ChloeI thought I'd be strong enough to endure the funeral until the end, but I was wrong. I feel emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and also so damn confused after seeing Tony, even from afar. For a moment, I thought he was coming to greet me, to talk to me, but he never did.Which was a good thing. I don't know if I am ready to face him yet. I don't know if I'll ever be.Talking to everyone I haven't seen in a long time was also a bit stressful, with them offering their condolences, asking me how I have been, and trying to keep me updated on their lives. Halfway through it, I couldn't take it anymore, so I simply left to get some fresh air, and ended up walking home without even realizing it.My childhood home, a big brick house in a residential neighborhood in Staten Island, comes into view as I turn the corner, my heels echoing on the pavement beneath me. It looks the same as I remember it being when I was here the last time, always neat and well kept. My mother always ha
ChloeThe days that follow are busy but uneventful. After settling in and getting the house organized, most of my time is spent with Ellie while Mom does God knows what in the streets. She told me she's been catching up with the mob wives and finding out how we can be helpful, but with taking care of the house and Ellie, I can't find it in me to worry about that.In all truth, I don't know if I want to get involved.I know I have to if I want to be protected and considered part of the Saints. Just because Dad used to be one of them, doesn't mean they have to take care of us forever. Even if their moral code says so.I got my old bedroom to myself and had Mom's old office turned into Ellie's bedroom, since it is the closest to mine. The house looks the same as when we left it, but I told Mom I wanted to make some changes so we can feel less nostalgic and more at home. With Dad no longer being here with us and many things reminding us of him, I thought it might be nice to make a few cha
TonyI don't know what came over me to go after Chloe at her house when I had decided she was better off without me. But when I found out she had left the funeral, I got worried. I needed to check on her, to make sure she was all right. I could still use the 'I'm the Saints' boss' card and no one would suspect I had ulterior motives to see her.More than that, I needed to confirm if she was married. Sure, I wanted to know if she was feeling okay or if she needed help, not to mention to offer my sincere condolences for her loss, however, every fiber of my being was screaming at me to go and see it for myself.Nicky had just dropped a bomb on me about Chloe having a fucking daughter. I'd expect she had a husband to back her up and protect her, being so kind and gracious. But then, why would she need the Saints? Why didn't they stay in Miami where they probably had a more comfortable life? Unless her husband was a nobody with no particular power. It made me wonder why Nicky was so wor
ChloeOn Friday morning, my mom convinced me to go to lunch with the mob wives so we could all catch up since I haven't gone to the last two meetings. I wasn't in the mood–especially after my father's funeral–and I am still not. However, I have no choice since I am officially part of their "family" now. It's not like I can enjoy the privileges of the life and not be actively involved.So, after she lectured me for almost fifteen minutes, I decided to indulge her and accept the invitation, otherwise she wouldn't leave me alone. I know she's been trying to distract herself, but it's starting to be too much, even for her.I used to participate in these meetings and gatherings before we moved to Miami, and true, I used to enjoy them. The girls are actually fun. However, ever since my life drastically changed after I had Ellie and met Mateo, my perspective on life simply changed too.Also, it's not the same to be at a restaurant, listening to twenty women chattering and laughing around me
TonyWhenever I'm in Manhattan, I feel uneasy. I don't like to feel out of control. Staten Island is my territory. That's where I feel most comfortable. However, I had to come personally because of an important matter, so I couldn't send anyone on my behalf. As I stroll into the bar Cal uses as his office, I take in my surroundings, noting it looks different from the last time I was here. Now I can't tell if it is a casino, a bar, or a strip club. Or maybe all of it combined. It looks fancy though, and there's a lot of patrons already even though it's still the afternoon. Some Irish Kings members nod at me as I make my way through the club and head toward the back door where I know Cal's office is. One of his bodyguards opens the door for me and steps aside so I can pass. I go through another door before reaching the hallway. Cal's office is the last door on my right. I knock and turn the doorknob as soon as I hear him order me inside."Ah, if it isn't the man himself," he says as a
ChloeIt astonishes me how a human being so small and who barely stands on her feet can make such a mess in my house. For the last twenty minutes, I've been putting away all of Ellie's toys spread across the floor, her crayons and drawings, and the cushions from the couch she threw around the living room carpet.Today was supposed to be a cleaning day for me, but I'm not really in the mood for it. Maybe I should accept Mom's offer to hire someone to do it for me, but even though I hate it, I need to do something with my free time, otherwise I'll go insane. My brain needs to be kept busy so I don't think of bad things twenty-four-seven.I didn't tell my mother about what happened at Lou's Deli the other day with Tony. I didn't want to worry her, although maybe I should, since she is acting like nothing is happening. But I still don't know if it was all paranoia on my part. Even though I want her to take things more seriously, I don't want to alarm her unnecessarily either.A car screec
