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Chapter 97: In heaven or on earth
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Keeping Score Chapter 98: Fading
QUINNWinter used to be my favorite time at the shore. Ocean City was nearly a ghost town during December, compared to how it was in the middle of summer; the locals were there, but thanks to the biting cold and damp air, most of us stayed indoors unless it was absolutely necessary. I loved having the beach to myself, or just about, when my parents and I would come down before Christmas. The ocean seemed wilder, loud and forbidding, the sand was blown into peaks and valleys, and I often found shells I didn't at other times of the year. But this year, the creeping gray of each new dawn felt threatening instead of comforting. It seemed that death drew nearer every hour, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. I'd fought against the sense of impending doom by going absolutely crazy with my Christmas decorating; we had a huge tree in the great room, and then I'd also bought a smaller artificial one for Nate's room. He didn't venture beyond his bed anymore, but he'd smiled faintly when
Keeping Score Chapter 99: Full of Grace
QUINNAfter that, we began to measure time in days and hours rather than weeks. This season of the year particularly, there were landmarks: when we made it through first Christmas Eve and then Christmas, those were two milestones. Sheri was pathetically grateful to have one more holiday with her son, even if he was asleep most of it, and I didn't begrudge her that sentiment in the least. My mother came down to the shore on Christmas Eve and stayed until the day after Christmas. She asked me if I needed her to hang around longer, but I shook my head. This was not her journey, not the way it was mine. Leo called two days after Christmas. He was at home in Eatonboro, and he wanted to know if he should come down. I hesitated. "You can if you want, Leo," I replied carefully. "But Nate ...he might not wake up while you're here. I hate for you to drive down and not get to talk to him.""It wouldn't be for Nate." His voice was rough with emotion. "I already said good-bye to him.""You
Keeping Score Chapter 100: To say goodbye
LEONate had planned his own funeral. Quinn told me that he'd actually had parts of it figured out since high school. That didn't surprise me. Nate had said once that he'd always known his life expectancy wasn't very long, and death had hovered near him time and again as we all grew up. We gathered in the church his family had attended for years on a cold afternoon in mid-January. I sat in a pew with my parents, my brothers Simon and Danny, and Simon's girlfriend Justine, two rows behind the front pew where Quinn and Carrie had joined Mark and Sheri. The church wasn't even near full, and I couldn't help comparing the turnout here with that at Matt's service last year. That day, the church had been so full, they'd had to stream the service outside to the people who couldn't get in, and his grandparents' house had been crowded afterward for the repast. It made me unreasonably angry; Nate had fought with everything he had to hold onto life, and Matt had thrown his away with both hands.
Keeping Score Chapter 101: Reunion
LEOThe repast after the funeral was at my parents' house. Mark and Sheri weren't up to hosting it, and although Carrie had offered, my mom had convinced them to let her handle it, saying she was going to enlist my brothers and me to do most of the work. So once I got home, I found myself laying out trays, setting up a beverage station and directing strangers to the bathrooms. Simon came in, carrying a huge tub of ice, followed by Danny with two hot pans of lasagna. "Where's Justine? If she's going to be part of the family, shouldn't she have to do her share of the work?" Danny eased the food onto hot pads and glanced over his shoulder at our brother. "I mean, if not, what's the benefit in having her?""Dude, the benefits are manifold." Simon smirked and chucked at cube of ice at Danny. "I'm not giving you details, because I'm a gentleman and shit, but let's just say she needs to rest up. Save her strength for the important stuff she has to do.""And number one on that list of s
Keeping Score Chapter 102: Parting again
LEOQuinn sunk a little further into the sofa before she answered Zelda's question. "I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about it. When Nate was still here, it felt wrong to worry about what would happen after he ...wasn't. I mean, he was always trying to talk about it. He kept pushing me to think about a new job, or moving away from here. Somewhere." She glanced at me, a mixture of question and hesitancy in her eyes. I knew she was wondering what was going to happen next between us. Maybe she was waiting for me to say something, to make some kind of move. But fuck it all, I'd promised Nate I was going to give Quinn time and space. And even if I hadn't, there was no way I was going to come on to her at his funeral, when she still looked shell-shocked and wounded. I needed to get away from all this and let her heal a little bit. I had to think about what Nate had advised, now that it was more than just a hypothetical decision. It was no longer what I might do when Nate was dea
Keeping Score Chapter 103: Tired of biding my time
LEO"As God is my witness, I'm never going to drink again." I cradled my aching head in my hands, resting my elbows on the kitchen table. "Hmmm." My mother pushed a mug of steaming coffee toward me. "I think I've heard that before." She smirked. "I think I've said that before, come to think of it. What was it that pushed you over the edge?""Tequila shots. Tucker's idea. I hate that guy.""No, you don't." Mom's voice was mild. "Eli's a lovely young man, especially given what he's been through. He doesn't seem bitter at all. And if I were him, honestly, the last person I'd want to hang out with would be you.""Gee, thanks, Mom. You know how to make a guy feel loved." I winced a little at the sound of my own voice and reached for the coffee."No, you know what I mean. You're living Eli's dream. Playing pro ball and all that. The fact that he doesn't seem to resent you is pretty amazing." She sipped her own mug. "Do I even want to know how you got home? I know you didn't drive in t
Keeping Score Chapter 104: The last straw
QUINN"Honey, do you have a minute?" My mother spoke at the same time as she rapped softly on my half-open door, her anxious eyes seeking me.I rolled over on my bed, fighting the temptation to answer her sarcastically. Sure, I have a minute, as long as it doesn't interrupt my rigorous napping schedule. Over the past two weeks, since I'd moved back home, napping made up the majority of my days. I slept late, went to bed early, and in between those two brackets, I drifted off into oblivion as often as I could. My mom made me leave the house every now and again, taking me out to lunch or dinner or even just to the grocery store. I could see the worry on her face whenever she looked at me, and I hated that I put it there. But I couldn't seem to force myself to do anything to alleviate it. Mark and Sheri had left town almost right after Nate's funeral. On the advice of several grief counselors and friends, they had taken an extended trip to Hawaii. "We need to get away from it all.
Keeping Score Chapter 105: Taking a flying leap
QUINNI'd taken the train back and forth pretty often while Leo was at Carolina. It was cheaper than flying, and the station was more convenient than the airport, on both ends. Plus, the ride down gave me time to do homework and catch up on reading, freeing me up for fun while I was with Leo. I was familiar with both the routine of the rails and the route south.Still, when I swung off the train in Richmond on that Thursday night, I was more than a little nervous ...not just because I'd never been to this city. I'd taken a big gamble coming down here, and riding on the train, I'd had six hours to consider all the ways it could go wrong. For instance, what if Leo was with someone? I hadn't exactly asked him if he was involved with a woman now. When I'd run into him at the grocery store last July, it had shocked me to see him with Sarah Jenkins, but I hadn't heard anything more about her since then. And Leo had assured me that they were just friends. Of course, that had been back in
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