He had definitely been surprised to hear of it- my brother. It was two days after the chat with Hiro-san in the kitchen that I finally told Hikaru-nii and Kaori-nee about my decision to move. I had even told them about starting to look for my own place. Initially, the both of them had just heard me out and asked me to think about it more seriously. A day later, Hikaru-nii brought the both of us drinks and came into my room after Aki-chan had gone to sleep in her own room. We had a long brother-to-brother talk about a lot of things, starting from the issues we had had to face when we were still staying with our folks to after we had moved out and all that had happened after Kaori-nee too entered our lives. I figured that the point that he had wanted to make clear to me was that we had been by each other's side through a lot of the important things in our lives. He was sentimental.
"We're family."
It had taken me some time to work my way through the words that could convince him that it wasn't because I was not happy living with them. While Hikaru-nii had understood my reasons for moving out, he, along with Kaori-nee, had still asked me to stay and not worry about being a burden to them at all. In the end though, they had given no further protest to my stepping out to go check the houses that Hiro-san had said that he would show me.
“And? What do you think?” Hiro-san asked me after giving me a tour of the house personally. He had said that the builder was a friend but, in reality, they were a client. In fact, the very apartment building and vacant flat that he had shown me were his design. It was no wonder that he was so gung-ho about showing me around. In fact, this was the third one that he was showing me just that evening.
“I think it’s nice.” I nodded, glancing at the balcony that overlooked the street below. It wasn’t the best view but I could at least see the sky properly.
“Satisfied with this one?” He enquired.
It was a 15-minute walk from Hikaru-nii’s place too. “Compared to the other two, I like this one better.” I admitted. “The rent is reasonable too.”
“Right? I thought you’d say that.” Hiro-san grinned. “Ah, don’t decide yet though. There are two more places that I would like to show you. Probably the day after tomorrow. You can make up your mind after that too.”
Knowing Hiro-san personally did make things a lot easier for me. “Ah. At least, I know that I can trust you, Hiro-san. Thank you very much.” I said, genuinely feeling grateful.
“Don’t mention it. I want you to get the best buy. I’m your Hiro-san here before being a professional. You can take my word for it.”
I knew that. “Then... shall we go back? You’re coming home, right?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “How did your chat with Hikaru go though? He had told me that he would be talking to you."
"Mm. We talked. He is actively making me feel bad about it too." I rolled my eyes, then shook my head and chuckled. "No. He's just that kind of guy. He wants to look out for me, I guess. Everything's so good at home already. It probably feels like it came out of nowhere when I said it. I do get where he is coming from too. I might have done the same thing had I been in his place but, then, he would have done what I am doing had he been in my place too."
"Yes, I can see that happening too." He laughed lightly. "You brothers are rather troublesome this way."
I frowned. "Then don't bother with us."
"I can't do that, no, can I?" He ruffled up my hair.
I grunted at him and looked away. "Geez."
"But, Kakeru, is it really not because of a girl?"
"Wha-" I frowned. "I don't have a girl to start with."
He shrugged. "I just asked. Since you want to suddenly be independent, I just thought that it could be a possibility. I mean, I already knew that you weren't seeing anyone but, who knows? What if you were being sneaky about it?"
"You know better than to think that."
"Right." He chuckled. "After you move out though, what will it be like? Will you visit every day?”
“I will definitely try to.” I spoke. “It will depend on the situation but I won’t make excuses.”
“It will be weird without you home, Kake-chan. If you aren’t going to be there, then I won’t go either.”
“The hell is that?” I chuckled. “As if you’ll choose to stay home and cook for yourself!”
“Well, that’s also true.” He gave in. "The one person who is really going to feel your absence is Aki-chan though."
I sighed. "I think that the one person I might end up missing unbearably is her too."
"She is a very lively little thing, yes." He laughed. "It might get lonely, Kakeru."
"Stop. You aren't helping."
"I'm stating facts."
"You're still not helping, so don't. This is hard enough as it is."
"Alright. I'll stop here for today. It's not fun teasing you when you get serious."
“Lets just go home for now.” I shook my head and led the way out. Once Hiro-san had locked up, we took the bus to Hikaru-nii’s place just because it had conveniently pulled up when we were near the bus stop. Hiro-san did not bring up the topic again and we made pleasant small talk all the way home. When I thought about it, I realised that the whole process of looking for a place of my on not only became easier but less painful because I had someone I knew with me throughout it. Hiro-san was just the kind of person who made someone feel comfortable that way too. Maybe I owed him more than I thought I did.
The night was a little chilly but it wasn’t to a point where it actually bothered me.
