EleniWhen Dante parks the car in the driveway of the house that changed my mind, which I now haven’t seen in over a month, something in my ribcage snaps.“I’m tired,” I say.He nods.“I’m tired of being tired.” I put my hand on his cheek.With a sigh, Dante nods again.“I’m twenty-four.” My voice shakes. “You’re thirty-three.”He laughs bitterly. “Who would believe that?”“No one.” I unbuckle my seatbelt. “And I’m tired of that too.”That seems to catch his attention. He looks me over, trying to figure out what’s going on.“Let’s just be young tonight.” I smile. “Let’s…let’s streak through the neighborhood.”“I don’t know that I’m willing to share like that.” He chuckles. “But I don’t think you’ve ever been in my pool.”My smile starts to grow. “Too busy all summer. But I don’t have a swimsuit on.”He unfastens the button holding the front of my jacket together. “Who says you need one?”The blazer falls open, displaying the modest black blouse underneath. I loosen his tie.“I thought
DanteSunday morning comes bright and early to the bed I custom-ordered so long ago to hold the random women I was fucking. When I wake up next to a naked, fucked-out El, covered in bruises she begged me for from neck to knee, my first thought is that I’ve never asked her if the mattress is comfortable. She’s going to be my wife, the mother of my children. So much of our life is still mine. I kiss her sleeping cheek and roll over to check my phone for mattresses that allow people to adjust both sides to their comfort.I should’ve known. My screen is covered with notifications. Capos, allies, people from the funeral. Tony. I open his first.Cal called me too. I set up a meeting with him and a triad representative to talk. I’ll roll your ass out of bed if I have to.I snort. Cal Duncan is getting bossy. But neither he nor Tony is wrong. If they really have a lead on Fyodor, I need to fucking do something about that. I roll out of bed with a groan and dress quickly to hide the marks El l
EleniI wave goodbye to Kaley and turn away from her after yet another class. We’re…two weeks into the semester now? Three? No, Professor Villanueva was talking about midterms. How could so much time have passed already?Amando walks up beside me. “Headed home?”I shake my head. “Tony needs a little birdie, and it’s easier to hide my traffic under the other students here.”“But—”I put my hand up to silence him. “Just…let me have this, okay?”Amando stuffs his hands in his pockets and nods. I veer away from the hall that takes us to the back elevators and toward one of the many computer labs. Not that I’d actually use a school machine. That’s insane. But if I work on my laptop in the seating area right outside, it’s easy to spoof one of the IPs in there and disappear into the flow.That’s really how these last god-knows-how-many weeks have felt. Disappearing into the flow. I bounce between Tandon and the apartment, juggling school work and Saints’ work and morning sickness that shows
Eleni“Okay, this might feel a little strange. Just take a deep breath.” Dr. Hanna inserts the ultrasound wand, the very last step of the appointment.I breathe through the weirdness, and a grainy, black-and-white picture pops up on the screen. In the middle of a big patch of darkness sits a little grain of white.“There’s your baby,” she says quietly. “It’s too early to tell sex, but do you see right there?” She points to another bump on the screen.I lean closer. Dante holds onto my hand like a lifeboat in a storm. “Yeah?”“That’s an eye.” She smiles at me. “You’re right on track, nine weeks pregnant.”I nod. The picture on the screen is…strange. It doesn’t look like a baby yet. It looks like the thing they show pregnant women on TV that makes them cry.Dr. Hanna looks at me for a moment. “Let me guess. You haven’t started showing yet, and you’re young, so you’re having trouble believing you’re really going to give birth.”I bite my lip. “You could do the maternal a little less well
DanteA couple days after El’s first ob-gyn appointment, I pull up in front of the same stupid diner Henry keeps insisting we meet at. He called me in the dead of the goddamn night, like I’m not busy, and insisted we meet. Finally, I was able to talk him around to doing this at the crack of fucking dawn, so at least I didn’t have to leave my pregnant fiancée before she woke up. I can see him sitting at the same table as always, but I pull out my phone. Let him sweat.A few notifications, nothing particularly exciting. I open the one from Tony and skim it, then smile. Third Russian hangout down, more bodies floating in the Hudson. I’ve been letting him mostly run that while I focus on getting regular operations up to snuff, and he’s been crushing it. The other day, I even saw Wing smile. He’s turning out to be much better at handling our “allies” than I thought he would be.With a sigh, I pocket my phone and slide out of the car. We might be locked in mutually-assured destruction, but
EleniThat weekend, I lean my head back against the chair at the head of the circle and try to pretend like I’m listening to what Wife #12 has to say. I know her name. I know I know it. But Nicky insisted on brunch for this meeting, and the omelet Val has balanced on her lap is really testing the boundaries of my control over my stomach. I suck in a slow breath through my mouth, then exhale through my nose as one of the many, many parenting and pregnancy books Dr. Hanna suggested told me to. It doesn’t help.“…and that’s why I think you should have the wedding here,” she finishes.“In the backyard?” Nicky asks incredulously. “Like they’re hippies?”Wife #12 pouts. “If you’d listened, you’d know I considered that and have several suggestions that would allow Eleni to be…close to home without seeming like someone who lives in a van.”I roll my eyes at Gianna. The wives have been itching to start planning my wedding, and a couple days ago, Nicky ambushed me with an already half-planned m