TonyChloe blinks at me, too astonished to say anything. What the hell just came over me? Did I just propose to her? Was this really the best plan I could put together? A sneer escapes her lips, and I narrow my eyes at her."Did you hit your head on your way over here or what? Of course we're not getting married," she counters, her voice not sounding very convincing. It seems like she is trying to convince herself other than me."Yes, we are," I affirm. "Think about it…it's the best way to keep Mateo away. As my wife, you'd not only have the protection of the Saints, but of my allies as well," I reiterate, hoping to sound more persuasive. "I don't need to be your wife for that, we can just pretend we're dating," Chloe retorts, crossing her arms in front of her chest, her brows rising in defiance.I offer her a smile. "As sweet as it may sound, girlfriends don't carry that much weight to men like us," I explain. "None of the guys from the Irish Kings or the Triads in Chinatown, for
ChloeThe first rays of sunshine come through my window and I grumble, turning on my side so I'm not blinded by the light. I frown, my eyes still closed, and I feel sleepiness embracing me again. But then I hear a scream coming from downstairs and I sit up in a flash. My brain takes a few seconds to make sense of what I'm hearing, but when it does, I frown.Is my mother yelling at someone? She'd know better than to do that when Ellie is probably still asleep. What time is it anyway? I look to the side and grab my phone on my nightstand, seeing it's still 6:25 A.M. "What is he thinking?" My mom's muffled voice continues.I throw off the blanket and swing my legs out of bed. Something bad must have happened for her to be screaming like this so early in the morning.Before I check what's going on, I stop by Ellie's room at the end of the hallway to make sure she's all right. I open the door a crack and peep inside, finding her sleeping like an angel in her crib. I let out a sigh of rel
*Heidi*Going after Cal was a mistake. I knew it would be, but I still did it anyway.What was I thinking? What was I even expecting to happen? That if I came and asked him to drop his entire life and career for me and he’d do it?Ha! What a joke.Even if I mean as much to him as he says I do, giving up something you’ve been building your whole life is hard. I should know better than that. I wouldn’t give up on my life and dreams either if he asked me to. So, why am I feeling so heartbroken? Why do I feel so sad, so left out?I storm out of his office with tears blurring my vision. His scent is all over me, and my lips are still tingling from our kisses. No matter how much I want to turn back and run into his arms, I know I can’t do it. This is it. This was the last straw, the confirmation I needed that we’re indeed over.For good.“Miss Heidi, is everything okay?” someone asked from behind me as I walked out of the bar. It was rude on my part to ignore whoever it was, but I couldn’
*Cal*Tony takes a little longer than I’d like with the cartel bastards the Saints captured. By the time his men haul in two guys who are, I’d say, unrecognizable, I’m basically digging a hole in the floor with all my anticipation and agitation, having spent the last hour pacing.The guy I cuffed in the basement looks up from his spot in the corner, and his eyes widen when he sees two more of his people have also been taken by us. He doesn’t have any strength in him to say anything, but he’s been pretty quiet anyway compared to some of the smart-mouthed assholes I’ve beaten the shit out before.“Hey,” Tony greets me, walking behind his guys who are now restraining the newly kidnapped men to chairs, away from the first one. “Brought you a little present.”I grunt. “After the day I just had, you have no idea how glad I am to see them,” I tell him, darting a deathly glance to the newcomers and cracking my knuckles.“I owe you already. I’m glad I could return the favor for once,” Tony say
*Cal*I consider going after Heidi. Following her upstairs, grabbing her by the arm, turning her to me and crashing my lips into hers, hoping she can feel how much I love her and how much I’m willing to fight for us.But that’d be a lie.And also unfair to her.Because if I truly was willing to do anything for her, I’d accept turning my back on the mafia and the Irish Kings without a question. I wouldn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t consider anything other than having her by my side.But I can’t.I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t promise her something I’m not ready to do. Therefore, I’d rather she hates me now, while she still has any feelings for me, then watch her fall out of love with me while we are together. That’d hurt me more than anything.Realization begins to sink in. We’re truly over now. There’s no turning back, no saving this relationship that’s barely even started. I try to convince myself that this is for the best. Heidi will finally be safe away from me. She can return
