MaraI stop talking. I’ve reached the difficult part. The part where Johnathan dies. I don’t want to talk about it, much less think about it.But the image is there, forever etched into my brain like a brand.“Mara?” Johnathan asks and looks up from his notebook. “Is that it? Are you done?”I shake my head. “Remember? I told you… I told you that I saw you dead.”He nods and picks up his wine glass. He doesn’t look nearly as worried or afraid as he should be. “We can stop for now. Pick it up tomorrow.”I hesitate, gripping the stem of my wine glass like it’s a live preserver. The premonition plays itself out in my head again, vivid and unbearable, but I force myself to forge ahead. "No. I want to get this over and done with.""Okay," my mate agrees. "Go ahead."“After Rick took me-” I clear my throat in an attempt to get rid of the frog that caught there -“he took me into the mansion. To my father. They had him locked up in the wine cellar.” I let out a mirthless little laugh. “You sa
JohnathanI get up and massage the soft spot below my thumb. Mara’s vision lasted a long time, but I did not expect it to be so detailed. I’ve seen seers go into trances for hours, only to come out of it and give me a useless little vision that couldn't have lasted more than five minutes. Half the time, the biggest challenge for a seer is to come out of the trance.“You did well for your first time,” I say and return to my desk to get my notebook. I tried to write everything down exactly as she told it. I want to keep a record of her visions so I can remind myself from time to time. I used to record seers’ accounts on my cellphone, but I have a tendency to lose my phones. I lock the notebook in the top drawer of my desk, then return to the thick file Douglas sent. I hold the file up for Mara to see. “From your father. Money.”“What?” Mara asks. “The humans didn’t just take it?”“No. Your father was clever. He hid his tracks well. On paper, every penny belongs to a human.”“What human
JohnathanDinner passes rather tensely. Mara keeps shooting me dirty looks, as if she’s just waiting for me to say something in Rose's defence. I decide to keep my mouth shut. The vision is still too fresh in her mind, and we have the uncanny way of self-fulfilling prophecies if we’re not careful.The Rose thing is going to come back to bite me in the ass. I should have sent her back home, but my conscience wouldn’t allow it. She’s a child, brainwashed by a cult into believing that she has to start breeding for the good of her tribe.The Lunae must be desperate if they’re sending their children out to have babies. Their pack was decimated - they probably want to repopulate as fast and as soon as possible.Rose came home with me, but I’m not her Alpha. She did not swear loyalty to me. I'm under no obligation to protect her, and she will never accept my authority over her.Yet, I want to protect her - even against herself if need be - just like I want to take care of every lost child. M
MaraBy the time Johnathan comes upstairs to tuck Gregory in, I’m seething with rage. I didn’t expect to form a friendship with Rose right away, but I didn’t think she’d ask me to share my mate with her. I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t grow up with the Lunae, and for the life of me I don’t know why my mother went back to that place when she had other options. My father gave her money. She could have gone anywhere, and she went back to live with monsters.For Gregory’s sake, I pretend nothing’s wrong when my mate finally shows up. While we waited for him, I gave Gregory a bath and read him a story. We’re now sitting on the floor, playing with his dinosaurs.Johnathan doesn’t say a word about Rose when he joins us. “Are you okay, buddy?” he asks when he sits next to me. “You seemed upset when you left the table.”“I don’t like the new giwl. Mawa says it’s hew sistuh, and she's going to stay hewe now.”“Yeah maybe.” Johnathan crosses his legs under him and pats his knee. “Come sit h
Mara The door closes with a soft click that sounds louder than it actually is. I’m a bundle of nerves and excitement, filled with conflicting, swirling emotions I’ve never felt and don’t know what to do with. For a moment, the only sound is my breathing - too shallow, too fast. Johnathan doesn’t speak. He just watches me from his side of the room, his dark eyes steady, waiting. He’s always like that with me, always so patient. I don’t know how he does it, and I expect him to explode at any moment, to go back on his promise and take what’s his anyway. Back at Luna school, they always told us that Alphas have ferocious appetites, and we have to prepare ourselves for it. I don’t know if Johnathan’s just different, broken, or has exceptional self-control. He’s not like any Alpha I’ve ever met, read about, or heard about. His quiet patience and understanding is unnerving. It makes me want to scream and cry, but it almost makes me want to lean into him, give myself over to him in ever
MaraI stare into my mate's onyx eyes. He opened himself to me. Showed me a vulnerable side no one ever gets to see. He trusted me enough to reveal that part of himself, and it had to take a lot of courage for him to let his guard down like that.The least I can do, is give him that same kind of trust.His hands linger on my waist, not pushing, not pulling, just waiting. “Can you tell me what you want?” he asks after a while.I want to do that so badly, but I can’t. I don’t know how. No one ever cared enough to ask me, so I never learned.He cocks his head at me and smiles. It’s like he knows that I can’t say the words. This must be so frustrating for him. Having a sexually anorexic mate who swallows her tongue when he needs her to open her fucking mouth and speak.But he doesn’t seem to mind.“Can I show you then?” he asks, his voice low and soothing. "Tell you what to do?"Numb and mute, I can only nod.His thumbs trace slow circles around my hips, grounding me in the moment, letting