DanteMonday morning after Mama arrives, I move her into the apartment in the city with El and Gianna.“Are you certain you can carry this?” She furrows her brow at the three suitcases in my hands.I nod, trying to turn a grimace into a pained smile. I’m so happy she’s here. I’m so happy El’ s happy. She has so much goddamn stuff.With another frown, she waves me ahead of her, and I stumble into the lobby of the building.***Tuesday afternoon, I tap my foot on the floor of the elevator. I managed to sneak out between meetings just in time to meet Eleni when she comes home from classes and steal a few minutes. Usually, my Tuesdays are jam-packed, so I’m hoping to surprise her. I fidget with the bouquet of flowers I picked up on a whim.Ding. The elevator doors open, and the first sound that greets my ears is high, feminine laughter. I frown. I checked her schedule. El shouldn’t be back yet.“Hello?” I call.The laughter cuts off.“We’re in here!” Gianna yells from what sounds like the
EleniIn the car on the way back to the apartment, I’m practically vibrating. I hadn’t even realized how much hanging around with Mama and Gianna, constantly being worried over and interrupted, was affecting me. Leave it to Dante to see what I can’t and give me a chance to feel powerful again. I run my hand over his thigh.“I don’t suppose you got rid of the two of them?” I ask.He smirks. “Why? Do you want something?”“I might.” I smile. “But I asked you first.”Dante meets my gaze, his dark eyes burning. “I absolutely did not.”I throw my head back against the seat. “Fuck!”He laughs, very meanly, I might say. For the rest of the car ride, I pout. I’m an adult with a fiancé who has more money than anyone I’ve ever met. I should be able to have sex whenever I want. Dante takes this grumbling with a teasing smile, like it’s all the funnier for him how much I want it. Asshole.Amando pulls the car into the parking lot, and we get out. My phone vibrates. A text from Gianna.Your mom had
*Cal*Tony takes a little longer than I’d like with the cartel bastards the Saints captured. By the time his men haul in two guys who are, I’d say, unrecognizable, I’m basically digging a hole in the floor with all my anticipation and agitation, having spent the last hour pacing.The guy I cuffed in the basement looks up from his spot in the corner, and his eyes widen when he sees two more of his people have also been taken by us. He doesn’t have any strength in him to say anything, but he’s been pretty quiet anyway compared to some of the smart-mouthed assholes I’ve beaten the shit out before.“Hey,” Tony greets me, walking behind his guys who are now restraining the newly kidnapped men to chairs, away from the first one. “Brought you a little present.”I grunt. “After the day I just had, you have no idea how glad I am to see them,” I tell him, darting a deathly glance to the newcomers and cracking my knuckles.“I owe you already. I’m glad I could return the favor for once,” Tony say
*Cal*I consider going after Heidi. Following her upstairs, grabbing her by the arm, turning her to me and crashing my lips into hers, hoping she can feel how much I love her and how much I’m willing to fight for us.But that’d be a lie.And also unfair to her.Because if I truly was willing to do anything for her, I’d accept turning my back on the mafia and the Irish Kings without a question. I wouldn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t consider anything other than having her by my side.But I can’t.I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t promise her something I’m not ready to do. Therefore, I’d rather she hates me now, while she still has any feelings for me, then watch her fall out of love with me while we are together. That’d hurt me more than anything.Realization begins to sink in. We’re truly over now. There’s no turning back, no saving this relationship that’s barely even started. I try to convince myself that this is for the best. Heidi will finally be safe away from me. She can return
*Cal*“What does this mean?” I want to know. I need to know. “What did you come here to talk to me about?”Heidi stares at me for a bit until she inhales sharply and turns her gaze to the ceiling. She is clearly uncomfortable with my questions, but I can’t move on not knowing what’s going through her mind.Does the fact that she came here to have sex with me in my office mean that she forgives me? That she’s willing to put everything behind us and start anew? That she belongs to me completely, no questions asked?Knowing her, I doubt that's what it means.But I need to hear her say it. I need to understand what she’s thinking. Otherwise, I might misinterpret all of it and ruin everything–again.“Heidi?” I call softly when she doesn’t answer me.She looks at me again, her beautiful, big eyes watching me intently. I push her hair out of her face, and lean forward to kiss her lips. It’s a soft kiss, but I try to convey all of my feelings for her through it.“I don’t know what this means,
