"I'm a virgin."
I saw how the emotions in his eyes turned from lust to being stunned. "So honest. I did not expect that," he said before looking at me playfully. "Are you sure you are going to give up your virginity to me?""Are you brave enough to fight and chase for my virginity," I challenged him. We both ended up laughing.I could not believe I was making fun of my virginity right now. Oh gosh. I did not know that this was how to live without thinking about what other people would say and the beliefs of the society I live in. I did not expect to feel so free by being a deviant.So, what if I lose my virginity to a man who was not my husband? As long as I was knowledgeable about safe sex- I could do this. It was not like I was doing something that could hurt other people and the rest of humanity. A woman's worth should not be defined by her being a virgin. Really, virgin or not, a woman was worthy."I'm ready to fight your purity, Meredith," he said while chuckling. "Let us just call it purity instead of virginity. What do you think?"I just shook my head before laughing weakly. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of that bar. I went wherever he was taking me.The next thing I knew, we were in the bar's parking lot and in front of us was a black motorcycle- scratch that- this was a black and expensive big bike.Rupert got an extra helmet under the bike's seat and then he turned to me. I was shocked when he was the one who put the helmet on me. I could see how his lips turned into a grin even though there was a bit of distance between our faces, because of the shiny piercing on his bottom lip."There you go. You are ready for the ride, Meredith." Then he kissed the top of my right hand before tapping the helmet I was wearing."Wow. Is this what they call a man who was gentlemanly but a bit pervert?" I said and he burst into laughter."Oh, believe me, I am not that pervert yet," he answered me before lowering the cover lid in front of the helmet I was wearing."Really? Oh, I could not wait for your perverted version then," I answered, teasing him. He did not answer me. Instead, he helped me get on the motor by wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up.When I sat on his big bike, he also sat in front of me before starting the engine."Are you going to take me to a motel?" I asked him as I held on his shoulder.The motorcycle's engine roared as Rupert said, "Hold on!""I'm already clinging. What else does the- Oh!"My eyes widened as he wrapped my arm around his waist. But that's not what surprised me but where he put my right hand."This is the kind of pervert I was referring to," Rupert said before the motor started.My mouth fell open as my right hand remained where he had placed it, between his thighs, where there was something hard and bulging.I swallowed an imaginary lump in my throat as I felt the bulging thing under my palm. I started heaving deep sighs as the motorcycle's speed increased, making me hold onto him tighter."Where are you taking me, Rupert?""Hold on tight!"As if on cue, I squeezed his hard bulge and I felt his body become rigid. My throat went dry before I let go of the sensitive thing between his thighs. My gosh, we were going to be damned for doing this."Where is it?" Then I circled my two arms around his waist, choosing a safer position to avoid a motorcycle accident. The strong wind somehow helped to ease the heat I was feeling because of him "Where are we really going, Rupert?""I will ruin your purity!" he answered, making me laugh so hard. "Then I will take you to heaven."I rolled my eyes before I playfully tapped his bulge. He immediately laughed."I see. You seem so excited wherever we are going, Meredith.""Am I?" I teased him. A playful grin was not leaving my lips.***"I thought you would take me to a motel," I immediately said when the motorcycle turned into a halt in the parking space of a luxurious condominium building.I got off the motor and I was almost face-to-face with the ground when I lost my balance. I did not expect the motorcycle to be that tall. Luckily, Rupert was quick to grab me by my waist, supporting me to get down properly.He turned off the engine of his motor before removing the helmet he was wearing and got off as well. I was stunned when he was the one who removed the helmet I was wearing."You are really beautiful," he said after removing the helmet I was wearing.I blinked. Our faces were so close to each other again. Because of this distance, I was able to see the playful glint in his eyes, enjoying how flustered I was."Such a sweet talker," I replied as I recovered from my childish blush.He chuckled before