Nine years ago...
Eva Cole spent the afternoon of her seventeenth birthday curled up on her narrow bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Everything about her life was a disaster. It was never going to be better-and what if she was one of the unlucky people who peaked in her teenage years? What if this was the best it was going to be? Seriously, she should just throw herself out her dorm room window and be done with it. Of course, she was only on the fourth floor, so she was not going to actually kill herself. The most likely event was maiming. She sat up and wiped her face. "Given the distance to the ground and the speed at impact," she murmured to herself, then sniffed. "Depending on my position..." She reached for a piece of paper. "If I fell feet first-unlikely, but it could happen-then the majority of the stress would be on my..." She started doing the calculations. Bone density versus a hard concrete landing or a softer grass landing. Assuming a coefficient of- Eva threw down the pencil and paper and collapsed back on her bed. "I'm a total freak. I'll never be anything but a freak. I should be planning my death, not doing math. No wonder I don't have any friends." The sobs returned. She cried and cried, knowing that there was no cure for her freakishness. That she was destined to be one of those scary solitary people. "I'll have to get cats," she cried. "I'm allergic to cats." The door to her room opened. She kept her face firmly in her pillow. "Go away." "I don't think so." That voice. She knew that voice. The owner was the star of every romantic and semisexual fantasy she'd ever had. Tall, with dark hair and eyes the color of the midnight sky-assuming one was away from the city, where the ambient light emitted enough of a- Eva groaned. "Someone just kill me now." "No one's going to kill you," Liam said as he sat next to her on her bed and put a strong, large hand on her back. "Come on, kid. It's your birthday. What's the problem?" How much time did he have? She could make him a list. Given an extra forty-five seconds,she could index it, translate it into a couple of languages, then turn it into computer code. "I hate my life. It's horrible. I'm a freak. Worse, I'm a fat, ugly freak and I'll always be this way." She heard Liam draw in a breath. There were a lot of reasons she was totally in love with him. Sure, he was incredibly good-looking, but that almost didn't matter. The best part of Liam was he took time with her. He talked to her as if she was a real person. Next to Emmett, her brother, she loved Liam more than anyone. "You're not a freak," he said, his voice low. She noticed he didn't say she wasn't fat. There was no getting around the extra forty pounds on her five-foot-two-inch, small-boned frame. Unfortunately he also didn't tell her she wasn't ugly. Liam was kind, but he wasn't a liar. Between her braces and her nose-which rivaled the size of Io, one of Jupiter's moons-and her blotchy complexion, she had a permanent offer from the circus to sign on up for the sideshow. "I'm not normal," she said, still speaking into her pillow because crying made her puffy and she didn't need for Liam to see her looking even more hideous. "I was planning my death and instead I got caught up in math equations. Normal people don't do that." "You're right, Eva. You're not normal. You're way better than that. You're a genius. The rest of us are idiots." He wasn't an idiot. He was perfect. "I've been in college since I was twelve," she mumbled. "That's five years. If I was really smart, I'd be done now." "You're getting a PhD, not to mention your, what, third masters?" "Something like that." Unable to be in the same room with him and not look at him, she flipped onto her back. God, he was so amazing, she thought as her chest tightened and her stomach turned over a couple of times. Technically the organ in question couldn't turn over. What she felt was just- She covered her face with her hands. "I have to find a way to turn off my brain." "Why? So you can be like the rest of us?" She dropped her hands to her side. "Yes. I want to be a regular girl." "Sorry. You're stuck being special." She loved him so much it hurt. She wanted him to think she was more than his best friend's kid sister. She wanted him to see her as a woman. Right, and while she was having a fantasy moment... maybe he could see her as a beautiful woman he ached for. As if! "I don't have any friends," she said as she did her best to ignore the need to tell him she would love him forever. "I'm too young, especially in the PhD program. They all think I'm some upstart kid. They're waiting for me to crash and burn." "Which isn't going to happen." "I know, but between my academic isolation and my lack of a female role model since the death of my mother, the odds of my maturing to a normal functioning member of society grow more slim each day. Like I said-I'm a freak." Tears rolled down her temples to get lost in her hair. "I'll never have a boyfriend." "Give it a couple of years." "It's not going to happen. And even if some guy does take pity on me and ask me out, he'll have to be drunk or stoned or something to want to kiss me, let alone have sex with me. I'm going to d-die a virgin." The sobs began again. Liam pulled her into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around her. "Hell of a birthday," he said. "Tell me about it." She snuggled close, liking how strong and muscular he felt. He smelled good, too. If only he were desperately in love with her, the moment would be perfect. But that was not meant to be. Instead of declaring undying devotion and ripping off both their clothes or even kissing her, he shifted back so they weren't even touching. "Eva, you're in a tough