Mag-log inShare
Chapter 4 - Life Outside
Huling Na-update:
2024-06-27 17:05:59It's Monday. so that means it's a school day. I opted to walk to school instead of taking the bus. Fun fact about me, I hate other people. So I avoid them.
It's not a long walk, it's about a mile or so.
When I get to the school gate I take a deep breath and let the air fill out my entire chest. I use the breath as a reminder that I can get through this day. I let it it slowly as I start to enter the schoolyard.
The students are loud, and the bus is releasing so many fumes making it hard to breathe in any fresh air. The parking lot is filled with all types of cars. The chaos is so much that I almost turn around to go back home.
"Good morning." Tamrin, my oldest friend sings as she walks towards me from her parked car. I turn to look at her in surprise. I didn't even see her waiting for me. I was so wrapped up in all the noise that I would have walked right past her.
I know I said I hate people but Tamrin and Sadie are the two of the three people I like in this world. I don't know why they keep me around because I'm mostly a wet blanket but you know what they love me and care about me no matter what mood I'm in.
"You're in a very cheery mood," I say as she wraps one arm around me making me slow down a little.
"And you're not." She says her smile going away.
"I was until this morning," I say pointing to all of the things around me that make me sad.
"Well, I can't blame you. School sucks." She says and I nod in agreement. But I know our mutual agreement won't last long. She has a but coming. "But..." And there it is. "We can't let the things we can't control dictate how we feel." She says grabbing me by the shoulders and making me stop. "You have to try to find some happiness." She says looking deeply into my eyes. I stare back at her wishing I had the same outlook as her. I wish I could move on from hurt the same way she can.
"What nugget of wisdom is Tamrin giving out today?" Sadie says coming to stand next to me. Tamrin let me go so I can hug Sadie.
"She is teaching me how to find happiness in the gloom," I say and Sadie rolls her eyes at my statement.
"Okay, it's going to be one of those weeks," Sadie says giving Tamrin a hug as well. "I can't promise that I'll be the most joyful person in your circle but I'll try to be at least tolerable." She says and Tamrin smiles somewhat satisfied with that.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't The Golden Girls" Presley says walking towards us. I step back letting her greet the other girls. She ignores me and links arms the the two of them. They start walking in front of me and I follow knowing my place. Presley is Tamrin's cousin, so she comes with the package. If it were up to her I would be kicked out of the group and they would be The Golden girls.
But Tamrin refuses to do that because she actually likes and she has to like Presley because they're family.
We walk into the school hallway and my day officially begins.
"Celeste." Mr. Hayman says when we walk past his office. I stop and look back at him. "Can I talk to you for a second?" He says and I almost say no but I don't think students are allowed to say no to the principal. I turn back and head to his office. I wonder what this is about.
Kaugnay na kabanata
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 5 - Probation
"Alrighty. Have a seat." The principal says taking a seat behind the desk. He waits for me to sit down in one of the chairs in front of the desk and then he smiles at me. "How are you this morning?" He says looking at me closely.I fake a smile and nod. "I'm good" I add hoping he believes me. He's known for seeing bullshit from a mile away. The students have a running theory that he's some sort of vampire that can read people's minds."Are you sure?" He asks looking me straight in the eyes. I keep a straight face and make sure to blink as normally as I can. I don't want to give anything away or else I'll be stuck in a 3 hour therapy session with him."Yes," I say smiling so it seems like I am really good. I channel Tamrin's advice and try to project positivity towards him. "I'm sure," I say and he nods somewhat convinced. I sigh in relief on the inside happy that he fell for that. Victory!!! I scream in my head."I want to talk to
Huling Na-update : 2024-06-28I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 6 - Packing order
At Lunch The three of us are sitting under a huge willow tree behind the school gym. It's the only place that's quiet enough that we can have our lunch, and a great conversation and not feel like everyone is breathing down our necks. Most of the school prefers the cafeteria so that's a no-go zone for me. "Are you okay?" Tamrin asks tapping my hip softly. I look at her and blink a few times to bring my mind back to the present. I realised then that I'd zoned off a little. I smile and nod, which makes her frown. "You know, you'd be very pretty if you put in some effort," Presley says coming to stand between Tamrin and I. "We'll talk later," Tamrin whispers to me as her cousin squeezes between us. I scooch over giving her the space she's so openly demanding. I don't have the time or energy to argue with her about how rude this is." I mean you could let your hair down every once and then" She says moving her
Huling Na-update : 2024-06-29I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 7 - Boyfriend?
