Chapter 7

~Smile ... tomorrow will be worse~

Time meant nothing as I lay on the bench. I cried so much I think I ran out of tears. A few hours earlier the house was crazy, people were trying to find their family members, and rush out as fast as they could. Graham held me in his arms until my body became limp, and he eased his grip. I pushed myself from his arms and ran inside to find Susan, but I was too late. They had taken her already. Only a few police cars remained the blue and red flashing lights seemingly surreal, like Christmas tree lights compared to my Carnival. Police officers were questioning Mrs. Bradley, the party planner, and other household staff. When Graham found me one of the Police Officers, called him over, and saved me. No one noticed me leave the house. I ran down the sundeck across the stretch of the large manicured garden, past the bushes and trees, and flowers to the path to the beach.

I knew that everyone would be worried about me and wouldn’t think to find me here. Only Susan knew how much I loved to sit on this bench next to the lamppost and just watch the ocean.

“The sun has risen,” Murphy said as if he cared. “You should go back.”

“No,” I replied stubbornly and sat up quickly. This was just like those moments when I sat here with my Dad and we’d watch the sunrise in the mornings and sunset in the evenings. Things were very different now. He was in Japan or somewhere else with Miss Evans, Mom was in Spain waiting for Antony, and… Susan was gone. I was alone, again.

Anger swelled up within me, and I stood from the bench, glaring at Murphy.

“It’s all your fault,” I could feel the tears begin to rapidly fall from my already swollen eyes. “You’re not my friend. Leave, Murphy, just leave, now.” I heard myself screaming. “I don’t ever want to see you again, you…you ruined everything!”

Murphy looked at me and it seemed as if he wanted to say something, but said nothing. Instead, he turned around and slowly walked away, his shoes clipping against the path, swinging his cane around the crook of his arm.

***

I felt like I was floating, no, flying in the air. My body felt weak and I was safe in strong arms. My eyes fluttered a few times, but the light was too bright and I was told to stay still and rest; to sleep. And, so I did.

The days went by in a haze and all I remembered was our family doctor visiting which was strange because he usually didn’t make house calls. I liked Dr. Hausman. He was about my dad’s age and they would talk a lot about golf and tennis. His pale blue eyes looked like ripples in pool water, a long, large nose, and thin white hair.

My chest felt like small rocks had filled my lungs and rattled every time I coughed. My body was stiff and I wished the hammer would stop pounding my head. There was another type of pain it was deep inside my chest, and tears brimmed as I thought of Susan. It felt like I woke up to a dream that had become reality and the clocks couldn’t turn back the time. I had no idea what happened, but the intense pain that surrounded me were like waves beating at the sand on the beach; over and over again.

No one was in my room when I woke up and the dark lilac curtains were drawn, but I could see the late afternoon sun try to peep through the creases. I chose this room so I could see the sunset every night whenever my dad had to travel, but now it was just a reminder of the times we used to spend together.     

I lifted my hand to wipe my eyes and felt a sting in the crook of my left arm. It was cool and metallic I felt a needle inserted into my skin and covered by tape, it pressed hard against my arm and was attached to a narrow plastic tube. My eyes followed the plastic tube to the top of a tall steel pole where a half-full bag of translucent liquid was hooked at the top. Was I really in my room? I looked at my arm again. Isn’t this something for people in the hospital?

I could feel soft blankets underneath my light lilac duvet and the familiar comfort of my bed, yes, I was in my room and not in the hospital. Just above eye level, my large wall-mounted LED screen hummed softly to a music channel.

“Ah, you’re finally awake,” I heard his voice, hollow as always, “I was wondering when you’d wake up. You gave everyone a scare, you know. You should have listened to me.”

“I thought I told you to leave me alone, to go away,” I said in a soft raspy voice and my throat felt rough as if I’d eaten pineapple.

“Don’t speak, Willow,” Murphy’s voice sounded deeply concerned and I believed him. “You were very sick and have been in bed for almost two weeks.”

My eyes shot open and I managed to turn my head in direction of his voice. He sat comfortably on a couch from a corner in my room with his foot resting over his knee.

“I was…what?” I stared at him in disbelief, “that’s not possible, I…” my voice trailed off as I realized he had been with me the entire time. He had been worried.

“Then…Then why am I not in the hospital?” The needle in my arm was sore and uncomfortable.

“Ask your parents,” Murphy shrugged, “I stopped questioning their stupid actions and foolish decisions long ago. It’s only you that I’m curious about.”

“Murphy…” I said, feeling a lump in my throat, “what about Susan?”

He let out a soft gentle sigh, “She is fine, Willow, but I doubt you’ll see her again.”

I said nothing. After the commotion at my birthday party and the shame and embarrassment that my parents probably felt they had to endure I knew Murphy was right. Susan would be a name never to be mentioned and forgotten. I missed her so much.

“Please tell me what happened to Susan?” I asked with clenched brows, “I know no one will tell me.”

From my bed I was surprised to see his gaze was full of pity, one side corner of his mouth tipped upward as his brows crinkled.

