Chapter 4: First kiss

First kiss

After all the exchange of I do's, I decided to stay at an empty room there. I don't know where we are.  Ismaiah let me have my peace for a while and remained quiet and far from me after the impulsive decision of our wedding.

I stared at my left hand, particularly at my ring finger and sighed. I am really married. I can't believe I am married at this age.

I never expect this to happen. I have a lot of things I wanted to do, I didn't even entertain man queuing over me because having a partner is not even on my plan.

I'm too young, 25 and already married? At this age, I am still starting to live... independently yet this happened.

And my dad... I didn't expect him to betray me like this! Really? For a fucking  debt? He sold me for a fucking debt?

Am I only worth that much? Is my life only worth that much? He didn't even gave me a choice! He didn't give me a heads up! One thing I know, I already woke up to an unknown room, thinking I was kidnapped not knowing that my father is also behind this!

I hate that even though I am feeling ballistic right now, I am still thinking and worried if he got home safe. He's old now, I just hope his driver knows how to take care of him in the car.

"Elysian, come out for a while. Let's eat," I heard Ismaiah called after knocking to the door.

I pressed my head on my pillow and screamed my heart out. I hate them! I hate this life! I hate myself for letting my anger rule over me earlier!

If I didn't act so impulsive earlier, I wouldn't be wearing this goddamn ring and be tied up onto him!

"Elysian Yoki!" Ismaiah's voice boomed around the house. It slightly made me flinched on my place.

His voice really sound intimidating and authorative. If you don't know him, you'll probably shit on your pants the moment you heard his voice.

"I'm not hungry!" I shouted back, annoyed at how I felt a little frightened earlier with his voice.

"Don't make me enter this room forcefully, Elysian."

"Leave me alone, Ismaiah."

"This won't work out if you'll act like this..." I ignored his words.

I shut my eyes tightly and balled my hand into a fist. If only I can punch him, I may feel a little bit better but I don't want to hurt anyone just because I am frustrated.

Should I just punch a wall? That'll just make me look like a fool.

Work out he said? This? The thing between us? I don't think that'll happen. I don't even know if I can look at him without anger in my eyes.

They made me feel worthless, someone you can throw off if its not convenient already. And I hate how I am questioning my worth now.

I used to be so confident, I know what I want, I know what I need to do, I know what I deserve, and I know my worth but right now, all I can think is how everyone around me can do the same thing as my father did because that's how life is.

My existence is not as important to them as what I am thinking.

Bullshits. Love? My father loves me? That's how he love a person? a daughter?

He's the only one I have yet he did this to me! How am I supposed to open up to anyone after this? I don't know anymore.

I sighed blatantly after hearing the door opened. Of course, he has the key. He own tons of house just in this fucking place. Just how wealthy he is that he can buy a person's life now?

"Elysian..."

"Stop calling my name. I hate hearing it from you."

"Let's eat. I don't want to eat alone," he softly muttered. "I want to eat with my wife..." that's the only time that his word touch me.

Wife... I am really a wife now. Is this a dream? If this is... can somebody wake me up?

I face him with a peeve expression. Suddenly, tears clouded my vision. It's like realization just hit me. Seeing him here in front of me made my hope vanish in the air, that this is just a dream, a prank or something that will end just within this day.

"I can cry, finally..." I gave him a chortle. "The last time I did was when my mother died."

Funny how the atmosphere between us can change every second. We may be fighting at this hour and then talking about bullshits and life seconds after.

I sometimes feel comfortable but usually I just feel so unfamiliar with everyone, even myself.

I saw how his jaw clenched. I don't understand him, does he want this? or does he not? Reading him is one of the hardest thing I'll encounter in life. He knows so well how to protect his emotions, his thoughts and even how he can show himself in everyone.

Unpredictable. One day he'll act all rude and annoying, the next day he's all good and caring. Just like now.

The only thing I hate about him now is how he is my husband.

"It's okay to cry sometimes..."

I glared at him, "I know that already."

"I'm just reminding you. It seems to me that you're holding yourself back. Earlier, when you're talking to your father, even though you're telling yourself that you want to cry, I can see that you're stopping yourself for your father not to see it."

"You talked to much."

"You cried earlier too, this is not the first time I saw you cry," he chuckled. Right! I did! On his chest! What an embarrassment! And he even have to remind me?! "But it's okay, you still look pretty even when crying."

"What's with you and your obsession with the word pretty?" I snarled at him.

He shrugged, "What? Everyone have their own likes and for me... I like pretty things."

"What's with you today? Why do you sound soft? And why are you acting all caring right now?"

He chuckled, "What are you saying? I'm usually like this?"

"You're really lying on my face? What a dickhead moron."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Ismaiah shrugged and let his body fall on my bed.

"You're crazy..."

"I really am. I married you remember?"

I sneered, "And now it's my fault? You're the one who got me here."

"You're the one who asked to get married right now."

