Chapter Four

Public transportation buses always have a funky smell. I can’t be the only one who notices this. Glancing around, the pinched expression on the other passengers' faces supported my observation. Especially the elderly man who is sitting beside me at the back of the bus. Actually, he looks down right sour at the moment.

“Beautiful morning isn’t it?” I remarked casually, holding my hand out in invitation to shake his. "My name is Leslie. Leslie Sherman.”

Hesitating for a moment, the elderly man eyed me warily. He’s tall, thin and has a slight beer gut. Wearing gold-rimmed glasses that are held up by his long-beaked nose, he glances at me with bright moss-green eyes. “Edward.” He responds dryly with a quick shake of my hand.

“So where are you headed to?” I wondered, fidgeting with the bottom hem of my canvas and sherpa-lined vest. “I’m hiking today at Acadia National Park.”

“Hmph, I can tell.” The man remarks with a snort as if I’ve offended him in some way.

Scrunching my face at his gruff tone, I turned in my seat to face him. “What do you mean you can tell?”

The man only grunts and shakes his head. “I just can is all.”

It’s highly possible he saw my large stuffed to the gills hiking backpack on the luggage rack above our heads. That’s not what bothers me though. It’s the way he responded as if the very sight of me is annoying. Maybe he’s just having a bad day or has achy arthritic joints or something.

Rotating back around in my seat to face away from him, I stare out the window and try not to dwell on the past several years or Randy. Within a few minutes, however, my masochist brain picks back up where it left off while riding the bus earlier to meet Kyra.

Standing in front of my apartment door holding two large shopping bags stuffed with the bedding and pillows I had just bought, I hesitated with my shaky hand hovering just above the door handle. What am I going to say to him? What is he going to say to me? Will I be able to look at Randy without images of him and Katie together on our bed flashing in my mind?

Gathering my courage, I turned the knob and opened the door. Kyra is sitting back in the middle of the couch, holding a mug with steam rising from the top in one hand. Randy is nowhere in sight and his pile of belongings remains untouched in the middle of the floor.

Setting my bags down, I raised an eyebrow at her in question. Tilting her head in the direction of the hallway, she answers my wordless question.

“He’s back there in the spare bedroom. Told him to stay there while you were gone because I couldn’t stand the sight of him.” Kyra states sourly.

“I don’t blame you,” I replied with a dry laugh.

“So… What are you going to say to him?” She wonders, her voice laced with concern.

“I have no idea. I’ll let him give his side of the story, I guess. I want to know why he thought it was ok to allow her into our apartment.” I can’t even bring myself to say her name. The very thought of speaking it out loud makes my stomach clench.

Kyra nods in understanding. Pausing at the start of the hallway, I turn to Kyra.

“Thank you for staying and helping me last night and this morning. You don’t have to stick around if you have things to do. I have a feeling this conversation with Randy is probably going to be an ugly, emotional mess.”

“You sure you’ll be alright?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. This needs to happen today as much as I wish it wasn’t happening at all.”

“He looks terrible, by the way.” She informs me with a crooked half smile.

“That makes two of us then.” I mumble, feeling my throat tighten. “I’ll call ya later and let you know how it goes.”

“Okay. Break a leg for me.” Kyra remarks, most definitely not meaning it metaphorically. “You’ll call me if things get out of hand, or you need anything, OK?”

“Absolutely.”

Before I get a half a dozen steps down the hallway, the spare bedroom door opens just ahead on the right. Randy steps out in front of me, looking at me like it’s the first time he’s seen me in decades. Kyra was right. He does look terrible, like hell, actually. His eyes are blood shot, swollen, bruised underneath and bleary like he’s been crying all night. He’s pale, a little gaunt and his dirty short blond hair is an uncombed mess.

“Leslie...” He says in a hoarse whisper. “I thought I heard your voice and was coming out to check.”

Before I can respond, Randy rushes at me in two long strides and takes hold of my wrist, pulling me into the spare bedroom with him. He swiftly closes and locks the door behind us.

