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Twenty-Four
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2024-10-29 19:42:56“Good morning.” Hiro-san smiled at me when I entered the living room. “I was just going to wake you up. Your coffee is ready.”
I stared at him.
Last night, thanks to this guy, I had not wanted to go to sleep. This morning, thanks to this same guy, I wished that I had not woken up.
This isn’t good.
This isn’t good at all.
“Good morning...” I mumbled and went over to the coffee table where he had set down two mugs of coffee just then. He had proceeded to sit on the two-seater couch. He raised an eyebrow in what looked like amusement when I took my mug and went to sit on the single-seater adjacent to the one he was sitting on despite there being space beside him but made no comment on it.
“You have work, don’t you?”
“Yes. I’ll leave after coffee.”
“Mm.” He picked up his mug. “Stay for breakfast.”
“I’ll get late.” I shook my head.
“We can have a really quick breakfast.”
“I can’t. I have to go.” I can
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‘I will not be able to make it. I’m still hung up with work.’ I read the text, put my phone away and looked towards Hikaru-nii’s room. He had just finished his shower and stepped out. I texted Hiro-san back. I know that he hadn't quite asked about it but I reported it to him anyway. ‘He’s home and well.’ It took a minute for me to receive a reply. ‘Did he say anything?’ ‘No.’ ‘Did you talk to him?’ ‘No.’ ‘Shouldn’t you?’ I should, shouldn’t I? “Kakeru, have you eaten?” Hikaru-nii came out of his room and went over to the kitchen counter on which I had left the food. “No. Not yet.” I replied and got up from the couch. “Let’s eat together.” “Mm.” He grabbed a plate off the shelves and began serving himself. I sighed and followed him to the dining table after getting my own food. I really should talk to him about it. “What about Hiromitsu?” He asked as he began eating without e
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Hiro-san ended up borrowing the bike like he had said that he would. He came by my place at around 05:00 am. Without waking Hikaru-nii up and locking up behind myself with my key, I followed Hiro-san out to the bike. It was a rather cold morning and, while we were riding, especially, the only way that I could fight the chill was by hugging Hiro-san from behind. It was very comforting and I held on as tightly as I could have. In fact, just for those three hours of journey between Hikaru-nii and Aki-chan, with just the two of us, I felt at my most peaceful. I had nothing to worry about except for holding on tight. Do not let go. We arrived at the old house that Kaori-nii’s mother and sister’s family stayed in a little before 08:00 am. Since it was early in the morning, the roads were open for us. We had covered good distance in short time. I cannot say that I was entirely mentally prepared for what that meeting with Aki-chan would mean to me and
Home Twenty-Seven
“They fell asleep in the TV room.” Akari-san came into the dining area carrying Kenta-kun in her arms. He was almost completely asleep. Or rather, it looked like he had been sleeping but got woken up when his mother had picked him up. He didn't look too happy about it either. “My husband’s putting Maki to bed.” I nodded, understanding what she had meant. “Coming.” We adults had sat down to have dinner only after the kids had eaten. We had had things we needed to talk about. The kids had been watching TV while we ate because Aki-chan had refused to go to bed without playing with me a little more even though she had visibly been exhausted. It was no surprise that they had fallen asleep just like that. Hiro-san followed me to the TV room. We had stayed to help Kaori-nee’s mother wind up while Akari-san and Natsume-san had gone to check on the kids. Kaori-nii's mother and the others had wanted to hear more about how Hikaru-nii was doing and that was why the kids
Home Twenty-Eight
Hardly two minutes had passed since I closed my eyes and stopped myself from thinking about much else when I heard the door open behind me, making me turn to see who it was. “Hiro-san?” “Haven’t slept yet?” He smiled at me and closed the door behind himself. He had also changed into night clothes by then. You've got to be kidding me. “Go back to your room.” I turned away again. I was not really surprised to see him though. “Don’t be so cold.” He approached me slowly. “I don’t need this.” “Is that so?” He knelt on the bedding behind me, then leaned over, placing both hands on either side of me, looking down at me. “Kake-chan.” “I have told you not to call me that.” I said but did not budge. What was with him towering over me like that anyway? “You’re in a foul mood. Did it upset you that much that she did not hold on to you when you put her to bed?” It upset me that I was as helpless as I was. “I’m beggin
Home Twenty-Nine
Aki-chan had kicked up quite the fuss when it had come time for us to leave. We had been slowly preparing her for it but when I finally got out of the house with my bag, she couldn't play brave anymore. She had clung to my legs and started crying, saying that she did not want to be left behind. She wanted to go home with me. I had wanted to bring her back with me too. The only reason I was able to hold onto my composure and my sanity was that Hiro-san was mediating. Kaori-nee's mother was too but I don't think I would have been able to deal with her desperate cries had Hiro-san not been there to step in whenever I found myself at a loss for words. In the end, we had started much later than we had initially planned. The ride beack home was largely silent too. Hiro-san had let me hold on to him without question for as long as I needed it. By the time we had gotten to my apartment and I had walked up to the front door, the turmoil within had dulled been dulled t
