There was a soft voice in my ear. Then, I was shaken lightly by my shoulder. “Kakeru.”
Ah… Too tired… “Un.”
“Kakeru? Kake-chan~” The voice continued. I was a little unregistering for a while but then, when I slowly opened my eyes, I was compelled to look around. I was alone at the table- the junior had already left.
“What?” The voice asked in a small laugh. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“I am.” I looked towards the person whose grey eyes were trained on me in amusement. “But… why are you here?”
“I came to pick you up. Hikaru said that you were drunk and needed assistance.” Hiro-san shrugged and gave me a casual smile.
“He… didn’t have to send you.” I sat up and yawned. “Was I alone when you came?”
“No. A friend of yours was here but I sent him off in a taxi.”
“Is that so? Then…” I stood up and adjusted my clothes. “Shall we go?”
Everything was still a little hazy for me. Even after standing up, I just stood there. I was feeling tired and lazy. I did not want to walk. I wanted to sleep. “Hiro-san.”
“Yes?” He looked at me in question.
“Could you lend me your back?” I asked him seriously. “Please?”
“My back?” He asked in confusion. “As in… you want me to give you a piggy-back ride home?” At that realisation, he grinned.
Convenient. I didn’t need to explain my intentions. “So… could you?”
He laughed. “There’s no way that I could refuse when you’re asking me so earnestly.” He crouched before me, his back to me. “Get on, you drunk idiot.”
“Be nice.” I frowned, put my arms around his neck and climbed onto his back. With his arms beneath my knees, he supported me and stood up with a little effort. “Am I heavy?”
“If I said that you are, would you get off and walk?” He asked, adjusted me on his back and began walking out of the bar and into the cold night.
“No.” I settled in and closed my eyes. The cold did not bother me much. It was probably just a five to seven-minute walk back home anyway. Hiro-san could handle it.
“I see where your niece gets her clinginess from.” He chuckled.
“I’m not clingy.” I frowned. Then, on second thought- “How is she like me though?”
“Your brother was prepared to pick you up and I was just about to leave after dinner. Aki-chan just refused to let go of Hikaru’s leg and wanted to come along.” He made his voice shriller to imitate Aki-chan. “Otou-san, me too! I too will go!” Then, he laughed. “She wanted to come pick you up but it’s time for bed and Hikaru’s strict about these things, right? So, I offered to come and get you instead.”
“Mm.” Aki-chan could get clingy sometimes, yes.
“Oi.” He shook me a bit. “Are you sleeping? Don’t sleep. I’m carrying you home. The least that you can do is keep me company by talking.”
“Ugh. I’m sleepy.” I grumbled. “Lemme sleep.”
“You… That’s why you wanted me to carry you? Are you a kid?” He laughed.
“Compared to you.” I returned.
“Hey! I’m not that much older than you either!”
“Yes.”
“…What?”
“Yes.” I repeated, uninterested. “Good night.” I adjusted myself into a more comfortable position.
“Agh. Don’t choke me! I’ll drop you right here!”
I loosened my hold a bit. “…Sorry.”
He cleared his throat. “Don’t you have work tomorrow? How could you get wasted?”
“My project’s over.” I reported. “And I haven’t taken another one up. I listened to you.”
“You listened to me? You didn’t take another one up just because I told you not to?”
“Mm.” I really just wanted to sleep. I couldn’t remember the last time that Hikaru-nii had given me a piggy-back ride. It felt… good. It was comforting. “I want to sleep, Hiro-san~”
“No. Don’t sleep.”
“I’m sleeping…”
“Do not sleep.”
“I’m… asleep…”
He almost dropped me but then held on when I tightened my grip around his neck and then, he laughed. “I was serious when I said that I’d drop you, Kake-chan.”
“Don’t call me that.” He had gotten me to open my eyes.
“Are you angry?” He asked, sounding rather pleased with himself.
“Go to hell.” I spat.
“Hey, now! That’s no way to talk to your senior.” He was surely enjoying himself at my expense.
