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3. Player One Ready?

Author: V. Moody
last update Last Updated: 2021-09-13 17:13:26
Some people had sunk to their knees, others were in tears. The soldiers, who acted like this was just another day at the office, quickly got everyone up, barking orders at those still in a daze to snap them out of it.

“We have to move,” called out Captain Grayson. “The corpse will attract scavengers. We don’t want to be here when that happens.”

Slowly the shock wore off, and we formed a vague line. With the soldiers on either side of us, we set off through the trees.

Nobody said anything as we all concentrated on working our way in between the densely populated trees, keeping an eye open for further attacks. Without shoes it took all your attention to avoid stepping on something painful. Ohs and ahs and shits rang out as people hopped around clutching their feet. Met by shushing from those fearful of drawing the attention of more monsters.

I was too excited to be scared. If this really was a game, would you have to collect experience points to level up?

Perhaps we’d be able to gain abilities and skills.

Was there a status screen to show us our stats and hit points?

I stopped and started slapping the air in front of me, trying to trigger some kind of user interface. I had hoped a futuristic HUD would appear, but nothing happened. I stood there trying different combinations of invisible button pushing like an epileptic body-popper. People walked past giving me odd looks until one of the soldiers nudged me to keep moving.

An hour later, we emerged into a meadow of wildflowers. I half expected to look up and see two suns or a floating city, but the sky was blue and the clouds were white. A normal summer’s day, warm and mild.

A few minutes after that we came to a fence, beyond which crops grew in large fields. Wheat or something similar as far as I could tell. In the distance stood buildings, maybe a dozen or so. It took us another hour of trudging around the edge of the field to finally arrive in town, although it more resembled a small village. A sign probably said the name of the place, but it was in a weird script I couldn’t read or even recognise.

Our escort led us to a large hut. We went around the outskirts so didn’t get a chance to see the town or its inhabitants properly, although there were banging noises coming from somewhere and weird smells I couldn’t identify.

Inside the hut were rows of benches. People sat down and immediately started complaining. The soldiers came round with a pail of water and a small cup we had to share. We were also given a bun that tasted sweet. It wasn’t bad. Then we were shown where the toilets were, and a mad rush followed.

I didn’t need to go, so I stayed sitting on one end of a bench and looked around the room. Apart from the benches, there was a desk and what looked like a map on the wall. Some boxes stacked next to the desk seemed to be full of clothes.

People returned from the bathrooms looking unhappy. Most RPG games didn’t take their realism all the way to needing toilet breaks, but I assumed facilities would be on the basic side. A hole in the ground, even.

As I tried to look for clues as to what kind of world this was and what it required from me, someone sat next to me. I turned to find the squinty black guy with the Batman onesie. I wondered if he was even a real person. If I really had become part of an advanced virtual reality game without knowing it, these people could all be computer-controlled NPCs.

Then again, who would program a character to look like this? Clearly he was another player, and judging by his appearance, maybe a huge nerd. He might actually be better at these sorts of games than me.

“Hey,” he said, “it’s like we’re inside some kind of computer game, isn’t it. My name’s Maurice, by the way.”

“Colin,” I said with a nod. “So, are you good at video games?”

“Can’t stand ‘em. I’m a board game purist, myself.”

Turned out he was such a huge nerd, even in the age of nerd empowerment, he ranked as totally useless.

Captain Grayson stood at the front, leaning on his desk like the cool teacher at school, only better armed, although I guess that depends on what kind of school you went to. He waited until everyone was back from the loo before straightening up and slapping his hands together.

“Right. First things first, you’ll be wanting to know where you are, how you got here, and why. That’s the big one, right? So, this town you’re in is called Probet. It’s in a country called Flatland, because it’s very flat.”

He raised his eyebrows like he’d revealed a valuable secret. When he got no response, he turned and pointed at the map behind him.

“We’re this bit in the middle. Nothing much here but farmland and forests. These are the four major cities.” He pointed to circular marks at the top, bottom, left and right of the map. “We can go into more about them later.”

He faced front again and folded his arms and took in a deep breath like he wasn’t looking forward to telling us the next part and needed to prepare himself. The room hushed in anticipation.

“As for how you got here and why, nobody really knows.”

A wave of grumbling and muttering washed over the unhappy audience.

“I know, it’s not what you wanted to hear, but that’s how it is. For the last century, every leap year, on the longest day of high summer, a group of young people appear in the glen where you woke up. Sometimes it’s three or four, sometimes, as in this case, it’s many more. These people are destined for greatness. If they can survive, that is. I won’t sugarcoat the truth for you, this is a hard land to live in, even for those of us born here. There are many things that will try to kill you. But if you can adapt, there are also great rewards that you can claim. Some of those who came before you have become legends.”