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“No. Not yet.” I said into the phone. My father had called and enquired about Aki-chan and Hikaru-nii. “He needs more time, I think. It’s getting better though.” “He still does not answer phone calls.” He sighed. “Your mother’s worried sick. She’s been pestering me about wanting to come there.” “I don’t think that that will be a good idea. I mean, we have our own ways of living and… you really won’t be able to appreciate things as they are. Let’s just minimise chances of friction, shall we?” “I told her the same thing. The fact remains that we are worried though. We haven’t even been able to talk to him since the funeral happened and… we haven’t seen you either. We have nothing to go on but your words.” “I understand.” I was standing at the window in my room and looking out. There wasn’t really much of a view. I could only see the street next to our building. The cool night air felt good though. And it was the farthest that I could have gotten from Hi
Home Thirty-One
“Kuronomiya, you okay?” Yamato-san stopped me as I walked past his desk on the way to mine, returning from Hamada-san’s cabin. “I… heard about the mess up.” “It’s fine. I’ll figure something out.” I smiled weakly at him. “It’s not… a total loss. The client just decided that my proposal was not modern enough. I mean, I admit that it isn’t my best work.” “So, what now? You’re resubmitting?” … “No. I’m off the project.” “What? It was a huge one though! And… this is the kind of project that you excel at. Wha- I mean, how come…” He did not complete what he was going to say. ‘How come you messed up?’ ‘What went wrong?’ ‘This isn’t like you.’ ‘What happened to you?’ Hamada-san had already pinned me with all those questions earlier. I had had absolutely no answer to give. All I could do was apologise and promise to do better next time. “Yeah. I know. It was my fault entirely. I messed up.” I scratched the tip of my ear. “I’ll do better
Home Thirty-Two
“I’m… sorry. You should probably, um, leave. I’ll contact you when I’m feeling better.” I stumbled for words because of the look on his face.“You think I can just leave you like that?” His voice was rather stern. “After all this, you really think that I will just leave?”“… You should.”“Kakeru, look at me.” He caught me by both my shoulders and made me face him when I turned way. “Tell me everything.”You’re putting me in a really tough spot. You’re pushing me. Do not do this.“Kakeru.”“I got kicked off my own project.”“Wha- Your current project? Why? You’ve been working so hard on it.” He furrowed his brows.“Not hard enough. I messed up.”“That’s…” He sighed and gave my shoulders a good squeeze. “It’s okay. Ever
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“Kuronomiya-kun, you’re leaving already?” Yamato-kun asked when I got up from my desk after packing up. “Yes. I have somewhere to go.” I replied and said goodbye to Shirokawa-san as well who was sitting next to my desk. “Thank you for your good work.” “Likewise.” They called back. I dropped by Hamada-san’s cabin and informed him of my progress on the new project that I had been assigned to. He was rather pleased with my progress too. Conscience clear, I headed out into the 06:00 pm streets of Tokyo. I checked my phone out of habit. There were no calls or texts from my brother. There was, however, a text message from my boyfriend. ‘Come fast.’ ‘Half an hour.’ I replied and po
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“Where’s Hiro?” Hikaru-nii’s voice came from behind me as I was attending to the egg that I was frying. I turned to the doorway to find my brother leaning against the doorframe, his hands folded over his chest. He had been sleeping when I had gone to check on him earlier. So, I had started preparations for breakfast while trying to think of the various possible scenarios I would have to make my through once he woke up. “Not here… now.” I responded rather cautiously. “He hadn’t stayed?” He frowned. “I thought I had told him that he could.” “You… remember all that?” I had hoped that we could ease into this conversation but this being brought up right off the bat made me a little anxious. “I was a lot more sober by the time you had gotten home. I don’t remember sending
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“You’re still not done?” I asked as I sat on the floor next to Hiro-san at the coffee table after my bath. “Maybe… one hour more?” “That’s okay.” I leaned against his arm. “I’ll wait.” “If you’re sleepy, please go to sleep.” “I can’t sleep properly without you, Hiro-san.” A lie… Maybe. “What is with that?” He laughed and patted my head. “Then, you can wait.” I nodded. I was planning on waiting anyway. I had left my phone on the coffee table next to his laptop. When I began looking around, I saw that the notification light was blinking. I reached out to take it. “Had someone called?” “No. I think you had a message though.” Hiro-san replied. “I did not check.” It definitel was a message and it had surprised me enough to make me sit straight up on reading it. “It’s from Hikaru-nii.” “Hikaru?” Hiro-san stopped what he was doing and looked at my phone as I opened the message. There were just two words on the