“Then let me sleep.”
“We’ll be there soon. I’ll drop you off and then you can sleep.”
“…Don’t ever come to pick me up again if I call in drunk.”
“Isn’t that just mean? I’m even carrying you, you know?”
That was mean. “Sorry.”
I felt his shoulders tremble as he laughed again. “Kakeru.”
… “What?”
“Does your brother allow all this childish play?”
“I’m not childish.”
“Whatever. Does he allow it?”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Hm. It’s just that it’s unusual to see you cling so much. You’ve always been frank with what you say but… you don’t tend to physically express your affections much.”
“What?”
“You’re clinging really tightly right now. That scared that I would drop you?”
…
“I’m not going to leave you anywhere here. Rest assured.”
I knew that already.
I rested my head against his and got comfortable again, this time being careful not to choke him. “Why are you still single?”
“Huh?”
I touched his uniquely coloured hair before returning to wrapping my arms around his neck. “You’re kind, attentive and can clearly take care of others. How come you do not have a wife already?”
“Oi! Wife? Shouldn’t you say ‘girlfriend’?”
“Hikaru-nii has Kaori-nee.”
“That son of a bitch got married way too early. That’s his fault.”
“I’m a son of a bitch too then.”
“Wow. Now you’re talking like a drunk.” He burst out laughing, having to catch himself before the both of us ended up on the pavement.
Don’t drop me.
“So… why are you still single?”
“I don’t really know. I’ve dated a few girls up till University but now… neither do I have the interest nor do I have the time for a serious relationship.”
“You have a sad life.”
“Look who’s talking! You’re the one between us who is married to his job. How often do you even get drunk?”
“We both have sad lives.”
He chuckled. “Right.”
Speaking of sad… “I’m going to start looking for a place of my own seriously.”
“Hm? You’re… planning to move out?”
“Mm.”
“Oh.” The atmosphere changed. “Does Hikaru know this?”
“No.”
“Shouldn’t you be telling him this?”
“He’ll tell me to stay.”
“Then, stay.”
“No.” I cleared my throat and sniffed. My nose felt cold. Just my nose. “I’m… I can’t keep troubling them. We all have our own lives.”
“I see.” He nodded. I made him hold his head still again. “If that’s what you want… I’ll keep a lookout for you. But… tell Hikaru, okay?”
“Mm.” House. I needed to start house-hunting. “Hiro-san, I want to sleep.”
He sighed. “Fine. Sleep. Seriously… Such a kid.” He let out a small laugh.
“I’m not a kid.”
“Okay. Okay. Good night.”
“Good night.”
Finally. Sleep.
“Kuronomiya.” A female colleague of mine named Futaba Megumi approached me at my desk. “Yes?” “Hamada-san is looking for you.” “Ah. Thank you for telling me. I’ll go now.” I said, saved the document that I was working on and got up from my chair. Hamada Tetsuo-san was my immediate supervisor. We had a very cordial superior-subordinate relationship and so, it wasn’t odd that he would ask for me often. Being a bit of a workaholic helps me get my work done, at least, and so I had earned my place. I knocked on Hamada-san’s glass door. He waved me in immediately. “Ah, Kuronomiya-kun. I have to say, you’ve done quick and good work on your previous project.” “Thank you, Hamada-san.” I bowed. “It was thanks to your timely guidance.” “Mm. Well, I called you here for another reason though. I know that you have just finished a few major projects, both with your team and individually, but I would like to assign you something.” He would alw
Kaori-nee did not look too good but she had been eagerly awaiting our return by the time we had gotten home. Aki-chan and I had stopped by the medical store on our way home and I had bought her her medicine as well. Kaori-nee was more than ready to make me tea as usual too but I drove her out of the kitchen and tasked Aki-chan with keeping her company while I made tea for her and myself and an omelette for Aki-chan knowing that she would be hungry. It made me stop and think, really. Life was really peaceful as it was. I really did not want to move out… However, the fact that I was thinking so much about it was proof enough for me that I actually needed to move. I would be close-by anyway. I could still visit them, at least as regularly as our other “extended family member” did. Said “extended family member” showed up as usual for dinner that night too, just as we were finishing with our tea. “Where’s Hikaru?” Hiro-san enquired as he changed into the indoor sl