place right now. You don't fit in here and you sure don't fit in with kids your own age." She wanted to protest she was almost his age-there were only four between them-and she fit with him just fine. But Adam was the kind of guy who had dozens of women lining up to be with him. Pretty, skinny girls she really hated. "But you're going to get through this and then life is going to be a whole lot better." "I don't think so. Freakishness doesn't just go away." He reached out and touched her cheek. "I have high hopes for you." "What if you're wrong? What if I do die a virgin?" He chuckled. "You won't. I promise." "Cheap talk." "It's what I'm good at." He leaned toward her, and before she knew what he was going to do, he kissed her. On the mouth! She barely registered the soft, warm pressure of his lips on hers and then the kiss was over. "No!" She spoke without thinking and grabbed the front of his sweatshirt. "Liam, no. Please. I want you to be my first time." She'd never seen a man move so fast. One second he was on her bed, the next he was standing by the door to her dorm room. Shame and humiliation swept through her. She would have given a hundred IQ points to call those words back. Heat burned her cheeks until she knew she would be marked by the embarrassment forever. She'd never meant him to know. He'd probably guessed she had a massive crush on him, but she'd never wanted him to be sure. "Liam, I..." He shook his head. "Eva, I'm sorry. You're... you're Emmett's little sister. I could never... I don't see you like that." Of course not. Why would he want a beast when there were so many beauties throwing themselves at him? "I understand. Everything. Just go." He started to leave, then turned back. "I want us to be friends. You're my friend, Eva." And with those horrifying words, he left. Eva sat on the edge of her bed and wondered when she would stop hurting so much. When would she fit in? When would she stop loving Liam? When would she be able to walk in a room and not wish for the floor to open up and swallow her whole? Automatically she reached under her bed and pulled out the plastic storage container filled with her snacks. After grabbing a frosted cupcake, she unwrapped it. This was it-she'd officially hit bottom. Nothing would ever be worse than this exact moment. It was like dark matter in the universe. The absolute absence of anything. It was the death of hope. She took a bite of the cupcake. Shame made her chew fast and swallow. When the sugar and fat hit her system, she wouldn't hurt so bad. She wouldn't feel so lonely or totally rejected by Liam Sanz Damn him. Why couldn't he love her back? She was a good person. But she wasn't busty and blond and tiny, like the girls he dated and slept with. "I have a brain," she murmured. "That scares guys." She said the words bravely, but she knew it was more than her incredible IQ that chased off boys. It was how she looked. How she'd allowed food to be everything, especially after her mom died four years ago. It was turning down her father's badly worded offer to take her to a plastic surgeon to talk about her nose. She screamed that if he really loved her, he would never, ever talk about it again, when in truth she was scared. Scared of changing and scared of being the same. She stood and stared at the closed dorm room door. "I hate you, Liam," she said as tears slipped down her cheeks. "I hate you and I'll make you suffer. I'm going to grow up and be so beautiful you have to sleep with me. Then I'm going to walk away and break your heart. Just watch me."Present dayLiam Sanz had driven two days straight to get to California. He could have flown his jet, then picked up a rental car for the month he was going to be forced to stay at Emmett's house, but he'd needed the downtime to clear his head.His assistant had been frantic, unable to reach him in the more rural parts of the country, but he'd enjoyed the silence. There hadn't been enough silence in his life for a long, long time. Even when he was alone, there were still the damn ghosts to contend with.He drove down a long driveway toward a barely visible log house.The place stood surrounded by trees with a view of a lake behind. There were windows and stone steps, along with a heavy double wood door.Liam parked, then climbed out of his Mercedes.Emmett's house had been built just recently, nearly ten years after the death of his friend, but Liam had a feeling that Emmett had left detailed instructions on what it should look like.The place reminded him of Emmett, which was both go
The next morning Eva woke up feeling much better about everything. After leaving out food for Liam, she'd escaped to her room, where she'd had a bath and a good cry.Some of her tears had been about her brother, but a lot of them had been for herself. For the geek she'd been and the losses she'd suffered.After Emmett had died, their father had totally lost it. He'd been less than useless to her. Within a year he'd started dating nineteen-year-olds, and in the eight years since, his girlfriends had stayed depressingly young.She'd been on her own and she'd survived.Wasn't that what mattered? That she'd managed to get the help she'd needed to move forward and thrive?She turned on her clock's radio and rocked her hips to the disco music that blasted into the room.She was sorry she'd missed the disco years-the music had such a driving beat. Of course, she was a total spaz on the dance floor, but what she lacked in style and grace she made up for in enthusiasm.After brushing out her
