Chapter Five

The elderly man, Edward, sitting beside me on the bus interrupts me from my thoughts by quickly clearing his throat and answering my initial question.

“I’m getting off at Northeast Harbor stop to spend a few days with my sister, Patty.” He mentions like it’s a death sentence with a scowl.

“Oh? You don’t sound too thrilled about visiting your sister?” I replied in a careful tone. Maybe that’s why he’s so grouchy.

“No, I’m not thrilled about it at all. She’s dying and only has a few days at most.”

Not expecting that bit of information or his annoyed tone, I offered my condolences. “Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that, Edward.”

“Ha! Don’t be!” He snorts with a chuckle. “She’s a miserable, cranky old bat, and I’m the last sibling out of four who is still alive, which unfortunately means I’m the one responsible for handling her affairs.”

His admission is odd and saddens me in a sense. I wonder if his entire family is so rough around the edges, or maybe he’s jaded by his sister for a good reason? Maybe he’s also just an ass. Whatever the reasons are, I’m not sure how to respond and decide not to, and nod instead, hoping to convey that I empathize and understand.

Taking my nod as I hoped he would, Edward continued discussing his family issues.

“My sister, Patty, tricked and manipulated my father into making her his sole heir in his Will. He had Alzheimer’s disease and Patty knew of his condition before my brothers and I did. When our father passed, my sister inherited the money he had scraped up to save and contribute to investment accounts while working as a Lobsterman for over forty years.

She also inherited our family's home, which has been in our family for three generations. The money she inherited wasn’t substantial by any means, and that wasn’t the issue. She felt entitled to all of our father's assets because she had remained living with him and cared for the house when he was away out at sea lobstering for weeks on end, while my brothers and I went off and got married, starting lives of our own."

I sat quiet for a moment after Edward had finished giving an account of his family’s dramatic history, surprised that he shared any of it with me. Shaking my head, I am saddened to hear how deceitful people can be. Especially with how family members at times can treat each other the worst.

“Did she choose to stay and help your father or did he ask her to stay? I can see why you're not excited about going to help her. You’re a better person than I am because I’m not sure if I could have anything to do with a relative who would betray their entire family in such a sinister manner.”

Pursing his lips together and for the first time, Edward looked directly at me. “It was my sister's choice to stay, and my father didn’t push her to leave because our mother had died during childbirth delivering my youngest brother. I used to hate my sister after discovering what she had done and didn’t speak to her for years. After both of my brothers passed away in less than a year's time, it was just me and my sister. We were all that remained of our family and I came to the realization that holding grudges merely prolongs our resentment and misery, everyone makes mistakes, and that above all, forgiveness is king.”

The old man's confession of forgiveness pulls painfully at my heart strings. “So you’re no longer angry with your sister? Are you still bitter with her for what she did?”

“Angry? No, not anymore. What good would it do for me or change for the better to hold that against her for the rest of our lives? I am, however, at times bitter with my sister. Not just because she stole our father's inheritance for herself, but because she’s an ornery pain in the ass.” He finishes with a chuckle and a half smile.

We both sit in silence together, lost in our thoughts. My lack of a response is because I’m contemplating how his life experience formed his views on forgiveness. Edward, I notice out of the corner of my eye, he is patiently regarding me.

Edwards' face softens and his tone is gentle when he speaks. “If I sounded grumpy when you initially asked about my sister, its not because I didn’t want to see her. It's because I’m angry at myself for all the years we lost. Choosing to continuously punish and hate her for so long is one of the greatest regrets of my life.”

The bus driver announced over the PA system that we were arriving at the Northeast Harbor stop for anyone who needed to get off. Turning in to a bumpy parking lot just off the main road, Edward, with a shy smile, holds out his hand to shake mine.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Leslie. Thank you for listening to me talk about my family’s drama. Don’t get lost on your hike today, that park is enormous.”

Smiling back at him, I returned his handshake, genuinely appreciating our time together. “You as well, Edward. Good luck with everything over the next few days, okay?”

Tipping his tweed flat cap hat at me, Edward stands to exit the bus and turns around to me. “My full name is Edward Robert O’Neil, by the way. Look me up if you want. My family is sort of famous in these parts. Oh, and one more thing, whoever it is that your still in love with and hurt you, it’s obvious you battle on whether to forgive them or not. Forgive them, even if they’re undeserving of it, find a way to forgive them for your own peace and reconciliation.”

“I will.” Is all I can manage to say in response to Mr. O’Neil’s final words to me, rather stunned by them, now watching him scoot down the aisleway.

He’s one of the O’Neil’s? Holy crap! The questions I could have asked if I knew that... They are the descendants of one of the three women who worked at Blackwood Fine Leather & Footwear that mysteriously disappeared. Clarice O’Neil worked part-time at the shoe factory, and was twenty-three years old and married with three small children when she vanished.

Staring out the bus window, watching the heavily wooded surroundings pass by, my mind is a blur of thoughts. Dwelling on Mr. O’Neil’s final words to me, I sink back into the memories of the past few years once again. Forgive them, even if they’re undeserving of it. Find a way to forgive them for your own peace and reconciliation.

Have I forgiven Randy? Should I? In particular, after what I learned and all that happened during the following months after finding Randy and Katie in bed together. Would I come to regret my final decision and behavior later on in life?

A part of me already does, regardless of how hard I try to pretend that feelings of regret and remorse don’t exist. On top of the fact that, for the last two years, I still wake up almost every morning, missing and dwelling on the years spent with Randy. A queasy, heavy sensation drops inside of me. What if I’ve made a terrible mistake?