Chapter 1

Amara just finished college, with a course she never desired, but her parents do. Now, with tons of job opportunities knocking on her door, she didn’t know which knob is the best choice to twist.

Thinking a vacation would help, Amara went out of town and flew her way to the beautiful beaches of Mindoro, where she met Sancho – a lone resident of a secluded island near the beach resort she’s staying at. She had heard so many things about him from the townsmen, and most of them are atrocious comments.

Well, they’re not wrong. Upon stumbling on his private island after her jet ski run out of gas, she just found a revolver aimed between her eyes before she could even cry for help.

*****

”I heard you got a big offer abroad, Amara?” my father said, eyes never leaving the newspaper that’s practically covering his whole face as we sat together on the dining table that Monday morning for breakfast. “I think it’s a very good opportunity for you. Are you planning to grab it?”

My brow twitched a bit. Alfonso Navarro had always been very vocal of his dream for me to work in our family hospital for as long as I can remember. I was a fresh graduate, and just last week, I managed to pass the board exam, now eligible to be an official doctor.

I let my father continue. “I just want you to explore and gain more experiences before you take over in the hospital, Mara. I think that overseas offer would help.”

“What country did you received an offer from, darling?” my mother decided to intervene.

“Sa France po, Mom.”

“Really? That’s nice! I think your father’s right, you should go for it!” her voice dripping with mirth.

I sighed inwardly. This wouldn’t have been a hard decision for me if only my interest reside in this field. Pero hindi ko rin naman alam kung anong gusto ko sa buhay kaya nakikisabay na lang ako sa agos ng tadhana na ginawa ng mga magulang ko para sa akin. Since I was a kid, I’ve been told that medicine is the world I am destined to be in, kaya’t hindi na rin ako nagkainteres pa sa ibang bagay.

“I’ll think about it, Dad.” I said dismissively before sipping one last time from my mug and leaving my parents in the dining.

Umakyat ako sa kwarto para magshower. I have to meet a heart-broken friend around ten in the morning kaya’t nagpasya akong mag-ayos na ng sarili. Yesterday, I was up all night listening to Raia’s sobs over the phone as she narrated to me how she caught her ill-mannered of a jerk husband fucking a blonde girl on their kitchen island.

I was furious. I always knew that guy isn’t good enough for her but she’s my best friend so I had to swallow her stupid decision wholeheartedly cause it makes her happy. I kinda also knew they wouldn’t last long but I didn’t know it would be this fast. They haven’t even reach a one year mark into their marriage!

“Hindi ko pa nasasabi sa parents namin,” Raia lamented as we sat across each other inside a coffee shop where we decided to meet up. Tumikwas ang kilay ko.

“At kailan mo balak ipaalam sa kanila? And the annulment? Kailan sisimulan?” sunod sunod kong tanong at muntik ko nang maibuhos sa kanya ang inorder na iced coffee nang makita ko ang gulat na bumakas sa mukha niya. Oh no, I think I know where is this going!

“A-annulment?” she stuttered, clearly indicating it hasn’t crossed her mind and it wasn’t an option for her. Bahagya akong nairita.

“Alam mo Raia, bwiset kang babae ka!” I spat harshly at her. “How dare you bring that idiot into both of our lives?! And now that you have every reason in the world to kick him out and make our lives great again, you’re denying the chance? Ano, ha? Don’t tell me you’re considering to forgive him and give your already rotten relationship a chance because you’re living in the delusion that he’ll change?” I ranted angrily.

This wasn’t the first time. Kahit noong magjowa pa lang sila ay madalas na siyang nakakarinig ng ganito sa akin kasi madalas din siyang umiiyak dahil sa gago niyang asawa.

“Ilang beses na ba ‘to, ha? Hindi ka pa rin nagigising sa katotohanan na hindi nga siya magbabago! Bwiset nanggigigil ako sayo, gusto kitang sabunutan!” Napapadyak ako sa inis at kung hindi lang kami nasa public place ngayon ay baka ibinalibag ko na rin ang lamesa sa sobrang galit. Umirap ako nang nagsimula nanaman siyang umiyak.

“Hindi mo kasi ako naiintindihan kasi wala ka namang love-life, Mara!” she sobbed louder and I had to widened my eyes at her when I felt a few glances being thrown our way. Sana pala ay pinuntahan ko na lang siya sa pinagtataguan niya ngayon kung dito pa kami dadayo ng iskandalo.

