I never thought this day would come.Maybe when I was a little girl, I had hoped that someday it would. But I never actually believed it. It feels like a dream, but I know it’s not because it’s even better than anything I could have dreamt up.I’m marrying Gabe Honors. In just a few moments, I’ll be wed to the love of my life.I’m beyond nervous, but also ready. I’ve spent the last twenty minutes looking at myself in the mirror, making sure that my hair and makeup look absolutely perfect for him.“Hey, it’s almost time,” Cora says, as she steps beside me. “You look perfect, Harper. Seriously, you look gorgeous. Gabe is going to melt.”I hope she’s right.“Well, let’s do this,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’m ready.”Just outside, my mom is standing there, holding my little nephew’s hand. He breaks away and runs up to give me a quick hug before she tells him to go take his seat. Mom looks almost more nervous than I am. She can’t keep her hands still and she’s tapping her t
This was a predictably terrible first date.I couldn't have been more pleased.I checked my watch and sighed, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom so I could go home and write everything down about our horrible date.Granted, he hadn't thrown up on me, no one had been mugged, my car was its original color, I didn't need a new haircut, and my shoes were still intact, so it wasn't going to make my list of Top Five Worst Dates Ever, but it was not going well.Which suited me just fine.First, he was late. He claimed parking trouble, but as I had found a spot in about thirty seconds and could see at least two spots from our table, I had a hard time believing that. I wouldn't have been as mad if he had just owned up to leaving late rather than making lame excuses.He then spent the entire time talking about nothing but his very important job as mail clerk for a very important legal firm. Apparently, he was absolutely indispensable to the company, despite the fact that he'd worked th
“Hey, I'm on my way,” I told my sister over the phone as I started the car engine. My ancient little Pontiac purred to life and I thanked my lucky stars. Some days she decided to drive like a dream, and on other days she was hell on wheels. Today would have been a terrible day for her not to start. There was no way I was walking back into that restaurant to get a jump start.“How was the date?” Rosie asked.“Awful,” I said, pulling out onto the main road. “It'll be great for readers. I really think they're going to eat this one up.”I could hear her moving around on her end of the phone. “You're the only person I know who gets more excited about bad dates than good ones,” she replied.“Are you moving stuff around again?” I asked, ignoring her statement.“No,” she answered defensively before sighing. “Yes. Fine. I'm moving the crib to the other side of the room. I think the draft from the window will make him cold.”I couldn't help but smile. She was so excited for her first-born child
“Kindling Dating?” I rounded on my sister as she put the cute onesie away into a closet full of onesies. “Did you really sign me up for Kindling Dating or was that just a way to get Mom off my back?”Rosie didn't answer right away. She took her time putting the new clothes into the closet and then turned to face me.“You really are signed up and you really do have a date,” she finally said. “If you want it. No pressure.”“No pressure?” I flopped into the rocking chair, nearly flinging myself right back out of it. “You told Mom. She's going to follow up on this until I marry the the poor guy!”Rosie frowned, her hand going to her swollen belly and pushing as the little boy inside of her kicked her like I wanted to do. “I thought it would be good for you. I thought you'd be happy.”“You signed me up for a dating service, Rosie,” I said, trying to calm myself by rocking. The motion was soothing, but I was still agitated. “One that costs money. There's a reason I stay on the free ones. I
“And so it is, Mr. Bathroom shall be forever memorialized for his unique ability to use a toilet as refuge from paying the bill. Ladies be warned; if you get picked up by a guy whose meal costs more than what he pays for rent, abort mission. Flee the scene. Leave before he comes back from hiding. At least today we know he gets to go back home to his mommy- let’s just all hope she preps him a little more before his next date.”My arms fell from the keyboard as I allowed them a momentary rest. This was going to make for a great post, I could already tell. Posts like these came effortlessly with the most challenging part being accurately recalling the extent of the disaster. Every little detail was required to paint the full picture of what I had dealt with, and my readers ate it up.As I was doing a final skim over the passage for any typos or grammatical errors, my phone buzzed obnoxiously on the table. I was usually good about not allowing my phone to distract me in the middle of writ
“So, what do you think, Cora?” Anticipation bubbled through my voice.“So good!” she paused, obviously re-reading a section. “I think it’s your best one yet to be honest!”I let out a grateful sigh. If my best friend Cora said a blog post was good, it was golden. She was the most honest and appreciated critic of my work.I had finished and posted my blog late last night and had woken to a barrage of comments. My readers were the reason I loved my work. It was always nice to wake up to great feedback after a long night. Their comments made all the bad dates worth it.“This is more hits than you’ve gotten in awhile, yeah?” she asked. I could hear her clicking around on her computer over the phone.“Yeah, I think so” I said, scrolling down the comments. I was glad to see such a positive response to the post. Cora was right, there were more comments and shares than I had received in awhile.“I guess Bathroom Dude was a big hit! Wait, hold on,” she said as there was a muffling noise from t