He had definitely been surprised to hear of it- my brother. It was two days after the chat with Hiro-san in the kitchen that I finally told Hikaru-nii and Kaori-nee about my decision to move. I had even told them about starting to look for my own place. Initially, the both of them had just heard me out and asked me to think about it more seriously. A day later, Hikaru-nii brought the both of us drinks and came into my room after Aki-chan had gone to sleep in her own room. We had a long brother-to-brother talk about a lot of things, starting from the issues we had had to face when we were still staying with our folks to after we had moved out and all that had happened after Kaori-nee too entered our lives. I figured that the point that he had wanted to make clear to me was that we had been by each other's side through a lot of the important things in our lives. He was sentimental. "We're family." It had taken me some time to work my way through the words t
“Kake-jii!” A shrill cry went up the moment that I opened the door to the house with my key. Even before I could announce that I was home, I had a pair of arms thrown around my legs and sobbing filled the entryway. While this shocked both Hiro-san and I into freezing up, my brother just stood there and shook his head in exasperation. Even Kaori-nee peeked around the kitchen doorway, greeted us and disappeared back inside. The little one, however, was practically pouring her heart out to me. “What happened? How come you’re crying?” I pat her head as soothingly as I could in my confusion. Hiro-san too crouched beside me and looked at her closely. “Hey, Aki-chan. What happened? Did your father get angry at you?” “Why is this my fault?” Hikaru-nii asked, coming over and trying to pull Aki-chan off my legs but to no avail. “Aki, you’re getting Kake-jii’s pants dirty. Give him some space. He just got home.” “I don’t want to! I don’t want to let Kake-jii go!
“Kakeru.” Hikaru-nii called softly and lightly shook me awake. “Oi. Wake up. It’s morning.” “Mm.” I turned over on my side. “It’s Sunday. Please let me sleep…” “It’s already late. Wake up.” He said, voice still low. That was weird in itself but I couldn’t really be bothered by it in my state of sleep. “Kakeru.” “I heard you.” I groaned and stretched my arm out a bit in trying to shoo him off. That was when I touched skin. I touched someone… small. I raised myself by my elbows, on my stomach and remembered the three-year-old sleeping next to me in her favourite yellow night dress only when I saw her peaceful features. She was still fast asleep. So that’s why Hikaru-nii was speaking so softly. “How many nights has this been now?” Hikaru-nii shook his head in defeat. “I don’t know… Four?” I slowly sat up and rubbed the sand out of my eyes. Aki-chan had woken me up at around 01:30 am saying that she wanted to sleep with me. This nigh
Aki-chan and I were playing with her building blocks when Hiro-san arrived a little over an hour later. Once he came, he was the one playing most of her games with her. I settled for just sitting back and watching, occasionally joining in. It was all so peaceful that I found myself promising to keep my Sundays as free as possible even after moving out. Since breakfast was late, Aki-chan wasn’t exactly hungry at lunch time. I did not want to delay it though because Hiro-san had not had even breakfast. So, eventually, all three of us ended up in the kitchen. Hiro-san was carrying Aki-chan and the both of them were following me around the kitchen, lending a hand whenever they could and keeping up a conversation about the most trivial things. … I owed my brother thanks for letting her stay here with me, although it would have been better had he and Kaori-nee been here as well. “She slept?” Hiro-san asked when I returned to the living room after leaving Aki-chan i
It was from the hospital. My perfect and careless Sunday had shattered with that one phone call. It was horrifying how one moment was all it took to make my previous worries seem insignificant. It was unbelievable. Hiro-san had tried his best to remain calm while relaying the news to us. Well, mostly to me. There had been an accident. A pretty bad one too. A T-junction. Hikaru-nii’s car and a truck. Those were all the points of information that my brain could take in. People on-site had reacted quickly. The two people in the car had been sent to the hospital immediately. The call was from a nurse there. Hikaru-nii had been conscious enough to convey to her that she needed to call me. By the time we had gotten to the hospital, the anxiety and fear had eaten me up alive for we had received no further information about it. Carrying a very confused Aki-chan, when we got there, the attending doctor informed us that Hikaru-nii had been taken in for
