QUINN"I think this Rebels team has given Philadelphia more of a run for their money than they expected, Joe. What do you think?"The other commentator grinned into the camera. "I'd say you're right on, Carl. Here we are in the middle of the fourth quarter, and Philadelphia's fighting for every yard, with Richmond only one touchdown from a tie." He paused, and his voice dropped a little. "Philadelphia lines up on their own forty-two-yard line. It's third and seven ...Calvert's back, and he's looking, he's looking for an open receiver, but the Rebels are all over this, and ...sacked! Calvert's sacked for the second time today, and that's going to bring on the punting team.""It's so weird to be cheering against Philadelphia." Zelda tipped back her third beer. "I spent my whole life rooting for this team. But I never knew anyone on it who'd fucked one of my best friends.""Zelda." I shook my head. "Sheesh. Couldn't you just say that you have a friend on the Rebels? Leave it at that?"
LEO"I'm pretty sure I just ate my weight in fried chicken." I pushed back a little from the dining room table and exhaled. "It was so delicious, Ellie. Everything was. Thanks so much."Ellie Iverson beamed at me from the other side of the table. "Good. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now maybe you'll come over more often."Next to his wife, Corey laughed and brought her hand up to his lips, turning it to press a kiss to the palm. "Nothing fires up my woman more than the thought of a single man living alone and going hungry. If she had her way, she'd feed all the bachelors on the team every night.""Hey." She swatted at him playfully. "That's not true. I just like to cook, and I love to see people enjoy what I've made.""Nothing wrong with that." I crumpled up my napkin. "I'm more than happy to enjoy it. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get over here. Moving down here and getting settled has taken me some time.""Well, now you know your way here. Don't be a stranger." She stood up and
LEO"Taylor, man." Corey finished the last bite of his third slice of pie. "That right there is some seriously fucked-up shit. It's like something you'd see in one of those Lifetime movies." He darted a glance to his wife and then back to me. "Not that I've ever seen any of them. But I hear things.""Yeah, well, I'd trade it in for some plain old boring any time, as long as that came along with Quinn." I forked up a bite of my first slice of pie. Talking had kept me from eating as fast as Corey had. "But it's out of my hands." "For now it is." Ellie reached over to lay her hand on my arm. "But ...have you thought about what comes next?" "Sometimes that's all I can think about." I licked a crumb of crust from my lip. "As long as we were deep in the season, I could push it to the background. But I've got too much time right now, and I'm going out of my mind." Laying down my fork, I sat back. "Which makes me feel like shit, because I'm basically waiting out my friend's death. When I
QUINNWinter used to be my favorite time at the shore. Ocean City was nearly a ghost town during December, compared to how it was in the middle of summer; the locals were there, but thanks to the biting cold and damp air, most of us stayed indoors unless it was absolutely necessary. I loved having the beach to myself, or just about, when my parents and I would come down before Christmas. The ocean seemed wilder, loud and forbidding, the sand was blown into peaks and valleys, and I often found shells I didn't at other times of the year. But this year, the creeping gray of each new dawn felt threatening instead of comforting. It seemed that death drew nearer every hour, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. I'd fought against the sense of impending doom by going absolutely crazy with my Christmas decorating; we had a huge tree in the great room, and then I'd also bought a smaller artificial one for Nate's room. He didn't venture beyond his bed anymore, but he'd smiled faintly when
QUINNAfter that, we began to measure time in days and hours rather than weeks. This season of the year particularly, there were landmarks: when we made it through first Christmas Eve and then Christmas, those were two milestones. Sheri was pathetically grateful to have one more holiday with her son, even if he was asleep most of it, and I didn't begrudge her that sentiment in the least. My mother came down to the shore on Christmas Eve and stayed until the day after Christmas. She asked me if I needed her to hang around longer, but I shook my head. This was not her journey, not the way it was mine. Leo called two days after Christmas. He was at home in Eatonboro, and he wanted to know if he should come down. I hesitated. "You can if you want, Leo," I replied carefully. "But Nate ...he might not wake up while you're here. I hate for you to drive down and not get to talk to him.""It wouldn't be for Nate." His voice was rough with emotion. "I already said good-bye to him.""You
LEONate had planned his own funeral. Quinn told me that he'd actually had parts of it figured out since high school. That didn't surprise me. Nate had said once that he'd always known his life expectancy wasn't very long, and death had hovered near him time and again as we all grew up. We gathered in the church his family had attended for years on a cold afternoon in mid-January. I sat in a pew with my parents, my brothers Simon and Danny, and Simon's girlfriend Justine, two rows behind the front pew where Quinn and Carrie had joined Mark and Sheri. The church wasn't even near full, and I couldn't help comparing the turnout here with that at Matt's service last year. That day, the church had been so full, they'd had to stream the service outside to the people who couldn't get in, and his grandparents' house had been crowded afterward for the repast. It made me unreasonably angry; Nate had fought with everything he had to hold onto life, and Matt had thrown his away with both hands.
LEOThe repast after the funeral was at my parents' house. Mark and Sheri weren't up to hosting it, and although Carrie had offered, my mom had convinced them to let her handle it, saying she was going to enlist my brothers and me to do most of the work. So once I got home, I found myself laying out trays, setting up a beverage station and directing strangers to the bathrooms. Simon came in, carrying a huge tub of ice, followed by Danny with two hot pans of lasagna. "Where's Justine? If she's going to be part of the family, shouldn't she have to do her share of the work?" Danny eased the food onto hot pads and glanced over his shoulder at our brother. "I mean, if not, what's the benefit in having her?""Dude, the benefits are manifold." Simon smirked and chucked at cube of ice at Danny. "I'm not giving you details, because I'm a gentleman and shit, but let's just say she needs to rest up. Save her strength for the important stuff she has to do.""And number one on that list of s
LEOQuinn sunk a little further into the sofa before she answered Zelda's question. "I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about it. When Nate was still here, it felt wrong to worry about what would happen after he ...wasn't. I mean, he was always trying to talk about it. He kept pushing me to think about a new job, or moving away from here. Somewhere." She glanced at me, a mixture of question and hesitancy in her eyes. I knew she was wondering what was going to happen next between us. Maybe she was waiting for me to say something, to make some kind of move. But fuck it all, I'd promised Nate I was going to give Quinn time and space. And even if I hadn't, there was no way I was going to come on to her at his funeral, when she still looked shell-shocked and wounded. I needed to get away from all this and let her heal a little bit. I had to think about what Nate had advised, now that it was more than just a hypothetical decision. It was no longer what I might do when Nate was dea