Paloma Williams.
"I love you," mom had told me when I was six. "And because I love you, our love will never let us be apart."I'd held on to those words, those few glimpses of happiness that I'd gotten from what was otherwise a trying childhood, a time before he'd upped and left, before she had decided to sacrifice me for her pills and before I had decided to devote myself with the faintest of hopes that she might one remember how much she cared for me.Those moments had faded away, nothing more than a disillusioned memory of a wonky child and as The detective's questions came, I found myself wondering if it could have happened differently."Paloma Williams,” detective Jim Burnes calls in his strong voice. "I assure you we'll find your mother, thank you for your co-operation."In that moment, Sal burst through the door, it had been quite a few hours since I'd informed him about my mother's call and he looked like he'd driven all the way here."Sal." I say eyeing his haggard look once over. "You look like crap."He looked worse than crap, his hair sas matted and uncombed, his eyes had dark circles underneath them and there was an unruly stubble jutting out of his chin, his demeanor radiated tiredness but I guess it came with the job of caring for her."I feel like crap." He groans. "What the hell are they saying Oma, has she been found?""No." I reply. "Give it a rest Sal, you look broken."He begins to cry, his head placed on my shoulders as he sobs, muttering unintelligible words, I make a call to Casey and send Sal to the apartment."Please if anything comes up." I tell the detective. "No matter how minute please give me a call."He nods sympathetically and I'm just about to leave when the door swings open and Orion comes breezing through."Paloma!" He calls and his eyes lands on me, he looks me once over and heaves a sigh of relief. "Someone posted about you being arrested, I had to come and check.""I'm fine." I tell him. "Go home.""You don't look fine." He says. "Were you mugged, are you ok?"Of all the crap I had to deal with, this one had my gears spinning."Can I crash at your place tonight?" I ask. "I know it's not ideal since we don't really like each other but just for tonight."He seems taken aback by the suddenness of it all."You know just forget I asked." I begin to rescind my words. "it's-""It's fine." He says. "You are my girlfriend after all."I don't know if it's the tiredness or stress causing lack of proper brain function but I swear I almost smile at his remark."Come on." he leads me on out to his sleek black Cadillac. "let's go."The drive was eerily silent and I could feel the gnawing of discomfort right up my spine as he continued to take sneaky glances at me."Are you going to pry or are just going to continue staring at me?""Would you give an appropriate answer to my questions?" He retorts."If it would keep the creepy stares off of me then maybe I would." I tell him."Fine." he says. "What were you doing at the cops.""Why?" I ask. "Do you have a thing for Cops are you parr of some secret crime syndicate?"I laughed at my own jokes and his eyebrows furrow in annoyance."Don't evade Paloma." he says. "Just answer me.""Whatever I was doing was personal and none of your business." I reply curtly."Yeah" he says deflated "I knew that's what you were gonna go with."He exhaled a silent breath and we continue the rest of the drive to his place in complete silence, he didn't even bother to look at me anymore, which I founder slightly more irritating.I'd expected less of a home and more of a soccer themed pig sty, but I was taken aback by his apartment, I didn't really think that I'd get over how clean and proper it looked, he must have had maids doing his stuff and chores for him."My home is your home." He says to me. "At least for tonight, snacks are in the fridge and there's a spare room you can crash in.""Yeah no problem." I say. "Thanks for this"There's a hint of smile on his lips as we part ways and part of me wonders what it was all about, but I'm too exhausted to look for anything rather than a warm plush bed.I awoke late at night, just a little after midnight to the sounds of muffled conversation and loud cries, my first thought spun towards a criminal upon investigating with a bat I found laying around I discover the noise is coming from His room.I creak his door to see him thrashing and yelling and even though his eyes are shut tightly there are teardrops cascading down the side of his face."No!" He yells. "Please I'm begging you, let her go, let her go!"His body spasms and he lets out a guttural cry just as my hands wrap around him."It's ok." I tell him, "shh, shh, it's nothing but a nightmare."I reach out to touch his face just as his eyes spring open, he grabs my hands reflexively and stares deeply into my eyes."Y-you w-were h-having a nightmare." I stutter "I-I just wanted to help, I should go."I felt myself turn red as I realized that there