EleniWhen Dante kisses me, for a split second, I think about pulling away. The fear and anger of my encounter with Henry still courses under my skin. There’s so much to be scared about, enemies closing in from all angles.Dante bites my lip, and endorphins flood my system. This is why I’ve stayed. He makes me feel like no one ever has. Not because he knows how to touch me, but becauseI can melt into his arms, let everything go, and trust he’ll pick up the pieces afterward. I have nothing to fear with Dante.And he promised. So I’ll trust him.I throw my arms around his neck. “I want to listen tonight.”He sweeps me off my feet in a bridal carry. I yelp.“Shush,” he reprimands. “Tonight, you hear me, pet.”I bite my own lip as he jogs up the stairs. The heavy mantle of submission steals over me, crushing the remaining fears from my system.Dante veers into our bedroom and deposits me on the bed. “Do you particularly like these clothes?”I look down at the blouse and jeans I wore to di
DanteAfter El falls asleep, I sneak out of bed. Henry might not scare me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need to do anything about him. Just that she doesn’t need to worry about it.God, she’d kill me if I ever said that to her face.This is just a temporary measure, I promise myself as I change in a dark closet and leave the room. Just until she’s no longer pregnant.Yeah, that’d stop her from kicking my ass. I shut the bedroom door behind me with a sigh, then call Tony.He shows up twenty minutes later with Mikey in tow, both of them looking exhausted. I raise an eyebrow.“Teo needed an angel on his shoulder,” Tony says by way of explanation.“You call in a replacement team?” I ask.“You think I dropped out of school after kindergarten?” Tony replies.Mikey just nods and walks in with him. Without conferring, the three of us amble into my office and shut the door behind us. Only once I’ve poured everybody a drink and sat in the leather chair behind my desk do I begin explaining.“Wi
EleniThe next morning, my vibrating phone wakes me before my alarm. I shoot up in bed, immediately certain Dante snuck out, that he’s captured or bleeding out at Henry’s feet.He lays in bed next to me, his dark hair rumpled. As I watch, he rolls over to reveal a dent from the pillowcase in his cheek. I exhale slowly and pick up my phone.Mama’s calling. I glance at Dante one last time, then grab a robe and pad out into the hallway.“Hi, Mama,” I say.“I am very disappointed,” she says severely.I rub my eyes, check the time. It’s barely six-thirty. What could I have done already?“I told you I was going out to Staten Island,” I say.“Pah.” She huffs a breath. “You think I’m worried about that? No, zouzouni, I want to know why I just had to find out the date of your wedding from some woman”—she says the word like it’s poison—“showing up at the door to ask you about something called a save-the-date. Am I not your mama anymore?”“What?” I freeze at the top of the stairs. “We don’t have
DanteI walk up to a shuttered bodega. Pieces of the paper sign flap in the wind, declaring that I can get “sacks” and “dinks” inside. New York City flows around this abandoned piece of itself, not even glancing at it.Perfect.I slide into the alley beside it, unlock the chain on the back door, and step inside. Tony and Cal Duncan stand in the flickering light of the ex-backroom, now lined with knives, cattle prods, ropes, and any other torture instrument a Saint has come up with in the last decade.“I was wondering if you’d ever show your fine face.” Cal smiles. “I called you as soon as I heard.”“I had other business,” I answer crisply. “What did you catch?”“A tuna, if I do say so myself.”Tony rolls his eyes. “Brigadier. No sign of Fyodor, but the place was obviously important to them.”Someone grunts just past the thin door that separates us from the main room. I smile. Brigadier means decent information.“Who has him?” I ask.“One of my boys wanted first touch.” Cal grins. “Sim
EleniI walk out of Tandon, my hands sore from furiously typing for the last two hours, and blink in the sunlight. No sign of Dante. My stomach sinks.“Have you heard from him?” I ask Amando.He shakes his head. I reach for my phone.And a slick, black coupe pulls up in front of the school. The window buzzes down to reveal Dante inside. In unison, we sigh.“Wait, why were you worried?” I ask.He glances around. “I’ll explain later. You ready for our day?”I look at the tiny car, then at the guards.“They’ll follow behind.” Dante smiles. “Come on.”I’ve never been able to say no to that smile.***I don’t know what I expected when I asked to spend the day with Dante, but I didn’t expect this. It’s a little like the day I first visited the Tandon registrar. We wander the city, shopping aimlessly. Intentionally aimlessly, I realize, like Dante’s trying to create a path no one can follow. Though that sends cold fingers of worry up my spine, I try to just enjoy him. We eat a long, late lun
DanteDinner at Giancarlo’s is spectacular, as always, but I can’t think about anything other than the look on Eleni’s face when she asked me to tell her where to go. Who to be. I’ve seen that look a thousand times, on a thousand different women. Even on El, when I’ve pushed her to her limits in bed. Once upon a time, I thought it was all I wanted in a partner. To be submissive, pliant, able to fit into my world. Hell, I used to think that was what I wanted out of Eleni.But things have changed, she’s right. She’s just wrong about when. Everything changed the moment she told me why to get a gyro. Again when I took her to bed. A third time when I came back from being shot and discovered she’d whipped my crew into shape. Maybe I used to be a Dante who would’ve taken that open request for an answer and written my own will onto it. I can’t anymore. Not with her.We drive back to the house on Staten Island in silence. El’s still quiet as we walk inside, past the guards.“Go to the bedroom,
