Fidgeting her fingers and praying God to give her enough courage, she finally walks to the boy for whom she felt slightly more than a school-girl should. She was more nervous to talk with him than giving her first boards last to last year. She gulped the lump formed in her throat and looked at him.
He was sitting on his bike outside the school, with his friends surrounding him. With a boring school uniform -white school shirt, grey pants and a grey tie- he still looked like the handsome boy, famous in social media . His long hairs that often caused him to earn a bunch of scoldings, shined under the sunlight. His brown eyes had a spark as his mouth opened and shut, cracking jokes.
They were laughing and teasing each other. And that's what she was afraid of. What if they laugh on her too? What if she just embarrasses herself there? What if they start teasing her? What if she will be bullied?
But what if 'he' smiles at her? What if he accepts her proposal? What if she and he live happily ever after? The positive soul within spoke.
Nodding at her thought she takes a step forward.
"H__Hi. " She cussed herself for stuttering while just saying a Hi. How will she propose him?
The boys turned to her and they stopped laughing. It was quite shocking to see her coming and initiate a conversation as she was a nerd, who always focussed on her front bench and her textbook. They only needed her in times of exams. No more no less.
"Yeah? "
"Uh.. Tan i please.. Talt to you? " She asked the only boy she wanted to talk to. Her eyes focussed on her shoe as she pointed the boy with her frail hand.
[Uh.. Can I please.. Talk to you? ]
The boy looked at his friends in amusement before jumping down the bike. "Fine." His friends turned to each other, having side eyes on her.
They went to a corner and she closed her eyes. Inhaling a deep breath, she spoke in one breadth as she forwarded the red rose. "I don't know why but I really lite you. I don't know why but my heart goes trazy just by your mere presence. I know you have a dirl, whom you really lite but she rejected you. So, I.. I thought I should confess this once, before leaving this school. I'm.. Sorry. "
[I don't know why but I really like you. I don't know why but my heart goes crazy just by your mere presence. I know you have a girl, whom you really like but she rejected you. So, I.. I thought I should confess this once, before leaving this school. I'm.. Sorry. ]
She didn't know why she said sorry? Was it because of that handsome face, that fought to laugh at her or at the fact that she just told him that he was rejected by his own crush.
As in cue, he could not control anymore and the laughter escaped his lips as he understood the nerd's wordings. Did she just proposed him? What in the world did she thought before proposing him?
"Ever looked at mirror? Girl, you are a walking freak and a speaking mess. Half of the time you speak, we have to work our senses to know what you are speaking. But i must say, for a nerd like you, you are quite brave. " He said, taking the red rose and examining it's fresh petals carefully.
Before throwing it and crushing it with his shoes.
"To propose someone who is out of your league, is not easy. I appreciate it but it would be better if you propose someone in your level. Maybe who stutter? It would be a deadly combination." He joked and walked back to his friends while shaking his head at her guts.
Tears gathered in her dull eyes, and she looked at the laughing group. He probably had told them everything and she felt the need of drowning in her own tears. It was the last day of her school. Today was last exam. Thus they will never meet again. She was thankful.
She wiped her tears, looking at her crushed rose- feeling the crushed feelings, and walked to the temple where she always prayed before taking any step. Temple of Lord Shiva. Bholenath! Mahadev! Healer of healers and destroyer of destroyers!
There her tears lost its path as she looked at Mata parvati, ganesha and kartikey sitting with the Shiva. The smile in parvati's face and her hand wrapped around her sons created a feeling of envy. How much she wanted to have a mother for herself, to protect her, to whom she could share everything. But who said life gives you everything you wish for?
She sobbed as she remembered the photo of her maa who died while giving her birth.
You're a bad omen.
You ate your mother. You will never be in peace.
You ruined my doll, God will ruin your life.
You're a peice of shit, a burden on earth.
No one can ever love you. Who will, anyway, like a pig with ruined throat.
Memories were triggered. She fell down in her knees as she let her tears out. She cried and cried and cried.
