LOGINShare
Chapter 1 - Defeat
Last Updated:
2024-06-24 16:20:05It's been 5 years since my father was killed
I remember it like it's happening at this very moment. He worked late like every other night of his life and on his way home he was hijacked by a bunch of stupid boys who not only took his hard-earned money. They killed him in cold blood. My mother came into my room at 4 am in the morning and shook me awake. The moment I opened my eyes I saw the horror in hers. She tried to keep it together as she told me that I was never going to see my father again. My body went cold, I couldn't speak and I couldn't move. My father was dead! I don't remember how the funeral went because I was numb the whole time. All I remember is that he was put in the ground and that was it. And today when I woke up that numbness overtook me like it does every anniversary of his death. It starts in my feet and then it travels all the way to my chest. This ice-cold feeling grips me until I feel like I can't breathe. I've learned to force my body to function with the pain but today it feels worse. It took every will of my power to get out of bed and head to the grocery store. I know my mother won't have the strength to get out of bed today so I have to make sure that she has food and the house is clean. Like me, she goes through the same grief I do every year. Only hers is unbearable. She hasn't been the same since that night five years ago. A part of her died the day my father died. She still has that same zombie-like look t her face. She barely registers what's going on around her and I am the only one keeping her alive by making sure she's fed and she remember to go to work every day. But on the anniversary of her death, I let her be. I don't remind her about her responsibilities. I just let her cry and mourn her husband for one full day. The woes of the world will matter tomorrow. I thank the calender gods that it's Sunday today so neither of us has to call in sick at work and school for me. All I have to do is fill up the fridge clean the house and go back to bed myself. I pull up to the grocery store parking lot and groan in despair when I see who is standing outside the main entrance. Raymond the neighbourhood gand lord and his minions. I hate him. I hate what he does and I hate what he represents. He walks around acting like killing people, stealing and getting kids addicted to drugs is amazing but he needs to go to help. I reach into the backseat of my mother's car for my headphones and put them on. Connect to my music on the phone and turn the volume all the way up. I can face the world.
Related chapters
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 2 - She's The One
"Hi." I say to Celeste as she walks past my car. She ignores me and I say it again. "Hi," I say again and she passes by without a word. I stare at her in shock. I've been nothing but nice to this girl but she's always been mean.I follow her into to the store wondering what it would take for her to just say hello to me. I have been waiting for her to give me the light of day for a year now.I reach out and touch her arm softly. She just and then screams making me stop in my tracks."What the hell?" She says swatting my hand away, she looks up at me with a snarl on her face and it makes me smile. "And what the fuck are you smiling at?" She says taking her headphones off."I didn't know you had such a potty mouth," I say amused and she scawls at me."Wha do you want?" She says annoyed."I wanted to say hi to you," I say and she rolls her eyes at me. I smile surprised by her reaction. "And introduce myself," I say
Last Updated : 2024-06-25I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 3 - Darkness
An hour later I walk into the house with five grocery bags plastered to my body. I could have made a couple of trips to the car to get everything into the house but I don't have time for that. But that means I'm balancing eggs, milk and vinegar with every inch of my body so they don't fall.Now I have to admit I'm crazy for doing this but I'm almost there.When I get to the kitchen I slide my whole body down so I can place the bags down without breaking anything. I'm glad no one is here to see this because I'm sure I look stupid. If the fate of a dozen eggs wasn't in my hand I would have laughed.I breathe a sigh of relief when everything is safely placed on the ground.Now I have to put it away.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------20 minutes later"Mom," I call out at her bedroom door. I doubt she's awake yet. I didn't hear any movement
Last Updated : 2024-06-26I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 4 - Life Outside
It's Monday. so that means it's a school day. I opted to walk to school instead of taking the bus. Fun fact about me, I hate other people. So I avoid them.It's not a long walk, it's about a mile or so.When I get to the school gate I take a deep breath and let the air fill out my entire chest. I use the breath as a reminder that I can get through this day. I let it it slowly as I start to enter the schoolyard.
Last Updated : 2024-06-27I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 5 - Probation
"Alrighty. Have a seat." The principal says taking a seat behind the desk. He waits for me to sit down in one of the chairs in front of the desk and then he smiles at me. "How are you this morning?" He says looking at me closely.I fake a smile and nod. "I'm good" I add hoping he believes me. He's known for seeing bullshit from a mile away. The students have a running theory that he's some sort of vampire that can read people's minds."Are you sure?" He asks looking me straight in the eyes. I keep a straight face and make sure to blink as normally as I can. I don't want to give anything away or else I'll be stuck in a 3 hour therapy session with him."Yes," I say smiling so it seems like I am really good. I channel Tamrin's advice and try to project positivity towards him. "I'm sure," I say and he nods somewhat convinced. I sigh in relief on the inside happy that he fell for that. Victory!!! I scream in my head."I want to talk to
Last Updated : 2024-06-28I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 6 - Packing order
At Lunch The three of us are sitting under a huge willow tree behind the school gym. It's the only place that's quiet enough that we can have our lunch, and a great conversation and not feel like everyone is breathing down our necks. Most of the school prefers the cafeteria so that's a no-go zone for me. "Are you okay?" Tamrin asks tapping my hip softly. I look at her and blink a few times to bring my mind back to the present. I realised then that I'd zoned off a little. I smile and nod, which makes her frown. "You know, you'd be very pretty if you put in some effort," Presley says coming to stand between Tamrin and I. "We'll talk later," Tamrin whispers to me as her cousin squeezes between us. I scooch over giving her the space she's so openly demanding. I don't have the time or energy to argue with her about how rude this is." I mean you could let your hair down every once and then" She says moving her
Last Updated : 2024-06-29I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 7 - Boyfriend?