"Sex is not everything," I say and she laughs out loud like I said the funniest thing in the world."Only people that don't have sex say that." She says sticking her tongue at me. I chuckle a little because Presley is sure the sun rises and sets in her ass. "Wait!" She says as if she just realized something. "Are you a virgin?" She asks squealing at me. "Yes," I say and she gasps like I am an alien that's vile and needs to be killed."OMG!!" She says and then she touches my shoulder. I look at her hand on my shoulder and then I look at her again. "You've got to be kidding me. She adds and I shrug at her statement and shock."Am I supposed to be ashamed?" I ask confused by her behaviour."Yes!" She says and I groan, annoyed. "You're a good-looking girl. When you try. "She says pointing up and down at me."No," I say disagreeing with her."T
Huling Na-update : 2024-06-30I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 8 - Boyfriend Indeed
There's no one happier than me at the end of the day. I love walking out of these gates. I have to admit it wasn't the best day but I'm glad it's over. "Celeste" I hear a very familiar voice say as I start walking home and I curse myself for not wearing my headphones. I could have pretended to not hear him and walked away. Now I have to acknowledge him. I look to my left and there he is. Liam! He's leaning against his car like he owns the world."Yes." I say with so much annoyance in my voice it shocks me. "How are you?" He asks and I sigh."Why?' I ask and he laughs. He takes a few steps towards me and I take a couple away from him. He stops walking raising his arms in defense. I stop walking and he takes a deep breath and then he lets it out. "I'm trying to be kind," He says and I shake my head at his answer. "And I just want to say hi. Like normal people do." He says and I frown."I'm not normal," I say and he nods."I see that." He says and I laugh. I catch myself and then I
Huling Na-update : 2024-07-01I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 9 - Slow
When I get home I am hit with this heavy feeling of loss. I can tell my mother hasn't moved from her bed since I left for school this morning. That means she didn't go to work again. I don't even know if she still has a job. Her work bag is still on the kitchen counter. The breakfast I made is untouched and all of the curtains are still closed. I open them and warm the food I left for her in the microwave. Then head to my bedroom. I have to start on my game plan for getting my grades up. I would love to go check on my mother but I can't place my energy on her right now. Seeing her is going to drain me completely. And if you didn't notice I am holding on by a thread. I open my bedroom door and stare at the pile of clothes on the floor, the unmade bed, and the overall mess."Well, this is bad," I say to the empty and messy room. I throw my book bag on the bed and attack the laundry on the floor. I separate the clothes in matching colors and then I make my bed. A part of me wants to
Huling Na-update : 2024-07-02I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 10 - Normal
I walk through Jimmy's front door with my earphones on and head straight to the line leading towards the counter. There are six people ahead of me. I should spend about 15 minutes here and then I'll have my food. I turn up the volume in my headphones so I won't hear any noise around me.There are about 20 tables in this place and just about every one of them is full of humans. Some are staring at their phones pretending to be together, while some are talking over each other trying to be louder so the other can hear. Socializing is weird, why do people even bother? I don't do it unless I'm absolutely forced to.It's too time and energy-consuming for my liking. I shuffle forward grateful that I am finally making progress. I let my mind drift to the five-page essay I have to finish. I'm halfway through and determined to finish it by morning. It's the first assignment I want to submit, and then I'll deal with the rest.I feel someone tap my shoulder lightly and I turn slowly. I look ba
Huling Na-update : 2024-07-03I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 11 - Thoughts
I stand there for a moment, processing the interaction. Liam's sudden appearance and departure leave me feeling disoriented. I shake it off and step forward as the line moves, my mind bouncing between the essay and the encounter. I'm too stressed out to be dealing with all this.Liam's newfound interest in me is the main thing that gives me the most stress. Why won't he leave me alone?Finally, it's my turn. I order my usual—to medium pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese—and pay the cashier. They give me a number and tell me it'll be about ten minutes. I find a corner to stand in, away from the tables and the people.I can see Liam sitting with his friends or it could be his minions out of the corner of my eye. I turn my back to the right so I don't look at him by accident.I hate the fact that he intrigues me. He shouldn't, people like him are dangerous. He sells drugs for a living. He has people that steal and kill for him.
