Chapter 2. Bloody palms and lips

Roxanne's Point of View

I woke up feeling tiny hammers striking my head. Bee bites on my eyebags, and rough sands inside my eyes. 

'Well, maybe I drank too much wine last night. After all, it was my first night of legal age and I had a lot of new things to do. I even went to the deser-'

"Where am I?!" 

Bed, house, river, beach, club, mountain, volcano, of all the places that I would've been.

'Why do I need to be here?! Please tell me I'm just dreaming! Please! AHHHH!'

Feeling my skin burning with the scorching sun, I rounded my eyes around me to see anything that could help me but then, I just remembered that I am only wearing a pathetic blue dress, sandals, and nothing else. 

'Well, if this is what you want, you have it, brother! I don't know WHY you did this to me but I hope you'll die. After all, you are the perfect definition of a prodigal son.!'

But who am I to care anyway, I am me. The unwished true daughter, who was thrown away into the desert on her eighteenth birthday. Walking and crying all day and sleeping with t- 

"Wait, didn't I see a wolf yesterday?! Where is it? Am I not bitten yet?......."

Sigh 

'Maybe I was just hallucinating.'

Thank goodness. I want to see just another morning of my eighteen life before finally leaving.

"AHHHHH! Leaving, leaving, leaving! Why is it like that?! Why am I always forced to do that?! I'm their daughter as well, I'm a human as well, and I'm God's creation as well?!"

"Am I not?!"  

'Perhaps I am not. Perhaps I am an outsider. An alien from an evil planet that must be killed. That's right, perhaps it's what I really am. '

Deciding AT LAST what I am to people, I had no more interest in what was going to happen to me. If I stay seated and get roasted by the sun, if I stand up and run my feet until I become a dried fish of the desert, or if I just wait for that wolf to find and make me its snack, I don't care. I'll die anyway, I wouldn't even care if I'll be the one to do it NOW. Sinc-

"Brggg!"

Hearing my stomach growl, I gently caressed my cheeks to wipe away my tears. I then tore my dress's excess up until my mid-thigh. 

'Who cares about skins.' 

I helped my knees to stand up and exercised my feet up and down. Unfortunately, my brother knows how to make it harder by insisting on this sandal on me. Slowly, I started walking, towards nowhere.

'Great! I just woke up in the middle of a desert to find myself trying to look for something that could help me end my own life. What a perfect belated birthday present.' 

After spotting a group of large cactuses, I remembered that perhaps I wasn't able to see this yesterday because I was crying too much. Without wasting another second, I  immediately ran towards it. 

'Hmm, let's see. Should I just throw myself into it? Or..... should I use it to strangle my neck?.... I think the latter is more quick and clean. 

After picking my preferred way of dying, I look up at the cloudless sky one last time. The sun, directly looking at me, is the only one that is accompanying the void dry sky. That I can't even tell if it's blue or just simply white.

"How lonely of you sun, you're just like me."

Although, I know why people don't wish for you to die, because unlike me, you have a purpose to all of them. 

Smiling a farewell to the last thing that I am to see on this planet, I slowly lowered my neck down. As expected, the long and bulky cactus stands mightily in front of me like it's waiting for my hand to grip it.  

'Ahhh, never have I ever expected this. Facing my own death on the very first day of my eighteen life.'

But, at least I won't suffer, I won't die of hunger and heat that my brother pathetically expects me to. 

Taking a last deep breath, I raised and prepared my hands. 

"Hoooohaaaaa."

And.....I grabbed it- "AHHHHH!"

'OUCH! God of the desert! It REALLY hurts!' 

As I wait for the pain to subside, I also let my palms register on it. Slowly, small drops of blood are starting to tear down. Harmonizing with the unconsciously falling warm stream of water from my eyes.

I didn't realize but the cactus seemed too old and forged that its thorns are sharper and tougher than the needle. I don't want to regret but,

'Why is it so painful?! I already am so hungry and hot and, feeling so unexplainably in misery like I am going to explode yet why can I still feel the pain?!'

Blinking my eyes many times to get rid of the flood inside, I bit my lip. I didn't expect it but I am already tasting something liquid that tastes like rusting iron. 

'Well, I didn't really taste an iron but I just feel like it tastes like this because of the smell.' 

As I don't know where to continue, I remained frozen holding the cactus, like I'm its captive. After roaming inside my surprisingly functioning brain, I came out of no idea. Although, no one inside mine, whether my heart, my stomach, my feet, or my brain, has even suggested the idea of stopping my death plan. 

So, as I tighten my grip on it, I let all the pain straight to my lips. 

'If I pluck and tie you in my neck, please faithfully cut my head away from my body instantly Mr. cactus.'

"In thriii twooo one-" 

"Well well well, what do we have here?" A sudden dry voice from my back completely froze me. 

'Am I hallucinating? Or am I already dead?' 

I didn't dare to turn my head because of fear. Not the fear of getting hurt from the thorns but the fear of getting disappointed. I was about to tighten my grip again yet ceased when the voice startled my ears again.

"You seem to have a lot of blood flowing from you little woman. Your SWEET scent is embalming the whole area. Aren't I right brothers?!" 

"YOU GOT IT GAMMA!"

"YAHOO!"

"GET EM RHEOMITRES!" 

The loud chorus of shouts roared as they were quick to respond to him. Making me utterly lose my control and unconsciously shutted my eyes as I let myself be pulled into full darkness.