“Hey--!” I began to protest but was stopped when his mouth crashed down onto mine. Kissing me like a starved, ravenous man, I was pushed up against the wall with zero space between us. Cupping my face gently in his hands, Randy softly kissed my forehead, cheek and jaw. I move to push him away, not trusting myself to make him stop.

“Randy--, please, we need to talk.” I pleaded, turning my face to the side in hopes of stopping the threat of tears blurring my vision. The sight of him looking so torn and desperate is breaking my heart.

“Please don’t cry baby girl.” He whispers, resting his forehead against mine. A tear breaks free and trickles down my cheek. In the same exact manner from that day in front of my chum-filled locker three years ago, Randy brushes the pad of his thumb across my cheek, wiping away my tears.

The tender motion opens the floodgates of my emotions and memories. A shakey sob breaks free. Randy wraps me in his arms, holding me closely against his chest. So many words are on the tip of my tongue that I want to scream at him. We had been talking regularly about marriage and even had a few dates picked out. He hadn’t officially proposed to me yet, but I had a feeling over the last couple of months that he was preparing to. Now all of that is gone.

The last three years together feel wasted. Everything between us has become tainted and poisoned with distrust and betrayal. I know in my heart of hearts we will never be what we were before last night.

“Why?” I choked, sucking in a deep breath.

“I--, I am so sorry Leslie. I didn’t mean any of this... didn’t want her to touch me or be anywhere near me.”

“Then why did you let her into our home?!” I shouted. “You should never have let her walk through that door!”

Taking a step back, Randy’s eyes were earnest, his face was riddled with pain. “I didn’t know she was with them. A little while after you left for the mall, Adam messaged me, asking if I wanted to hang out if I wasn’t already busy. I let him know you went out with Kyra for the day and invited him over. When I opened the door, Craig, Adam, and Shawn were standing in the hallway, holding a case of beer and a poker game case. After inviting them inside, I turned back around to close the door and found Katie leaned against the wall, smirking at me like she had gotten away with something. I told her she wasn’t welcome and to get out, but Adam stepped in between us, claiming she was there with him.”

Throwing my arms up in the air, I continued to berate him. “So you let her stay to avoid embarrassment or making a scene? You know she’s fucking psychotic!”

Sighing sharply, Randy pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger.

“No, that’s not why. I don’t care about stuff like that, and you know it. None of those guys knew Katie and I had dated before, and I didn’t want to get into all of that with them. It’s not something I like to discuss or think back on. They’re just aware that I can’t stand her.“

Randy turned away from me, going to the window on the other side of the room. Standing in front of it, he grips the edges of the windowsill hard enough to cause his knuckles to turn white. Virtually no one knows how manipulative and controlling Katie can be once she has her claws sunk into someone like Randy does.

“Do you think she did this on purpose? As a way to blackmail you or use this against you for some reason?” I wondered aloud, coming up beside Randy.

Hanging his head, Randy closes his eyes and exhales heavily. His entire body sags with the realization that Katie absolutely would do something so nefarious. “I honestly don’t know. If that’s the case, then it’s only a matter of time before we find out. Maybe on impulse she saw last night as an opportunity to get back at me for dumping her in high school. I’m the only guy who ever broke up with her.”

As difficult as it is to see Randy so broken and distraught, there’s still the issue of his drinking. If he hadn’t been so drunk, he would have been in control of himself and the situation as a whole. He would have seen right through Katie's potential manipulation and games.

“What do we do now? I--, I don’t know if I can or how to move forward in a situation like this.” Swallowing, I gasped, trying to fight back tears, wrapping my arms around my chest, hugging myself.

Randy faces me and drops to his knees in front of me. Taking both of my hands in his, he peeked up at me with tears wetting his eyes. Speaking softly, his voice is strained with emotion. “I’ll understand if you never want to see me again. What I did betrayed and broke any trust you had in me, and I can’t take what happened back. But please know this and believe it when I tell you; I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you, and I’ll never stop fighting for or give up on winning you back. You’re my entire world, Leslie Sherman, and I love you more than anything…”