QUINN"I think this Rebels team has given Philadelphia more of a run for their money than they expected, Joe. What do you think?"The other commentator grinned into the camera. "I'd say you're right on, Carl. Here we are in the middle of the fourth quarter, and Philadelphia's fighting for every yard, with Richmond only one touchdown from a tie." He paused, and his voice dropped a little. "Philadelphia lines up on their own forty-two-yard line. It's third and seven ...Calvert's back, and he's looking, he's looking for an open receiver, but the Rebels are all over this, and ...sacked! Calvert's sacked for the second time today, and that's going to bring on the punting team.""It's so weird to be cheering against Philadelphia." Zelda tipped back her third beer. "I spent my whole life rooting for this team. But I never knew anyone on it who'd fucked one of my best friends.""Zelda." I shook my head. "Sheesh. Couldn't you just say that you have a friend on the Rebels? Leave it at that?"
LEO"I'm pretty sure I just ate my weight in fried chicken." I pushed back a little from the dining room table and exhaled. "It was so delicious, Ellie. Everything was. Thanks so much."Ellie Iverson beamed at me from the other side of the table. "Good. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now maybe you'll come over more often."Next to his wife, Corey laughed and brought her hand up to his lips, turning it to press a kiss to the palm. "Nothing fires up my woman more than the thought of a single man living alone and going hungry. If she had her way, she'd feed all the bachelors on the team every night.""Hey." She swatted at him playfully. "That's not true. I just like to cook, and I love to see people enjoy what I've made.""Nothing wrong with that." I crumpled up my napkin. "I'm more than happy to enjoy it. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get over here. Moving down here and getting settled has taken me some time.""Well, now you know your way here. Don't be a stranger." She stood up and
LEO"Taylor, man." Corey finished the last bite of his third slice of pie. "That right there is some seriously fucked-up shit. It's like something you'd see in one of those Lifetime movies." He darted a glance to his wife and then back to me. "Not that I've ever seen any of them. But I hear things.""Yeah, well, I'd trade it in for some plain old boring any time, as long as that came along with Quinn." I forked up a bite of my first slice of pie. Talking had kept me from eating as fast as Corey had. "But it's out of my hands." "For now it is." Ellie reached over to lay her hand on my arm. "But ...have you thought about what comes next?" "Sometimes that's all I can think about." I licked a crumb of crust from my lip. "As long as we were deep in the season, I could push it to the background. But I've got too much time right now, and I'm going out of my mind." Laying down my fork, I sat back. "Which makes me feel like shit, because I'm basically waiting out my friend's death. When I
QUINNWinter used to be my favorite time at the shore. Ocean City was nearly a ghost town during December, compared to how it was in the middle of summer; the locals were there, but thanks to the biting cold and damp air, most of us stayed indoors unless it was absolutely necessary. I loved having the beach to myself, or just about, when my parents and I would come down before Christmas. The ocean seemed wilder, loud and forbidding, the sand was blown into peaks and valleys, and I often found shells I didn't at other times of the year. But this year, the creeping gray of each new dawn felt threatening instead of comforting. It seemed that death drew nearer every hour, no matter how much I tried to ignore it. I'd fought against the sense of impending doom by going absolutely crazy with my Christmas decorating; we had a huge tree in the great room, and then I'd also bought a smaller artificial one for Nate's room. He didn't venture beyond his bed anymore, but he'd smiled faintly when
QUINNAfter that, we began to measure time in days and hours rather than weeks. This season of the year particularly, there were landmarks: when we made it through first Christmas Eve and then Christmas, those were two milestones. Sheri was pathetically grateful to have one more holiday with her son, even if he was asleep most of it, and I didn't begrudge her that sentiment in the least. My mother came down to the shore on Christmas Eve and stayed until the day after Christmas. She asked me if I needed her to hang around longer, but I shook my head. This was not her journey, not the way it was mine. Leo called two days after Christmas. He was at home in Eatonboro, and he wanted to know if he should come down. I hesitated. "You can if you want, Leo," I replied carefully. "But Nate ...he might not wake up while you're here. I hate for you to drive down and not get to talk to him.""It wouldn't be for Nate." His voice was rough with emotion. "I already said good-bye to him.""You
LEONate had planned his own funeral. Quinn told me that he'd actually had parts of it figured out since high school. That didn't surprise me. Nate had said once that he'd always known his life expectancy wasn't very long, and death had hovered near him time and again as we all grew up. We gathered in the church his family had attended for years on a cold afternoon in mid-January. I sat in a pew with my parents, my brothers Simon and Danny, and Simon's girlfriend Justine, two rows behind the front pew where Quinn and Carrie had joined Mark and Sheri. The church wasn't even near full, and I couldn't help comparing the turnout here with that at Matt's service last year. That day, the church had been so full, they'd had to stream the service outside to the people who couldn't get in, and his grandparents' house had been crowded afterward for the repast. It made me unreasonably angry; Nate had fought with everything he had to hold onto life, and Matt had thrown his away with both hands.