Huling Na-update : 2024-07-04I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 12 - An All Nighter
I force myself to sit at my desk and focus. The glowing screen of my laptop seems to taunt me with the blank document. The essay is due tomorrow, and it’s not going to write itself. With a deep breath, I start typing.My fingers fly over the keys, pouring out the arguments and points I’ve been mulling over for days. I’ve done the research; now it’s just a matter of getting it all down. Every so often, I glance at my math textbook, the assignment another weight on my shoulders.I take a short break after finishing the introduction and the first couple of paragraphs. The essay is taking shape, but I still have a long way to go. I stretch, drink some water, and take a moment to clear my head before diving back in.Hours pass. I’m lost in a haze of words and numbers. The clock on my desk ticks steadily towards midnight, but I barely notice. I’m too absorbed in my work, too determined to get everything done. The essay is nearly complete, and I feel a surge of satisfaction as I type the fin
Huling Na-update : 2024-07-05
Pinakabagong kabanata
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 205 -The air is cold
The air is cold, but I barely feel it. My fingers flex at my sides, itching for the moment I get to wrap them around Trevor’s throat.A few meters away, the house stands in the darkness, barely lit by the moon. Celeste is in there. I can feel it, like some invisible tether between us. She’s so close I can almost smell her—vanilla and something soft, something warm.Nathan steps up beside me. I don’t have to look at him to know what he’s thinking. We’ve run through this plan a hundred times. We both breathe slowly, measured, in sync. If we let the rage take over now, we’ll lose. We need to do this right.Behind us, the rest of my men are waiting, silent shadows in the night. Five hundred of them. A small army, but that’s what it takes when yo
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 204 - Call off the dogs
Nathan and I are staring at the screen, watching the dot move. Every second it inches closer to its destination, my pulse beats harder, my hands clench tighter. I should be in my car already, speeding toward her. I should be ending this.But I can’t rush this.One mistake, and Celeste might never make it out alive.I take a slow breath, forcing myself to think. Trevor’s still pissed about today—I saw it in his eyes, the way his mask slipped for just a second. He’s getting sloppy. That’s why Tamrin was able to slip one on him, why he hasn’t even realized she did. He thinks he still has control, but we’re the ones pulling the strings now."One more day," I say, more to myself than to Nathan.