*Cal*“What does this mean?” I want to know. I need to know. “What did you come here to talk to me about?”Heidi stares at me for a bit until she inhales sharply and turns her gaze to the ceiling. She is clearly uncomfortable with my questions, but I can’t move on not knowing what’s going through her mind.Does the fact that she came here to have sex with me in my office mean that she forgives me? That she’s willing to put everything behind us and start anew? That she belongs to me completely, no questions asked?Knowing her, I doubt that's what it means.But I need to hear her say it. I need to understand what she’s thinking. Otherwise, I might misinterpret all of it and ruin everything–again.“Heidi?” I call softly when she doesn’t answer me.She looks at me again, her beautiful, big eyes watching me intently. I push her hair out of her face, and lean forward to kiss her lips. It’s a soft kiss, but I try to convey all of my feelings for her through it.“I don’t know what this means,
*Cal*I spent most of the night and the morning trying to get something out of the cartel’s man I found lurking outside Heidi’s building. Anything useful at all that will help me put an end to all of this nonsense. The interrogation took several hours, and I was so fucking mad that I didn’t let any of my men deal with him even though I was exhausted. It was ugly, to say the least, and I split my knuckles multiple times as I tried to force some words out of his mouth. But in the end, I didn’t get much. The guy eventually murmured some addresses to me, but so far, my men only hit dead ends with the investigation on the De La Cruz cartel.At some point during the night, Tony showed up and helped me a little bit with the interrogation, and then he left, saying he would ask his men to start investigating as well.So far, I haven’t heard from him.The sun was rising in the sky by the time I came to my office. I sat down in my chair to clear my mind, hoping I could think about what I heard
*Heidi*“Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you to talk to this guy?” my grandfather offers for the millionth time in the past hour. “I’m positive I can convince him to sell me the shop at half the price he’s demanding.”I chuckle, shaking my head.“I’m good, Grandpa. If he doesn’t accept my offer, I’m sure I can find another great place somewhere else. As much as I love this one, I’m not willing to pay more than it is worth.”Grandpa nods, finally conceding.“Well, I have to get going,” I say, getting up from the chair. “You guys have to get ready for dinner, and I stayed for too long already. I don’t want them to forbid me to come visit you next time.”“They wouldn’t dare,” Grandma murmurs, standing and pulling me into a tight hug. It instantly makes me feel like I can fight the entire world. Her embrace charges my battery, and I feel renewed. Determined. Ready for whatever the world throws my way.“Thanks, Granny. I love you,” I tell her. Then I pull away from her to hug m
*Heidi*Despite my hopes that I would drop into a deep slumber and not wake at all during the night, my dreams were haunted by faceless men following Cal and I around town. Inevitably, one or the both of us got shot in each of my nightmares. In one of those dreams, these men get to my grandparents. That’s when I wake up sweating and unable to fall asleep again.I get up from bed and make some coffee before the sun is even up. After that, I grab my laptop and start searching for shops to buy again since my meeting with the owner of the Greenwich Village store yesterday wasn’t successful. The guy wasn’t willing to budge on lowering the price, and since I don’t even have the insurance money yet, I couldn’t commit to something I couldn’t afford.I spend the entire morning on real estate websites. However, none of them really stick out to me. I don’t particularly love anything I see, and by the time the clock strikes eleven in the morning, I’m tired of looking at the computer screen, my ey
*Heidi*As soon as Cal’s out the door, I’m left desolated, as if I’m drifting. My mind is numb, and I’m momentarily frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Nothing makes sense and, for a moment, I think I might be dreaming that all of this is just a weird fantasy, some sort of illusion I created in my head. How can Cal–this sweet, sexy, and kind human being–be a criminal?It’s absurd…Lifting up from the floor where I’ve been static for a couple of minutes, I walk toward the window, eager for some fresh air. I pull it open, breathing in the cold evening air. It feels like a wake up call, the wind brushing against my face, drying up the tears streaming down my cheeks.The night is so beautiful, the moon shining so bright up in the sky. It contrasts sharply with the chaos and the destruction that I feel within my heart. I’ve never felt this broken before in my life.Maybe when my parents died, yes, but I was too young to remember exactly what it felt like. But now that I’m mature enough,
*Cal*“Fuck!” I hiss, punching the wall next to the elevator outside Heidi’s apartment. Thankfully, there’s no one with me as I head downstairs after being told to leave her home, so I’m left alone with my anger and frustration.I should’ve seen this coming. It was bound to happen from the beginning. Of course, she would find out. How did I ever think I could keep it hidden from her forever?I could’ve treaded more carefully, but as soon as I heard her saying over the phone that she thought she was being followed, I saw red. I rushed to her apartment, not even trying to control my feelings and emotions. I was all over the place, all sorts of scenarios running through my mind until I could make sure that she was all right.She immediately picked up that I was hiding something from her. Once I decided to come clean with her, everything just poured out of me, and everything I’d been struggling to keep from her was completely exposed.As soon as I get to the building exit, I hesitate, hal