|||||______|||||______|||||______
"In this bright future, you can't forget your past. "•••°°°•••°°°•••°°°•••°°°•••°°°•••°°°•••°°°••𝙻𝚊𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚊'𝚜 𝙿𝚘𝚟. "You are getting stubborn, Yash." I took out a pack of Lolipop and before i could offer it to the one and the half year old toddler, he snatched it from me. "Mom's gonna lock you in bathroom." I glared at him playfully."Lolii..." He just showed me his small white teeth and asked me to unwrap the lolipop. His big eyes giving me a warning for a mischief. I took it and unwrap it for him as he gave me the smile which can melt anyone's heart."Its Milky tim---LAVANYA!!" Trisha yelled my name as if i met an accident and widened her eyes as if she just saw me naked. It was neither of the situations."You're giving him a lolipop again? Do you know how crazy he is becoming about these lolipops? He doesn't want me as long as you are there, just because you give him his candy and i, his milk!!" I rolled my eyes at her dramatic ass and looked at Yash who was licking his ca
"Did you drink?" I asked dad as i opened the door for him. He looked at me with his narrowed eyes. "I'm not your son. Moreover, i don't drink anymore." He replied and i rolled back my eyes. "Same thing you said last year, when you drank two whole glass of ...what ..yeah, whiskey. " I offered him a glass of water and sat beside him. "That was when i didn't knew my condition." My smile halted as he spoke. "Now i will take no risk to harm myself and see you getting marry without joining your mother." "Dad.." i whined and hugged him. He chuckled. "Everyone is just asking me to marry. Can't i live my life by my own?" "You need someone to live your life with. Someone to shower your life with happiness and love. Someone who can rely onto you and you onto him." He spoke. "You lived your life alone." "I had your mom, then you. I was never alone. But you know that's not your case." He ran his fingers in my hairs that i inherited from my mom. Black, silky and straight. "Then i will adopt
The trinkling sound of my anklets came to a halt when i saw dad in the white bed. He was being taken in an operation theatre. For what? He was well before i left him. Before he went to his work place as his colleague faced some difficulties to defend a case. A man of my dad's age looked at me and advanced. He had a black court on. His eyes teary as well. "He was guiding me to fight a case when he suddenly coughed badly. He felt a sharp pain and he coughed some blood clottings. I rushed him to hospital and now the doctor is operating him." He informed "What did they say?" I asked in a mere whisper. It suddenly seemed a heavy task to voice out my own thoughts. "They said... it..it might be last of hi--" "No. He's gonna return smiling and asking for his pakodas. I know it. " i will never accept that this is his last day. He has to return. To see me in the bridal lehenga that he wanted so keenly. To see me smiling when i leave to my in-laws. It was his last wish. An hour went by and
Lavanya's pov"Should i prepare something for you?" Our helper asked and i shook my head as i continued to stir the tomato soup. "Shall i leave then? All the cleaning are done. " i nodded and she left.Dad came back to our home yesterday. He was extra grumpy about his diet but know its significance so when i ask him to eat those green vegetables or the soups, he takes it. He still makes faces seeing those tablets but it is less scary than my face, like he say, and gulps it.I turned the knob to lowest and moved across the hall to lock the doors. Dad was reading newspaper with a frown and i snatched the newspaper. Knowing he must be reading those crime-cases and running his lawyer-mind. He was not allowed to take stress."Its better to live in a prison." He mumbled under his breath. Before i could reply him, there was a knock at the door and looked there.Revti aunty stood there, dressed in blue banarasi saree. Dad welcomed her and she obliged as sat in the sofa across the dad's. I retu
"Now, you will have to paint your hands with henna." Ruchika wiggled her eyebrows , showing me the cone. Her own hands being full Red. Vansh was loading her cousin's bags in a car. It was yesterday when Harini's official betrothal ceremony was organised, inviting all the business partners and clients, and i was announced to marry the elder son of this house.Vansh was spell bound as it was just a week ago, when he said he wanted me to marry his brother but then he did not wanted to call me bhabhi. Ruchika was excited for another wedding in house, that meant her extension of holidays in college. Others were happy with the decision but were little off that, their son will be ghar jamai.Stereotypes.I had seen Abhishek, my soon-to-husband, in the ceremony when he was unaware of his own marriage. His name had bought a shiver down my spine, when i heard it for the first time. But took it as a mere coincidence. But when i saw him for the first time, I was frozen. The feelings that i though
Vansh was interrupted in the mid by a certain voice. "Is she rea--Lavi?" It was Dad. He stood frozen in his place as he looked at me. He was not shocked. He was surprised.Seeing me in a red bridal lehanga, bangles, jewelleries and make-up, was his wish. I kept the phone on the table. Dad came and stood behind me, looking at me, from my reflection. "You know if your mom would be here, what she would have done?" I shook my head, excited for his next move.He took some kohl from my make-up kit and put it behind my ears. "Buri nazar na lage, meri gudiya ko." His eyes were glassy and his face resonated pain.(Evil eyes off, my doll.)"We'll give the duo some personal time." Trisha announced and left with Vansh and Ruchika. I appreciated it. "I had a talk with Abhishek ji. He's a nice man. He will keep you safe, i know. Just understand, it was too sudden to him. Maybe more than you, he was unprepared for marriage." Dad told, assuring me and i mentally thanked abhishek.Though we still nev