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 203 - Tracking
My hands are trembling so hard I can barely hold the phone. My chest feels tight, like there isn’t enough air in the room, but I force myself to breathe. In and out. In and out. I can’t fall apart now. Not when I finally made a move.Sadie sits next to me, watching silently. She hasn’t asked a single question since I took her phone, but she doesn’t have to. I know she’s thinking them. I know she wants to yell at me, shake me, demand answers. But she doesn’t. Maybe she knows I don’t have the strength to explain right now.Nathan answers on the second ring. His voice is sharp, alert. “Who’s this?”“It’s Tamrin.” My voice barely comes out, but I swallow the lump in my throat and force myself to continue. “I hid my phone in Trevor’s car so you can track him. I’ll send you the details now.”Silence. Then a sharp breath on the other end. “You—” he starts, but I don’t give him a chance to question me. I end the call and immediately go to the tracking app on my phone, sending the location str
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 202 - Grip
The drive back feels like it lasts forever, and every minute of it makes my stomach churn with dread. Trevor’s words hang in the air, thick and suffocating. He doesn’t stop talking, doesn’t stop reminding me of everything he’s capable of, and how easily he could ruin my life if I even think about crossing him. Every threat is sharp, like a blade cutting through my chest. He tells me he will kill me, kill my family, that no one would ever know what happened to Celeste or that I was involved.The fear grips me harder with each passing second. It feels like I’m suffocating in this car, trapped in this nightmare I can’t escape. I can’t say anything. I just nod, keep my eyes on the road, my breath shallow, praying he’ll just let me go. But it never comes. The torment doesn’t stop.Finally, when the car pulls up in front of my house, I feel my body go stiff. Trevor grabs my thigh, his fingers digging in deep, hard enough to bruise. The pain flares up immediately, sharp and relentless, and I
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 2001 - Terrified
I’m sitting in Trevor’s car, my hands trembling so badly I can barely keep them on my lap. My head is pounding, each beat of my heart sending sharp pangs of pain through my chest. I don’t know what he’s going to do to me. I can barely look him in the eye, even though he’s sitting right next to me, his cold presence suffocating me in this small space.How did I end up here? I can’t even remember when it started to go so wrong. I thought he was different. I thought he was charming, charismatic, someone who could make me feel like I mattered. I let myself believe he cared. I even slept with him—let him do things to me that I’m ashamed of now. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could somehow erase the last few months of my life.But I can’t. I’m trapped.I don’t know when I started to see the darkness in him, when it became clear that Trevor was a monster. I was too blind, too naïve to see
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 200 - What do you know?
The car rolls to a stop in front of the abandoned building. The windows are boarded up, and the air around here smells stale, like no one’s been within a hundred miles for years. I park with precision, the crunch of gravel beneath the tires settling in my ears. Tamrin doesn’t say anything, but I can see her eyes darting around, her body stiffening with every passing second. She’s terrified, and it’s exactly what I want.I turn to look at her, my gaze dark and unrelenting. There’s a moment of silence, thick and suffocating, before I speak.“Tamrin,” I say, my voice low and commanding. “What happened when you came back?”She looks at me, trying to hide the fear behind her eyes, but I see through it. “What do you mean?” she says, trying to play dumb, but I can hear the tremor in her
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 199 - Pay you a visit
I pull up to Tamrin’s place, the tires crunching softly as I stop in the driveway. My hands tighten on the steering wheel for a moment, the anger from my conversation with Liam still simmering beneath my skin. The asshole had the nerve to think he could intimidate me. It’s all a game to him, but he doesn't understand what I’m capable of.I pick up my phone, dialing Tamrin’s number. It rings a few times before she picks up.“Yeah?” Her voice is tentative, like she already knows something's wrong.“Come outside,” I tell her, making sure my voice is low and controlled.There’s a long pause on the other end, but I wait. I know she’ll come.
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 198 - Trails
I’m burning. Not just with anger—but with something deeper, something uglier.I stalk to my car, muttering under my breath, fists clenched so tight my nails dig into my palms. I need to hit something, break something—tear Liam apart with my bare hands.I drop into the driver’s seat and slam the door shut, gripping the wheel so hard it creaks under my fingers. My breathing is heavy, uneven. I clench my jaw so tight my teeth ache.And then I snap.My fist flies into the steering wheel, over and over again, the impact rattling up my arm. But it’s not enough. The rage is still clawing at me, scratching under my skin, demanding an outlet.I start the car, chest heaving, mind racing. Liam thinks he can play games with me? Give me an ultimatum? Like he’s the one in control?I pull out of the driveway too fast, tires screeching against the pavement. And then I see it—a car pulling out just as I do.I
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 197 - A visit
Trevor is standing on my lawn like he owns the place. Like he belongs here. His hands are stuffed in his pockets, his shoulders loose, like he isn’t the reason I haven’t slept in weeks. Like he isn’t the reason Celeste is gone.I keep walking, my pace easy, controlled. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my rage.He hears me approaching and turns, his face twisting into a smirk."You like what you see?" I ask, my voice steady.He nods, his smirk widening. "Give this to me, and I’ll give you what you really want."I exhale through my nose, barely holding back a laugh. He really thinks I’m desperate enough to give up everything just because he says so.I w