“Ewan ko sayo! Wala naman akong magagawa diba kung ang trip mo sa buhay ay masaktan, malungkot at magsuffer forever kasi bobo ka at hindi ka marunong pumili ng asawa!”

Nakita kong kumuyom ang kamay niyang nakapatong sa lamesa habang nagtuloy tuloy naman ang agos ng luha niya. Bumuntong-hininga ako, medyo naguilty sa nabitawang mga salita.

“Ano bang plano mo?” I asked calmly. “Pagtatakpan mo siya sa parents niyo at aakto kang parang walang nangyari?” pinigilan kong magtaas ng boses this time.

“Hindi ko pa alam. He’s been calling and messaging me nonstop since last night but I haven’t responded. Gusto ko munang makapag-isip ng maayos.”

Umikot ang mga mata ko. “Clearly ay hindi ka nag-iisip ng maayos kasi gusto mo pang bumalik sa kanya.”

There was a long pause after that.

“Kailan ang start ng work mo sa hospital niyo?” Raia asked after a few moment of silence. I shrugged idly at her.

“My father found out I was offered to work in France and he wants me to take it.”

“Huh? Didn’t you said you’re not interested with the offer kaya nireject mo na?”

“Yup, I guess I’ll have to send another e***l to the hospital and tell them I was just joking around about the refusal.”

My friend snorted. “You’re twenty-six , Mara. Bakit ba hindi ka makapagdesisyon para sa sarili mo and for once, yung gusto mo naman ang sundin mo? You’re making other people happy with your decisions pero ikaw mismo hindi masaya sa ginagawa mo.”

“Hoy Raia,” muling umikot ang mga mata ko sa kanya. “I’m not one to take an advice from a martyr stupid housewife like you! Echosera ka, mas matigas pa ang ulo ma sakin no.”

“On the contrary, I’m not saying this as a ‘martyr stupid housewife’ but as a worried and caring best friend.” She protested.

Napailing ako bago nagpakawala ng malalim na buntong-hininga. “Yes, I’m not happy with my decisions. But as I told you, paano ko susundin kung anong gusto ko kung ako mismo walang idea about my personal interests in life? And even if I’m aware of it, I doubt I’ll have the freedom to do it so it is best I just follow the path that my parents had cemented for me.”

Malungkot na tinitigan ako ni Raia kaya’t sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. More than anyone else, she knew how much I hate being pitied.

“Your parents didn’t give you the chance to know what you really wanted. Maybe you should run away for a bit and explore. Like travel or something?” she suggested and it kinda sounds interesting to my ears.

“Travel? Do you think my Dad would let me?” I hated how my voice sounded hopeful rather than being sarcastic.

“Why not? You deserve a break, Amara Navarro. I think Tito Alfonzo isn’t that cruel naman to let you have fun for a bit since you’ve been focused on your studies for years, like what he wanted.”

A spark of hope bloomed inside me. I’ve been a very obedient and a good daughter my whole life so it would be just fair I ask for a reward, right?

“Say he agreed, where do you think is the best place for me to explore?”

My friend’s face lit up quickly. “Out of the country or out of town?”

“I haven’t been abroad without a company so I’d rather travel out of town.”

“Right! Why don’t you go for Bora?”

My face immediately turned sour. “Boracay talaga, Raia? I wanted it somewhere peaceful and quiet and Bora is out of the option. Do you realize how crowded that place is?”

“Well if you want to be somewhere secluded, Bicol would be nice. Or sa Mindoro! I’ve been there once and the white beaches in Puerto Galera is astonishing. Hindi rin crowded ang place.”

Napatango ako. “I’ll do my research once I got my father’s approval regarding this matter. Anyway, do you have somewhere you wanna go in to? Sulitin mo na habang free at unemployed pa ako.”

Raia laughed softly, her eyes still a bit puffy from all the crying she did earlier. “Wala naman, ikaw ba?”

“Yes, in my bed.”

We parted ways after that.

I spent the rest of the day in my room, creating scenarios and speeches in my head and calculating the perfect timing to tell my father about my vacation plan. My parents usually finish their shift at five then we’ll have dinner at seven. Maybe I’ll tell them once we’re almost finish eating so just in case it doesn’t go my way, I wouldn’t have to ruin the meal.

