Chapter 3: New Beginning

New Beginnings

KENYA POV

A few days passed, and I continued wallowing in the pits of hell with pain being the highlight of my every waking moment. Nothing I did seemed to be bringing me solace or consolation I very much needed after that long crusade through hell, and each day the seed in my womb continued growing. 

Knowing of its existence, knowing that I was carrying a piece of me and Royal inside of me did not help at all. The fact alone was a double-edged sword, and it pierced through me so hard that I couldn’t breathe.

There was a point in my life where my whole life revolved around that man, and every grail of my soul knew I would move mountains for him.

Had I known how I would fall from grace and crush onto the ground into countless smithereens, I would not have been such a fool and believed true love and happily ever after existed.

Or maybe they did, but I was not cut out for that.

But through it all, gratitude simmered on low with Anna as she remained stoic and unmoving by my side, not even once letting me feel the loneliness of life as a whole. Had it not been her presence that was overshadowing my pitiful existence, only God knows what could have happened.

Two days back, the two of us had gone to pick up my stuff from the house, and entering that house felt like I was walking on water. 

Like everything else was a dream. 

Everything else was still in its place, with the memory of us etched on every single thing in that house. The only thing missing was the us, and my heart could not contain the pain of it all being over.

Today, I decided to get up and continue with my life. 

Yes, it hurt… Yes, I wished I could just disappear, or run and hide in a pain-free world where none of this would hurt this much. But that world was only a dream, and I had to get up and continue with my own life because the earth didn't stop rotating, and life didn't halt for me to lick my wounds clean.

“So…” Anna took a sip of her hot chocolate while staring intently at me. Her hot gaze was burning holes in the side of my face, and I wished she wasn’t so attentive at times. Maybe I would have a hole to hide in!

“Are you going to tell Captain Asshole about the baby?” The question came unbidden, but it was not a shock because the thought had been rotating in my head for the whole day.

I remained quiet for a few seconds before sighing out loud and shutting the laptop that was open in front of me. 

Did he deserve it though? After brazenly telling me that two years of my life spent with him was a mistake? Did he deserve to know of this baby when he clearly told me we weren't good for each other?

Would telling him to bring him back into my arm again? Or he was better off living his life on his own without the constraints of a marriage he didn't want?

I turned fully to Anna and then pursed my lips.

Gosh, I felt so terrible. And I sure as hell looked just as terrible.

I had a terrible headache as though the giants were popping a party in my head, and my eyes were puffy from all the crying. I don’t even wanna get on the swollen cheeks and shit.

I just didn't look my best.

“Well, if you want my honest opinion, I think you should. He needs to know that you are going to have a baby and that he needs to support it. You didn't put that seed inside of you.” She said with a casual shrug, not trying to sugarcoat the whole situation.

I faced down onto my lap for a heartbeat, then recalled the look on Royal’s face when I told him I wasn’t going to sign the papers because we were still in love and shit.

The sheer disbelief, and disgust, his piercing words about how it was my fault for investing in the wrong guy. 

Tears threatened to spill through my eyes, but I swallowed them down and then brushed a hand through my hair before staring at Anna.

“Or you can get rid of it. Yes, you are in your late term of the first trimester but…” She raised her cup to her mouth for another lungful sip. “-It’s not too late to send it back to the factory and start your life anew.” 

“I am going to keep the baby,” I stated because the mere thought of getting rid of this seed inside me sent sirens ringing in my head.

What if my little bun was my only chance at being a mother?

What if the life I was carrying was the consolation I sought so badly?

There was no way I could live with myself if I ever killed him!

“I am going to keep the baby, and I am going to give him the best life he could ever imagine. He is going to have everything he has ever wanted, father, or no father. Royal doesn’t need to know about him. He gave up on him even before he knew about him so no… I am not telling him.” I was suddenly fueled by some unknown force, but grim determination brewed in my chest, and a voice inside of me told me that I had just made the best decision ever.

“What if it's a girl?” Anna asked with a hint of a smile on her face. I responded with a smile of my own,

“Then she is going to be a princess. And she is going to have the best life one could ever ask for." And that I swore with every fiber of my being. 

As for the sperm donor, he might as well go to hell and die!

If he thought he destroyed my life, then he didn't know who Kenya Brown was!