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Chapter 3 - Darkness
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2024-06-26 17:25:39An hour later I walk into the house with five grocery bags plastered to my body. I could have made a couple of trips to the car to get everything into the house but I don't have time for that. But that means I'm balancing eggs, milk and vinegar with every inch of my body so they don't fall.
Now I have to admit I'm crazy for doing this but I'm almost there. When I get to the kitchen I slide my whole body down so I can place the bags down without breaking anything. I'm glad no one is here to see this because I'm sure I look stupid. If the fate of a dozen eggs wasn't in my hand I would have laughed. I breathe a sigh of relief when everything is safely placed on the ground. Now I have to put it away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20 minutes later "Mom," I call out at her bedroom door. I doubt she's awake yet. I didn't hear any movement from her room when I woke up earlier and there's still no movement now. "I made you breakfast" I and push the door open with the tray in my hands. I walk into the dark room heading for her bed. "Mom, are you awake?" I ask when I don't get a response. "I'm up baby," She says her voice hoarse, like she hasn't spoken in a long time. "I have food for you here," I say walking to the empty side of the bed. I place the tray on the bed and watch her turn slowly to look towards me. "Thank you. You're the sweetest." She says sitting up. I wait for her to reach for the food but she doesn't instead she closes her eyes like she's falling back to sleep. "You're going to eat right?" ask and she opens her eyes so quickly that I frightened her. "Yes, yes." She says and she reaches for the tea. I watch her take a sip and then she takes a slice of toast. I stand there waiting for her to get in a few bites before I leave. I hate doing this but if I don't she's not going to eat. I don't want to go through another weekend where she collapses because she didn't eat enough. "This is really good, thank you." She says and I smile. I want her to eat some of the eggs and sausage but she's just biting at the toast. "The eggs are great too. They might be the best eggs I've made in a very long time." I say gently coaxing her to eat more. She smiles but she doesn't eat any of it. "I'll be in my bedroom if you need anything," I say walking out. I don't want to fight with her. She'll eat more if she wants to. I can't force her. I'll come back and try to convince her to eat lunch. But for now, I have 4 hours to not worry about her eating habits.Related chapters
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 4 - Life Outside
It's Monday. so that means it's a school day. I opted to walk to school instead of taking the bus. Fun fact about me, I hate other people. So I avoid them.It's not a long walk, it's about a mile or so.When I get to the school gate I take a deep breath and let the air fill out my entire chest. I use the breath as a reminder that I can get through this day. I let it it slowly as I start to enter the schoolyard.
Last Updated : 2024-06-27I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 5 - Probation
"Alrighty. Have a seat." The principal says taking a seat behind the desk. He waits for me to sit down in one of the chairs in front of the desk and then he smiles at me. "How are you this morning?" He says looking at me closely.I fake a smile and nod. "I'm good" I add hoping he believes me. He's known for seeing bullshit from a mile away. The students have a running theory that he's some sort of vampire that can read people's minds."Are you sure?" He asks looking me straight in the eyes. I keep a straight face and make sure to blink as normally as I can. I don't want to give anything away or else I'll be stuck in a 3 hour therapy session with him."Yes," I say smiling so it seems like I am really good. I channel Tamrin's advice and try to project positivity towards him. "I'm sure," I say and he nods somewhat convinced. I sigh in relief on the inside happy that he fell for that. Victory!!! I scream in my head."I want to talk to
Last Updated : 2024-06-28I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 6 - Packing order
At Lunch The three of us are sitting under a huge willow tree behind the school gym. It's the only place that's quiet enough that we can have our lunch, and a great conversation and not feel like everyone is breathing down our necks. Most of the school prefers the cafeteria so that's a no-go zone for me. "Are you okay?" Tamrin asks tapping my hip softly. I look at her and blink a few times to bring my mind back to the present. I realised then that I'd zoned off a little. I smile and nod, which makes her frown. "You know, you'd be very pretty if you put in some effort," Presley says coming to stand between Tamrin and I. "We'll talk later," Tamrin whispers to me as her cousin squeezes between us. I scooch over giving her the space she's so openly demanding. I don't have the time or energy to argue with her about how rude this is." I mean you could let your hair down every once and then" She says moving her
Last Updated : 2024-06-29I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 7 - Boyfriend?
