DanteSunday morning comes bright and early to the bed I custom-ordered so long ago to hold the random women I was fucking. When I wake up next to a naked, fucked-out El, covered in bruises she begged me for from neck to knee, my first thought is that I’ve never asked her if the mattress is comfortable. She’s going to be my wife, the mother of my children. So much of our life is still mine. I kiss her sleeping cheek and roll over to check my phone for mattresses that allow people to adjust both sides to their comfort.I should’ve known. My screen is covered with notifications. Capos, allies, people from the funeral. Tony. I open his first.Cal called me too. I set up a meeting with him and a triad representative to talk. I’ll roll your ass out of bed if I have to.I snort. Cal Duncan is getting bossy. But neither he nor Tony is wrong. If they really have a lead on Fyodor, I need to fucking do something about that. I roll out of bed with a groan and dress quickly to hide the marks El l
EleniI wave goodbye to Kaley and turn away from her after yet another class. We’re…two weeks into the semester now? Three? No, Professor Villanueva was talking about midterms. How could so much time have passed already?Amando walks up beside me. “Headed home?”I shake my head. “Tony needs a little birdie, and it’s easier to hide my traffic under the other students here.”“But—”I put my hand up to silence him. “Just…let me have this, okay?”Amando stuffs his hands in his pockets and nods. I veer away from the hall that takes us to the back elevators and toward one of the many computer labs. Not that I’d actually use a school machine. That’s insane. But if I work on my laptop in the seating area right outside, it’s easy to spoof one of the IPs in there and disappear into the flow.That’s really how these last god-knows-how-many weeks have felt. Disappearing into the flow. I bounce between Tandon and the apartment, juggling school work and Saints’ work and morning sickness that shows
Eleni“Okay, this might feel a little strange. Just take a deep breath.” Dr. Hanna inserts the ultrasound wand, the very last step of the appointment.I breathe through the weirdness, and a grainy, black-and-white picture pops up on the screen. In the middle of a big patch of darkness sits a little grain of white.“There’s your baby,” she says quietly. “It’s too early to tell sex, but do you see right there?” She points to another bump on the screen.I lean closer. Dante holds onto my hand like a lifeboat in a storm. “Yeah?”“That’s an eye.” She smiles at me. “You’re right on track, nine weeks pregnant.”I nod. The picture on the screen is…strange. It doesn’t look like a baby yet. It looks like the thing they show pregnant women on TV that makes them cry.Dr. Hanna looks at me for a moment. “Let me guess. You haven’t started showing yet, and you’re young, so you’re having trouble believing you’re really going to give birth.”I bite my lip. “You could do the maternal a little less well
DanteA couple days after El’s first ob-gyn appointment, I pull up in front of the same stupid diner Henry keeps insisting we meet at. He called me in the dead of the goddamn night, like I’m not busy, and insisted we meet. Finally, I was able to talk him around to doing this at the crack of fucking dawn, so at least I didn’t have to leave my pregnant fiancée before she woke up. I can see him sitting at the same table as always, but I pull out my phone. Let him sweat.A few notifications, nothing particularly exciting. I open the one from Tony and skim it, then smile. Third Russian hangout down, more bodies floating in the Hudson. I’ve been letting him mostly run that while I focus on getting regular operations up to snuff, and he’s been crushing it. The other day, I even saw Wing smile. He’s turning out to be much better at handling our “allies” than I thought he would be.With a sigh, I pocket my phone and slide out of the car. We might be locked in mutually-assured destruction, but
EleniThat weekend, I lean my head back against the chair at the head of the circle and try to pretend like I’m listening to what Wife #12 has to say. I know her name. I know I know it. But Nicky insisted on brunch for this meeting, and the omelet Val has balanced on her lap is really testing the boundaries of my control over my stomach. I suck in a slow breath through my mouth, then exhale through my nose as one of the many, many parenting and pregnancy books Dr. Hanna suggested told me to. It doesn’t help.“…and that’s why I think you should have the wedding here,” she finishes.“In the backyard?” Nicky asks incredulously. “Like they’re hippies?”Wife #12 pouts. “If you’d listened, you’d know I considered that and have several suggestions that would allow Eleni to be…close to home without seeming like someone who lives in a van.”I roll my eyes at Gianna. The wives have been itching to start planning my wedding, and a couple days ago, Nicky ambushed me with an already half-planned m
DanteMonday morning after Mama arrives, I move her into the apartment in the city with El and Gianna.“Are you certain you can carry this?” She furrows her brow at the three suitcases in my hands.I nod, trying to turn a grimace into a pained smile. I’m so happy she’s here. I’m so happy El’ s happy. She has so much goddamn stuff.With another frown, she waves me ahead of her, and I stumble into the lobby of the building.***Tuesday afternoon, I tap my foot on the floor of the elevator. I managed to sneak out between meetings just in time to meet Eleni when she comes home from classes and steal a few minutes. Usually, my Tuesdays are jam-packed, so I’m hoping to surprise her. I fidget with the bouquet of flowers I picked up on a whim.Ding. The elevator doors open, and the first sound that greets my ears is high, feminine laughter. I frown. I checked her schedule. El shouldn’t be back yet.“Hello?” I call.The laughter cuts off.“We’re in here!” Gianna yells from what sounds like the
