Mother

“Nandito na ba si Andrew?” Pagtatanong ni Karl ng makarating ito sa club room.

“Di ba sya nagsabi sayo?” Pagtatanong naman ni Sam na nagpapalit ng t-shirt.

Umiling naman si Karl.

“Isa yang masamang pangitain.” Agad namang napalingon si Karl sa umakbay sakanya. “Pag nagsimula ng hindi magsabi sayo ang tao ibig sabihin may iba-“ agad naman syang napatigil sa sasabihin nya ng binato ito sa mukha ng bola ni Dale, captain ng Silver Valley Volleyball Team, na nagpapalit din ng t-shirt sa tabi ni Sam.

“Imbis na kung ano-ano ang sabihin mo dyan Troy, magpalit ka na!” sigaw ni Dale sakanya.

Napatawa naman ng malakas si Nelson. “Kung ano-ano kasing pinagsasabi mo dyan, akala mo naman relate ka!” Pang-aasar nito na nasa likod lamang ni Troy.

“Ikaw talagang asungot ka“ wika nito tsaka na aakmang aabutin si Nelson pero agad na tumakbo ito patungo sa isa pa nilang teammate.

“HERBERT TULUNGAN MO KO!” pagmamakaawa ni Nelson dito. Malaki lalake si Herbert na lagging naka man-bun na ipit sa buhok. At sa laki nito, talaga namang matatago nya si Nelson na mas malaki lang ng kaunti kay Andrew.

“Kaya mo na yan.” Wika naman ni Herbert habang natatawa ito sakanila.

“MAGSITIGIL NGA KAYOOOOO?!?!?!!” awat naman ni Dale.

Napakamot naman si Sam sa ulo tsaka na hinila si Karl palabas ng club room.

“Nagsabi kagabi si Andrew na di sya makaka-attend ng practice ngayon dahil may pupuntahan syang importante. Alam mo namang hindi nagsi-skip ng practice si Andrew unless kailangan talaga diba? Di ba talaga sya nagsabi sayo?” Pagtatanong ni Sam kay Karl nang makalabas sila.

“Hindi e. Wala syang nabanggit kagabi.” Sagot naman ni Karl.

“Hmmm.. Tanungin mo na lang sya pagnakauwi na sya.” Payo naman ni Sam tsaka na tinapik si Karl sa likod. “Wag ka mag-alala.”

Tumango naman si Karl tsaka na tinignan ang phone nito.

******

His feet are getting heavier. The more he walks, the more he hates it. The surrounding smells like fresh grass. The chirp of the birds is echoing, making Andrew irritated.

And now he’s finally facing a black tomb; with a vase of beautiful orange fresh flowers in each sides; hinting na may nauna ng bumisita bago sya.

Andrew slowly knelt on his knees, placing the white flowers he’s been tightly holding at the front of the tomb.

He paused for a minute. Collecting all the words in his mind for this day.

“Are you happy?” he asked on the tomb.

A smile formed in his face.

“Bet you are…” he added but then pauses again.

“Do you know what day it is today? Today is your death anniversary.” He continued.

“Today is the day to celebrate your freedom.” Andrew slightly laughed at his comment.

“Look what I’m wearing for this occasion. I’m wearing a suit.” He then tugs on the hem of the suit he’s wearing.

He then laughs louder. A laugh of resentment.

“I felt sorry for you.” He murmurs while still laughing. “But I can’t be happy for you.”

Tumigil ito sa pagtawa then gazed at the tomb as if staring at it could bring back the body underneath it to life. A tears slowly fell from his eyes.

“I hate you…” he continued “I hate you as much as I hate dad. Kung di mo kami iniwan… If you didn’t take away your own life… Masaya siguro ako ngayon. You probably guided me. I never have probably…”

He breaks the silence of the surrounding by another sound of laughter.

“Ano pa bang magagawa ng pagrarant ko sayo?” Andrew said as he started standing up from his knees. “If you truly cared about me and Andrea, you wouldn’t have hanged yourself, right?” he then brushes off the dirt from his pants. “But you chose freedom from Dad. And for that, I hate you. I loathed you.”

At one last glance, he said his parting words. “If you are truly a mom yourself, you should be feeling terrible instead of having a peaceful rest right now. You could have done something you know, but you can’t… I’m leaving.”

He then walks away from his mother’s tomb.

*****

Nakatitig lang si Karl sa wall clock mula ng umuwi ito sa condo ni Andrew. Apat na oras ng hindi sya kinu-contact nito at hindi man lang nya alam kung saan ito nagpunta.

Maya-maya pa ay narinig nitong may nagbukas ng pintuan. Dali-dali itong napatayo patungo sa pintuan and from there, he saw Andrew entering.

“Andrew!” sigaw ni Karl.

“Karl.” Ngiti ni Andrew.

Agad naman syang niyakap ni Karl. “San ka galing? Bat di ka man lang nagrereply sakin o tumawag man lang? Nag-aalala ako sayo.”

Niyakap din naman sya ni Andrew. “Sorry… I’ll tell you about it some other time.”

Bakit lagi kang may nililihim sakin, Karl thought. “Why can’t you tell me now?”

“I promise; I’ll tell you about it next time. Hmm?” Tsaka na hinawakan ni Andrew ang pisngi nito.

Binitawan naman sya ni Karl at naglakad patungo sa sofa. He felt frustrated. Boyfriend sya ni Andrew for almost a year now but Andrew seems hiding lots of things from him. Ayaw nyang pilitin si Andrew to talk but he thinks it’s too much already.

Napaupo ito sa sofa. Andrew followed him.

“Are you mad?” Pagtatanong ni Andrew while standing in front of Karl. He held his cheeks in both side and made Karl faced him.

Karl stared at him for a second then gazed away.

“Anong gusto mong gawin ko for you not to get mad?” pagtatanong ni Andrew.

Pero di pa rin sumasagot si Karl.

“Alright.” Andrew held Karl’s chin and kissed him.

He was about to react but Andrew forced his tongue in between Karl’s lips. He couldn’t resist it. First time mag-initiate ni Andrew and so it made Karl’s mind went blank.

He let Andrew’s tongue swirl with his. The feeling made Karl to want more pero huminto si Andrew and pulled away from him.

“Are you still mad?” Andrew teased.

“I’ll get mad if we didn’t continue this.” Karl stood up and walked to Andrew pulling his body to him. “Apologize with your body.” He then kissed him.

*****

Karl stared at Andrew’s sleeping face. Nakahawi ang kurtina sa kwarto nila and the bright of the moon made him see Andrew’s face in the dark. His brown hair glowed like a sun under the moon’s light. It’s gorgeous, he thought while brushing it.

Yayayain sana nito itong kumain dahil di pa sila kumakain but he don’t want to disturb his sleep and besides, he loves seeing him like this.

He’s still wondering kung saan ito nagpunta. Maybe he’ll just ask him next time. While he was staring and amusing how beautiful Andrew is, he heard his phone notification. He reaches for it and saw a text from an unknown number.

“Stay away from him or you’ll regret it forever.”

A wrong message? He thought. Di nya na pinansin ito dahil madalas din naman syang natatawagan ng mga wrong number. Maybe it was one of those.

He placed his phone on the bed side table then he pulled Andrew closer to him, hugging him tightly.