Chapter 4: Our First Kiss

"I want you to know that I'm trying, I'm trying to find the courage and the confidence to get through this and do what I feel is right, but it's hard. I think you know that it's hard and you're taking it easy on me, I do want you to know that I haven't forgotten what I did and l am so sorry about it."

 "It's okay, I understand more of why it happened. I know how hard it is to deal with your sexuality and you just need to find a time when you feel it is right to deal with it all. I think you are ready to move forward, but maybe not to officially come out and I understand that greatly" I tell him and he crosses his arms before sighing.

"Let's wait until Friday when I have more time to figure all of these emotions out," he says to me. I see the tenseness on his shoulders just like the first day, which tells me that I might've crossed the boundaries and said too much, so I quiet down and let him do what feels best for him.

"Okay," I say and he reaches over to wrap his arm around my shoulder, which sends the wonderful sparks throughout my whole body that I've never felt with anyone but him.

"Thank you for making this easy, I thought you would hate me after what I did. I would've hated someone if they did that to me, he says with a chuckle. What he said was like heaven to my ears that instantly calmed me down.

"If you were someone else that just did it to show your dominance, then yeah, I probably would've hated you"' I say with a chuckle and he nods with a small smile.

"All right, the break is almost up, so I have to get back to football practice, but I will see you tomorrow, all right?" He says as he stands up and starts to make his way through the cars.

"Wait, practice isn't over? Why'd you come then?" I asked him because I thought he was just walking with Robert out here and his car was behind mine so he kept walking with me.

"Well, I didn't want you to be a third wheel with the lovebirds, so I came to keep you company," he told me as he walked backwards to look at me.

I chuckle. "You know, it's okay to say that you wanted to see me, I won't make fun of you for it." He gives me a playful look. "Fine, I wanted to see you."

"Wow, what a loser," I say with an obvious playful tone and he notices it before walking over to me and hitting me lightly on the back of the head to continue the playfulness we were doing.

I see his smile drop slightly as he starts to walk away again and I realize that what I'm about to do is something that I would never do, but I think making an exception for him is the right thing to do.

"Hey, before you go, can you help me with something first?" I ask him as I stand up fully and make my way to the back of my car where I know no one would be able to see us from that point. He gives me a confused look before he follows me to behind my car and once he's there standing in front of me, I feel the butterflies in my stomach ache even more than before because he's right there. I know I probably look like an idiot as I stand there and stare at him, so I lean forward to grab at his jersey.

Once I have the fabric locked in my hands, I pull him down to my height and press our lips together, which is like the sparks that I was feeling earlier are heightened 1,000 times and it's like fireworks just went off. He sets his hand on my waist while I let my hands slide up his chest to rest on his neck and shoulders.

I have to force myself to pull away because l don't want him to get in trouble for being late back to practice. He bites his lip as he looks at me and I can see that his eyes are now that electric blue colour that confuses the hell out of me because how do his eyes just change colour?

I clear my throat as I remove my hands from his body to take a step back. " Well, thanks for helping me out with that."

He chuckles before taking the step that I had just taken to be right in front of me again. His hands are on my waist again as he leans down to press a soft kiss to my forehead, immediately calming my nerves that I hadn't just done something very stupid.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispers before walking away. I make my way into my car and sit there for a few minutes to just walk through what I just did. If that went wrong, then I could've severely messed up how he was doing with figuring out his sexuality.

Fortunately, I think it was perfect due to how he reacted and responded afterwards.

Jenny and I sit on the bleachers as the cold air rushes over our faces while the guys in tight, white pants run around with ball-shaped eyes while they follow the rules that I had no idea how to even understand. I had my arm wrapped around Jenny's shoulder since her hoodie

was thinner than she had expected since the cold was not what the weathermen had predicted for tonight.

I'm confused with myself because the first day in the parking lot I was scared for my life, but now, it's like I'm in love with this man. I can't understand how one person could change my mind so much to make me feel so unbelievably attracted to them.

I was only here for Archie because I hate sports so much. Don't tell Archie that, but I don't understand anything that was going on as I watched them pass the ball through their legs. I don't understand why they kicked it through the goal thing that just looked like a pitchfork missing one tong.

"I could fall asleep right now I told Jenny as I put my hands in my lap and set my head on her shoulder while the crowd cheered as one of the guys ran with the ball towards the pitchfork.