LEOThe repast after the funeral was at my parents' house. Mark and Sheri weren't up to hosting it, and although Carrie had offered, my mom had convinced them to let her handle it, saying she was going to enlist my brothers and me to do most of the work. So once I got home, I found myself laying out trays, setting up a beverage station and directing strangers to the bathrooms. Simon came in, carrying a huge tub of ice, followed by Danny with two hot pans of lasagna. "Where's Justine? If she's going to be part of the family, shouldn't she have to do her share of the work?" Danny eased the food onto hot pads and glanced over his shoulder at our brother. "I mean, if not, what's the benefit in having her?""Dude, the benefits are manifold." Simon smirked and chucked at cube of ice at Danny. "I'm not giving you details, because I'm a gentleman and shit, but let's just say she needs to rest up. Save her strength for the important stuff she has to do.""And number one on that list of s
LEOQuinn sunk a little further into the sofa before she answered Zelda's question. "I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about it. When Nate was still here, it felt wrong to worry about what would happen after he ...wasn't. I mean, he was always trying to talk about it. He kept pushing me to think about a new job, or moving away from here. Somewhere." She glanced at me, a mixture of question and hesitancy in her eyes. I knew she was wondering what was going to happen next between us. Maybe she was waiting for me to say something, to make some kind of move. But fuck it all, I'd promised Nate I was going to give Quinn time and space. And even if I hadn't, there was no way I was going to come on to her at his funeral, when she still looked shell-shocked and wounded. I needed to get away from all this and let her heal a little bit. I had to think about what Nate had advised, now that it was more than just a hypothetical decision. It was no longer what I might do when Nate was dea
QUINNThe party was in full swing, with music blaring and the dance floor crowded. I was sitting on Leo's lap, with his arms circling my waist as we chatted with Zelda and Tucker. "Hey, did you see that?" Zelda nodded toward the crush of dancing couples. On the very edge, Gia was slow dancing with Tate Durham. She stared up into his face as he murmured to her, and I glanced back at Zelda with raised brows. "When did that happen?" I'd spent quite a bit of time lately with Zelda and Gia, who were both my bridesmaids, but Gia hadn't mentioned anything about Tate Durham. I didn't even realize she knew him, although thinking back, they must've met at Carolina, when we used to go see Leo and Matt."Got me. But they look mighty cozy.""She deserves a little happiness. And Tate's a good guy." Leo, who had been talking to Tucker about how brutal mini-camp had been this year, picked up on my last words. He followed my gaze to Gia and Tate and smirked. "Well, it's about time." "Hey.
QUINNThanks to the security team that we'd hired to keep the media and the curious public at bay, I could only barely see the people lining the perimeter of the roped-off section of the beach. I knew they were there, but it was okay; today of all days, I wanted to share all of my happiness with everyone and anyone. Behind me, the folding chairs that had been arranged on the portable wooden floor-and who knew they had such things!-were filled with our loved ones. We had quite a crowd, for what we'd both termed a small, intimate wedding, but then we were very blessed with both friends and family. My mother sat in the front row, flanked by Joe and Lisa on one side and Mark and Sheri on the other. Leo and I had dispensed with the silly idea of the bride's side and groom's side. We shared so many friends that making them choose which one of us to support would have been crazy. And our parents had decreed early on that they were all going to sit together, forming a united front. The
QUINNWe'd been waiting in the empty, echoing corridor outside the locker room for twenty minutes. The guard had kindly but firmly told us that we couldn't go any further, but after Ellie had cajoled him, he'd promised to give us any update he heard and to talk to the trainer about letting us in as soon as it was possible. People swooshed through the hall, to and fro, but none of them showed us the least bit interest. A couple of reporters straggled down, but a non-life-threatening injury to a second year player who was only just beginning to show his strength wasn't exactly breaking news. I tried not to be bitter about that, thinking of all the times the press had hounded us about stupid stuff since Leo had been in college. One of the journalists was live streaming the game on his phone, with the volume pumped. Apparently the Rebels had made the extra point after Leo's touchdown, but New York had come back to score ten points after that-a fast touch down and then a field goal. Th
QUINN"There's my boy!" Joe clapped his hands and whistled as the Rebels took the field for their first possession in the second half. We were up by two field goals, but with a team like New York, that wasn't quite a comfortable margin. "I told him we wanted to see him score today." Lisa nudged me. "Both times, it's happened when we weren't at the game. It's starting to give me a complex."I laughed. "I missed one of them, since it was on the road. So don't take it personally." Down on the field, the center snapped the ball into Gideon's hands. The quarterback stutter-stepped backwards, looking for an open receiver and then fired a pass downfield to a wide receiver, who caught the ball and took off. The crowd jumped to its collective feet, cheering him on. He made it to the twenty-eight-yard line before he was forced out of bounds by a New York player. We sat back down as the chains moved, and Joe patted my back. "This is going to be it, this next play. You watch. I've got a