Sleep evaded me. The new project was also in full swing and in order to get out of office early enough to pick Aki-chan up from daycare, I was forced to bring some work home. Moreover, I had to cook for us. Not to complain, but I ended up taking over all of those chores that Kaori-nee used to take care of before. It was physically and emotionally taxing on me to try and keep the household together, especially since her earlier indulgent father had suddenly become cold to Aki-chan. Even to me. But there was nothing that I could say or do to ease his pain. Whenever Hiro-san came over, he brought food for us all. Otherwise, he would help me around the house. The visits, however, were nothing like before. He would come, try and fail to talk properly to Hikaru-nii, spend time with Aki-chan, help me out a bit, eat and just leave. From coming here because he was always warmly received, it felt like he was coming over only to check in on us. Save for those random occasions w
“Kuronomiya-kun, you’re leaving already?” Yamato-kun asked when I got up from my desk after packing up. “Yes. I have somewhere to go.” I replied and said goodbye to Shirokawa-san as well who was sitting next to my desk. “Thank you for your good work.” “Likewise.” They called back. I dropped by Hamada-san’s cabin and informed him of my progress on the new project that I had been assigned to. He was rather pleased with my progress too. Conscience clear, I headed out into the 06:00 pm streets of Tokyo. I checked my phone out of habit. There were no calls or texts from my brother. There was, however, a text message from my boyfriend. ‘Come fast.’ ‘Half an hour.’ I replied and po
“Where’s Hiro?” Hikaru-nii’s voice came from behind me as I was attending to the egg that I was frying. I turned to the doorway to find my brother leaning against the doorframe, his hands folded over his chest. He had been sleeping when I had gone to check on him earlier. So, I had started preparations for breakfast while trying to think of the various possible scenarios I would have to make my through once he woke up. “Not here… now.” I responded rather cautiously. “He hadn’t stayed?” He frowned. “I thought I had told him that he could.” “You… remember all that?” I had hoped that we could ease into this conversation but this being brought up right off the bat made me a little anxious. “I was a lot more sober by the time you had gotten home. I don’t remember sending
“You’re still not done?” I asked as I sat on the floor next to Hiro-san at the coffee table after my bath. “Maybe… one hour more?” “That’s okay.” I leaned against his arm. “I’ll wait.” “If you’re sleepy, please go to sleep.” “I can’t sleep properly without you, Hiro-san.” A lie… Maybe. “What is with that?” He laughed and patted my head. “Then, you can wait.” I nodded. I was planning on waiting anyway. I had left my phone on the coffee table next to his laptop. When I began looking around, I saw that the notification light was blinking. I reached out to take it. “Had someone called?” “No. I think you had a message though.” Hiro-san replied. “I did not check.” It definitel was a message and it had surprised me enough to make me sit straight up on reading it. “It’s from Hikaru-nii.” “Hikaru?” Hiro-san stopped what he was doing and looked at my phone as I opened the message. There were just two words on the
I was the first one to wake up the next morning. However, I could not even bring myself to move from the position that I was in. For one, Hiro-san was still holding on to me closely. Secondly, my back hurt a bit. Moreover, I did not exactly want to move. The clock on the bedside table revealed that it was a little past 10:00 am. I had managed to somehow apply for leave on my phone last night before falling asleep. Considering that I had been wide awake before it, it was incredible how much that sex had taken out of me- actually, taken out of Hiro-san and I. Once was far from enough for the both of us and by the time we settled into each other’s arms after that, we barely had enough energy left to move. I looked up at his sleeping face. It was no wonder that he was so popular. Anyone would want to see a face like that as soon as they woke up. Ah… Now I wanted to kiss him. It was past 10:00 am anyway. He had slept enough. I moved his arm