"Me too" she whispered, setting her head on top of my head. "thankfully, it's

is almost over."

I looked at the bright clock that was painted red, the school colour, with white LED numbers and letters for anyone within a three-mile radius to see. "It says three minutes, that could mean ten."

She laughed at me as she pulled her sleeves down to cover her hands which were now shaking due to the cold.

"Yeah, yeah, just be patient, dumbass."

Fifteen minutes later, we stood in front of the locker rooms, waiting for Robert and Archie to change and come out. I know that we won, but I don't know what the score even was. Jenny was Wrapped in my arms as she shivered against my chest.

I chuckled, tightening my arms around her to help her get even warmer. I looked up as I heard the locker room door open and I saw our two boys walking out with duffel bags hanging from their shoulders. Archie's hair was an absolute mess and he reeked of sweat and Axe cologne

.

"Hey," they said to us as they came closer. Robert gives me a grateful smile as I shift her into his arms where she can shiver against his chest instead of mine. As soon as she felt her boyfriend's arms, her smile widened and she snuggled against him.

"I'm never coming to another football

game" she whispers to him and I watch as he rubs his arms up and down her back with a small smile while he looks down at her.

"That's all right, I can deal with that" he

says with a soft smile.

Jenny cleared her throat, looking up at Archie. "Do you mind taking Henry home? I'll probably leave my car here until Monday so Robert can drive me home."

Archie looked over at me before nodding his head. "Yeah, I can take him home."

We all said bye to each other as Archie

Led the way to his matte black Lexus

that looked like the most expensive car I

had ever seen in all my life. Once he sees my shocked expression, he

laughs as he wraps his arm around my

shoulder. "You like it?" He asked.

"Uh, it looks super expensive and I'm shocked that you haven't told me about it. Don't most guys brag about their cars?" I ask him while he opens up the passenger side door for me to get in. The seats are of black leather that's so comfortable that I could even sleep here forever and there are buttons everywhere that make me want to push them, even though I know I

shouldn't.

Archie gets into the driver's seat before turning to me. "I'm not like most guys."

I nod my head as I buckle up while he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot. I put my hands in between my thighs to warm them up and when Archie notices that, he turns on the heat to blow directly on my face. I keep my eyes on the road as he speeds towards the way to my house that I had put into his phone so he would know where to go.

"I'm willing to act on how I'm feeling," he said as he sat back in his seat while we drove on a quiet back road with not too many cars passing us. I could tell he was driving slower than he usually does to either make me feel safe or have more time with me.

"What does that mean?"I ask him, wanting to know what that exactly entails for the both of us. I watch as he thinks for a minute or two about how to word his thought process before looking at me very briefly to look back at the road.

"It means I'm willing to try out the whole thing. I'm not ready to come out just yet, so we would have to be quiet about it if you're all right with that."

I nod at him, even though he can't see me in the darkness of his car. "Yeah, I'm more than all right with that. I just want to make sure you're comfortable in what we're doing."

"l am comfortable as long as we take it a bit slow and don't do too much too fast," he tells me and I'm kind of shocked because he seems like the type of guy who would want to rush into things until we got to a point where we can figure things out at a later date.

This way does make me the most comfortable though because I haven't gone that far with anyone and probably won't be ready until I have a real, strong connection with someone.

"Okay, that works for me," I tell him with a small smile as he speeds up a bit.

"Have... have you ever dated a guy before?" He asks me, even though I don't think he genuinely doesn't want to know in case I've done something too far with some guy that could make him jealous because I can tell that he's the jealous type.

"I've never dated a guy before, just made out with a few. I didn't have too much luck at my old school with relationships just because I focused more on dancing and gymnastics,"' I told him. "What about you?"

He shakes his head. "I've never dated a guy before but back in 7th grade, I kinda experimented with one boy and ever since then, I suppressed it because I saw how he got teased when he came out."

"You didn't deserve that, I'm so sorry. I wish you had a better first experience than that" I told him and he reached over with one hand to run his fingers through my hair on the back of my head. I put my head forward as he started to rub my neck while he drove with one hand on the bottom of the steering wheel.

"It's okay, I stayed strong and didn't push it away too much. Now, here we are"' he whispered, making my heart beat faster because it made me happy to know he wasn't as unhappy as I thought all those years. He still kept the part of him alive deep down because he knew that someone would come along to help bring it back out. I'm finally in love.