EleniIn the car on the way back to the apartment, I’m practically vibrating. I hadn’t even realized how much hanging around with Mama and Gianna, constantly being worried over and interrupted, was affecting me. Leave it to Dante to see what I can’t and give me a chance to feel powerful again. I run my hand over his thigh.“I don’t suppose you got rid of the two of them?” I ask.He smirks. “Why? Do you want something?”“I might.” I smile. “But I asked you first.”Dante meets my gaze, his dark eyes burning. “I absolutely did not.”I throw my head back against the seat. “Fuck!”He laughs, very meanly, I might say. For the rest of the car ride, I pout. I’m an adult with a fiancé who has more money than anyone I’ve ever met. I should be able to have sex whenever I want. Dante takes this grumbling with a teasing smile, like it’s all the funnier for him how much I want it. Asshole.Amando pulls the car into the parking lot, and we get out. My phone vibrates. A text from Gianna.Your mom had
TonyI adjust the zoom lens on the camera, and the street below snaps into focus. Four twenty-somethings stroll down the sidewalk in the summer sunset, talking loudly to each other. The lankiest one says something that makes the bleached-blonde leader punch him. The final two laugh. With another twist, I zoom in on the only one we care about. Teo—Veniamin, as these fucks know him—cocks a fist back to hit the lanky one again, but the leader shakes his head. Together, the four of them enter a crappy electronics shop we’ve learned is yet another Russian front. I sit back from the camera.“How’s it look?” Mikey asks.Like Dante sent another kid just about Seb’s age into the goddamn lion’s den without thinking. The phantom Seb in my mind shakes his head. He talks less than he used to, since the funeral, but I can’t fucking get him to go away.“They look like besties.” I shrug. “’Nother guy in the group got hit. Not Teo.”Mikey nods. The sunset makes him look even older than he is, highligh
ChloeThe first few days after I learned that Mateo was no longer on this planet were a bit chaotic. Tony and his men had so much to do: cleaning up the mess, assigning the new positions each one of them would take when it came to protecting our family and the house, determining who would go back to dealing with the Saints’ businesses, and so on. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve managed to create a routine for myself and Ellie. It took me a while to process that I wouldn’t have to continue hiding or running away anymore, but eventually things just became… easier. It’s funny how easily and quickly humans get used to things. In the first few days, I was still scared to leave the house by myself, even with a couple of guards accompanying me, or Rocco taking me from place to place inside a bulletproof car. I would always watch over my shoulder, expecting someone to jump out of a bush or something and kidnap me–or worse–kill me.But Tony assured me he wouldn’t get rid of the security s
ChloeOur warm kiss turns into something more passionate as our hands begin to roam each other’s bodies. There are so many emotions bottled up inside us that it is hard to express them with words. Tony’s hands explore my body while he devours my mouth in a heated kiss, suffocating my moans. My head is still spinning from his confession that he loves me, and I can barely focus on what he’s doing. My distraction seems to catch his attention because he pulls away from me, his eyes studying my face carefully. “Is everything okay? We don’t need to do this if you don’t want to. I–”My lips are on his before he even finishes his sentence. Like hell I’d let him stop right now. I urge myself to be present, storing his confession for later, when I have time to dwell on it over and over without being interrupted. I wish I could’ve recorded it so I could listen to it whenever I need reassurance about how he feels about me.But this is Tony. I know he will shower me with affection and love whenev
ChloeAfter I welcome Tony home, I make sure to wake Ellie up so she can have dinner with us. She needs to eat something since she has been sleeping the whole afternoon, and she also needs to wake up now so she can get some sleep later. I’m not looking forward to staying up all night because she slept too much during the day.The three of us have dinner together as a family for the first time, and it just feels… right. Like how it’s always supposed to have been. Neither one of us brings up the elephant in the room. I’m sure we’ll have time to talk about it, but right now, I just want to enjoy this moment while I can. Watching Tony feed our daughter, playing with her, and getting her to laugh is just so adorable that my heart can barely take it.It’s a dream coming true right in front of my eyes.“Come on, baby. Let’s show Mommy how you’re a good girl who eats all her dinner,” he muses, making airplane sounds as he flies the spoon toward her gaping mouth.Ellie chuckles and opens wide
