2. Welcoming Committee

The armour worn by the approaching men wasn’t exactly Roman legionary level, but not far off.

“I think someone’s coming.” No one heard me, even though I said it quite loud. No surprise. I turned around and cupped my hands around my mouth. “Oi! Company.” I jerked a thumb towards the trees behind me.

Having got their attention, the others all swarmed towards me. And then past me.

As they all rushed to see who was coming, I noticed how many of the girls were dressed in skimpy outfits. Possibly a strange time to be checking out the ladies, what with potential murderers about to hack us all to death, but everyone deserves a last meal. The pretty, dark-haired girl who helped me earlier wore a particularly cute silky number. She hurried past, taking great care not to look in my direction.

The last of the stragglers was a black guy who really stood out from the crowd. He had an untidy afro, teeth that didn’t seem to fit in his mouth, and he was wearing a onesie decorated with characters from the movie Batman, the Tim Burton one. Fair play to him, he was dressed for both comfort and warmth. He even had his feet covered, which would help if we had to make a run for it.

He squinted as he stumbled towards me. I swiftly turned and chased after the others. Just as Pretty Girl didn’t want to get stuck with me, I didn’t want to get stuck with him.

I only took a few steps before the crowd started backing into me. The men in the trees had emerged. There was one leader, identifiable by his superior armour and flashier sword, followed by six men carrying swords without fancy engravings on their blades, which looked very sharp nonetheless.

“Please remain calm,” said the leader. “I am Captain Lari Grayson. I’m here to help.”

I could understand what he was saying, but for some reason it didn’t feel like English. If I stared at his lips as he spoke, the words didn’t quite fit. But this made it harder to listen to what he was saying, so I decided to concentrate on that instead.

“The first thing we need to do is get moving. It’s about an hour’s walk to town, and then we’ll get you some clothes and food.” And there was no accent, just a neutral tone.

Nervous muttering started to spread.

“Where are we?”

“Why are we here?”

“What’s going on?”

From their voices the other people seemed to be British, with accents ranging from north to south. 

“I know you all have questions, and I’ll be happy to answer them once we get back, but it isn’t safe to stay here. Nothing my men can’t handle, but it would be better to avoid trouble. There’s more of you than we were expecting, so it’s important we stick together. If we are attacked, don’t panic and run off. And don’t try to help. Just stay behind us, we’ll take care of it.”

“Attacked? What does that mean?”

“Attacked by who?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

All excellent questions, and more than adequately answered by the huge monster that burst into the clearing, smashing through the trees with a deafening roar.

The girls started screaming. Some of the boys joined them. One of those boys might have been me. 

The thing was huge, more than twice as tall as a human. It had a hairy, ape-like body and a neanderthal type of face. But definitely the face of a person, not an animal. Something about it felt familiar, but it wasn’t until a soldier called out, “Ogre!” that the pieces fell into place.

Hearing that word put everything together for me in one mind-blowing moment of clarity. I knew where I was. The fairy, the ogre, the soldiers with swords... this was an RPG.

I had played dozens of similar video games, I recognised all the classic tropes of a fantasy setting, but these weren’t computer graphics. I hadn’t tried Oculus Rift, or any of the latest virtual reality devices, but I was pretty sure they hadn’t got to this stage yet. Everything, from the grass under my feet to the clouds in the sky not only looked like the real thing, I felt the wind against my skin and smelled the musty scent of plants and trees.

The ogre, a classic RPG mob, didn’t quite match what I’d expect in game, but it was close enough. A large humanoid creature that looked primitive and angry. It roared and lunged, pounding the ground with its gigantic fists.

The soldiers formed a semicircle around the ogre, waving and shouting at it. If it moved to attack one of them, a soldier on the other side would start calling it.

“Hey, dummy. Over here! Over here!”

Spoilt for choice, the stupid thing looked this way and that trying to decide who to kill first. And then Captain Grayson appeared on the creature’s shoulder.

How he got up there, and how he did it without the ogre noticing, I have no idea, but by the time it realised, the Captain had his sword plunged into its tree-trunk-like neck.

The ogre’s scream was even more terrifying than its roar, and a geyser of blood shot into the air. Plenty of screams were added to the mix from the people behind me. I realised while I watched the fight unfold like a cut-scene in a game, the others had all sensibly retreated to the other end of the clearing. But I couldn’t accept what I was seeing was real and just stood there.

Captain Grayson clung onto his embedded sword as the ogre thrashed about trying to grab him, but ended up spinning in circles like a dog chasing its tail. Blood sprayed in all directions. I jumped back to avoid getting covered in it.

The ogre slowed and finally collapsed, first to its knees, then flat on its face. Its last act was to loudly evacuate its bowels, ejecting a mass of green-black sludge that filled the air with a disgusting stink they’ll never be able to recreate at your local IMAX.

I walked closer to the dead monster and reached out to touch it, wanting to prove to myself it was some kind of hologram. It couldn’t possibly be real.

“Don’t,” said Grayson as he rolled off its back and wiped his sword on the grass. “They sometimes carry diseases.”

I snatched back my extended hand. The last thing I wanted was to take damage from some random debuff. I was even starting to think like I was in a game.