JOANABE POV
**KNOCK**KNOCK**
"Happy sixteenth birthday Joanabe! Make a wish!" Said Cheryl, standing in front of our door while holding a white chocolate cake and of course with a note wishing happy birthday to me.
Is it really supposed to be happy for me?
Funny it is, it's exactly the same after 5 years.
~Five years earlier
**KNOCK**KNOCK**
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANABE! MAKE A WISH!" Cheryl said happily as I open the door for her wondering if it was my dad. Sadly, it was my friend that's so excited about celebrating my birthday.
"Cher, you know my birthday is next week," I said to her sadly, I do not want to kill her joy but I just want to remind her that it is not yet my birthday.
*MY BIRTHDAY IS THE DAY I SHOULD BE CELEBRATING ABOUT, IT IS THE DAY WHEN THIS TRASH WAS BORN."*
~~~~Present
Sigh...
"Joanabe? What's with your deep thoughts?"
"Hey, Joanabe, blow your cake before flies can eat this cake." Cheryl pouted. She is being impatient.
"Cheryl.."
"Cheryl my birthday is next week, it is not supposed to be celebrated. Blah! Blah! With you excuse Joanabe." She continued before I could even say those words to her. I stiffen in my position.
I chuckle to her.
She wonders into my face.
"Let me in, Jaonabe! Are you just going to stand there?" Cheryl shove me away to get inside in our house, my eyes snob at her.
"Welcome, Cheryl!" My mom greeted her while Cheryl is busy putting the cake on the table.
"Hello, Mrs. Chevrolet. I am here to celebrate Joanabe's birthday!" She said happily, good for her. I mean, how am I suppose to feel?
My mom smile at me.
"Happy birthday Joanabe."
I am astonished. I couldn't seem to react to her words then again mom made me feel at ease.
"Let's eat up the cake." My mom said. She moves around in the kitchen preparing the table for us.
"Let me help, Mrs. Chevrolet," Cheryl said, running into the kitchen to help mom.
"Don't help us Joanabe, let us be. It's your day!" I rolled my eyes when Cheryl said that to me.
"Mom! I have something to get in my room." I told them while they are still busy in the kitchen.
I headed to my room and open the drawer of my table.
The mint green handkerchief greeted me first, I smiled as I get it out of my drawer.
I hold onto it tighter and place it in my chest.
*IT IS BEEN FIVE YEARS BILLY. WHEN WILL I MEET YOU AGAIN?*
Fate only knows about this.
I am certain that I will meet him again.
Is he still the same? Does he remember me? Is he the person I know who gave me warmth aside from my mother and friend Cheryl?
There are so many questions running into my mind. I look forward to seeing the person who treats me kindly which makes me feel important.
I sigh heavily to ease my heart inside my chest that's pounding loud for my thoughts with him.
I'm missing him--
I miss Billy.
Those ocean blue eyes make me drown in his emotions, not to the ocean.
I folded the handkerchief neatly, I've been handling it with care because I care for the person who gave it to me. I smiled at my thoughts on my head.
My hand closed the door in my room and--
GASP!
"Hey, let's go together to the dining area." Cheryl's surprise me of her sudden appearance after I closed the door of my room.
"Don't scare me, Cheryl." I glared at her.
"Woah! Calm down! I didn't mean to scare you or something." Cheryl said in defense, raising both of her hands in the air, surrendering.
I pinch her armpit.
"Ouch! What was that for?" She charges towards me and I dodge her, we ended up laughing and running to the dining area.
After eating the delicious foods that Mom and Cheryl prepared for me.
I feel grateful for them standing beside me after all these years.
"Cheryl, do you want to stay the night?" I offered Cheryl if she could sleepover, but she smiles at me sadly. Her parents probably won't allow her.
"I-i understand," I said to her lowly.
"Thank you Joanabe. I had fun." Cheryl pull me into an embrace, and she patted my back as usual.
"Take care, go home safe," I said to her, letting her go.
"I will." She smiled at me assuring that she will return to her home safe.
I watched Cheryl walked away from our home as her shadows fade in the darkness and her footsteps on the ground.
*WHAT A DAY!*
My time in school is okay nothing seems crazy to happen.
I joined the music club and it actually helps me a lot of building my confidence because of their recital every school year.
The usual I invited my mom and Cheryl to our recital this year.
I know my mom sent an invitation to my dad secretly. Hoping that he will attend one of my recitals but sadly he hasn't shown up.
*CREAK*
I headed to my mom's room, she's fast asleep. She must be tired of working for the whole day. I pull her blanket and wrap it silently to her and kiss her forehead wishing to her a goodnight sleep.