"You had more than one?" he asked, frowning slightly. He knew only about her nose.She sat up and leaned toward him. "Breasts," she said in a mock whisper. "I had breast implants."His gaze involuntarily dropped to her chest. Then he jerked his head to the right and focused on the weight bench next to him."Why?" he asked, determined not to think about her body and especially not her breasts, which were suddenly more interesting than he wanted them to be."After I lost weight, I discovered I had the chest of a twelve-year-old-boy. I was totally flat. It was depressing. So I got implants. I went for a jumbo B—which seemed about right for my newly skinny self."She stood and turned sideways in front of the mirror. "I don't know. Sometimes I think I should have just gone for it and ordered the centerfold breasts. What do you think?"He told himself not to look, but it was like trying to hold back the tide. Against his will, his head turned and his gaze settled on her chest. Eva raised he
Liam spent a couple of hours in the loft office, working. He called his assistant back in Austin."They're building more roads in Pakistan," Raina Patmore told him. "They're looking at maybe an eighteen-month contract, but we all know those things take longer. And Sister Angie called. They want to take in another convoy of medical supplies."His business provided protection in dangerous parts of the world. His teams allowed building crews to get their jobs done and get out.The work was dangerous, often a logistical nightmare and extremely expensive.His corporate clients paid well for what they got.The corporate profits were channeled into funding protection for those providing relief efforts in places often forgotten.He'd grown up in the shadow of the Sanz Formation, a philanthropic trust that helped the poor.His critics said he could afford to be generous-he had a trust fund worth nearly a billion dollars. What they didn't know is he never touched it. A vow he'd made to himself.
"Not much to tell.""It's tough, isn't it?" She leaned against the counter opposite his. For once, her eyes weren't bright with humor or challenge. "Being who we are and trying to get involved. The money thing, I mean."Because they both came from money. Because they'd been raised with the idea that they had to be careful, to make sure they didn't fall for someone who was in it for the wrong reasons.Without wanting to, Liam remembered sitting in on a painful conversation between Emmett and Eva. He'd tried to escape more than once, but his friend had wanted him to stick around to make sure Van really listened."Guys are going to know who you are," Emmett had told her. "You have to be smart and not just think with your heart."Eva had been sixteen. She'd writhed in her seat as Emmett had talked, then she'd stood and glared at him."Who is going to want me for anything else?" she demanded. "I'm not pretty. I'll never be pretty. I'm nothing more than a giant brain with braces and a big n
Eva sat up and took Sloane's hands. "I love and admire you, but you are desperately wrong."I hope so, for your sake."But her friend sounded worried as she spoke. Eva appreciated the show of support. They were never going to agree on this topic. Better to move on.She released Sloane's hands and grinned. "So Derrick is right next door. Whatever will the two of you get up to late at night?"Sloane flushed. "Lower your voice," she whispered. "He'll hear you.""Oh, please. He wouldn't hear a nuclear explosion if he was focused on something else, and when I walked by his room, he was already booting his laptop. We're safe.Don't you love how I got the two of you into the house while everyone else is far, far away?""I guess," Sloane said with uncharacteristic indecision. "I know something has to happen soon or I'll be forced to back the car over him. He's such a sweetie. And you know I really like him, but I don't think I'm his type."+Eva groaned. "He doesn't have a type. He's a nerd.
Eva arrived home from dinner with her team feeling just full enough, with a slight buzz.They'd taken the shuttle van into town and that had meant no one had to be a designated driver.Wine had flowed freely. Well, as freely as it could given no one drank more than a glass, preferring the thrill of intellectual discussion to the mental blurriness of too much alcohol.+But just this once Eva had passed up the wine and gone with a margarita. That was fine, but she'd ordered a second one and was absolutely feeling it as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom.As she reached the landing, she was two doors and was reminded that it was also the same floor with Liam's bedroom.What an interesting fact, she thought as she paused and stared at the firmly closed door. He was in there. By himself, she would guess.So what exactly was he getting up to?She was pretty confident he was stretched out on the bed, watching TV or reading.But this was her buzz, and she could imagine him waiting for her
It was a perfect night for viewing the stars, but she wasn't in the mood. Not even on her brand-new telescope. She hurt too much and it was hard to say why.Maybe because Liam was right. If Justice was that important to her, she wouldn't stay away from him for six months. But she had, and it had been relatively easy.Too easy. If she were really in love with him, wouldn't she be desperate to be with him?Finding the engagement ring had shocked her. She hadn't known what to think about his proposing.She'd been happy, but a part of her had known that it was time to put off the inevitable. That closure with Liam was required.She'd known about Emmett's friends coming to stay at the house. She'd taken the consulting job in California, hired on as the caretaker of the house and had waited to confront the man who was holding her back.Once she got her revenge on Liam, she would be fine."That's what's wrong," she whispered to herself. "I'm still waiting to punish him. Once Liam is reduced