JohnathanI’m actually impressed by my own level of control and patience with Mara. There’s a reason why I never chose to sleep with virgins, or inexperienced women in general, in the past. They require too much patience - a quality I mostly lack when it comes to sex.But Mara is my mate. She’s special. She’s not just another cum receptacle or a temporary body to warm my bed or company to keep my loneliness at bay.She is my mate. And the memory of her previous mate is still too fresh in her mind. I have to keep reminding myself to be gentle. To be patient.I thought it would annoy me, it usually does, but it’s the opposite. Slowing down, forcing me to concentrate on her and what she needs, grounds me, connects me to her.I settle between her legs and look up at her flushed face. Even though I’ve known it for a few weeks now, even though I marked her, her presence, her very existence, still feels fantastical and impossible.Yet here she is. Lying under me. Beautiful and vulnerable, tr
Johnathan I crawl up Mara’s body to kiss her. Her skin is flushed, and her chest is still racing. She looks at me with eyes that are filled with shock and awe. “I never…” she starts. “I didn’t… it has never-” “Shh,” I silence her. "I know. You don't have to explain anything." I press my mouth against hers, and she moans softly when she tastes herself on my lips. She reaches between our bodies for my cock, but I quickly break away from her and grab her hand. “No.” A small frown creases her brow. “Don’t you want me?” “I do,” I say. “That’s the problem.” “But… why?” Her heart is beating way too fast, and even though she’s blushing and shy to ask the questions, she forges ahead. “Why is it a problem that you want your mate?” I chuckle softly and plant a soft kiss right above her eyebrow. “I promised you that tonight is all about you. We are going to keep it that way.” “What if I want more?” “I will give you all the orgasms you want, Mara, but I’m not fucking you. Not tonight.” He
MaraI stumble through the mansion, barely seeing anything around me. I have no idea where I'm going or what I'll do when I get there. I just know that I can't stop now. I can't think about what we've done. If I do, I'll never be able to get back up.As soon as the crew cleared out, I killed Finnian. The only ones I would allow to stay were Johnathan and Kahn. I love them. I trust them. It was worse this time because I knew his name. He wasn't just a threat I needed to get rid of. He was a person to me, and he wasn't our enemy. Not really. He didn’t hate us. He had no problem with us. He just wanted to save his child.Shortly afterwards, Oberon showed up and wanted to take my pain away, but I refused. I can’t keep hiding from it. Easing my suffering makes it too easy. Everytime he does that, I feel a little less, and I am sure if he keeps doing it, I will become cold and indifferent. I can’t allow that to happen.At long last, I I turn right into an unkown room, and end up in one of
MaraThey enclosed the brain thing in a glass container that reminds me a lot of an upside down bowl. It’s to contain the toxic gas it’s giving off, but I think it’s harming him. He looks sick. Greyish-white, the pulsating slow and uneven, like he’s gasping for air.He’s well away from the rest of the town, hidden in a vast cave that's not too high up. “We can’t film him like this,” I say and give Johnathan a pleading look. “They will call us cruel.”My mate nods. “Agreed. Everyone stand back. I don't know what that gas will do to you. I’ll release him.”The film crew that came with us disappear from the cave, but Kahn doesn’t budge. The vampire’s eyes are filled with sorrow. “You know… at least we have the decency to treat our blood bags well.”“Yes,” I answer without missing a beat, “but the problem is that you think of them as blood bags, not as humans with feelings.”“We acknowledge their feelings,” Kahn says in a huff, “which is why we don’t lock them up in cages.”“Don’t argue,
JohnathanMara is sitting in her favourite spot on the windowsill, staring out over the wilderness. The storm clouds are gathering again, and I expect another good downpour as soon as tonight.She is upset. Six of the wolves didn’t make it. Even with her present in the temple, and with Oberon’s shield, they still burst into flames immediately.But she is not upset because they died. It’s the way they died that bothers her the most. “Are you okay?” I ask as I adjust the towel around my waist, and run my hand through my wet hair.“They died terribly.”“Probably for a good reason, Mara,” I say. Not that I disagree with her. Watching someone burn to death is horrendous. “We couldn’t trust those wolves. The Goddess allowed everyone else to turn.”She sighs, a heartbreaking sound that tears me to pieces. “I know. That doesn’t mean I have to like it though.”“No, it doesn’t. There’s something else we need to talk about.” And she’s not going to be happy. Not at all. I’m not happy about it ei