"Good night Mom." I exited to her room and silently closing the door.
Walking in my room is one of the best things to do in a day. That means I can finally take my time alone-- for myself.
Entering my room is also entering in my comfort zone. I look in the mirror beside the door.
*YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A LOT EVER SINCE THAT DAY JOANABE EXCEPT FOR YOUR HEIGHT*
My height is really tall for any girls of my age. Imagine being a five and seven inches tall girl. I can't imagine that it is not a bad thing in my genes. Guess, I won a height gene lottery.
Next week is my recital. I haven't thought of any songs to sing or to perform.
It's not that I am nervous, but I am anxious maybe? Isn't that the same thing!
Ugh! I groaned.
I scratch my scalp.
What am I thinking about the same thing?
What should I do?
Will dad finally show up this year?
Or maybe not.
I jumped in my bed and face the ceiling above me. It's dull, like me.
Sigh...
Dear me, how unlucky to be Joanabe.
Little did I know, I closed my eyes to drift to sleep.
*Joanabe! It's been a while since the last time I saw you.* A man standing in the fog said that to me calling me, luring me to take his extended hand to me.
I watch him from afar.
Despite being a silhouette, his eyes shine like the moon meets the ocean tides.
He reminds me of someone but I can't tell. His deep voice sounds so intriguing. It sounds so sad?
Is he seeking my comfort?
Is he dad?
*Joanabe! Come here! Joenabell!* He screamed at me while he slowly fades away along with the fog but his hands reach my face that covers my sight. It is darkness all in me.
UWAH!
I scream it was a dream. I am panting and sweating hard. My palm shivers-- no, my whole body shivers down to my spine from that dream.
What was it?
I checked on the time in my wall clock.
It's 3 a.m
Joenabell?
Who could it be?
THIRD PERSON POVIt's been a week after Joanabe's birthday after she dreamt that dream. She seats in quietly while the other students are busy chatting, vocalizing, and getting ready for their recital.Her thoughts can't help but dive deeper.That fog dream etched in her head that she cannot keep herself calm. It's intriguing her."UGH! THIS FEELING IS SO WEIRD!" Joanabe claimed, shaking her head, frustrated."You are weird, your running thoughts. You have a recital for today." Her mother said, sitting beside her in the backstage. She shot glares at her mother's comment.*WHO WAS THAT MAN IN MY DREAM?*Joanabe's mind keeps thinking about her dream, but her imaginations are interrupted by the sound of an opening door.**CREAK**She stares blankly at the person who gets inside in the preparation room."Hello students, are you all prepared for this year's recital?" Professor Melissa, the head of the music club, asked happily to the students, clapping her hands together with a confident s
JOANABE POV"You really forgot all about me, right, Joanabe?" The girl said in a snarling face, and her eyes are serious. Her shoulders are up high in her annoyance. Wow! She acts superior or popular or something--"Aren't you Shally Mae?" Kane said, pointing at her, looking quite shocked."Oh! How do you know?" Shally said happily as her face gleams while seeing his reaction to knowing her name."Nah! Saw one of your performance before in-." Kane said awkwardly as he stroke his nape. I can see he is getting uncomfortable."Ehem!" I cleared my throat, cutting their conversation. I did not like where it was heading."You and Shally Mae. Watch my performance today. I will come up to the stage to show you both I am not the Joanabe you knew five years ago." He crosses my hands at my chest level. One of the organizers calls for me, and I nod. "Catch you guys later," I said while patting Kane's broad shoulder.All the murmurs of the crowd are inaudible, and the lights were blinding as I pr
JOANABE POVIt's been three years I've lost contact with him, It's been thirty-six months I've been wanting to hear him, It's been twenty-six thousand two hundred eight hours I've been missing him, longing him. The person I've been seeking for is right on my phone talking to me like he did before.He loudly exhales that creates a vibration through my ears, "Hello, Joanabe?" Is this the day, He will ask me out?Is this finally the day he will say 'I miss you and I love you?'Is this it?~~~~~~"Joanabe?" he said to the seventeen years old of me while swinging his feet, sitting in the chair. "Knock, knock." I looked at his eyes with a questionable look in my face, and I gave him an awkward smile."Yes?""You are supposed to say who's there?" His eyes were locked in the dark blue skies.I looked up and met the moon on my face. "Who's there?""Joanabe." He plainly said to me.I raised my brow without turning my face to him. "Joanabe, who?""Joanabe, my prom girl tonight? I mean, my gir