was a very semi naked Orion pressed to me, I made an attempt to extricate myself from him but his hands held me firmly in place."Stay." he says in a hoarse voice "I'm not doing anything, buy just please stay.""Orion." I begin."Please Paloma." He says. "Just stay."It was craziness what he expected of me, it was even crazier of me to oblige his request, his arms slowly curled around me and our bodies and heat synced together as we fell asleep in each other arms.I awoke again, this time to sunlight streaming down my face, and something hard digging into my back and as the realization of where I was and what was actually digging into my body all semblance of sleep vanished from my body."Oh my God." I yell and leap out of the bedOrion's eyes open drowsily, he seemed disoriented for awhile but as the situation dawned on him, discomfort aligns all over his features."We should-" he began"Never talk about this again!" I finish for him.He nods awkwardly and I back out of his room, I'm much in a hurry after that and although it was rude I leave without saying goodbye, I couldn't bare to face him just yet.I am disoriented and slightly dazed, but I still managed to meet up with Casey at the Cafe and I recount all the activities of the last night to her between the sips of piping hot coffee.I leave out the parts of Orion and the nightmare but Casey still has that look on her face."What?" I ask a bit confused"I don't like this," she says "the thought of you crashing at his place, I'd have gone out to a friend of mine, you really-""You'd think I'd sleep well knowing that I'd kicked you out of your apartment." I say hiking my brows up, "you do enough as it is, besides I'm fine, he'd be having his eggs for breakfast if he'd pulled any stunt.""But still-" she says, her face clearly showing that she didn't buy into my ideas"I'm fine." I reassure her. "I'm good."Her reply is caught in her throat and her looks reflect annoyance, she gives a lazy eye roll."Speak of the devil." she says simply.I turn so loudly I almost pop an artery and there he was walking towards me looking a bit dishevelled than usual."I'll see what he wants." I say to Casey."Hey." he says to me as we meet halfway. "I came to say sorry for last night, i didn't mean to-""Its fine." I reply"No it's not" he says looking uncomfortable, "and I owe you one, I'm-"He's cut off by the ringing of my phone."Hello." the detective's voice comes blasting through despite the annoying music in the background."Oma we've found her, your mother's here with us."I'm writing down details in a flash and I hurry back to Casey and ask that she gives this to Sal at my behest, I take a look at Orion and the plan clicks in my head."You just said you owe me one?" I ask. "Ready to pay it back?""Yeah,” he says."Good then get your car we're going on a little trip."Paloma WilliamsA strange sort of silence hung between us save for the heavy blaring of loud music blasting from the radio, his fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly only releasing to tap to the beat which I found slightly irritated, as it only has seemed to aggravate the tension."You said we would talk." I say finally breaking the thick tension between us. "So talk." "Hmm." He grunted and his hands gripped the steering wheel even tighter. "Say something." I demand. "Or you can drop me off.""No." He said begrudgingly. "I offered a ride, I'm not leaving you stranded in the middle of nowhere.""Then talk to me." I say exparsated. "I don't need this gruff and silent shit, I have plenty of my own crap to figure out.""Something's are better left unsaid." He said simply. "There are things you can't know, not yet.""And yet here I am!" I groan annoyed. "In a car with you going to see my druggie fucked up mother, your fucking crap must be ten times worse I'm sure."If he was affect
Paloma~Little things form the biggest memories and leave the biggest scars, things that will never leave us, never truly heal, never truly forgotten. Seeing my mom was one of those moments, everything threatened to burst, my hands clutched tightly around Sal's as the sobs threatened to escape me.She'd changed much since I'd last saw her, thinner, older and weathered with stress, she seemed but a hollow shell devoured from within, barely held together by fragments of life."Mom." I say in a soft tone, trying very hard to hide my disheartenment. "Mom."She stares at me but her glazed over look seems to go right through me. "Come Paloma." She says like a well memorized anthem. "Come give your mother a hug."My feet remain rooted to the ground even as Sal nudges me forward, with each step it feels like I'm accepting a reality that I want no part of.'No' my mind chants, "no no no".With each step my mind and my body rejected the phenomenon that stood before me, simply refused to accept