He held my gaze and slowly smiled. “You seem sure enough about this.” Sliding one hand down my right arm, he grasped my hand. “Let’s go back to bed though.” Saying that much and indulging in a soft kiss, he led me back to the bedroom. He came to a stop next to the bed, turned to face me and took both my hands in his. I gave him a questioning look. “You don’t have to treat me like one of your women.” “What? This?” He raised our hands to ask. “It’s not that I am trying to be really gentle or anything. It’s… Despite all my experience and how eager I am now,” he placed my hands on his chest and smiled sheepishly. “I feel like such a boy.” His heart was pounding against my palms. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. “When was the last time that you dated someone for real?” “Towards the beginning of college. Why are you asking me that now?” I shrugged. “Because I wanted to know.” Then I kissed him. “Because this is… amu
I opened my eyes fast because it was still too dark for me to see anything. I was breathing heavily and my eyes felt moist. There was a throbbing heaviness in my chest and my entire body felt numb. I had had a dream and it was painful enough to jolt me awake, almost crying, but I couldn’t even remember what it was about. It was rare for me to dream in the first place and, hence, a dream that was capable of leaving me in a wreck like that was even rarer. It made me close my eyes and try to recollect it again but all I could remember were the emotions and that I was not alone. Maybe… it was a good thing that I couldn’t remember it. I turned on my side and picked my phone up from the bedside table. The time was 01:57 am. I had barely just fallen asleep at 12:30 am too… I turned back and looked at Hiro-san. I was still lying on his arm but he had turned onto his back, his other arm lying over his stomach. He hadn't been awoken by my movement
On unlocking the door, Hiro-san let me in first. He followed me in after locking the door and proceeded straight to the kitchen. "I'll get you something warm to drink. Go change or freshen up if you want to.” I could at least change into something warmer. “Mm. I’ll… be out on the balcony after that.” “Kakeru, it’s cold out on the balcony too.” He said apprehensively. “I’ll take a blanket with me.” I said and went into the bedroom. He had offered no further protest, so I changed into warmer home-wear, wrapped a blanket around me and headed out onto the balcony. It was a little cold but I felt a lot better after changing and wrapping myself up like that. With my back to the wall, I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to my chest, covering myself up with the blanket and looking out at the night. My eyelids felt heavy. It was probably because of all that crying from earlier. “Why are you sitting on the floor?” Hiro-san asked on findin
What seemed like an entire lifetime to me was probably just an hour or so on the clock. That was all the time it took for Hiro-san to get there. I had already seen that shocked look on his face two times before. It was easier for me to offer up a smile the third time. Nevertheless, he was by my side in an instant- his eyebrows scrunched up in a way that told me that I was the only one finding this pattern of meeting strangely amusing. “Kakeru, what are you doing out here?” He crouched before me and took my face in his palms. The worry I saw on his face just then- I wished that I was seeing it on my brother’s. “Meeting out in the hallway like this is really becoming our thing, isn’t it?” I chuckled. “It shouldn’t be though. What happened?” He looked me up and down. “Where are your shoes?” He found them soon after asking, then looked at me seriously. “Hikaru?” I looked towards the door. “I don’t think he’ll want to see you now.” “Huh?” “
Did I have to actually say it out anymore? It seemed to me as though he had already figured it out. I could not bring myself to admit it. Confronted like that, I could not bring myself to deny it either.I had thought that it would be easier to tell my brother about us. I had not told him till then because he was still mourning Kaori-nee and I was trying to be considerate. I had thought that he would understand.“Kakeru, answer me.”What for? And, then what?“Kakeru!”“We’re dating.” I finally said it.“What?” He lowered his voice, his eyes pinning me to every word that I spoke.“I-I said that we’re dating.” I spoke deliberately and clearly. “Hiro-san is my lover.”He stared at me, then nodded. “Lover.”I swallowed nervously. “Yes.”“Since when?”“Almost two months now.”