"Sex is not everything," I say and she laughs out loud like I said the funniest thing in the world."Only people that don't have sex say that." She says sticking her tongue at me. I chuckle a little because Presley is sure the sun rises and sets in her ass. "Wait!" She says as if she just realized something. "Are you a virgin?" She asks squealing at me. "Yes," I say and she gasps like I am an alien that's vile and needs to be killed."OMG!!" She says and then she touches my shoulder. I look at her hand on my shoulder and then I look at her again. "You've got to be kidding me. She adds and I shrug at her statement and shock."Am I supposed to be ashamed?" I ask confused by her behaviour."Yes!" She says and I groan, annoyed. "You're a good-looking girl. When you try. "She says pointing up and down at me."No," I say disagreeing with her."T
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There's no one happier than me at the end of the day. I love walking out of these gates. I have to admit it wasn't the best day but I'm glad it's over. "Celeste" I hear a very familiar voice say as I start walking home and I curse myself for not wearing my headphones. I could have pretended to not hear him and walked away. Now I have to acknowledge him. I look to my left and there he is. Liam! He's leaning against his car like he owns the world."Yes." I say with so much annoyance in my voice it shocks me. "How are you?" He asks and I sigh."Why?' I ask and he laughs. He takes a few steps towards me and I take a couple away from him. He stops walking raising his arms in defense. I stop walking and he takes a deep breath and then he lets it out. "I'm trying to be kind," He says and I shake my head at his answer. "And I just want to say hi. Like normal people do." He says and I frown."I'm not normal," I say and he nods."I see that." He says and I laugh. I catch myself and then I
Last Updated : 2024-07-01I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 9 - Slow
When I get home I am hit with this heavy feeling of loss. I can tell my mother hasn't moved from her bed since I left for school this morning. That means she didn't go to work again. I don't even know if she still has a job. Her work bag is still on the kitchen counter. The breakfast I made is untouched and all of the curtains are still closed. I open them and warm the food I left for her in the microwave. Then head to my bedroom. I have to start on my game plan for getting my grades up. I would love to go check on my mother but I can't place my energy on her right now. Seeing her is going to drain me completely. And if you didn't notice I am holding on by a thread. I open my bedroom door and stare at the pile of clothes on the floor, the unmade bed, and the overall mess."Well, this is bad," I say to the empty and messy room. I throw my book bag on the bed and attack the laundry on the floor. I separate the clothes in matching colors and then I make my bed. A part of me wants to
Last Updated : 2024-07-02I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 10 - Normal
I walk through Jimmy's front door with my earphones on and head straight to the line leading towards the counter. There are six people ahead of me. I should spend about 15 minutes here and then I'll have my food. I turn up the volume in my headphones so I won't hear any noise around me.There are about 20 tables in this place and just about every one of them is full of humans. Some are staring at their phones pretending to be together, while some are talking over each other trying to be louder so the other can hear. Socializing is weird, why do people even bother? I don't do it unless I'm absolutely forced to.It's too time and energy-consuming for my liking. I shuffle forward grateful that I am finally making progress. I let my mind drift to the five-page essay I have to finish. I'm halfway through and determined to finish it by morning. It's the first assignment I want to submit, and then I'll deal with the rest.I feel someone tap my shoulder lightly and I turn slowly. I look ba
Last Updated : 2024-07-03I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 11 - Thoughts
I stand there for a moment, processing the interaction. Liam's sudden appearance and departure leave me feeling disoriented. I shake it off and step forward as the line moves, my mind bouncing between the essay and the encounter. I'm too stressed out to be dealing with all this.Liam's newfound interest in me is the main thing that gives me the most stress. Why won't he leave me alone?Finally, it's my turn. I order my usual—to medium pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese—and pay the cashier. They give me a number and tell me it'll be about ten minutes. I find a corner to stand in, away from the tables and the people.I can see Liam sitting with his friends or it could be his minions out of the corner of my eye. I turn my back to the right so I don't look at him by accident.I hate the fact that he intrigues me. He shouldn't, people like him are dangerous. He sells drugs for a living. He has people that steal and kill for him.