He sat back on the corner off the desk, very much giving off an impression of mission accomplished.

Golden Boy stood up a few rows behind me and spoke in a loud, irritated voice. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but we want to go home. Now. If you’re not going to tell us what’s really going on, give me a phone.”

“Don’t be such a dick,” said another guy. This one had a highly-groomed beard and a short back and sides so severe it must have been sculpted with a chisel. He didn’t have a top on and a sleeve tattoo covered his right arm. “Obviously they don’t have phones here. Did you not see that thing out there? I want answers just as much as you, bruv, but we ain’t going home any time soon, I can tell you that much.”

“You’re the dick, mate,” Golden Boy shot back. “Can’t you tell we’re being pranked? Probably cameras all over this place. Everyone’s having a good laugh at us, ha, ha, ha. Well fuck that. I’ve got better things to do than provide entertainment for free.”

The two alphas continued to snap at each other as more people joined in the pointless debate. I noticed Captain Grayson yawning. He had a ‘seen it all before’ expression on his face and seemed in no hurry to intervene.

“Just stop for a second,” said one of the girls, practically shrieking in order to get everyone’s attention. She was tall and athletic-looking, with straight brown hair in a bob, although her oversized white tee shirt made it hard to get a proper idea of her figure. Not that I was looking. “This is getting us nowhere. Let’s at least hear him out.” She turned to Grayson. “What is it we’re expected to do here?”

“Ah, okay,” said Grayson. “First we need to get you some clothes. Then each of you will be given a weapon. We only have a limited selection, but they’ll do for now. We’ll feed you for the next three days, but after that you’ll be expected to provide for yourselves, same as everybody else.”

“Provide for ourselves how?” asked the girl.

“There’s only one way,” said Grayson. “By killing monsters.”

“I’m a student, for God’s sake,” screamed the girl. “I don’t know how to kill monsters.”

“Now, now, don’t get hysterical,” said Captain Grayson, which is never a good thing to say to a hysterical woman. “Nobody expects you to hunt down ogres and wyverns. There are plenty of smaller, less dangerous beasts that I’m sure you’ll be able to handle.”

“I don’t care,” the girl said in the same high-pitched shriek. “I don’t want to kill anything! I’m not a murderer.”

This was met by a chorus of agreement from the girls sat beside her.

“I’m sorry,” said Captain Grayson, “but this land is overrun with monsters. It’s just a fact of life here. You don’t have to kill them if you don’t want to, but they certainly will try to kill you. We don’t call them monsters for nothing. Even if you don’t plan on hunting, you need to be able to defend yourselves. That’s why I’m going to give you each a weapon.”

He signalled two of his men who had appeared in the doorway, carrying an assortment of weapons, which they handed out randomly.

“These aren’t all that great, but they’re all we have. Feel free to swap them among yourselves if you want.”

There was more grumbling as the type of weapon each person received varied greatly. And I mean greatly.

People who received small swords, daggers and machetes seemed pleased. The ones who got handed sticks, metal rods and rocks attached to a bit of wood, less so. One guy got a whip — which looked cool but not that practical — and I saw a girl look horrified as a spiked ball was thrust at her. It wasn’t attached to anything, just a ball with spikes.

I was one of the people to get a stick. I think they had run out of real weapons and somebody had gone out and dug up a fence or something so we’d all have something. It was a bit like a baseball bat, so it could probably do a bit of damage, assuming it didn’t break in half.

Maurice got a metal rod, about the size of a fire poker. It was too thin to do any serious damage, but if he sharpened the end, he could probably take someone’s eye out.

Once everyone had their weapon, the trading started. Or at least, attempted trading. It was pretty obvious which weapons were better, and everyone wanted to trade up, not down. Arguments broke out, and now that everyone was armed, things felt quite scary. The soldiers stepped in and pushed people back into their seats.

“I know this isn’t ideal,” said Grayson, “but you will very quickly be able to get yourself something better. Don’t get hung up on anything right now, it’s all temporary.” He smiled with such confidence and lack of concern, it made me think things weren’t going to be so bad.

If this really was a game, a crappy weapon to start off with would be normal. I’d soon find a decent sword or axe or something. In the meantime, I needed to figure out the rules and how best to exploit them. Farming, grinding, doing simple quests — there had to be plenty of ways to level up fast.

I could do that stuff, maybe even do it better than some of these six-foot meatbags. I had quite a good feeling about the future.

“Have some faith in yourselves,” said Grayson, still smiling. “Looking at all of you young, healthy boys and girls, I’m confident at least one in three of you will make it.”