Paloma~The silence and heavy set tension could be cleaved in two with a big knife. I felt the sting of it more than anyone and I hoped for the sake of my fractured dignity it remained that nonsense didn't spew out from her."Can believe Sal?" She says.I guess it was too much to ask for, I shook silently praying for her to swallow the insanity that seemed to pour from her fractured thinking. "Shoulda known the motherfucker was up to something." She continues. "The bugger must be creeping up all over the place."I'd forgotten just how much she infuriated me and in a the short while that we'd spent together, she'd managed to remind me of just how much I couldn't stand her. "Yh." I say. "He must have gotten all the best views of your gutter stained panties when he was hauling your drunk ass home, because that's just the kind of man Sal is.""Yeah." She says completely oblivious of my comments. "We should have him reported.""For what?" I say louder. "Cleaning up your fucking mess all t
Paloma~It's alway weird when the girl in high school who was popular because she was hot and because every boy had seen her ass as a rite of passage called the young prissy virgin (which was me, I'm the young prissy virgin) a slut.Well that was what Elena Furbray called me for the entirety of high school and I did pride myself that I wasn't a suck-up like her, who clung to boys and their dicks. But it turns out that there might be a bit of slutty-ness in me. There was nothing else to quantify myself as I melted like putty to his kisses. I'm ashamed to say that if he hadn't stopped of his own accord I wouldn't have either. We said nothing apart from that didn't think we needed to as we fell back to sleep.I had gotten quite used to the warmth he provided when we slept, it was another shame I'd like to forget, I wanted to remember the beast who'd broken that girl's heart all over the sidewalk, but with the helpful, suspiciously silent guy next to me, the memories refused to rise to th
Paloma~The faint knock on the apartment door had me tingling with something I didn't dare admit to myself. It seemed kind of ridiculous for me to pace about amd yet it was the only thing keeping me sane.My hopes were dashed once again, twice it should have been him and twice it wasn't. I send the pizza guy away with a rather meagre tip even though it was clearly not his fault that Orion was a no-show. Hours seemed to pass by perceptively but the clock said he was only minutes late. Each moment sort of taunted me and under the lush and beautiful girl in the black lush dress, a sliver of my old self stared back in astonishment.The long wait finally won over any sort of niceties and excitement I'd dreamed up, it'd been foolish of me to believe that he'd-The sound of a light faint knock had whatever thought that I had wrenched out of me, my feet quickened as I opened the door.There he was, rocking off the casual look with faint illumination of the moon echoing away in his eyes, eyes
There's something about the simplicity and elegance of everything that blows me away."It's, it's-" I began, my breath hitching in my throatHis fingers curl about the small of my back and the vivid image of my torn dress resurfaces and I feel the redness entangled with my skin. "Come on." He whispers in my ear. "Your date has lingered on enough."He leads me on to the candle lit table. It felt ethereal being right there with him in the middle of the room under the surprisingly starry night."Hope you can keep a secret?" He says as we sit. "Cause this has to be one of my hideouts."He smiles at me, a genuine clean smile this time, it felt good to see him do that for me, made me feel something stir in me, something that broke the boundaries of the faux pretence we had going on."Tell me something about yourself." He says digging into the chicken in front of him. "Apart from the crap."My eyes narrowed and he raised his hands in mock surrender, but yet I obliged him. "I like the color
It's been days since the incident with the 'crazy ex' as Casey and I had dubbed it and there wasn't a glimpse of him around, I'd gone out of my way to see him, even to his soccer game which was saying a lot considering I cared little to nothing for the sport, but it would seem that even then he'd gone out of his way to avoid me, disappearing with crowd before I could even get the chance to talk to him.Casey had been livid at first, at girl for being an 'obsessive bitch' her words not mine and at him for abandoning ne right after, it would be impossible for me recount some of the PG-79 words that she'd used on him, but nevertheless she passed on her usual message. Be careful, it irked me that she thought so little of him and even more so that his actions were proving her right.As for me, I'd been left slightly abused and confused and extremely bruised to my ego, the fact that he'd avoided me for so long only seemed to worse whatever feelings of dissatisfaction and doubt that I had to