Last Updated : 2024-07-04
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I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 136 - Not a coincidence
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I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 135 - Lost Control
The warehouse feels suffocating. The air is thick with tension, and every sound—footsteps, whispers, the scrape of crates being moved—grates on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. My fists are clenched so tightly my knuckles ache. Every cell in my body is screaming for release, for violence, for something to break.I sit at the edge of the makeshift desk, staring at nothing, replaying Eric’s words over and over in my head. They’re coming for more. They’re going to take everything from you. My empire is being chipped away, and all I can think about is how much I want to make whoever did this pay.A shuffle of hesitant footsteps behind me pulls me from my thoughts. I don’t turn around. “What?” I snap, my voice low but sharp enough to cut through the room.The kid—barely old enough to shave, one of the newer runners—steps forward. He’s holding a clipboard, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. &ldq
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 134 - The Warehouse
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I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 133 - The real World
The Ferris wheel's gentle hum fades behind us as we step off, and for a moment, everything feels calm, like the world’s giving us a break. Celeste’s laughter hangs in the air, Tamrin and Nathan’s chatter filling the space around us as we walk toward the food court. It’s a perfect night—just the four of us, blending into the crowd, no one looking twice at us, no one questioning who we are. For once, it feels like I can breathe.Then my phone buzzes, jolting me back to reality. I glance at the screen and feel my heart drop. The name flashing there is one I’ve dreaded seeing tonight. For a second, I think about ignoring it, letting it fade, but I know that’s not an option.“Be right back,” I say, stepping away from the table. I catch Nathan’s eyes as I move off to the side, and he gives me a slight nod. He knows better than to ask, but I can see the concern in his eyes.As I answer, the voice on the other
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 132 - Under the lights
I stand at the cotton candy stand with Presley, the smell of spun sugar in the air, debating whether to get pink or blue. Presley leans into her choice, laughing, and I almost forget how tangled everything feels these days. I turn around to scan the crowd, hoping to spot a familiar face—anything to take my mind off everything with Tamrin and Celeste. Then I see them, a cluster of faces in the distance, laughing and close. My stomach drops.Tamrin is standing with Celeste, Nathan, and Liam. And they’re not just standing around, either—they look like they’re together, sharing that easy, familiar vibe you only have when you're close. My gasp is barely audible, but Presley catches it. She turns to look where I’m staring, her eyes narrowing as she sees the group for herself.“What the…? Tamrin?” Presley says, clearly stunned, her face hardening as she takes it all in. It’s like watching something surreal unfold. I can b
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 131 - Look who's here
I catch sight of Tamrin the second Nathan calls her over, her face cautious, her eyes bouncing between Celeste and me. I force a polite smile as she approaches, but inside, I’m grinding my teeth. Her showing up means we’re back to pretending—like everything between Celeste and me is just casual, like she’s not the only person on my mind right now. I know Celeste feels it too; the forced smile she gives Tamrin is too practiced, too stiff. The whole scene feels like a well-rehearsed lie, and I hate it.Without saying a word, I start walking toward the Ferris wheel, letting my steps make my frustration known. It’s high up there, away from prying eyes and hushed whispers, a place where maybe, for a few moments, we don’t have to act. I dig into my pocket, pull out a few crumpled bills, and pay the attendant for a cab big enough for all of us. I glance back, calling them over.They gather around, and as we settle into the cabin, it’s
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 130 - It's a warning
The carnival’s music and laughter fill the air, but my focus is entirely on the two figures in the distance—Celeste and Liam, standing by one of the game booths, his arm just brushing hers as they both laugh. My heart pounds as I watch them, each laugh of theirs twisting something in me. Sadie’s words flood back: Maybe we judged her too harshly… Maybe we’re wrong about all of this. It feels like a thorn in my side, nagging at me as I linger on the edge of the crowd.They’re close, too close. The way Liam’s looking at her, even from here, I can feel the intensity. I can’t stop the thought from creeping in—what if they really are together? I can’t shake it, and it’s eating me alive. Suddenly, I realize I need to talk to her, to find some kind of answer in her face, some way to know the truth without jumping to conclusions. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll apologize. I push my way through the crowd, my feet carrying
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 129 - At The Carnival
The sun’s just about to dip below the horizon, casting this deep orange light over everything as we step onto the carnival grounds. It’s cool, that kind of perfect evening breeze coming off the ocean. The sound of waves rolling up the shore blends with the laughter and music around us. I glance over at Celeste and see her smiling, her hair catching the last bit of daylight, and for a moment, I feel… content. Peaceful, even.Nathan is already pulling ahead, grinning like a kid on holiday, dragging us toward the game booths. There’s a lightness to the whole scene that feels rare these days. It’s almost surreal.“Come on, Liam,” Celeste teases, looking over her shoulder at me. “Let’s see if you’re any good at carnival games or if it’s all talk.”I laugh and pull her gently toward the shooting game booth, waving a couple of tickets to the guy behind the counter. “Think you’re up for a real challenge?” I ask, raising an eyebrow as I hand her a plastic rifle.C
