Confused Feelings

Chapter 88

(Confused Feelings)

Aiden’s POV

“Gosh..I messed up big time..I shouldn’t have done it, but my urge was irresistible” I cursed softy, remembering last night scene. I almost had my way with her; if grannie Naomi’s voice hadn’t ring out behind the door, then it would have been a different case. She had actually been looking for Josephine and decided to come tell me about her getting missing suddenly, not knowing she was in with him. We flipped of each other, as Josephine made for the door.

She managed to convince Grannie that she was only checking on me, being that I was depressed and getting myself drown in drinks I was still a bit tipsy though, but was conscious of what was happening around me. Grannie Naomi scolds me for some time, warning me not to go near hot liquors again. And that was all I could remember before drifting into a long sleep. I woke with a severe headache as every single thing flashed back into my memory.

Lust and want was clearly written in her eyes as we made out before we were interrupted, but I was sure she doesn’t want to regret it, that was why she stopped me at first. No doubt, Josephine hasn’t gotten off her feelings for me. She is just too shy to tell me about it, but I knew right from time. And the fact that she is a v!rgin…damn…I would have taken it without my right senses.

Just as I was about getting off the bed, the door cracked open, and she stepped in. I felt a hot rush in my throat as I gulp down nothing when our eyes met. She stood backing the door, her hands clamp together as she fidgeted with her fingers.

“Erm good morning” She greeted. I nodded finding a lump in my throat which prevented me from speaking. I shouldn’t be feeling this ashamed…or should I say shy. I don’t used to be this way; if I made out with a girl, it’s either I flirt with her or tease her about it. But here I am, getting worked up, all because of a weird late night make up, that almost led to s*x.

“Morning…” I resorted, trying to keep my voice steady. None of us said a word, until I broke the silence

“Erm..Josephine about last night..”

She cuts me off

“I only came to check up on you..i hope you are fine..erm..I think you are better now.”

“Oh.yes…but we need to talk…”

“I will take my leave now..do you want breakfast in bed or….”

I looked at her intently. Why does she not want to talk about it, is she hiding something from me, is there any other thing I did wrong that I can’t remember, I thought, before giving her my reply