his both hands made their way to my hair. I was stunned when he arranged my hair and combed it with his fingers. I could feel both of his hands caressing down my waist-length hair. The tips of his fingers could touch my arm.The speed of my heartbeat quickened. The way he caressed my hair sent chills and electricity to my already heated body. This was how he strongly impacted me."This is how long your hair used to be," he said, after putting all the strands of my hair to fall freely on my back. He cupped both my cheeks before lifting my face to meet his gaze. "I didn't expect to see you again, woman."I blinked repeatedly when his lips crashed on mine, aggressive enough to catch my breath and muffled my moan. I slowly backed away until I could feel the motor behind me.His lips against mine made my body even hotter. Every stroke of his soft lips was sending bolts of electricity to the middle of my thighs where my sensitive flesh was starting to ache for him.I wrapped my arms around his neck as he entered my mouth with his tongue. I played with his unruled brown hair as I responded with his scorching kiss."Hmnnn." Damn. He really enjoyed kissing me.He nibbled my lower lip as I felt his hand caressing my right thigh, making its way under the hem of the tight little dress. I could feel a little pain in his incessant sucking on my lower lip as his hand crawled into my dress."Ohhh..." My eyes widened and my whole body trembled when I felt his hand reach its destination. I felt him touch me there; on the sensitive flesh in between my trembling thighs. We were at an open-space parking lot! "Hmnn... A-Are you serious?" My breathing became ragged.He grinned before licking my lower lip, the exact part where it was swollen from the way he sucked on it. Then, he licked his own lips, tugging at his lip piercing while staring back at my eyes with pure lust and hunger."I can't help it. Your lips are heavenly." He traced my wet slit and I had to bury my face on his chest and grab his body closer to mine to hide whatever his hand was doing under my dress. "Hmnn... You are so wet, Meredith? I think we could not make it in my room."Rupert the Rockstar kissed my temple as his fingers played my throbbing and wet core like a guitar against the thin fabric of my underwear. My back arched with the sensation and to prevent myself from moaning, I had to suck the crook of his neck."Argh. You are really making this hard for me to stop, Meredith."Jeez. Why did my name sound so sexy when he said it? Maybe because of his naturally husky voice?I leaned my back on the motor behind me as I hugged Rupert's body closer to mine. I did not want the thing he was doing in between my thighs to get interrupted. A few people passed us by and looked at the two of us so I did everything to hide my face. I buried my face on his neck as I silently moaned because of the pleasure he was making me feel. I licked and kissed his neck but later on stopped and just enjoyed whatever pleasure he was giving me.My breathing was ragged as the savor I was feeling because of Rupert's finger intensified. I was losing my head fro
"Let's not meet again after this. Have sex with me, take my virginity, and then let's forget about tonight. We can move on in each other's life tomorrow," I negotiated with so much certainty. I was too defective to allow other people to love or even care for me. I always avoided the attachment so I can save the people around me from being hurt big time. Let us just say I was a burning flame and any moth who would attempt to come close would surely burn. This was also my way of living this life with lesser pain. I mean, the less people I love, the easier it is for me to get by. Maybe when the time comes that death comes to me, it would be easier to leave. I saw it to my mother already— I know what to do if my prosopagnosia or cancer fuck me up. Aside from Bailey and my parents, I never valued anyone. So, starting something like a flirtatious one-night-stand with this rockstar would not fire back at me, right? I mean, I don't want anything to happen to the two
"Hmnn… Oh gosh! This is… hmm." My back arched, wrapping both of my arms around Rupert’s neck. He was kneeling in front of me as he blessed my womanhood again with his fingers. His two fingers were pumping in and out of my wet and throbbing core. One of his hands gripped my left heel to keep my foot on top of the sofa. Because of my position, my legs were really spread out and my wet femininity was exposed for the Rockstar. "Fuck, do you know how warm it is inside you, Meredith?" He growled, increasing the speed of his finger. My eyes rolled back when he inserted another two fingers, making it three, and really stretching my walls wide. I bit my bottom lip as the mixture of pain and delicious sensations took over my burning body. Rupert was so good at this. He was driving me crazy. "Ohh... F-Faster... Ah ..." My hips bucked upwards to meet his three fingers that were coming in and out of me. I was sighing, moaning and groaning as his fingers got deeper— until