QUINN"I never knew it got so cold down south." Lisa Taylor wrapped her scarf a little more securely around her face. "I'm glad I remembered my gloves."On the other side of me, her husband leaned over. "Well, it is December, Lisa. You can't expect beach weather. Virginia isn't that far south."I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. Leo's parents had been down here for the last three days, visiting on what Joe called a 'pre-wedding mini-vacation' and what Lisa referred to as 'Joe's attempt to keep me from killing people'. Although they never really argued, they sniped at each other all the time, which made it less than fun to be around them. Apparently, being the parents of the groom was almost as stressful as being the bride's family. Simon had called us last week, griping about the tensions between Justine's parents and his own."You've got to take them off my hands for a little while, Leo. Please, I'm begging you." Neither of us had ever heard Simon sound so desperate. "All of the
LEOThe past and present jumbled for a moment in my mind. I had a sudden flash of memory, the feel of those legs wrapped around my back as I sank down into her, the weight of her breasts in my hands, the taste of her ...it was all so vivid and so immediate that I gave myself a little pinch to make sure she was really here now, and that I wasn't in the middle of some psychedelic mind trip. Then she smiled at me and spoke, her voice low and teasing, and I knew this was real. "Are you going to say something, or are you going to just lay there gaping at me? You're kind of freaking me out. I'm starting to worry that you're second-guessing the whole forever thing.""Babe. Never." I sat up and crooked my finger. "Come here. I'd go to you, but I seem to have lost the feeling in my legs."Quinn took a few steps closer to me, just beyond my reach. "You know, I realized something while I was getting changed.""Oh, yeah? What's that?" My eyes were glued to her fingers playing with the hem of
LEOI let her body slide down mine until her feet hit the floor. Looping my arms around her waist, I held her to me. "Mia, I know we've still got things to work out. I want to keep at it. I don't want to bury our shit under a rug or pretend we're perfect. But I want to deal with all of it together. I want us to be together, and not just for now, not until we see if things are good. I want you to live with me here, in this house I picked out because I could see you all over it."Quinn rested her cheek against my chest. I felt her tears soaking into my shirt, and I could only hope and pray that they were the happy kind. Swallowing hard, I went on, laying everything on the line and going for broke. In the back of my mind, I heard the old Eatonboro High Eagles chant: Go big or go home."Mia Quinn." I dropped to my knees and held both of her hands tightly in mine. "I love you beyond my ability to express it. I've loved you for so long that I can't remember when my heart didn't beat for y
LEOThe last time Quinn had been in my house, I'd been in agony, wanting her and yet knowing the timing wasn't right yet. So as I led her up the steps and to my front door, I was determined to erase all the bad memories and replace them with only good ones.Before I turned the doorknob, I paused, gazing down at her. "The day I found this townhouse, I'd been looking at places all day. My mom was with me. Everyone had told me not to buy right away, in case I didn't last the season in Richmond or if I got traded or whatever, but I had a hunch. I knew I wanted to buy a place to live and not be just renting. I was ready for something permanent."She nodded, expectant. "I couldn't put my finger on why none of the houses seemed quite right. Then I realized it was because I couldn't see you in any of them. When I stood here for the first time, though, I turned around and looked at the neighborhood, the front lawn ...the view." I steered Quinn by the shoulders, pulling her back against me
QUINNBy the second half, Leo seemed to have found his rhythm. He caught several more passes and ran for a decent amount of yardage. When the clock hit all zeros, Richmond had won by ten points. I was ready to sprint down to the locker room, but Ellie caught my arm. "There's no rush, honey. Look." She pointed to the field, where the players were still milling around. "They'll be out there for a bit, doing some on-field interviews, and then they'll be in the locker room for a while before the post-game press conference. I doubt either Leo or Corey will be part of that today, but still-we don't want to be hanging out in the hallway until right before they come out. It's a mess. The press is there, and the jock junkies." She wrinkled her nose. "Okay." I sat down again. "So we just ...stay up here?""Yeah." Ellie lifted one shoulder. "Most of the wives take off and wait in the parking lot or meet their husbands at home. Corey and I have a tradition of meeting in the hall, so I don't