The computer screen glowed against the backdrop of the oncoming evening. The dark blue of the sky as night felt was soft and comforting like a blanket around a child. It was another warm night in Miami and the intense heat of the day had mellowed into a pleasant temperature and the humidity was actually comfortable. On a normal night, my computer screen became the only light in the room and I used it to get lost in my blog.However, this evening was different. On this particular evening I needed to research and make sure I was prepared for my date. I had gone deep into the conversation that my sister had begun. I was like a student studying over a textbook before a big test; I knew their conversation held valuable information, it was a matter of trying to dissect it and uncover his personality.The mask that Rosie had assumed while trying to imitate me was hilarious. I had already scanned their conversation several times and had paused frequently to laugh out loud. She either had no i
Here comes another great blog post, I thought, as I stood outside of the very nice restaurant and reevaluated my shoe choice. I frowned and hear Rosie's voice in my head. No, be nice. It might be great.Given my dating history, I wasn't expecting much. The best I could really hope for was that I wouldn’t get stuck with the bill like last time. If that happened at this restaurant, I’d have to go to the poor house. Dove’s was one of the nicest places in town and a two-person meal would be the same amount as a quarter of my rent.A well-dressed hostess greeted me as I entered. I was fairly sure that she made more as a waitress here than I did as a blogger.“I’m meeting someone, but I’m not sure if he’s here yet,” I explained, as I took off my sunglasses and put them in my purse. “I can just wait at the bar.”“Of course,” the woman said, as she turned and led me across the restaurant to a beautiful bar next to a giant window overlooking the ocean. “Enjoy your dinner.”She pulled the chair
I never thought this day would come.Maybe when I was a little girl, I had hoped that someday it would. But I never actually believed it. It feels like a dream, but I know it’s not because it’s even better than anything I could have dreamt up.I’m marrying Gabe Honors. In just a few moments, I’ll be wed to the love of my life.I’m beyond nervous, but also ready. I’ve spent the last twenty minutes looking at myself in the mirror, making sure that my hair and makeup look absolutely perfect for him.“Hey, it’s almost time,” Cora says, as she steps beside me. “You look perfect, Harper. Seriously, you look gorgeous. Gabe is going to melt.”I hope she’s right.“Well, let’s do this,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “I’m ready.”Just outside, my mom is standing there, holding my little nephew’s hand. He breaks away and runs up to give me a quick hug before she tells him to go take his seat. Mom looks almost more nervous than I am. She can’t keep her hands still and she’s tapping her t
The following week I finally sat down to prepare for my final blog post. My decision was made. It was time to say goodbye and pass the reigns onto a new owner. It made sense and it felt right.Gabe had told me to sleep on the decision, and for most of the week I had made my home at his house, which made sleeping really easy. But the truth was that it really hadn’t taken much deliberation; the blog seemed like a thing of the past, something that opened the door to new writing feats, and I was ready to walk through that door.During our time together I had allowed the blog to slip even further off my mind, which was entirely okay with me. I had checked in periodically and had found a quick selection for Worst Wednesday. But besides that, and for the first time in a long time, I hadn’t paid it much attention. It seemed that the blog and I had finally begun to outgrow each other. At one time it had been my baby, but now it was moving out, and Cora was the perfect guide.If there was anyth
I had been fairly sure that I would never see the inside of Gabe's house ever again, but now I was standing on the deck watching the ocean once more. Not that I was complaining, though. I was happy to be there. In fact, the view of the ocean with the sun overhead never looked so good.“I’m glad you came over today. We need to talk. I’m ready to work through this and make things right again. But first, we both have to come clean with each other,” Gabe said, leaning against the railing of his deck.“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” I agreed. My palms were sweating, but I felt calmer than I had in weeks.His surprise visit at the restaurant had happened just the night before and this was the first time we had really had a chance to hash things out. This conversation needed to happen. It had been a long time coming.“Where should we start?” he asked. The breeze from the ocean ruffled his dark hair.“I guess what I really don’t understand is why you hid it from me?” I asked, starting th