My chest was heaving deep breaths as I felt how my body burns with anticipation and need. I placed my hand on top of his and he pulled me to stand up. There was a small distance between our bodies. I forced myself to disregard the embarrassing feeling of standing in front of Rupert without a single covering but the nipple tapes on my breasts. He kissed the back of my hand before grinning at me. "I like this distance," I pointed out to the very close proximity where our toes were touching. From this distance, I could see his lips and his eyes. I like it. "Hmnn ... Really? I like it too. I could perfectly see how beautiful your naked body is." He intertwined our hands and then gave me that menacing and lustful gaze, totally overruling my remaining control. I gave in. Rupert took me to his room. Blue and silver colors also dominated his big room. There was a study table on the right most corner where a desktop computer was placed, a big closet, a doo
It was very unusual for me to wake up on someone else's bed, with a strong set of arms wrapped around my naked body, possessively. Rupert Santos, the bad rockstar, was all over me. We were sharing the same sheets and his scent was all I could smell, his snoring against my ear was all I could hear, and the heat coming from his nakedness pressed against my back was all I could feel. I gasped before slowly removing his hug from me. He was sleeping like a baby, with that gigantic bulge poking my behind. Even asleep, he was insatiable. Rupert was not even shaken from his deep sleep when the bed sagged as I woke up. I sat on my side of the bed and then looked at the sleeping man beside me. I no longer made an effort to cover my naked body. Everything that happened last night were things I didn't know I would allow someone to do to my body and I would actually like and enjoy. I was blown away by the wind. Did I just admit that I enjoyed everything Rupert made my body ex
I thought Rupert would only surprise me last night but I was even more surprised when I saw him in the kitchen, already preparing breakfast. I just finished taking a shower and I thought I would still see him sleeping on the bed. But when I finished bathing, I found no one in bed sleeping. So I left the room and was immediately greeted by the fresh smell of fried rice being cooked. I followed the scent and that's when I found this guy, busy preparing our breakfast. And I was really stunned to see him in the kitchen. I blinked a few times while leaning on the kitchen door frame, watching Rupert working in the kitchen, oblivious of my presence. He was shirtless and only in his boxers while wearing an apron. From my place, I could perfectly see how his muscles on his shoulders and back contracted in every move he would make. It was pretty obvious that he was so used to working in the kitchen. There was no awkwardness on how he moved around. I, on the other hand, wa
"Time for your dessert, Sweetie." Then, Rupert stood in front of me right after feeding me. He turned my seat back on the table. Now, I have turned my back from the table while I face him. "I am the one who is going to eat my dessert but you look more excited than me," I pointed, giving him a suspicious look. He chuckled before he widened my legs and stood in between them. He took my right hand then brought it to his mouth. I immediately expelled a heavy breath when he kissed my palm while looking straight to my eyes. His gaze was covered with so much desire. My heart beat erratically on my chest, there were butterflies in my stomach and my body started burning with sensation and heat. "I want you to just feel me, Meredith. Just feel the pleasure," he put both of my hands on both sides of his hips, "and taste me." I didn't expect what he did next. He covered my eyes with his big right hand. Then, I felt him get closer to me and I had to widen my legs even mor