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I was the first one to wake up the next morning. However, I could not even bring myself to move from the position that I was in. For one, Hiro-san was still holding on to me closely. Secondly, my back hurt a bit. Moreover, I did not exactly want to move. The clock on the bedside table revealed that it was a little past 10:00 am. I had managed to somehow apply for leave on my phone last night before falling asleep. Considering that I had been wide awake before it, it was incredible how much that sex had taken out of me- actually, taken out of Hiro-san and I. Once was far from enough for the both of us and by the time we settled into each other’s arms after that, we barely had enough energy left to move. I looked up at his sleeping face. It was no wonder that he was so popular. Anyone would want to see a face like that as soon as they woke up. Ah… Now I wanted to kiss him. It was past 10:00 am anyway. He had slept enough. I moved his arm
Home Forty-Eight
He held my gaze and slowly smiled. “You seem sure enough about this.” Sliding one hand down my right arm, he grasped my hand. “Let’s go back to bed though.” Saying that much and indulging in a soft kiss, he led me back to the bedroom. He came to a stop next to the bed, turned to face me and took both my hands in his. I gave him a questioning look. “You don’t have to treat me like one of your women.” “What? This?” He raised our hands to ask. “It’s not that I am trying to be really gentle or anything. It’s… Despite all my experience and how eager I am now,” he placed my hands on his chest and smiled sheepishly. “I feel like such a boy.” His heart was pounding against my palms. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. “When was the last time that you dated someone for real?” “Towards the beginning of college. Why are you asking me that now?” I shrugged. “Because I wanted to know.” Then I kissed him. “Because this is… amu
Home Forty-Seven
I opened my eyes fast because it was still too dark for me to see anything. I was breathing heavily and my eyes felt moist. There was a throbbing heaviness in my chest and my entire body felt numb. I had had a dream and it was painful enough to jolt me awake, almost crying, but I couldn’t even remember what it was about. It was rare for me to dream in the first place and, hence, a dream that was capable of leaving me in a wreck like that was even rarer. It made me close my eyes and try to recollect it again but all I could remember were the emotions and that I was not alone. Maybe… it was a good thing that I couldn’t remember it. I turned on my side and picked my phone up from the bedside table. The time was 01:57 am. I had barely just fallen asleep at 12:30 am too… I turned back and looked at Hiro-san. I was still lying on his arm but he had turned onto his back, his other arm lying over his stomach. He hadn't been awoken by my movement
Home Forty-Six
On unlocking the door, Hiro-san let me in first. He followed me in after locking the door and proceeded straight to the kitchen. "I'll get you something warm to drink. Go change or freshen up if you want to.” I could at least change into something warmer. “Mm. I’ll… be out on the balcony after that.” “Kakeru, it’s cold out on the balcony too.” He said apprehensively. “I’ll take a blanket with me.” I said and went into the bedroom. He had offered no further protest, so I changed into warmer home-wear, wrapped a blanket around me and headed out onto the balcony. It was a little cold but I felt a lot better after changing and wrapping myself up like that. With my back to the wall, I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to my chest, covering myself up with the blanket and looking out at the night. My eyelids felt heavy. It was probably because of all that crying from earlier. “Why are you sitting on the floor?” Hiro-san asked on findin
Home Forty-Five
What seemed like an entire lifetime to me was probably just an hour or so on the clock. That was all the time it took for Hiro-san to get there. I had already seen that shocked look on his face two times before. It was easier for me to offer up a smile the third time. Nevertheless, he was by my side in an instant- his eyebrows scrunched up in a way that told me that I was the only one finding this pattern of meeting strangely amusing. “Kakeru, what are you doing out here?” He crouched before me and took my face in his palms. The worry I saw on his face just then- I wished that I was seeing it on my brother’s. “Meeting out in the hallway like this is really becoming our thing, isn’t it?” I chuckled. “It shouldn’t be though. What happened?” He looked me up and down. “Where are your shoes?” He found them soon after asking, then looked at me seriously. “Hikaru?” I looked towards the door. “I don’t think he’ll want to see you now.” “Huh?” “
Home Forty-Four
Did I have to actually say it out anymore? It seemed to me as though he had already figured it out. I could not bring myself to admit it. Confronted like that, I could not bring myself to deny it either.I had thought that it would be easier to tell my brother about us. I had not told him till then because he was still mourning Kaori-nee and I was trying to be considerate. I had thought that he would understand.“Kakeru, answer me.”What for? And, then what?“Kakeru!”“We’re dating.” I finally said it.“What?” He lowered his voice, his eyes pinning me to every word that I spoke.“I-I said that we’re dating.” I spoke deliberately and clearly. “Hiro-san is my lover.”He stared at me, then nodded. “Lover.”I swallowed nervously. “Yes.”“Since when?”“Almost two months now.”