“So all of your readers think you’re out with Brian right now?” Cora asked.I nodded. “Yep, I’ve duped them all into thinking Brian is a real person that loves me just the way I should be loved. It’s too bad I had to make all that up, though, isn’t it.”“Whatever. I think it’s fine.” Cora just shrugged. “But I have to ask you an important question, Harper.”“What is it?” I asked, a little nervous.Cora turned to the side and set her jaw, making a serious face. “Do I look like a Brian to you?”I busted out laughing. Her goofy antics got me every time.“You know, you actually do!” I exclaimed. “You make a perfect Brian! Wow, I’m one lucky girl to be on a date with such a handsome man.”“Aw, thanks!” she said, as she turned back to face me and grinned. “If I talk like this does it make me sound like a Brian, too?”She lowered her voice as much as possible and crinkled her eyebrows together. I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face. The good kind of tears, though, not
I sat down at my computer and clicked on the Internet. It was always the first step in starting a new blog post and I could almost feel the writer’s block start to set in as a blank window popped up on the screen and began loading.It had been just over two months since the breakup and about a month and a half since I had introduced Brian.Brian was a tall guy with a toned body, dark hair and eyes bluer than an open sky on a summer’s day. He was funny, smart, a hard worker in his career as a physical trainer, a huge sports fan and… completely fake.I had decided to create Brian in order to appease my Mother and to use as a marketing tool for the blog. After my readers had obsessed over my relationship with Gabe, Brian was designed to be Gabe 2.0 and to carry the burden of a new and passionate relationship. And completely fabricating a fake relationship was much easier than actually getting consumed by one.Brian took me on elaborate dates to all the exciting places around town without
I took a break from watching my blog to make some belated dinner. I heated up some left over lasagna and made a milkshake with some of the ice cream still left in the fridge as post-breakup comfort food. I couldn’t help but make fun of myself and my current state of affairs. It felt only fitting to throw on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix.After about a half hour I heard the phone ring.Immediately my heart skipped a beat. I had posted my blog late at night and had done so purposefully to avoid an instant reaction from Rosie or my Mom. But with as late as it was, realistically they were the only ones that would be calling.I checked the caller I.D. on the phone before answering. It was Rosie, which was better than Mom. I took a deep breath and clicked to accept the call.“Hey, Rosie,” I attempted cheerfully.“Hey, Big Sis!” she exclaimed.“What are you doing up so late?” I asked.“I fell asleep kind of early, and then the baby woke me up. My sleep schedule is so crazy now, thi
Well, the time has come. Every beginning has an end, and my relationship has found its end. Two weeks ago, Mr. Perfect Match and I broke up and it is time for the corresponding blog post (because blogging about breakups is the best way to move on, right??)It’s not the typical kind of post I’m used to writing. My life is filled with many more bad dates than bad breakups, and maybe that’s a good thing. But it also means that I’m entering new territory without the right map to guide me. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have lovedI stopped writing and glared at the screen. I highlighted the last sentence and hit delete as if the force of my click would hurt the words as they left the page. Love. It was like a bad word, something I had been conditioned not to say. And Gabe deserved no exception, even if it would appease an old stupid cliché about breakups.After a few moments of contemplation I picked up again where I left off.Time is a weird thing. It has the a
The plane ride to Orlando only took less than an hour, but it felt like an eternity. I spent the entire trip trying to hide my sobs, but of course it was impossible. Luckily, I had sat in the window seat and was able to face away from everyone while I cried, but I still knew that people were looking at me. The older lady sitting next to me even asked if there was anything she could do to help. I responded with, “If you can make men honest, that would help.” She just laughed and said, “I don’t think there’s anything I can do about that one.”My makeup was ruined, my hair was a mess and the clothes I had on were a day old. Needless to say, I wasn’t looking like I was ready to hit the town when I crawled off of the plane. It didn’t matter, though. Cora didn’t care what I looked like. She wouldn’t judge me. That was why I had come to see her in the first place.I had only taken a few steps out of the front doors of the airport before I heard Cora calling out my name. I hadn’t even gotten
After storming out of Gabe’s office, I went back to the bedroom and got dressed as quickly as possible. I was teeming with emotion, but I didn’t want to let out a single sob. I could save that for later, when I could enjoy a pint if ice cream and a few days of binge watching my favorite TV show. But for now, I needed to keep it together and act tough.So once I was dressed, I gathered my makeup from his countertop in his bathroom and tossed everything into my overnight bag. To think, I was considering what it would be like to spend my life with the guy and now I was doing everything possible to speed up the process of leaving his house for good.I can’t believe this. I should have known that it would only be a matter of time before something like this would happen to me, I thought. Why did I fool myself into thinking I could actually meet a decent guy?I zipped up my bag and tossed it over my shoulder. Before leaving the bedroom, I took one last look at the bed, where the blankets wer