“Fine,” he said and leaned forward, “the silly girl got involved with some bad people who committed a crime and tried to blame her for it.”

“Committed a crime?” I repeated, “What crime?”

“I’m sure you remember, Kyle?” He peered at me with one brow raised and I nodded. “He was-or should I say-used to be a drug dealer.”

I gasped, “What?” My chest rattled and heaved as I coughed.

“Susan tried to come to see you,” Murphy’s expression did not change, “but your parents would not allow it.”

There were hurried footsteps at the door and it swung open. Mrs. Bradley rushed into my room and Murphy stayed silent. I needed to know more.

“Willow!” Mrs. Bradley gushed in a sweet soft tone. “Finally, you’re awake, how are you feeling?” She shook her head slightly and said, “That cough is still bad.” She sat on my bed and placed her hand behind my back and helped me to a seated position. With her free hand, she reached out to a jug of water and a glass on my bedside table and poured a little water.

“What happened?” I sipped from the glass and tried to not cough. It was painful, like stabbing needles.

“I’m sorry, Willow,” Mrs. Bradley sighed. “We looked everywhere for you and after we searched the entire mansion, Luke remembered you and Susan often went down to the beach.” Her lips twisted to one side. “What were you thinking, Willow? We found you sleeping on the bench inside the gazebo; the lamplight had just gone off. We were worried sick. It was cold and you caught double pneumonia. Your parents were extremely angry and nearly fired us all.”

The pounding hammer in my head intensified and I closed my eyes. Yes, I realized how selfish I had been. I was irritated that again I had to agree Murphy had been right.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, a lump formed in the back of my throat and I looked at her. “I’m sorry,” I repeated. It was all I could say and my chest filled with agonizing pain and I wished for Susan. Tears ran down my cheeks and Mrs. Bradley hugged me and rocked back and forth telling me everything would be alright, but I knew it would not be alright, nothing would ever be the same again.

***

It seemed I did get very sick and I had to use a nebulizer and inhale mist with antibiotics using a face mask that covered my nose and mouth three times a day; it was horrible. Mostly my chest hurt and rattled whenever I coughed, I got dizzy at times and felt hot and cold at the same time. Mrs. Bradley had to help me to the bathroom when I needed to go. From the time I woke up Graham began making all my favorite types of food, but I wasn’t hungry. Mrs. Bradley told me that my parents were eager to talk to me. I wondered why they had not come to see me if they knew I was so sick and I had been sleeping all week, there had been plenty of time for them to come. So, why were they not here with me now?

Other than Susan, Luke was the next knowledgeable person on electronics and quickly setup Skype on my LED screen. I waited for almost an hour before I heard the beeping and ringing from my screen. Mom’s screen popped up and I lay in bed watching as combed her hair from the reflection of the screen. Whether or not she knew I was waiting, she said nothing and lined her lips with tan-colored lip-gloss. When my Dad’s screen popped up, 10 minutes later, she smiled at the screen. He was sitting at his desk and always it was neat and tidy. They were both as I remembered them and I felt sadness fill my heart and I had to swallow my tears away.

“Sweetie,” Mom’s voice was sweet like cherry and her eyes seemed to pierce my heart, but she couldn’t see what lay inside. “I am so happy and relieved to see you’re awake, but you look so pale.”

“Freckles, we were both worried,” his brows were pinched and he looked serious. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that with Susan and the police, and…Sunshine, I’m just so sorry.” His hazel eyes looked damp and as if he was about to cry, “Willow, please don’t ever do that again. I thought we’d lost you.”

Mom briefly looked away. She bit her bottom lip and her eyes fluttered. Was she crying?

“About, Susan,” a small frown crept upon her delicate, smooth face. “You do understand that we cannot employ her anymore? Don’t you?”

There, I thought, she did it again; as Dad would say ‘straight at the sweet spot’.

“But, she’s innocent, Mom,” I said, my voice was hoarse and pleading, “she did nothing wrong.”

“Lexi now isn’t the time,” Dad sighed, hands behind his head and sat back in his chair, his lips pursed. “We don’t want to upset you, Sunshine.” His voice suddenly sounded warbled over the video-call and I silently prayed the connection wouldn’t drop.

“Why aren’t you here?” I felt tears fall down my cheeks, “Why aren’t you here with me. I need you.” I buried my face into my hands and sobbed. “I’m all alone now.”

My parents were quiet and I thought they had gone.

Dad spoke first and his voice sounded crackly and hoarse either from emotion or from the sound quality of the video-call connection.

“Your mother and I have spoken in great depth about everything, Sunshine.” I heard him sigh, “I know things have been tough on you and it's not your fault.”

“Yes, Sweetie,” Mom sounded sincere and her voice warbled, too. “We came down as soon as we could, but we couldn’t stay with you.”

“It was a tough decision but we both agree that it is the best thing for you.” Dad’s voice was hesitant and I looked up at the screen. I felt a chill run down my spine as they both looked at me and I knew it was a decision that I would not like.