"Let's get divorce then," I scoffed for feeling like a prick.

My word got his full attention. He then turned briskly to face me and raised a brow.

"You wish, Elysian. There's no divorce happening between us, today or for the next years."

I winced, "Do you like me?"

He promptly looked away as he cocked a brow. My stare lingered on his face, anticipating. I know what he's answer will be but somehow, I am hoping the opposite of what I am expecting.

I am a woman, of course... I have my own ideal relationship. A relationship where there is fair contribution of love, trust and happiness. I love to be inside a relationship wherein there is love in between, unlike what's in front of me right now.

"I do, I like pretty things," he draw in his shoulders.

"This is why I hate you."

The night ended with us talking and fighting about random things. We are just so different with each other, no similarities at all.

Even with the small things, there is an argent between us, like kids, fighting for their toys, not wanting to share with each other.

A week after, my dad visited our house. Yes, our. If I could only get all his properties, maybe my anger will lessen.

"Your father is outside," Ismaiah reminded as he saw me laying on my chest peacefully on our bed.

I am even holding a book, reading a chapter when he got out from the bathroom.

"I don't have a father," I shortly respond.

"You still don't want to talk to him?"

I turned to him and glowered, "Just shut up and go, Ismaiah."

"You shouldn't treat your husband like that, Elysian," he firmly uttered.

I nibbled with my lower lip and averted my eyes, "Leave me alone, sweetie." I sarcastically muttered. "Am I supposed to talk like that?"

"Stop being sarcastic for once, Elysian!"

My eyes doubled at that. Did he just raised his voice at me?!

"Then stop being annoying for once!"

He hovered over his hair in frustration as he languidly walk towards the side where I am closer.

I look at him inquisitively. What is this move again?

Ismaiah leaned in, making me dumped myself deeper on the bed. I can smell the mint flavored toothpaste on his mouth, his hair are still dripping wet, some of it got into my face already.

He cornered me using his arms, putting it on my both sides and leaning in more closer to my face.

I pursed my lips tightly and glowered. In a snapped, he immediately turned me to face him.

I gasped in surprised as he tried to steal a peck on my lips.

"What the fuck are you doing, Ismaiah?" I hissed in disbelief. I tried punching and pushing him away but he remained still.

His eyes started to look weary. Now that I am under him, I feel weak. I can't even look straightly at his eyes. I feel like he'll see how the distance between us is affecting my inside.

The churning and twisting in my stomach continued to worsen. I can't even breathe properly now. The abnormal beating of my heart is uncontrollable, I can't seem to calm down.

"One more fuck and I'll show you how it is done, sweetie," he whispered in a seductive manner.

"Shut up and get away from me," I seethed. "Are you fucking horny?—"

I didn't even had the chance to continue what I am about to say. In a second, I just realized that he's already claiming my lips.

He kissed me. At first, it was still but after a few seconds, his lips started moving slowly and gently... like he's soothing me... like he do not want to hurt me.

I can't move. I can't think properly. My mind is blank. Instead of pushing him, I closed my eyes and let him do what he wants.

I didn't respond to it but he keeps going and trying to make me open my mouth.

I grip at the end of his shirt tightly.

I don't know how to kiss! Why is he doing this to me! He just steal my first kiss! I really really really hate him!

I couldn't find my strength. Somehow, I wanted to respond but I don't know how to... I thought he'll stop already but he just got a little more aggressive than he did seconds ago. I am left with no choice but to imitate what he's doing.

I felt the side of his lips rose up as I started responding to his kisses. I didn't even noticed how my hands started to hold onto his nape, trying to get some strength there because I am obviously out with my trance now, all occupied by his kisses.

I cocked my head to the side as he retracted away from my lips. He hid his face on my chest. We're both breathing heavily, trying to catch our breathes.

I can feel the twin spots of crimson appearing on my cheeks, fluttered at what just happened, I bit the inside of my cheeks and let Ismaiah got caught up with my embraced.

I don't want him to get up and see my flustered expression. There's no way I will let him tease me because of this.

"Want more, sweetie?" he mischievously uttered.

I tsked, "Shut up!"

"Make me shut up, Elysian."

"Just stay there for a while, stop peeking at my face!"

"I love to see you all pink."

"Stop playing with your words, it's not funny."

"Just saying..." he chuckled. "You're father is downstairs."

"You don't need to repeat that. I clearly know that ever since he got here."

"And I stole your first kiss..." I stiffened when I felt him deploying timid kisses on my shoulder. "I'm my wife's first kiss... I'm fluttered!"

"How sure of you that you are?"

"I just know," he muttered. From my shoulder to my jaw, he didn't stop planting soft kisses there. "Since I started this already... should I get all your first then?"

My forehead knitted, "What are you saying? You fucking pervert!"

"No one is allowed to touch you anymore, Elysian. You are mine and mine only," he spoke into my ear that made my jaw dropped.