sweet smile of Selena Castania that I used to wear when greeting the people around me. The woman in the mirror is Herravie Costello, the woman who seeks vengeance. I am holding the gun that Luscio Costello gave me while reminding myself that I must hand this gun back at him stained with Sain Czar's blood. That's the only way I can prove to myself and to the Costello that I am one of them and I deserve to be a Costello woman. I am confused right now but this is no time for me to question everything. Despite relying on the memories I remember, still, I am hesitant if what I am doing right now is the best thing for me, for my family, and for the Costello. All I know is I must do something. I am force to do something because that's my responsibility since I become a Costello woman. I shut my eyes close and Sain Czar's handsome face flash on my mind. I could n
"Father cannot always defend you to the council, Hera. It may be sound as if I am forcing you but you need to finish this mission. Do not fail it" he said, voice that weigh so much emotion opposite to his serious face. I am force to do something even if I was not told to. It feels as if there is an invisible hand that push me to do things that I am hesitant to commit. Even without words, no command, on the back of my head I am force to things, to act with initiative. "I know what's my role in this family and what is my responsibility in the organization, Jaxer" I pause and took a deep breath. "I have to listen and be obedient even if that kills me inside. Even if I had to ignore my own emotion, what matters is to always get the work done without a mistake" A single tear escape my eyes followed by the strong blows of the wind. I am not sure if Jaxer saw it but one thing is for sure, he is aware that I am struggling right now. There is a silent dilemma inside me and my hesitation is
I GASP and open my eyes widely. An unfamiliar ceiling greeted me gone the huge fire that's been occupying my vision while I am sleeping. I breath heavily catching for air, I felt as if I run for miles because of the up and down movement of my chest and the sweat on my forehead. After slowly recovering from the same nightmare that has been haunting me for fifteen long years, a realization came to my head. I am inside an unfamiliar room, a place that I am sure I haven't see before even just once. Where am I? What happen to me? I scan my eyes around and no matter how I tried to familiarize the place, I really couldn't recognize it. The last thing I remember is when I got a fight with Cassinno because of our sudden encounter and Antonio help me to escape but unfortunately, he also saw how I carelessly let go Cassinno and refuse to shoot it on the head despite having a chance to do it. But I should not think about it, what I should focus right now is to know what the hell happen to me.
"What are you trying to say?" I hissed, eyes are burning with rage. I could feel my blood boiling as I look at him sharply with fisted hand. If I just had a gun right now, for sure the barrel is already on his head. If looks could kill, Sain Czar Ildefonso is probably dead by now. The expression of his face remain while looking at me intently. He is not bothered how I look at him flaunting my anger. Although I see no emotion in his deep drowning eyes, I know on the back of his head, a lot of thoughts is bothering him. Sain always maintain his composure but that doesn't mean he doesn't losses his temper. He's just good at hiding his real emotion. He's difficult to read, he's not easy to predict. He is mysterious as his name. "I am just simply stating what I know, woman" he reply in a straight tone as his eyes carefully trail to my neck down to my expose shoulders and arms. Does he know something? Or he is trying to know something from me that's why he's doing this. Provoking me.
"My real name is Celeste Astraea Cortezi, the promised bride of Cassinno, your brother" I stare at Sain Czar's face not wanting to miss even just a little change of his emotion. I am attentive even to the movement of his brows and blink of his eyes a sign of him taken aback with my statement. Perhaps he already had a hint about my real identity but I am still expecting a surprise reaction from him but then I got nothing. His handsome face remain stoic, his eyes are darker than its normal shade, and his lips is on the thin line. If he was difficult to read a while ago, I think it got harder even more right now. It feels as if there is a sudden dark force that surround Sain Czar and the menacing around that revolves around him is a bit alarming. My mind is giving me a warning signal that I should stay away from him because I might end up dead with his hands but at the same time the other side of me is confident that Sain will not do anything to hurt me which sound so freaking stupid