"Can you stay a little longer?" I was stunned from fixing my hair in front of the full-length mirror in Rupert’s bedroom. I looked at him lying on the bed while watching me. He was lying on his side, his elbow erect, his head resting on his hand. "Why?" Then, I looked back in the mirror. I even winced when I saw so many kiss marks on my neck again. "Must there be a reason?" I shook my head. "Everyone must have a reason. Nothing happens just because it's meant to happen. That's bullshit, Rupert." Rupert remained silent after what I said, so I didn't speak either. I focused on putting concealer on parts of my neck and arms where red marks were seen. I adjusted the strap of the halter dress I was wearing. I had no other clo
"Rupert?" I was stunned to see Rupert entering our bedroom. My eyebrows went up as soon as he finished closing the door, he next took off his necktie. "Aren't you on duty now in the emergency room, Dr. Santos?" I got up from lying down and sat on the end of the bed. It's already eight PM and my husband is in his second year residency— and he told me he was on duty in the emergency room of their hospital tonight. "I miss you, my dear wife." He then took off his long sleeves and dropped his hands on the button of his pants. "Emergency room isn't busy. Someone relieved me. Can you believe how lucky I am?" I chuckled, realizing how my husband never really wasted any time. I could hear the playfulness in his voice. The way he was walking slowly— very very slowly— towards me as if he was strip-teasing in front of me made me laugh so hard. "We’re too old to do that, Rupert!" I got up from the bed and approached him. I grinned when he cussed under his breath. I immediately knelt down in
"How are you? I hope you're doing fine there. Please, be happy wherever you are." I was standing beside Rupert as he talked to Ava. He was sitting on the grass opposite its tomb. After finding out that he was the same man I called an asshole a year ago, he asked me to stay for a while— because he was supposed to talk to Ava. And so, here we are. I was watching him as he talked to his first love. In my hand, I was holding a bunch of roses. "I want you to meet her." Rupert turned to look at me. I was not sure if he's grinning or what. But when he stood next to me and held my hand tightly, I couldn't help but smile. "She's Meredith Kaye Santiago, the woman I will marry and will spend the rest of my life with. Isn't she beautiful? She's also an inspiring woman and she's a fighter. I'm actually proud of her. I love her so much , Ava. " My mouth dropped open at what Rupert was saying. When he raised my hand and pointed at the ring on my finger as if showing it off to his first love mad
"Loving someone is a manifestation of human's vulnerability; the risk of hurting someone and being hurt by another person." I smiled before my eyes searched for Rupert's seat in the audience area. "We lost, we burned and we got hurt ... But we can't deny the fact that this abstract thing called love is the connection we need as a social being. Without love, this life will be meaningless. Without love, this world will be cruel. Without love, I wouldn't be able to stand on this stage and carry on in this debate. My love for debate is what kept me going and the love of the people around me is what motivated me to not surrender. " Love is being vulnerable. And although many of us get hurt after loving someone, "The important thing is the lessons we learned and the memories we had with the person who made us happy. So, it is still better to love even though you might lose. Because a quitter will never be a winner but a loser can eventually win. Same goes with love, to be brave is the only
Everyone was here. Everyone who was important to me came. My dad, Aunt Bernadeth, Bailey, Eian, Uncle Greg, Gelo and my debate team, my coaches and Rupert’s father. I was wearing a simple white dress reaching just above my knees. My long hair was falling freely behind my back. Rupert was wearing a simple all-white suit and I know he looked good in it. I looked at Rupert who was holding my hand. I smiled at him while tears were welling up in my eyes. I couldn't clearly see his face aside from the shiny metal ring on his lips. It's frustrating and ever since the wedding ceremony started, I keep wishing to see his face on this special moment. "Meredith Kaye Santiago," he slid the wedding ring on my finger, "you're so beautiful." I giggled. He was supposed to say his vow but here he was, complimenting me for the nth time. "Proceed to your vow, Mr. Santos. I'm quite tired," I murmured before winking at him. That's the truth. After the debate, I couldn’t deny how weak I was feeling n