Casey ended up being the hyper one among the both of us. After the incident at the mall with nude girl 101, the party seemed to be all that she could talk about, Strange how her eyes took on a mischievous glint whenever she talked about it, but I had to play the part and agree with her, wouldn't want my best chance of survival slipping away.There was little I could do too save for school, I tried to be nonchalant and not so hyper, it seemed crazy that there was this budding need and feeling that I needed to impress a man who'd be comfortable ignoring, the more I thought of it, the less I felt alright, It made feel less and I didn't really want to anymore."Case." I tell her on the night of the party. "I don't really think I'm in the mood for this anymore, maybe we should stay home?"She looked at me like I'd lost my mind, "I didn't spend all day planning to rub my pretty self all over some rich kid." She tells me. "And so help me God if you don't put on this fucking dress and start
Marcus MatthewsThe pen swirls between my fingers coming to rest between my index and thumb in rapid succession, One might say I was bored, but in reality, it was all I could do to still myself as the thoughts ran their wild course through my mind. My fingers jerk each time I think of Orion and the gun.“Take care of him” My brother Dane had requested simply.Giving him a 44 magnum pistol had not been part of what he requested and I’m pretty sure he’d have my balls on a stick flying high over his pool-house if he found out, but then again the crazed look in his eyes had been something I’d recongized. It was the same fire that had been in Dane’s eyes for Miranda all those years ago before he became a money conscious prick.The door bursts open as I oblige myself to a taste of scotch, and a burly looking guard I frankly don’t remember hiring walks in.“Sir,” he says simply waiting for my signal before he continues, I raise my glass to him and he steps back “The quarry has arrived and he
Paloma“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Casey asks for the billionth time that morning “I could as well just tell my parents to come at a later date or we could-"“It’s fine Casey” I reassure her again. “Besides you haven’t seen them in God knows how long, it would be selfish of me to let you pass up the opportunity.”“But-” she opens her mouth to raise another argument.My hands are faster and I raise it to silence her.“Enough Casey” I say, blowing my sweaty hair out of my face as I haul my suitcase from my room “I swear if you ask me one more time I’ll shove this suitcase so far up your arse you’ll sneeze bra, if you really want to help, then help me bring the luggage to the door.”She smiles and obliges me and I heave a breath as she takes the box off my hands.“It’s a two week stay,” she says huffing “Why do you need so much and how do you even have so much stuff, are you moving?”“Its stuff I need” I tell her “Just help me get it to the door would you.” Certain strings of exp
OrionIt had been a week since she was discharged and still my fingers has not learnt to uncoil the gun, I wonder how she will react if she found that I had been sleeping right outside her apartment with a revolver in my hands like some crazed paw patrol squad. I counted down the time until Casey’s parents would arrive, then she would have to stay with me for awhile and then maybe I’d finally get some shut-eye.It has been quite unmemorable this past week with some days leaving a bitter taste trailing down my throat like when I had to grovel back to join the team, the all too enthusiastic glint in the coach’s eyes made me want to vomit. I hated that he got to win like that but in the end I’d grovel before a thousand worlds if it will keep her safe.The night was awfully quiet save for the occasional hooting of the owl and the constant ticking of my watch, I should sleep even if it’s a little but I cannot bring myself to do so, even if she has begun to notice it, there’s too much on my
PalomaA string of expletives escapes from my lips and he winced, with a strength I did not know I possess I leap from the confines of my bed and rushed headfirst towards him, my fists raised high up in the air, he did not stop me but he sure did not expect as my arms wraps around him, crushing myself into his chest.“Thought you weren’t coming back.” I whisper into him, “why the fuck didn’t you come back, you had left, I could not-”In that moment he lifts my face up placing a deep kiss on my lips and silencing me, it was right, something I was hoping for, like an addictive drug that I had gone too fucking long without, it was relief, we finally break away from our kiss, his hands still cupping my face as we stare into the endlessness of each other, he opens his mouth to say something but a deep clearing of someone’s throat kills off whatever words were to come out.“Orion in love.” A deep voice says from behind him. “Never thought I’d see it come, your father must be absolutely livi