Eleni“BWAH! BWAH! BWAH!”The screaming alarm—alarms—rip me out of sleep far too early. I grope for the nearest one, which turns out to be my phone, and silence it before even opening my eyes. Another keeps whining somewhere else in the room, and I groan.Last night is a blur of strobe lights, penis-shaped candy, and mob wives dancing like drunk sorority girls. As much as I’m going to kill whoever set all these alarms, at least my no-drinking rule means it’s only regular awful, not hungover awful.Another groan answers mine, and I shoot upright.I’m—where the fuck am I? Big, soft bed. Early morning light in the window. It’s shaped like the Staten Island house, but the colors—pink walls, purple bedspread, rainbow throw pillows….The second groan issues from the floor again, and I glance over the edge. Gianna lies there, makeup smeared across her face and hair falling out of the updo she slaved over last night. She looks distinctly green.“Kill it,” she mumbles. “With fire.”I’m in her
DanteI stretch my sore knuckles on the little stage that holds the altar at St. Michael’s, a church I haven’t set foot inside since Mom died. As Dad used to say, church is for people who confess their sins, and Saints aren’t that goddamn stupid.But it seems like I am. Father Stefan’s gaze follows the movement of my hands and snags on my split, bruised knuckles. He frowns. I thank God they built this church with the organ so close to the front that he couldn’t nag me about them if he wanted to. He’d probably start with how many masses I’ve missed anyway.God hasn’t struck me with lighting yet, but Fyodor seems well on his way to trying, so I’ll take my chances.The doors open, and I jerk my head up, hoping for El. Fuck, I’ve missed her.No dice. Tony and Gianna enter, arm in arm. Tony wears the same deep purple suit I do, with the same sprig of greenish flowers pinned to his lapel, but he manages to look a little less uncomfortable. Gianna looks like death warmed over in a floor-leng
ChloeThe first few days after I learned that Mateo was no longer on this planet were a bit chaotic. Tony and his men had so much to do: cleaning up the mess, assigning the new positions each one of them would take when it came to protecting our family and the house, determining who would go back to dealing with the Saints’ businesses, and so on. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve managed to create a routine for myself and Ellie. It took me a while to process that I wouldn’t have to continue hiding or running away anymore, but eventually things just became… easier. It’s funny how easily and quickly humans get used to things. In the first few days, I was still scared to leave the house by myself, even with a couple of guards accompanying me, or Rocco taking me from place to place inside a bulletproof car. I would always watch over my shoulder, expecting someone to jump out of a bush or something and kidnap me–or worse–kill me.But Tony assured me he wouldn’t get rid of the security s
ChloeOur warm kiss turns into something more passionate as our hands begin to roam each other’s bodies. There are so many emotions bottled up inside us that it is hard to express them with words. Tony’s hands explore my body while he devours my mouth in a heated kiss, suffocating my moans. My head is still spinning from his confession that he loves me, and I can barely focus on what he’s doing. My distraction seems to catch his attention because he pulls away from me, his eyes studying my face carefully. “Is everything okay? We don’t need to do this if you don’t want to. I–”My lips are on his before he even finishes his sentence. Like hell I’d let him stop right now. I urge myself to be present, storing his confession for later, when I have time to dwell on it over and over without being interrupted. I wish I could’ve recorded it so I could listen to it whenever I need reassurance about how he feels about me.But this is Tony. I know he will shower me with affection and love whenev
ChloeAfter I welcome Tony home, I make sure to wake Ellie up so she can have dinner with us. She needs to eat something since she has been sleeping the whole afternoon, and she also needs to wake up now so she can get some sleep later. I’m not looking forward to staying up all night because she slept too much during the day.The three of us have dinner together as a family for the first time, and it just feels… right. Like how it’s always supposed to have been. Neither one of us brings up the elephant in the room. I’m sure we’ll have time to talk about it, but right now, I just want to enjoy this moment while I can. Watching Tony feed our daughter, playing with her, and getting her to laugh is just so adorable that my heart can barely take it.It’s a dream coming true right in front of my eyes.“Come on, baby. Let’s show Mommy how you’re a good girl who eats all her dinner,” he muses, making airplane sounds as he flies the spoon toward her gaping mouth.Ellie chuckles and opens wide