“I will be down for breakfast” I mumbled. She nodded

“Ok..i will give your reply to Granni Naomi….” She stated and left without waiting for my reply. Something is off with her, I shrug, pushing off the blanket as I step into the bathroom, turning on the shower.

~~~~~

Ariel’s POV

I picked on my food as I reminisce on what was about happening earlier on What if he had made his way with me; well, I almost agreed to it, but damn..i don’t think it’s right. He still seemed drunk to me, and might regret it if I had given in. Whatever, I would reprimand Audrey for dropping her useless drink, when he had clearly told her that he doesn’t drink for Christ sake, he is allergic to it.

I was still in my thoughts when he came out of his room, walking towards the dining room. Back to the make out scene

~

“I know…..I want you…” Axel muttered

Within a twinkle of an eye, I felt his lips on mine, taking full control. I was getting lost in it, when my subconscious spoke to my hearing

“With the way you are taking things in a rush, you might just end up getting pregnant” It smirked. At the mention of the word ‘pregnant’, I regain consciousness pushing him off with the whole of my strength. He paused, puzzled as he stared at me.

“What is it..” He questioned

“I don’t want to get pregnant..” I spurted out and covered my mouth almost immediately. Gosh, did I just said that to him… He looked at me with furrowed brows, and was forced to chuckle at my funny expression. Who won’t laugh in that position, I was clearly acting bewildered and crazy.

“You won’t get pregnant..” he stated, as I rolled my eyes.

“The last time I checked, we are not the same s*x..so what are you expecting” I glared, getting off the bed. I heard him heave a sigh, and pouted

“I know…” he muttered and swallowed in, perhaps his saliva; or nothing at all.

“Are you still drunk?” I asked him, he squinted, getting a better position on the bed. He picked up a shirt close by and wore it on

“Nope just having a frail headache..”

“So you mean that you are in your right mind and you were displaying this madness with me?” I snapped, scoffing

“I’m sorry, I just—I just couldn’t control my urge, it’s a good thing you stopped me before I went into cloud nine….” He replied with a sorry face, but I could still see that burning urge in his eyes.

“The next times you will get yourself drunk then consider my hands out of it. I’m not gonna safe our ass” I stated and made to leave when he called me, making my movement pause.

“Ariel?”

“Yes..Thanks” he smiled

“You are welcome….”

~

And that was it, well he hasn’t been down for breakfast, until now, but the only question ringing in my mind is why I didn’t get mad at him for trying to have his way with me, am I that cheap, or was I falling for him to the extent of giving him my body..damn…I sigh, not realizing that he was already at the table

“Are you ok” he asked

“Oh…where yes…were you saying something?” I asked, clearing my throat. He squinted

“No…just about saying something though. You zoned out..” I nodded

“Just thinking” I mumbled

“So about yesterday..”

“I don’t want to talk about it” I shunned him off

“You mentioned your mother….is there something you want me to now” He continued, not minding my mood. I exhale

“I want to see her; it’s been long since I left my country down here…she will be so alone” I sob, cleaning of the falling tears..

He looked at me for a while and his next action shocked me. He brought out my phone and placed it on the table.

“You can have it back, I’m sorry for keeping it in the first place. You can reach anyone you want”

He also brought out a recorder

“What’s that” I asked

“Karl brought it to me some weeks ago. I think Flora is innocent of what I accused her of; I’m such a fool to have let my emotions control me. Sophia is the one to be dealt with. I don’t know how to face them now, but if Sophia could do all this that Flora mentioned, then the video we watched might also be framed.”

“So what are we gonna do about it….”

“I don’t know…I don’t think I can face him… He is really gonna be mad at me for bringing you along with me. “

I couldn’t say anything as he played the recorder for me to hear. We both listen to every bit of Flora’s voice as she spoke in pain and agony. No doubt, with the way her voice cracked, it shows that she was passing through emotional pains as the audio was recorded.

“You can call your mum now..” I heard his voice after the audio finished playing. I didn’t know that I was lost listening to it, not realizing when it stopped

“Oh..” I mumbled, picking up the phone as I redial the number. Though I know it’s not gonna be reachable, but I still have to try my luck. It kept saying not reachable until I was tired of trying

“That’s was how it has been right from time. I haven’t been able to reach her ever since I stepped on this land”

“And your dad?” He asked

“I don’t know him; I heard he stays in this country but haven’t seen him, not even his picture”

“Hmm, that’s weird…”

“Mum asked me to search for him when I get here, saying that he is kinda influential..but I can’t see that happening. Cape Town is a large city to begin with…I don’t even know much people”

“Do you know his name?”

“She said his name is Oliver; that’s what he told her then. I think they had a one night stand which resulted to having me. My dad didn’t know that my mum took in, and before mum got to know about it, he was gone, and never returned.” I explained

“Such a sad story…I’m sorry about that..” He cooed, placing his hand on mine, which is on the table, and giving it a little caress. I sighted it from his grip, as he sigh, disappointedly

“It’s ok….”

“What if I devise a plan..” He muttered as my eyes glint in glee

“What plan?”

“Let’s visit Africa…we can go look for your mum, perhaps there are other stories about your dad that she didn’t tell you. And whereas, you missed her, we have just few more days before the school short break will end. I won’t want you missing classes.”

“Can we actually go back...but how…”

“We will go through a private transport, perhaps ship or plane if you want it to be faster.”

“I will love ship because of some adventures I will want to carry out, but I think I will go for plane…I really wanna see her”

He chuckled

“Ok….leave that to me”

 ~~~~~

Aiden’s POV

Josephine has been avoiding me throughout the day, not until evening time when I caught her picking out flowers in the garden. She is now calm, unlike before. Well, she used to be a calm type when I first met and Grannie Naomi, but she changed all of a sudden, and I think I caused that in one way or the other.