PalomaWe have lived almost everywhere before, from shanty houses to trailer parks, things kind of got awry when dad left and having little next to nothing.Didn't seem to help matters. I vaguely remember her now but for all the mystical things in the world, things didn’t come close to Mama Lupé.It was a dark time for me with dad gone, I was nine and Mom’s habit of drugs and drinking had begun to become less of a hobby and more of a daily routine, it was expected that without a job that we would be kicked out and the landlord had been lenient enough, mom was not picking up her act and soon the need for money had us out on our backs and into the streets.This was perfect scene for Mom anyway and I only remember him as Luca but he was one of the worst moments of my life but still I had nowhere to go, stuck in a trailer park with Mom’s dealer and new love interest, it was in the next trailer I met one of the most interesting women.Her skin was what drew me to her in the first place, I’
Chapter Twenty SevenOrionFocus on her smile.Focus on her smile.Focus on her smile.My eyes betray me once again and my gaze drifts over her, I wince annoyance and a gain the cloud of annoyance falls so much so that her voice seems far off, drifting off with the cold air that blew from the air conditioning."Orion,” she calls to me. “You seem off, I'm fine you know, you really don't have to-"She stops when she catches my gaze and for a moment our eyes linger telling the truths that our lips were afraid to say, I knew her enough to know when she put up the fake facade, that show of strength when when really it was all jelly underneath the iron facade, it didn't make feel better, it made me feel worse and I feel her cold hands against mine, she notices my looks and squeezes my hand, looking up to the ceiling, she blows a breath."Fine, it's stupid to say I'm fine," she says. “Any idiot can see I'm not fine, is it your fault? Could this have been avoided? Maybe.” I grunt interruptin
Chapter Twenty sixOrionIt keeps replaying on and on in my head, one minute she's screaming my name,the next she's bleeding away from a horrible gash in her head, I shake in fear because a strange part of me keeps telling me that's it's my fault and another part agrees with it.I stare at my bloodstained clothes, stained with her blood, my hands are trembling shivering with heavy emotions, a whole lot of anger is embedded inside of me, some of it is towards myself and the other I really do not know who to direct it at, I want to hit something and scream till I lose my voice, instead I sit all too calmly in the emergency room praying she turns out fine.I have formed up a rhythmic motion of simultaneously twiddling my fingers and shaking my legs, I do not remember how long since I've been this nervous or if I ever have been like this, my mind is constantly screaming the fuck at me to do something but I'm helpless and I sure as fuck hate this feeling.I should have been there, insisted
Paloma-I touch the gash across my head, my hands comes streaked with red and the faint metallic smell of my blood sickens me slightly, my ears ring and my assailant fades away from my vision, retreating faster in the shadows of the coming night.To say it smarts when I move is not explanation enough, every step I take is pure agony and I my ribs scream in agony as I move the side where he'd barreled into me, my vision was fading and the lights were becoming woozy, I had to move, if I didn't Orion would not find me, I'd bleed out in a dirty alley and like hell was I going that happen.Muscles screaming at me to stop and still I move forward, dragging my all to tired body one inch at a time, the seconds ticked by agonizingly slow and yet it was all it could hold onto to keep conscious, one inch at a time and the I could feel my dress caked with dust, that wasn't my problem anyways up ahead I saw Orion glance at his phone, I wasn't going to make it at least not before he drove off, I f
PalomaI slither into the house an exhausted mess and I meet Casey too in the same frazzled state with her perfect hair splayed everywhere and little bits of it coming down to fall over her tired and gaunt face."I take it you had no sleep," she says to me yawning for further effect. "I think they're on steroids y'know, how could anyone have such a sex drive, even the quickies aren't as quick enough, fuck I'm sore, I need me some caffeine."I should have laughed but God knows I only had about as much energy to keep the bland look on my face the way it was."I take it you don't want to sleep?" I ask quizzically. “Are you guys on a marathon or something? When next I see your boyfriend-""Whoa," she cries, raising her hands to stop me before I could say anything else. "He's not my boyfriend, we're banging a lot but that's just what it is, banging. And by the way I have a paper due really soon so I need to be up.""How soon?" I ask."In about four hours, if life goes on like this I might