*Cal*I spent most of the night and the morning trying to get something out of the cartel’s man I found lurking outside Heidi’s building. Anything useful at all that will help me put an end to all of this nonsense. The interrogation took several hours, and I was so fucking mad that I didn’t let any of my men deal with him even though I was exhausted. It was ugly, to say the least, and I split my knuckles multiple times as I tried to force some words out of his mouth. But in the end, I didn’t get much. The guy eventually murmured some addresses to me, but so far, my men only hit dead ends with the investigation on the De La Cruz cartel.At some point during the night, Tony showed up and helped me a little bit with the interrogation, and then he left, saying he would ask his men to start investigating as well.So far, I haven’t heard from him.The sun was rising in the sky by the time I came to my office. I sat down in my chair to clear my mind, hoping I could think about what I heard
*Heidi*“Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you to talk to this guy?” my grandfather offers for the millionth time in the past hour. “I’m positive I can convince him to sell me the shop at half the price he’s demanding.”I chuckle, shaking my head.“I’m good, Grandpa. If he doesn’t accept my offer, I’m sure I can find another great place somewhere else. As much as I love this one, I’m not willing to pay more than it is worth.”Grandpa nods, finally conceding.“Well, I have to get going,” I say, getting up from the chair. “You guys have to get ready for dinner, and I stayed for too long already. I don’t want them to forbid me to come visit you next time.”“They wouldn’t dare,” Grandma murmurs, standing and pulling me into a tight hug. It instantly makes me feel like I can fight the entire world. Her embrace charges my battery, and I feel renewed. Determined. Ready for whatever the world throws my way.“Thanks, Granny. I love you,” I tell her. Then I pull away from her to hug m
*Heidi*Despite my hopes that I would drop into a deep slumber and not wake at all during the night, my dreams were haunted by faceless men following Cal and I around town. Inevitably, one or the both of us got shot in each of my nightmares. In one of those dreams, these men get to my grandparents. That’s when I wake up sweating and unable to fall asleep again.I get up from bed and make some coffee before the sun is even up. After that, I grab my laptop and start searching for shops to buy again since my meeting with the owner of the Greenwich Village store yesterday wasn’t successful. The guy wasn’t willing to budge on lowering the price, and since I don’t even have the insurance money yet, I couldn’t commit to something I couldn’t afford.I spend the entire morning on real estate websites. However, none of them really stick out to me. I don’t particularly love anything I see, and by the time the clock strikes eleven in the morning, I’m tired of looking at the computer screen, my ey
*Heidi*As soon as Cal’s out the door, I’m left desolated, as if I’m drifting. My mind is numb, and I’m momentarily frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Nothing makes sense and, for a moment, I think I might be dreaming that all of this is just a weird fantasy, some sort of illusion I created in my head. How can Cal–this sweet, sexy, and kind human being–be a criminal?It’s absurd…Lifting up from the floor where I’ve been static for a couple of minutes, I walk toward the window, eager for some fresh air. I pull it open, breathing in the cold evening air. It feels like a wake up call, the wind brushing against my face, drying up the tears streaming down my cheeks.The night is so beautiful, the moon shining so bright up in the sky. It contrasts sharply with the chaos and the destruction that I feel within my heart. I’ve never felt this broken before in my life.Maybe when my parents died, yes, but I was too young to remember exactly what it felt like. But now that I’m mature enough,
*Cal*“Fuck!” I hiss, punching the wall next to the elevator outside Heidi’s apartment. Thankfully, there’s no one with me as I head downstairs after being told to leave her home, so I’m left alone with my anger and frustration.I should’ve seen this coming. It was bound to happen from the beginning. Of course, she would find out. How did I ever think I could keep it hidden from her forever?I could’ve treaded more carefully, but as soon as I heard her saying over the phone that she thought she was being followed, I saw red. I rushed to her apartment, not even trying to control my feelings and emotions. I was all over the place, all sorts of scenarios running through my mind until I could make sure that she was all right.She immediately picked up that I was hiding something from her. Once I decided to come clean with her, everything just poured out of me, and everything I’d been struggling to keep from her was completely exposed.As soon as I get to the building exit, I hesitate, hal
*Heidi*I blink once, twice, my brain struggling to make sense of the words that just came out of Cal’s mouth.Irish Kings? What the fuck is that?Why do I recognize this name from somewhere?But where…?Then it occurs to me, like a meteor hitting me straight in the face.Irish Kings… That’s the name of the Irish mafia gang in New York. I have no idea why or where I remember it from, but I might have read about them at some point in the past, or heard about them on TV or in the news.“The Irish Kings…as in, the mafia?” I ask, hoping that saying it out loud will convince me that that isn't what he meant because that would be utterly ridiculous.The whole idea is stupid. Even repeating the name sounds idiotic to me. There’s no way I fell in love with a mafia boss. Is there? This is not a fucking movie. This is real life.I remember joking about it once with him in the car right after we met. He slammed on the brakes so hard that we were almost rear ended. I had no idea how close to ho