She was shocked on seeing me close. I had to grab her hand to prevent her from running.

“Erm…good evening sir…” She greeted with her head faced down

“Josephine..” I called, trying to avoid her gaze too, but it’s not working. I kept looking through her

“Why are you running away?”

“I’m not” She replied sharply

“F**k” I breathed out

“If it was about last night then I’m sorry..you knowing was a bit drunk….i shouldn’t have”

“I know…just leave it that way, I don’t want to talk about it” She cut in

I nodded, as silence took in for a while

“You are going to go back to her anyways…so I don’t mind any longer…” She sniffed in, turning her face away from me

“What are you talking about…”

“You know what I’m talking about Aiden..you know..you f**king know about my love for you right from time, but you choose to ignore me…” She sobs, letting the tears she had been holding fall freely. Now I know why she didn’t want to face me, she was trying hard not to break down

“What we had was out of lust…well you think…but it means a lot to me..”

“Josephine…”

“You know….i have always loved you right from the first day we met and you accepted us in t work for you. I still remember the way you do stare at me then, it gave me hope that you had a thing too. But it all shattered when I noticed it was nothing but a flirty attitude. I watch in pain seeing you make out with some of those celebs during your get-togethers, all in the name of game. I watch you flirt with other girls and even call me to serve them, but I watch with burning desires, still hoping for the bet at the end.

I watch you bring in Ariel and turn a new leave just because of her, hoping to tight the knot when ready, and that made me hate her for no reason; she was good to me.” She continued to pour out her heart, making me feel the guilt I haven’t felt for a long time. My hands were clearly shaking, as she speaks. I felt a pang of pain strucking my heart. This will be the first time in years I will see her cry so bitterly, and it’s all because of me…I couldn’t give her back what she wants.

“I watch your make out and romance shows with other actresses all in the name of movie..but the jealousy still remains, that I can’t help hating those female for taking up that role with you. Sometimes I do feel like I’m cursed, no man has ever approached me, and the only one I love loves many…and is presently ready to settle with one; meaning I lose again.

Is it because I’m your maid…or perhaps because you are 4 years older than I am…am I that of a kid? I- i- am just…” She sniffed in, cleaning off her tear still poured out.

“I’m sorry for crushing on you for too long, I should have stopped when it was clearly visible that you are not meant for me…but I still went ahead loving you more than ever…”

She proclaimed, and was about leaving when I grab her hand, pulling her back. I suddenly regretted holding her, but what else can I do..i’m not feeling myself now..she is really hurt..letting her go this way might trigger something dangerous.

Still not knowing what to do, as my mouth was so heavy to even utter a word, my eyes couldn’t look up to hers. I pulled her into a hug, as she tightened her grip on my cloth, pulling her face to my chest. Her body quiver as she sobs more.

I don’t know what to say to her to calm her down. This is not the first time a girl is confessing her love for me. I have had countless experience right from when I was a very young teenager, but I have always had a way of turning them down. None has ever gotten to me this way. Right now, I feel paralyzes, I can’t mutter a word. I feel numb and helpless; my heart arch and guilt is hovering round me, my heart beats isn’t normal...but I know I am not drunk.

“It’s ok….it’s ok” Was all I could say, patting her back

~~~~~

Gina POV

I watch as the ladies secretly converse from where I seat. It’s been three days now since we arrive this beautiful city but I haven’t set my eyes on my daughter and it’s getting annoying. Peggy has always been giving me one story or the other. I am beginning to think something has gone wrong. Where is Ariel? And why haven’t they been able to reach her for days now?

Peggy stated that she had been calling her but her umber isn’t reachable. But what I need now is to see Ariel, I miss her so much. I notice that there was no piece of her picture in the house, only that of Peggy and Scarlet, or isn’t this Ariel’s house like they claimed. I’m beginning to get suspicious of their strange attitudes. I pray God helps me.