JohnathanI catch Mara and Donovan just as they leave the forest. They are surrounded by dozens of wolves - the ones I’m starting to think of as the originals - who went to visit with their children.“How did it go?” I ask.As soon as I ask the question, my mate’s eyes are filled with tears. “I almost couldn't say goodby to him. I didn't want to let him go.""I'm sorry, baby," I say gently. "I know it's not ideal.""He asked about you.”A heavy weight of guilt settles where my heart is supposed to be. “What did you tell him?”She pulls one shoulder up her ear. “I told him that you are working very hard to keep the pack safe, but that you will go see him soon.”I feel my own tears trying to push their way up my throat. I swear, I hadn’t been this emotional and teary since I was a child. “He was okay with that?”“Yes, because his daddy is his hero. He is very proud of you, Johnathan.”The love that wells up in my chest is overwhelming, but so is the sorrow and longing to see my child. “
JohnathanI sit with Rose and try to follow her disjointed report. She is speaking for all the Lunae and the whole bunch of them are babbling at once.It takes them a while to settle down and allow Rose to translate.As far as I can tell, each of them explored a different part of Red Ridge, and they are not telling me anything I don’t already know. Experiments, pain, suffering, families torn apart, unbelievable, unbeatable soldiers. Everything Mara already saw in her vision.It was an absolute waste of time and resources to send the Lunae to Red Ridge, but at least I now know that Mara’s visions are scary accurate.Which does not bode at all well for our future.“Last I go see Douglas. He feel Lunae presence,” Rose says.My stomach goes a little cold. “What was he doing?”“I no know. He sent me away. Say we need run. Hide. He no help.”I slowly nod. “Where was he?”“In big white room. Lots of glass… what you call those things?”“Test tubes?”Rose shrug. “Machines I no understand. Bloo
MaraFor once, it’s not raining. The sun shines brightly in the clear, blue sky and birds chirp merrily in the trees.Johnathan is still asleep, wrapped around me like a blanket. I slide out from under him, grab his t-shirt and walk over to the window, throwing it wide open and inhaling the clean, crisp air.The sun might be out, the clouds might be gone, but it’s fucking freezing cold. I feel like it should be snowing, not raining.Running on my tiptoes, I head back to bed and crawl under my mates warm arms. It’s just cozy enough so I won’t freeze to death, but not so hot that I’ll dehydrate.“Morning,” Johnathan says without opening his eyes.I jerk at the sudden sound of his voice. There was no indication that he was waking up. His breathing didn’t change, his heartbeat didn’t speed up - nothing. “I think it’s closer to afternoon,” I reply.“It might be,” he says and finally turns his head to look at me.His eyes are clear and wide awake, but he’s deeply troubled. I can tell that
MaraI pull Johnathan into the shower with me. He follows me inside without any complaint, even allowing me to help him wash. It’s awkward and difficult—he’s so tall that I can’t reach everywhere, but he still lets me do it.I don’t know what his plans are anymore. I don’t know if he changed his mind at all, but I saw him fight for us. I saw him stand up to Thrax, brilliantly weaving a strategy I would never even have considered.I am not sure if he was just acting in the moment, and if still wants to abandon the pack, us, and go his own way. And I will not ask him. Not tonight anyway. He’s carrying a veil of sorrow around that’s so thick I can feel it, and I refuse to let it consume him.He needs to know, has to understand, that I am here for him and that he isn’t the one who always has to keep me standing. He has to know that it goes both ways.Johnathan grips my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look at him as he shields me from the water with his body. Then he a
JohnathanStaring at Thrax’s disembodied head is quite disconcerting. I hold him up by his hair, looking into his slack-jawed face. His mouth is open in a silent scream, and his eyes keep blinking at me. “How do we keep this thing alive without blood?” I ask Kahn.“A vampire as old as him can go several months, if not years, without blood. He will be fine.”Donovan holds a canvas bag out to me, and I drop the head into it, rubbing my bloody hands on my jeans. Not that it helps much, but it makes me feel better.That was absolutely revolting, and probably one of the worst things I have ever done in my life. “Do not beat yourself up, Warlord,” Oberon tries to comfort me. “He deserved it.”Maybe he did. But it still feels so, so wrong. The floor is slick with blood, we’re all covered in it, and my office smells like death. “I need a shower.” And about twenty bottles of rotgut whiskey to forget this night. I'll take the cheap moonshine the rogues used to distill - it's a hundred perce
JohnathanI wish I could say that drinking Kahn’s blood was one of the more disgusting things I’ve ever done in my life, but that would be a lie. I have had far worse things in my mouth than a little vampire blood over the years.And it did work. Not only did it sober me up, I am wide away, and I feel stronger than usual. No wonder the vampires don't share their blood.When Thrax showed up, Kahn whispered four little words in my ear. “Careful. Don't trust him.”While Thrax went on and on and on, I managed to put up a wall, blocking him, and I could contact Preston, who went straight to work - he found Oberon, he rallied the troops.I am still not sure if I changed my mind about our future. But what I have to worry about now is this new threat. There will be no future if Thrax kills us all. Or worse, hands us over to the humans. I knew the vampires, especially Thrax’s younger children, wouldn’t be able to resist the nymphs. Much like Lycan blood, theirs is considered to be a rare deli