"Sex is not everything," I say and she laughs out loud like I said the funniest thing in the world."Only people that don't have sex say that." She says sticking her tongue at me. I chuckle a little because Presley is sure the sun rises and sets in her ass. "Wait!" She says as if she just realized something. "Are you a virgin?" She asks squealing at me. "Yes," I say and she gasps like I am an alien that's vile and needs to be killed."OMG!!" She says and then she touches my shoulder. I look at her hand on my shoulder and then I look at her again. "You've got to be kidding me. She adds and I shrug at her statement and shock."Am I supposed to be ashamed?" I ask confused by her behaviour."Yes!" She says and I groan, annoyed. "You're a good-looking girl. When you try. "She says pointing up and down at me."No," I say disagreeing with her."T
Last Updated : 2024-06-30I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 8 - Boyfriend Indeed
There's no one happier than me at the end of the day. I love walking out of these gates. I have to admit it wasn't the best day but I'm glad it's over. "Celeste" I hear a very familiar voice say as I start walking home and I curse myself for not wearing my headphones. I could have pretended to not hear him and walked away. Now I have to acknowledge him. I look to my left and there he is. Liam! He's leaning against his car like he owns the world."Yes." I say with so much annoyance in my voice it shocks me. "How are you?" He asks and I sigh."Why?' I ask and he laughs. He takes a few steps towards me and I take a couple away from him. He stops walking raising his arms in defense. I stop walking and he takes a deep breath and then he lets it out. "I'm trying to be kind," He says and I shake my head at his answer. "And I just want to say hi. Like normal people do." He says and I frown."I'm not normal," I say and he nods."I see that." He says and I laugh. I catch myself and then I
Last Updated : 2024-07-01I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 9 - Slow
When I get home I am hit with this heavy feeling of loss. I can tell my mother hasn't moved from her bed since I left for school this morning. That means she didn't go to work again. I don't even know if she still has a job. Her work bag is still on the kitchen counter. The breakfast I made is untouched and all of the curtains are still closed. I open them and warm the food I left for her in the microwave. Then head to my bedroom. I have to start on my game plan for getting my grades up. I would love to go check on my mother but I can't place my energy on her right now. Seeing her is going to drain me completely. And if you didn't notice I am holding on by a thread. I open my bedroom door and stare at the pile of clothes on the floor, the unmade bed, and the overall mess."Well, this is bad," I say to the empty and messy room. I throw my book bag on the bed and attack the laundry on the floor. I separate the clothes in matching colors and then I make my bed. A part of me wants to
Last Updated : 2024-07-02
Latest chapter
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 207 - In the dark
The sound of gunfire explodes through the night, deafening and relentless. A machine gun—no, multiple—rips through the air outside, drowning everything else out. I hear men shouting, screaming, and then the screaming turns into something else. Agony. Terror.I clamp my hands over my ears, pressing myself further into the corner of the closet, trying to disappear. My body shakes violently, my breath coming in shallow gasps as I rock back and forth. I squeeze my eyes shut and whisper a prayer under my breath, over and over."Please, God. Please, God. Please, God."The walls tremble with the force of the fight happening outside. Glass shatters somewhere. Heavy footsteps storm through the house. More gunshots. More yelling. I don’t kn
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 206 - Sounds
I wake up with a start, my heart thundering in my chest. My breath comes in ragged gasps, and for a moment, I can’t place where I am. I sit up quickly, expecting to see someone in the room with me—someone coming to hurt me, to take me again—but when my eyes adjust to the dim light, the room is empty.Just the silence.I look around, the weight of everything pressing down on me. This place—the house where Trevor has kept me locked up for weeks—has become a prison. It’s always quiet, too quiet. The only sounds are the distant hum of the outside world that I can’t reach, the creaks of the house settling, and my own restless thoughts.The darkness beyond the window is thick and consuming, the kind of darkness that swallows up the last remnants of hope. But tonight, something is different. Something feels off.I strain my ears, listening closely. There’s a faint sound, like the whisper of something moving through
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 205 -The air is cold
The air is cold, but I barely feel it. My fingers flex at my sides, itching for the moment I get to wrap them around Trevor’s throat.A few meters away, the house stands in the darkness, barely lit by the moon. Celeste is in there. I can feel it, like some invisible tether between us. She’s so close I can almost smell her—vanilla and something soft, something warm.Nathan steps up beside me. I don’t have to look at him to know what he’s thinking. We’ve run through this plan a hundred times. We both breathe slowly, measured, in sync. If we let the rage take over now, we’ll lose. We need to do this right.Behind us, the rest of my men are waiting, silent shadows in the night. Five hundred of them. A small army, but that’s what it takes when yo
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 204 - Call off the dogs
Nathan and I are staring at the screen, watching the dot move. Every second it inches closer to its destination, my pulse beats harder, my hands clench tighter. I should be in my car already, speeding toward her. I should be ending this.But I can’t rush this.One mistake, and Celeste might never make it out alive.I take a slow breath, forcing myself to think. Trevor’s still pissed about today—I saw it in his eyes, the way his mask slipped for just a second. He’s getting sloppy. That’s why Tamrin was able to slip one on him, why he hasn’t even realized she did. He thinks he still has control, but we’re the ones pulling the strings now."One more day," I say, more to myself than to Nathan.