When a knock on my door resounded, I already knew it was Manang Lydia coming to remind me for dinner. Mabilis akong tumayo mula sa kama at inayos ang medyo magulong buhok.

“Pababa na po!” I shouted before I heard her retreating footsteps. I draw in a deep breath as I finally pushed to my feet and headed down towards the dining area. My mom was already in there kasama ang nakababata kong kapatid. My father’s seat is still empty.

“Ate! How’s your day?” my brother asked with full enthusiasm. Hindi ko napigilang mapangiti sa tanong niya. Amadeus is adopted and I’m six years older than him. He’s a very sweet and intelligent kid kaya’t magkasundo kami sa lahat ng bagay.

“Fine. I went out on a date with Raia. How’s school?” I kissed our mother’s cheek before I pull the chair beside Amadeus and settled myself on the seat.

“Kinda busy with research. Magwowork ka na ba next week?”

Matipid lang akong ngumiti sa kanya. When our father finally arrived in the dining, nagsimula na kaming kumain. It’s the usual scene in the table. Exchanging of work related conversations, my mother asking how our day went, and all that stuff which made me feel like I’m in the middle of a job interview rather than eating a normal meal at home.

Nang mapansin kong patapos nang kumain ang lahat, I decided to finally break my thoughts into them. Tumikhim ako at mabilis na nakuha ang atensiyon ni Dad.

“Do you have anything to say, Amara?” his brow quirked a bit as his face remained stoic. He always look critical, na feeling ko lahat ng galaw ko ay inoobserbahan niya at palihim niyang jinajudge. When I asked my brother if he could also feel the pressure from our dad, he only gave me a weird look as if may mali sa nasabi ko.

“W-well, about work…uhm,” I swallowed hardly, “I’m wondering if I could postpone it for a bit?” bahagya akong nagbaba ng tingin, hindi matagalan ang malamig na ekspreyon sa mukha ni Dad.

“What do you mean by that? Do you have any plans in mind, Mara?” he asked monotonously.

I inhaled deeply, trying to gather every fiber of braveness in my body and realizing that for once, this is something that I badly want and need. “I know you probably won’t approve of this but I still wanna try my luck and ask you if I can unwind and have a short vacation for a bit. Y-you see…I’m still kinda exhausted from school and I don’t think I’d function well at work if I won’t be able to heal from stress.”

I bit my lower lip before I continued. “I promise I’ll do my best at work after this! In fact I already sent an e***l to the hospital in France withdrawing back my rejection.” My eyes widened realizing what I just said. “I’m s-sorry, I umh…actually I already rejected the offer but since you said it’ll be good for me, I took it back.”

An awkward silence enveloped the table, in fact I think I could almost hear the crickets. My eyes remained on my lap, afraid to look at my father’s reaction. I didn’t have to worry about my Mom. She’s stern and strict but compare to Dad, mas maluwag naman siya kaya alam kong papayagan niya ako about this.

A boisterous laugh broke the stretch of silence in the dining. Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin, muntik nang mahulog ang panga ko nang makitang si Dad ang tumatawa. His usual serious demeanor was nowhere in sight as I noticed the spark of amusement in his eyes as he stared at me from across the table. Bahagya pang yumuyugyog ang balikat nito.

“Why do you seem so nervous and what made you think I wouldn’t approve of this favor? This one and only favor I’ve ever received from you for as long as I can remember?” Alfonzo Navarro shook his head, his lips now curved into a soft smile. “And you rejected the offer from France? Why?”

“Well uh….I’m actually not interested,” I smiled apologetically at him.

“Then don’t bother about it hija. Let’s talk about this little vacation you’re planning. Do you want us to come along?”

Muling nanlaki ang mata ko. I can’t believe this is my Dad talking right now. I thought it would be hard for me to convince him about this. I was actually considering to escape and proceed with my plan anyway kung hindi niya ako papayagan. That’s how I badly wanted this!

“No, not really, Dad! I’d like to travel on my own.” Napatango tango ito.

“Do you already have a place in mind, darling?”

“I’m not planning to go out of the country, Mom. But I’m considering Mindoro. I heard from Raia that they have amazing beaches in there.”

“Good choice! Kailan mo balak umalis at gaano katagal ka roon?”

“I haven’t thought of that yet. Siguro next week po.”

“Just don’t forget to update us daily pagdating mo roon hija or else hindi ka na makakaulit pa.” Dad joked threateningly but I knew better. Of course he’s serious.