Once reached, Revti ran to Lavanya's room and her steps froze as she saw Laksh (lavanya's dad) sitting lifeless in a chair. His head hanged down while legs stretched out. Trisha was sitting beside the unconscious Lavanya as Vansh consoled Ruchika. "Mom." Vansh whispered. "He..He left. She ..fainted""Lavanya? Did you splashed some water droplets?" Vansh shook his head and revti rushed to Lavanya. Abhishek stood there unknown of what to do. "Bring a sugar-salt solution." Revti demanded as she splashed the water droplets on Lavanya.𝙇𝙖𝙫𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙖'𝙨 𝙥𝙤𝙫As i opened my eyes a little slowly, i looked at Revti aunty who looked back at me with worried gaze. She had sweat-beads on her forehead that showed how tense she was. I tried to sit in my place, but my head spinned. It was as if someone was continuously knocking a hammer in my head. "Careful.." i heard revti aunty. She offered me a glass and asked me to gulp down. I followed. My own power of thinking, seemed to drain out. "You
Lavanya's pov.The body of my Dad laid there, on a flower bed with his dead face, and revti aunty and her family were sitting in a white mat, all of them dressed in white clothes except a pinch of sindoor on ladies' and a red dupatta. They were probably waiting for me to arrive so that the funeral rites could start."Lavi. You want something?" I shook my head at Revti aunty's question and stood behind. She motioned me to sit beside her and i followed. "You are dressed in pink. Change into White, lavi." Sonali aunty whispered and i shook my head in answer."Dad never liked white colour." I answered. Dad always said that wearing white in a funeral is never a compulsion. We need to have peace within ourselves , before letting our clothes symbolise it.Sonali aunty nodded and asked the men to start the rite. Dad's friends had also arrived here as i called them early in the morning. "Girdhar...My son." A pleadingly voice echoed in the silence, followed by many. The family on papers arrive
It was just a random night after the doctors declared lavanya as physically fit, when lavanya was seeing the moon from Vihaan's baby room. She remembered how Vihaan told her that moon has his sister was sitting in the balcony, in the lap of their maternal grandparents, looking at them with a wide smile. Abhishek still tried to appear normal, thinking that lavanya cannot smell the smoke from his coat and know why he started coming late. He would excuse it for the hike in work but she knew it better. The dark patches around their eyes were nothing but a deep pain that was covering their hearts. They still slept in each other arms but they no longer shared themselves, except the random conversations about Vihaan. It seemed like they went back to the phase where they had started being awkward in the absence of any topic to talk about. Tomorrow was the day when Vihaan will be going to attend his school for the first time. The child was really excited and didn't stopped talking about his
.Her. Its a girl. A smile formed in her lips, but it was gone in the next moment. Her baby was not the prime focus to be saved, she was. How easily she chose trisha over her unborn back then. Even trisha told her that she was not upset by her decision to save her. But now when she was in the same spot, why she found her mother's decision valid? Why she wanted to give her life if it can give life to her girl?But then the moments she spent with Abhishek and Vihaan, flashed her mind. She knew her babygirl won't go through what she did in her life. She didn't had anyone other than her dad, and thus craved for a family. But her baby will have. She knew her babygirl won't be as fearful as she was. Because she will have a grandma like Revti who pulled her mumma from fears. Nobody wanted her (lavanya) and blamed her for her mother's death. But her girl won't be blamed and will be most loved, because her family won't be pathetic as them.But Abhishek and Vihaan?"Doctor!" She called out
"Now spread it like this." Lavanya slided the plastic knife over the bread and her 16 month son tried to take the knife from his mom. "Ok, now its your turn." She helped him spread the home-made jam over the bread.Once done, vihaan took the bread and ate it with his little teeth. The strawberry taste of the gem made him spin around and wave his hands in air. His way of saying wonderful. Lavanya laughed with him and quickly ate a bite of the bread before copying him. The baby giggled and spread his arms for her to pick him up and hug him. She did and kissed his chubby cheeks."Lavii, is breakfast ready?" Abhishek asked, descending the chairs while adjusting his watch. "Daddaaa.." Vihaan screamed in joy and pulled lavanya's hairs in excitement. Lavanya hissed keeping him down and the kid ran to his father."Careful, vihu!" Lavanya shouted but who she was kidding? Vihaan knew every inch of the house, even the corners she didn't knew before.She shook her head before taking the breakfa