Which meant he expected two-thirds of us to die. If this wasn’t a game... The good feeling went away.

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    “Any questions?”For the next few minutes, Grayson fielded a barrage of different questions.“Is there a way for us to go home?”“Not right now. But that’s not to say there’s isn’t a way that hasn’t been found yet. You may be the one who discovers it.”“You said there were others before us. Where are they? Can we talk to them?”“They’ve all moved on, mostly to one of the big cities. If you meet one of them, I’m sure they’ll be happy to talk to you.”“Is this a game?”“No. I assure you this is not a game.”“Can we die?”“Yes.”“If we die, can we come back to life?”Grayson pulled a face. “Well, there are healers who can treat severe injuries, but once you’re dead, you’re dead, as far as I know.”“Are you sure this isn’t a game?”“I’m very sure.”“Does magic exist here?”“Yes.” This sent a buzz around the room as people got excited. “But it’s very rare, and people who can actually put it to good use are even rarer. Most blow off their own hands the first time they try it.”

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    5. Welcome to Probet

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    6. Taking Stock

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    11. Not Excalibur

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Latest chapter

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    243. The Older Woman

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    242. Further Beyond

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    241. Sister of No Mercy

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    240. Cockblocula

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  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    239. Planning for the Future

    We headed out of the temple with two of our members in wheelbarrows. Normally this would require some explaining. People don’t just push around unconscious bodies in gardening equipment, unless it’s a stag do that’s going very well.In this case, however, we were aided by the presence of druids, the local religious weirdos who everyone did their best to ignore.Coupled with the fact we were coming out of the temple everyone believed could do no wrong (never fails to amaze me how ready the faithful are to confuse turn the other cheek with turn a blind eye) and they assumed we must have had a good reason to use this particular form of public transportation.The crowds in the square simply parted for us as they went about their business. My own thoughts were preoccupied with the strong suspicion that Arthur, the one in the crypt, was another manifestation of Joshaya. The roleplaying was of a very high standard, and the cosmetic touches were really well done, but there

  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    238. Lead Me Not into Temptation

    “Destroy? You mean as in kill? You want to kill Peter.” The voice, for all its unsettling menace — hard to come across as anything else when you’re emanating from a stone coffin — had a tinge of genuine shock to it. He was horrified by the prospect of what I’d suggested. “Oh, I couldn’t do that. Absolutely not.”Disappointing.“You don’t control dead people, then? You aren’t a necromancer?”“I told you, I’m a vivimancer.”“I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of that before. What does it mean?”“It means I can heal, I can prolong life. Other people’s and my own. It’s the reason I’m in here. My body was starved of food and air, but my life force abides.”“You aren’t dead?”“I am and I am not.”“And Peter put you here, but you still don’t want to get him back?”“Not by robbing him of life. I mean, I wouldn’t like it if someone did that to me, so why would I do it to someone else?”Someone had done it to him. I didn’t point this

  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    237. Hold the Moan

    There were four lights in all. Three smaller one, and the big one that seemed to do all the talking. The red balls hanging in the air suggested eyes, but not in a Sauron ‘I see everything’ kind of way, more a HAL ‘Hello, Dave’ kind of way. A harmonised version of Daisy, Daisy could break out at any moment.There’s a rumour, strongly denied, that HAL, in the movie 2001, was meant to represent the firm IBM. If you take a letter away from each of the letters in I-B-M you get H-A-L.But it was never the hardware that was going to be the problem for the future of mankind. If you made the same kind of movie today, the insane AI watching your every move would be something more like Facebook, but you’d face the same problem. You couldn’t use the name without getting sued. You’d have to take a letter away from each of its initials to make up a completely fictitious evil company. FB would become... Oh, wait.“You have returned to set us free,” said the big light. There was a

  • How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis    236. Freedom for All

    Jenny was not happy. She was the sort of person who prided herself on not being a nag. She presented herself as a supportive partner willing to back me up in whatever retarded idea I came up with. She’d tell me it was retarded, but that wouldn’t stop her having my back.Which is cool. People should only tell you not to do something if they have a better option. One they know works due to experience and wisdom, not because they think it will help them whore karma on Reddit.Under those conditions, hardly anyone would get to tell anyone else what to do. People would make mistakes, of course, but they would be valuable mistakes that would help the person grow and improve.This time, however, Jenny was not in the mood to stand by and allow me to go skipping off into the jaws of danger. Not without her mooring line firmly attached.“If he disconnects himself from me,” said Jenny, “won’t he die? I thought I was the only thing keeping him alive.”“Yes. Techn

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