Chapter 4

I barely recall how I made it home. I only kept myself from sobbing until I reached Paisley’s bedroom. Not once in my life did I envy a person as much as I envied Paisley. And it wasn’t just for Carter but her family as well. And they were close- thick as thieves. Paisley spent her evenings hanging out with her parents rather than any friends because she was just that close to her family. And I?... Well, that’s another matter.

“Paisley? Are you alright?” My mother, or rather- Paisley’s mother knocked on the door. I tried to clear my throat before speaking but a tremble came out as I shouted I was fine. “You don’t sound fine. Can I come in?”

I ignored her and flipped through my journal I had been keeping since I entered this world. “Paisley?” She asked again.

“Ugh, I said I was fine, didn’t I?!” I shouted back. There was silence for a moment before Paisley’s mother murmured an ‘all right’ and left.

Groaning, I slammed my head into Paisley’s desk and mentally kicked myself for how I spoke to her. I made a mental note to apologize later when I wasn’t such a mess.

I fiddled with my desk trinkets and wrote in my journal as I thought about what I should do. Being with Beta Carter was out of the question. Just the thought of kissing him when I knew what he wanted wasn’t really me but someone else made me sick to my stomach. I felt like I had stolen Paisley’s identity and was fooling the love of her life into thinking I was her. And I couldn’t be her. I wasn’t Paisley.

After a long time deliberating, I decided that the next time I saw Beta Carter, I would keep my distance- at least the best I could- just until I leave Paisley’s body and go back to my world.

I must have fallen asleep at my desk at some point because I woke to a sensual chuckle that sent tingles down my spine. I blinked the tiredness from my eyes and found Beta Carter leaning against my open door frame, an amused smirk etched on his face- permanently it seemed.

“Did you fall asleep waiting for me?” His eyes danced with mirth and gentleness. My face made a sticky sound as it peeled itself off the smooth wood. “Must have been a good nap." He laughed. May I come in?” He nodded to the space between us.

“Depends, are you going to keep your hands to yourself?” I blurted without thinking.

“Not likely.” He leered a Cheshire cat grin at me, almost predatory in a way.

“Then no.” I stood up from my chair and casually put my journal away. By now, I finally had collected my thoughts enough to strengthen my resolve. Beta Carter blinked in quiet shock before his eyes twinkled at the challenge.

“Why so cold, mate? Did you miss me that much?” His eyes, which danced in mirth, started to narrow slightly. I simply shrugged and sat on my bed, trying desperately to figure out a way to send him away. I couldn’t even meet his gaze because I was so afraid of that raging desire for him burning through me, growing hotter every second he was in proximity to me.

Beta Carter must have taken my silence for hurt because before I knew it, he knelt before me, hands gently resting on my mid-thighs as he rubbed his thumbs in soothing circles along the inside. He tilted his head, a look of concern shining in his eyes, his russet colored brow furrowed as if trying to solve a delicate puzzle. “Did it hurt you that I left, sweetheart? Is that why you're upset?” He whispered between us, his breath mingling with mine as his gaze traveled to my lips.

I couldn’t breathe, let alone speak as his hands started slowly and sensually sliding further up my jeans. Butterflies erupted through me and made their way around my body before settling deep in my core. I gasped and stood up, putting much needed physical and mental distance between us. I crossed my arms protectively and rested against the far sided wall, trying to quiet my racing heart.

“Whoa, easy there.” Beta Carter looked over at me in surprise and held his hands up as if to ease a spooked animal. I suppose he wasn’t far off.

“You can’t just touch me whenever you feel like it.” I spat between us, ignoring the breaking of my heart from seeing the shock and hurt look on his face as he registered my words. I just needed an excuse to put distance between us before I did something I would regret, like losing Paisley’s virginity on this bedroom floor.

“I- I apologize. I shouldn’t have assumed.” His cheeks reddened but he looked down in shame. “You never need to be afraid that I’ll do something that frightens you. You have my word, I’ll never touch you without your consent.” His eyes held truth and purpose as well as his strong desire for me- one that I knew matched my own for him. I clenched my arms tighter around my stomach and bit my lip but simply nodded in thanks.

Beta Carter let out a breath of relief and sagged his shoulders. “Come sit here, mate.” He sat on the edge of the bed and patted the space beside him. “I want you to be with me.” He grinned mischievously.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I shook my head, keeping my hands wrapped around my midsection.

“I already told you I wouldn’t-” He brought up his hands as if caught ‘red-handed’.

“It’s not that.” I grumbled, my cheeks reddening.

"Oh, I see.” He smirked at me. “You’re afraid of touching me. I mean, I knew I was handsome but come on woman- have some self control.” He leaned his hands back into the bed behind him.

"I am not!” I gasped, my whole face hot and probably looking like a tomato. I couldn’t help but stomp over to him in fury.

“Whoa! Hey- stay away from me, I’m a virgin.” He crossed his arms till his hands rested inside each of his armpits protecting his chest, but his eyes showed playful mirth.

“Oh, yea I bet you are, ‘Mr. I’m So Popular I Have Hundreds Of Girls Waiting For My Arrival’.” I sneered sarcastically.

He merely grinned at me with delightful mischief. “And taking pictures of me, apparently.” He winked, no shame residing anywhere on his face.

For a moment, I wished I could take another picture- one of him right now- sitting on the bed, leaning back slightly, the afternoon light hitting his golden face from my window, lightening his russet mane till golden tresses gleamed atop his wavy curled ends. It was so beautiful, I couldn’t stop my breath catching, leaving me awestruck.

“No, I don’t think anyone would be stupid enough to waste good film on that.” I wish I had more bite behind my nearly breathless words. My body wouldn’t let me look away from his tantalizing gaze, one that made me feel hotter with every beat of my racing heart. He must have heard it too because he stood up with a dark look of determination and desire shining in his eyes. Slowly, ever so slowly, he grabbed my waist and closed the distance between us.

His eyes trapped me within his gaze like the predator he was, knowing that his prey was paralyzed in an endless pool of liquid gems. I could feel my heart pounding against his chest, no doubt showcasing just how easily I reacted to his advances. My breasts pushed against his hard chest in a way that seemed to fit just right. I had to actively force myself from pressing them up against him as if a magnet was pulling us together.

“Are you trembling, baby girl?” He murmured between us, his sensual voice vibrating off my chest and resonating in my core once more. I didn’t even realize I was in fact trembling till he pointed it out. “Do you need me that much?” His voice turned to a whisper. His nostrils flared with what I'm sure was the scent of my desire but I gulped and shook my head anyway. “Should I-”

A sudden knock sounded at the door.