"Shh...stop crying baby, look mumma has so many toys. Wanna play?" I tried to console my two month old baby boy, Vihaan, who was crying continuously from an hour. No matter how hard i try, he didn't stopped crying."Hungry? Is my boy hungry? Come, mumma will feed you." I opened the buttons of blowse and took Vihaan near my breasts but he didn't latched like other times and now tears pooled in my eyes. "What happened baby? Are you angry from mumma? Please stop crying."I hooked back my blowse and took him in a hug, patting his back. "My baby, my sweetheart. Stop crying." I cooed but he was not in the mood to shut his crying. "Are you hurt somewhere? Let mumma see." His tears were like a dagger for me.I laid him down on the mattress and took off his clothes slowly until he was in his birthsuit. I checked for any discomfort but there was none. "You want massage? Lets massage you!" I took the baby oil from the side table and started massaging him while making some funny faces.For a seco
The next day, abhishek took lavanya to kanpur and left her there with a heavy heart. He drove back, not wanting to see her never-ending tears. Their family tried to stop him but he just shook his head.Due to driving so much, his body was sore and he laid on his bed (after informing that he reached) to take a nap. But an hour passed and he was still wide awake. He missed his wife in his arms and the bump he will always draw patterns in. While in Kanpur, lavanya sat in her new bed as she munched in her sweet-corns, and ignored everyone who tried to talk to her."I agree she is angry from bhai, but why is she not talking to us?" Vansh was irritated. Ruchika nodded her head as everytime she went to feel the baby, lavanya asked her to leave her alone. "Its her hormones, beta. She is just upset that Abhishek left her here. In no time, her mood will automatically change." Revti answered."Lets cook her favorite dish, she will be fine." Sonali suggested and all agreed. .. Lavanya looked
Pregnancy comes with many hardships. And with lavanya, it was already worsening day by day. She kept vomitting everything she ate and the morning nausea did not let her sleep properly. Abhishek tried his best to convince her to eat even if she vomits it. But lavanya had strictly told him that she will only live by water, but she won't vomit. It took all her energy. "Baby, if you won't eat anything, how will you take care of our baby?" He said rubbing her back as she laid over him, like a lazy dog. "I already feel exhausted in two months. Vomitting just makes it worst." She mumbled, trying to sleep. "Because you are not eating anything. You want to have your milk shake? Ice-cream or anything?" He asked, not caring if it was healthy or not. He only wanted her to eat anything or it might be a problem. "No. I just want to sleep." He sighed at her answer and rubbed her back, patting it slightly. "If you don't eat four meals atleast in a day, i'm going to tell your students that you w
The two days went in a blink as the day of their reception arrived. It was also the completion of six months of their marriage and thus Lavanya performed the rituals of removing the chuda with the ladies. She was excited. One day back, she resigned from her job and decided to open her own psychology classes after they return from their honeymoon. Vansh proposed Kritika near the India gate and the latter cried in happiness. Their parents were happy and they decided to marry them in the next year. Lavanya got ready in her gown that she saved before, when arms snaked through her waist. "You look stunning." Abhishek muttered, hugging her and she leaned back. "And you look beautiful." She said, muffling her laughter, knowing he only loved 'handsome, hot and sexy' as compliment. He twirled her in his arms and pulled her close. "Beautiful, huh?" He slammed his lips on hers and she kissed him back, messing his hairs. "Now what's your take?" He asked as she panted for air. "You are
"Abhishek, it's difficult. It's too difficult to cope up with the new atmosphere especially when you are a child who could not speak properly. There were only few who would try to understand me patiently, without making fun of me. Most of them would only make me feel differentiated, as if I was not a human who can be hurt too. Just because I chose to not fight back, so my dad won't get to know about all of it, they thought I was their.. Experiment bag. They would lock me in empty rooms, tear my notebooks, hide my bag, throw water on me and most importantly, they would hurt me by their sharp language. Or pata hai, ek baar jab aap ye soch lete ho ki shayad aap me hi koi kami hogi, toh har buri cheez hone me aap apne aap ko hi blame krte ho. Koi aapka message seen krke chor de, abruptly call end krde, aapki taraf dekh ke Hass de, ya apni nazre pher le. Aisa lagta ki you are just worthless. Confidence ki toh band baj jati hai. Na Mai class me kabhi answer de paayi, na kabhi kisi competi
As lavanya opened the doors of their room, she looked at the black suit jacket of Abhishek, hanging on the railings. She ignored it, going down when she noticed that the dining table was all set with the breakfast and Abhishek was just sitting on his chair. Just sitting. When he felt her presence, he turned to look at her and for a second their eyes met, before she averted her eyes. Once again, she felt uncomfortable from his gaze. It was as if she had gone to square one. All the progress, all the steps she made towards him, were going vain. She took her handbag from the table, ignoring the shivers his eyes sent her. And before she could take step away, he stopped her by wrist and she hissed. His hold loosened and he made her sit on a the chair next to his and took the first-aid box that he made sure to bring here. He put the ointment in her wrist, on the cuts. She hissed in the sensation and he fought back the tear that was about to escape, knowing it was because of him and his an