ChloeReuniting with Ellie and my mom felt overwhelming, although bittersweet. Even though I was beyond relieved and grateful to hold my daughter in my arms once more, my heart was shrinking by the minute, not knowing what Tony was up to.The Irish King’s bar I was brought to is surprisingly comfortable and welcoming. I was even more surprised when I found Cal playing with Ellie. The way she laughed at his exaggerated movements and jokes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this enchanted with another man before.After I settled down from the flight and kissed and hugged my family, Cal asked one of his employees from the bar to bring me something to eat. Mom and Ellie already had dinner since they arrived here earlier, and when the waitress returns with a tray filled with burgers, fries, and a chocolate milkshake, I almost let out a moan of pleasure.Only now have I realized how starving I am. I can’t even remember the last time I ate. So much has happened in the past twenty-four hours t
TonyMy vision turns red, and I clench my phone in my hand so hard that I hear it crack. “Send it to me. I’ll be on my way,” I inform him.Armando clears his throat, and I know he’s about to contradict me. “Shouldn’t we have a plan first, Boss? We have no idea what he’s been up to,” he wisely reminds me. I’m glad I have someone to make me see clearly now because all I can think of is putting a bullet hole through Mateo’s forehead and making sure he doesn’t take another breath in this world. “What do we know?” I ask, already starting the car.“They are in an abandoned warehouse outside the city. It’s not our territory, but that shouldn’t be a problem. No one really rules that part of town,” he explains firmly and professionally. “I have all men on hold, waiting for instructions on how we can best approach without being noticed.”“Do you think the cartel is waiting for us?” I have no fucking clue what Mateo was thinking when he invaded the safehouse to go after Chloe like that. It wa
TonyI warned Chloe not to even try and convince me of doing anything else other than going after Mateo and his men. I’d been doing my best to act cautiously, to consider every single possible outcome from this war, but after he ambushed Chloe at the safehouse, making her fight for her life, it left me blind with rage.My guilt didn’t help, either.I was so relieved when I found her on that dark street, wearing nothing but a robe covered in blood, that I could have cried when I held her in my arms. She felt so small, so vulnerable within my embrace that the monster dormant inside me snapped to life, and I simply couldn’t put this aside any longer. Even if I die, even if I don’t get to see her one last time, I will make sure to take Mateo down with me, so he never has the chance to lay a hand on my wife again. Or my daughter, for that matter.“Do I really have to go with Cal?” Chloe’s sweet voice asks from the bed, making me take my eyes off the phone and look at her. I promised her
Chloe“Listen,” Tony continues, still focused on the road. The police sirens get more and more distant as we drive away from the city, but I still don’t ask him where he is taking me. “I know you don’t want to think about it now, but I need to know what happened,” he requests in a gentle voice. I hear a hint of pain in it as well, but mostly, I can hear the guilt behind his words.I want to tell him none of this is his fault, but we’ll have time for that later. Right now, we just need to make sure no one else gets hurt, or worse, killed.I inhale sharply, steadying myself enough to share the recent events with him. I am strong, and I can do this, I tell myself. I’ve always told Tony I could handle it all, and even though I was scared as hell back there, I still managed to save myself.I can do this.“After you left, I spent a few more minutes in the office before I headed up to take a shower. I don’t think I was in there too long, but as soon as I stepped out, I heard the alarm go off
ChloeI should be dead.I was certain I’d be killed the moment I saw Mateo by the front door.I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look as mad as he looked a couple of minutes ago.Somehow, by the grace of God perhaps, when I saw him approaching me with that gun pointed at my face, I managed to take it from his hand after sparring with him and shot him in the shoulder. I think.I didn’t stay there to confirm. I didn’t wait to see if he was injured or not. I simply ran out of the house, not daring to look back, not even once. It’s been a few minutes, and I’m still blindly running through the neighborhood, trying to think of what to do or where to go. There’s no one on the street that I can ask for help, and even if there were, I’d be so afraid that Mateo would kill them for helping me that I don’t think I would ask for help anyway.It’s cold outside, and I’m still only wearing my shower robe, and even though I don’t dare to look back, too afraid of what I’ll see, I know I’m being follow
TonyComing here was a fucking mistake.Seeing Chloe did everything to me that I was trying to avoid. It just left me even more confused than before. We haven’t spent more than an hour together, and I still managed to screw it up.Being with her felt natural as if this was the only place I could be. Whenever I’m with her, holding her in my arms and feeling her close to me, everything just seems to go away. Every concern, every fear, every bad thought I ever had… I finally feel at peace.That’s the sort of effect she has on me. But I was not expecting her confession. Hearing her say she loves me and not being able to say it back shattered my heart in ways I can't explain. The look on her face will haunt me forever. It seems to have become a pattern lately. I can't seem to be able to stop hurting and disappointing her. I know what she expects from me, but unfortunately, I can't give it to her.It's clear to me that I have fallen for her, harder than I could ever have expected. It's a f