ChloeReuniting with Ellie and my mom felt overwhelming, although bittersweet. Even though I was beyond relieved and grateful to hold my daughter in my arms once more, my heart was shrinking by the minute, not knowing what Tony was up to.The Irish King’s bar I was brought to is surprisingly comfortable and welcoming. I was even more surprised when I found Cal playing with Ellie. The way she laughed at his exaggerated movements and jokes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this enchanted with another man before.After I settled down from the flight and kissed and hugged my family, Cal asked one of his employees from the bar to bring me something to eat. Mom and Ellie already had dinner since they arrived here earlier, and when the waitress returns with a tray filled with burgers, fries, and a chocolate milkshake, I almost let out a moan of pleasure.Only now have I realized how starving I am. I can’t even remember the last time I ate. So much has happened in the past twenty-four hours t
TonyMy vision turns red, and I clench my phone in my hand so hard that I hear it crack. “Send it to me. I’ll be on my way,” I inform him.Armando clears his throat, and I know he’s about to contradict me. “Shouldn’t we have a plan first, Boss? We have no idea what he’s been up to,” he wisely reminds me. I’m glad I have someone to make me see clearly now because all I can think of is putting a bullet hole through Mateo’s forehead and making sure he doesn’t take another breath in this world. “What do we know?” I ask, already starting the car.“They are in an abandoned warehouse outside the city. It’s not our territory, but that shouldn’t be a problem. No one really rules that part of town,” he explains firmly and professionally. “I have all men on hold, waiting for instructions on how we can best approach without being noticed.”“Do you think the cartel is waiting for us?” I have no fucking clue what Mateo was thinking when he invaded the safehouse to go after Chloe like that. It wa
TonyI warned Chloe not to even try and convince me of doing anything else other than going after Mateo and his men. I’d been doing my best to act cautiously, to consider every single possible outcome from this war, but after he ambushed Chloe at the safehouse, making her fight for her life, it left me blind with rage.My guilt didn’t help, either.I was so relieved when I found her on that dark street, wearing nothing but a robe covered in blood, that I could have cried when I held her in my arms. She felt so small, so vulnerable within my embrace that the monster dormant inside me snapped to life, and I simply couldn’t put this aside any longer. Even if I die, even if I don’t get to see her one last time, I will make sure to take Mateo down with me, so he never has the chance to lay a hand on my wife again. Or my daughter, for that matter.“Do I really have to go with Cal?” Chloe’s sweet voice asks from the bed, making me take my eyes off the phone and look at her. I promised her
Chloe“Listen,” Tony continues, still focused on the road. The police sirens get more and more distant as we drive away from the city, but I still don’t ask him where he is taking me. “I know you don’t want to think about it now, but I need to know what happened,” he requests in a gentle voice. I hear a hint of pain in it as well, but mostly, I can hear the guilt behind his words.I want to tell him none of this is his fault, but we’ll have time for that later. Right now, we just need to make sure no one else gets hurt, or worse, killed.I inhale sharply, steadying myself enough to share the recent events with him. I am strong, and I can do this, I tell myself. I’ve always told Tony I could handle it all, and even though I was scared as hell back there, I still managed to save myself.I can do this.“After you left, I spent a few more minutes in the office before I headed up to take a shower. I don’t think I was in there too long, but as soon as I stepped out, I heard the alarm go off
ChloeI should be dead.I was certain I’d be killed the moment I saw Mateo by the front door.I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look as mad as he looked a couple of minutes ago.Somehow, by the grace of God perhaps, when I saw him approaching me with that gun pointed at my face, I managed to take it from his hand after sparring with him and shot him in the shoulder. I think.I didn’t stay there to confirm. I didn’t wait to see if he was injured or not. I simply ran out of the house, not daring to look back, not even once. It’s been a few minutes, and I’m still blindly running through the neighborhood, trying to think of what to do or where to go. There’s no one on the street that I can ask for help, and even if there were, I’d be so afraid that Mateo would kill them for helping me that I don’t think I would ask for help anyway.It’s cold outside, and I’m still only wearing my shower robe, and even though I don’t dare to look back, too afraid of what I’ll see, I know I’m being follow
TonyComing here was a fucking mistake.Seeing Chloe did everything to me that I was trying to avoid. It just left me even more confused than before. We haven’t spent more than an hour together, and I still managed to screw it up.Being with her felt natural as if this was the only place I could be. Whenever I’m with her, holding her in my arms and feeling her close to me, everything just seems to go away. Every concern, every fear, every bad thought I ever had… I finally feel at peace.That’s the sort of effect she has on me. But I was not expecting her confession. Hearing her say she loves me and not being able to say it back shattered my heart in ways I can't explain. The look on her face will haunt me forever. It seems to have become a pattern lately. I can't seem to be able to stop hurting and disappointing her. I know what she expects from me, but unfortunately, I can't give it to her.It's clear to me that I have fallen for her, harder than I could ever have expected. It's a f