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 203 - Tracking
My hands are trembling so hard I can barely hold the phone. My chest feels tight, like there isn’t enough air in the room, but I force myself to breathe. In and out. In and out. I can’t fall apart now. Not when I finally made a move.Sadie sits next to me, watching silently. She hasn’t asked a single question since I took her phone, but she doesn’t have to. I know she’s thinking them. I know she wants to yell at me, shake me, demand answers. But she doesn’t. Maybe she knows I don’t have the strength to explain right now.Nathan answers on the second ring. His voice is sharp, alert. “Who’s this?”“It’s Tamrin.” My voice barely comes out, but I swallow the lump in my throat and force myself to continue. “I hid my phone in Trevor’s car so you can track him. I’ll send you the details now.”Silence. Then a sharp breath on the other end. “You—” he starts, but I don’t give him a chance to question me. I end the call and immediately go to the tracking app on my phone, sending the location str
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 202 - Grip
The drive back feels like it lasts forever, and every minute of it makes my stomach churn with dread. Trevor’s words hang in the air, thick and suffocating. He doesn’t stop talking, doesn’t stop reminding me of everything he’s capable of, and how easily he could ruin my life if I even think about crossing him. Every threat is sharp, like a blade cutting through my chest. He tells me he will kill me, kill my family, that no one would ever know what happened to Celeste or that I was involved.The fear grips me harder with each passing second. It feels like I’m suffocating in this car, trapped in this nightmare I can’t escape. I can’t say anything. I just nod, keep my eyes on the road, my breath shallow, praying he’ll just let me go. But it never comes. The torment doesn’t stop.Finally, when the car pulls up in front of my house, I feel my body go stiff. Trevor grabs my thigh, his fingers digging in deep, hard enough to bruise. The pain flares up immediately, sharp and relentless, and I
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 2001 - Terrified
I’m sitting in Trevor’s car, my hands trembling so badly I can barely keep them on my lap. My head is pounding, each beat of my heart sending sharp pangs of pain through my chest. I don’t know what he’s going to do to me. I can barely look him in the eye, even though he’s sitting right next to me, his cold presence suffocating me in this small space.How did I end up here? I can’t even remember when it started to go so wrong. I thought he was different. I thought he was charming, charismatic, someone who could make me feel like I mattered. I let myself believe he cared. I even slept with him—let him do things to me that I’m ashamed of now. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could somehow erase the last few months of my life.But I can’t. I’m trapped.I don’t know when I started to see the darkness in him, when it became clear that Trevor was a monster. I was too blind, too naïve to see
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 200 - What do you know?
The car rolls to a stop in front of the abandoned building. The windows are boarded up, and the air around here smells stale, like no one’s been within a hundred miles for years. I park with precision, the crunch of gravel beneath the tires settling in my ears. Tamrin doesn’t say anything, but I can see her eyes darting around, her body stiffening with every passing second. She’s terrified, and it’s exactly what I want.I turn to look at her, my gaze dark and unrelenting. There’s a moment of silence, thick and suffocating, before I speak.“Tamrin,” I say, my voice low and commanding. “What happened when you came back?”She looks at me, trying to hide the fear behind her eyes, but I see through it. “What do you mean?” she says, trying to play dumb, but I can hear the tremor in her
I'm in love with my gangster boyfriend Chapter 199 - Pay you a visit
I pull up to Tamrin’s place, the tires crunching softly as I stop in the driveway. My hands tighten on the steering wheel for a moment, the anger from my conversation with Liam still simmering beneath my skin. The asshole had the nerve to think he could intimidate me. It’s all a game to him, but he doesn't understand what I’m capable of.I pick up my phone, dialing Tamrin’s number. It rings a few times before she picks up.“Yeah?” Her voice is tentative, like she already knows something's wrong.“Come outside,” I tell her, making sure my voice is low and controlled.There’s a long pause on the other end, but I wait. I know she’ll come.