I looked at Rupert who was sitting on the front seat of the audience area. Next to him were Bailey, Sir Romeo and Ma'am Juliet. On his lap was a large handbag full of my things; my lunch, some extra t-shirts, and medicines. He was in an unusually clean casual today— neat white polo with casual jeans and rubber shoes. His curly brown hair was put in a fixed brush up style.So I was no longer surprised that every woman we met entering the venue was attracted to him."Are you ready, Meredith?" Cherry asked me, holding my right arm to assist me.I chuckled before I freed myself from her hold. "I'm okay, Che. You don't have to worry.""But you had a nose bleed earlier. If you don't want Cherry to support you, let me," Minzy argued.I immediately shook my head. "Please don't treat me like a weak patient. I don't want to remember my condition on this important day."Cherry and Minzy were stunned. David put his arm around Minzy and ruffled her hair. "Let's focus on the competition. We have to
One year ago …"Congrats, Edith. A year has passed. I don't think you should worry anymore. Everything is going to be okay from here.”I looked at Bailey because of what she said. I nudged her side before getting off of the car's passenger seat. I turned around at the driver's seat and then peeked at the window. "Five years, Bailey. Eian said— I mean Dr. Baller, I have to be healthy for five years straight to say I don't really have cancer anymore," I reminded her before sighing a deep breath."One year was still a long time," she replied to me before patting my forehead. "It's not because the standards are five years to say you're cancer free, you're invalidating the one year you're healthy. You should be thankful for that."I frowned at her before playfully swatting her hand away which was patting me like a kid. "One year is only twenty percent of the five years. A lot more can happen. I still can't figure it out. My cancer can still come back.""Stop your negativity. You're ruining
"I have to undergo chemo and then surgery to remove my tumor. Then, I have to undergo radiotherapy after the surgery." "I will hold your hand throughout those treatments, Meredith. I will always be waiting for you outside the therapy room and the surgery room," he said, making me immediately smile even more. He interlaced our fingers together and then kissed the back of my hand. "After your treatment, we will have our church wedding." I took a deep breath. I needed to tell him. "My doctor suggested mastectomy." He stiffened. And that scared me. "My doctor said I am susceptible to the recurrence of my cancer because of my genes. He thinks mastectomy can be a help to free myself from the curse of cancer. Both of my breasts will be removed," I said without even blinking an eye. He was silent and the bitter feeling instantly caved in. He removed his head from leaning on my shoulder and he also let go of my hand. My eyes immediately stung. When he faced me, I was quick to lower my
"This is more emotionally and mentally difficult than what I thought. I cried a lot last night. It's hard to accept it. It's hard to believe it." I chuckled, placing my hand on top of the white marble. I traced her etched name on the surface as if I was touching her face. "Mom, do you think I can handle it again? Can I survive for the second time around? I am hurting Papa again."I sighed before a small smile returned to my lips. I was sitting on the grass, across from my mother’s grave. Yesterday, my biopsy result revealed that my cancer came back and I had to deal with it again. Rupert was there with me to receive the bad news. But I asked him to leave and give me my 'me' time to process everything."I met a guy, Ma. His name is Rupert. I've done a lot of crazy things with him and I'm sure you're going to scold me big time if you’re still here," I laughed at my own story. The first day I met Rupert came back. He was my definition of living freely back then. I took the risk with him
I slowly walked into the hospital church. I expected it but it still hurts. My biopsy results stated it was malignant and the stage of my cancer was in grade two or three. Further tests would be conducted to assess my cancer's grade. Eian suggested mastectomy again as my only way to free myself from the curse of cancer. I think that's what bugs me the most. Wasn’t it enough that I would go through the fight against cancer again? Why did I even have to remove my breasts? When I was in the first row of seats, my cellphone in my pocket vibrated. I checked it and my heart ached to see my Dad's name on the caller ID. "I'm sorry, Pa." I turned off my phone. Right now, I wanted to be alone first. I wanted to deal with the turmoil in my mind and the heavy pain in my heart by my own. I just wanted a time to accept my biopsy results. I sat on the empty pew in the second row and turned my gaze at the big cross in the middle of the church's altar. The hands on my lap turned into fists whi