JOANABE POVThe news that comes from his mouth is not what I wanted to hear from him. The word 'engage' is not for me. He did not say the words that I am expecting to hear.My eyes filled with tears are like candles that slowly melted away. I clenched my hand to hold back my will from slapping him.My blood boils in my veins as anger inside of me is slowly reaches my mind. My heart breaks into pieces while his warm hand touches mine. His words set cold water in my burning love for him. Now my heart is cold it is pitiful.Love sucks, love hurts----Love failed me.My sniffing nose clenches from his odor, his presence.I stand from my seat. I look into his blue eyes and my mouth coldly said, "Congratulations, you have a happy ending awaits you. I am sorry, I am not hungry. I should get going."Feet of mine start moving on their own aw
JOANABE POVMy heart just got stabbed by Kane Boucher in the restaurant, and now the knife is getting deeper by the sudden news that got strike on me.*MY BESTFRIEND IS MARRYING THE MAN I'VE BEEN WANTING FOR SO LONG.*I forced a laugh, "Pfft... AHAHAHA... Congratulations, Cheryl. Soon to be Mrs. Boucher.""Thank you. Your coming to my wedding, you are going to sing for me, okay?"She softly said to me through the phone."Yes, I-I will." I shutter under my breath while saying those words. I cannot imagine that things will end up like this. I did not know there was something between them. I thought that he is willing to wait for me, nor am I the only one who loves him?*WAS I REALLY THAT NAIVE TO BELIEVE SUCH A PROMISE?*I hang up the phone and throw it away from me. I send punches in my steering wheel. I kick in my pedal, and I just want to hurt myself physically as I am feeling the pain emotionally--mentally. I am drained, for today. My head is spinning not because I had alcohol, but
JOANABE POV"Joanabe."I feel someone shaking me."Joanabe! Get a grip on your life!" Shally Mae furiously said, holding my body forcefully."What were you thinking?" She sounds so worried, but I was thinking of Kane running to me, saying he was looking for me. What on earth, Joenabe? He is married. You can't have him, so you better stop it. Shally pinches my shoulder to make me gasp in surprise. I can't be mad. She wants to get me back on my feet. Her eyes look at me like they want to scold me.My eyes enlarge as I could not speak. I am too busy thinking about him. But Kane wasn't thinking about me, and now Shally is sending chills all over my body.I shrug and move Shally Mae out of my way."Joanabe!" Cheryl waved at me, smiling happily. I walk towards her, biting my lower lip, and said in response, "Hi! Cher, Congratulations to you and Kane.""Thank you so much. You look wonderful!" She hugs me, and I am not sure whether to hug her or not, but I patted her back in assurance."Thank
THIRD PERSON POV*BEEP**BEEP*Joanabe's eyes open slowly, and she scans through the room. She looks at her arms with dextrose attached. She heavily sighs when she turns her head to the right. There is a woman on her side, sleeping like a log. She shakes the sleeping body, and its response a hum. The woman stretches her body and looks at Joanabe sadly. Joanabe stretches her body. She positions herself in front of the woman beside her.A tear fall on her face as she says the word, "Mom."**SLAPS**Her mother's eyes reflect anger and scold her, "Joanabe! Why did you do it? How DARE you do it! You don't know what I feel. I was so worried about you. You didn't bother to contact me for months, and now I see you like this!" Joanabe cries and pleads to her Mom, "Mom! I am so sorry, please, forgive me. I do not know what to do anymore. I feel so useless. I feel o lonely. I've lost everything. Forgive me, Mom! Please! Please!"**SLAPS**This time the slap is strong for her face to withstand. H
THIRD PERSON POVIt's been two months since Joanabe passes away. Cheryl breastfeeding her two months old baby as she feels the pain in her nipples.**BITE**BITE**Joanabe, Joenabell rather, is busy biting her mother's nipples instead of drinking her milk.*WINE TASTE BETTER THAN YOUR MILK BLURGH! WHAT A SHAME CHERYL* Joanabe thinks while continuing her business."Baby? Do not like mom's milk? You've been biting my nipples since your first breastfeed," Cheryl looks at her daughter's blue eyes, carrying her close to her chest, and sends kisses to her daughter's cheek due to her adorableness. Joenabell lets go of her mother's breast and shake her head. She keeps swinging her little arms in her face. Cheryl is surprised by her daughter's response to her and thinks that her daughter understands what she was asking. *I MISS MY MOTHER. CHERYL SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MY MOTHER.* Joenabell suddenly cries, kicking, and moving from left to right in her mother's arms. "UWAHHH!!!""Oh, baby! Sorry,