There, in that line of thought, I paused. I ended up looking at Hiro-san. I vaguely remembered thinking that he was warm enough to beat the cold but I couldn’t quite place when and why I had come to that conclusion. Not only was it trivial a matter but it was also too embarrassing for me to ponder on and so, I instantly tossed the thought out of the moving bus's window.
“Kake-jii!” A shrill cry went up the moment that I opened the door to the house with my key. Even before I could announce that I was home, I had a pair of arms thrown around my legs and sobbing filled the entryway. While this shocked both Hiro-san and I into freezing up, my brother just stood there and shook his head in exasperation. Even Kaori-nee peeked around the kitchen doorway, greeted us and disappeared back inside. The little one, however, was practically pouring her heart out to me. “What happened? How come you’re crying?” I pat her head as soothingly as I could in my confusion. Hiro-san too crouched beside me and looked at her closely. “Hey, Aki-chan. What happened? Did your father get angry at you?” “Why is this my fault?” Hikaru-nii asked, coming over and trying to pull Aki-chan off my legs but to no avail. “Aki, you’re getting Kake-jii’s pants dirty. Give him some space. He just got home.” “I don’t want to! I don’t want to let Kake-jii go!
“Kakeru.” Hikaru-nii called softly and lightly shook me awake. “Oi. Wake up. It’s morning.” “Mm.” I turned over on my side. “It’s Sunday. Please let me sleep…” “It’s already late. Wake up.” He said, voice still low. That was weird in itself but I couldn’t really be bothered by it in my state of sleep. “Kakeru.” “I heard you.” I groaned and stretched my arm out a bit in trying to shoo him off. That was when I touched skin. I touched someone… small. I raised myself by my elbows, on my stomach and remembered the three-year-old sleeping next to me in her favourite yellow night dress only when I saw her peaceful features. She was still fast asleep. So that’s why Hikaru-nii was speaking so softly. “How many nights has this been now?” Hikaru-nii shook his head in defeat. “I don’t know… Four?” I slowly sat up and rubbed the sand out of my eyes. Aki-chan had woken me up at around 01:30 am saying that she wanted to sleep with me. This nigh
Aki-chan and I were playing with her building blocks when Hiro-san arrived a little over an hour later. Once he came, he was the one playing most of her games with her. I settled for just sitting back and watching, occasionally joining in. It was all so peaceful that I found myself promising to keep my Sundays as free as possible even after moving out. Since breakfast was late, Aki-chan wasn’t exactly hungry at lunch time. I did not want to delay it though because Hiro-san had not had even breakfast. So, eventually, all three of us ended up in the kitchen. Hiro-san was carrying Aki-chan and the both of them were following me around the kitchen, lending a hand whenever they could and keeping up a conversation about the most trivial things. … I owed my brother thanks for letting her stay here with me, although it would have been better had he and Kaori-nee been here as well. “She slept?” Hiro-san asked when I returned to the living room after leaving Aki-chan i
It was from the hospital. My perfect and careless Sunday had shattered with that one phone call. It was horrifying how one moment was all it took to make my previous worries seem insignificant. It was unbelievable. Hiro-san had tried his best to remain calm while relaying the news to us. Well, mostly to me. There had been an accident. A pretty bad one too. A T-junction. Hikaru-nii’s car and a truck. Those were all the points of information that my brain could take in. People on-site had reacted quickly. The two people in the car had been sent to the hospital immediately. The call was from a nurse there. Hikaru-nii had been conscious enough to convey to her that she needed to call me. By the time we had gotten to the hospital, the anxiety and fear had eaten me up alive for we had received no further information about it. Carrying a very confused Aki-chan, when we got there, the attending doctor informed us that Hikaru-nii had been taken in for
Sleep evaded me. The new project was also in full swing and in order to get out of office early enough to pick Aki-chan up from daycare, I was forced to bring some work home. Moreover, I had to cook for us. Not to complain, but I ended up taking over all of those chores that Kaori-nee used to take care of before. It was physically and emotionally taxing on me to try and keep the household together, especially since her earlier indulgent father had suddenly become cold to Aki-chan. Even to me. But there was nothing that I could say or do to ease his pain. Whenever Hiro-san came over, he brought food for us all. Otherwise, he would help me around the house. The visits, however, were nothing like before. He would come, try and fail to talk properly to Hikaru-nii, spend time with Aki-chan, help me out a bit, eat and just leave. From coming here because he was always warmly received, it felt like he was coming over only to check in on us. Save for those random occasions w
I was standing at the window in my room and looking out at the clear night sky that was barely visible through between the surrounding buildings when Hiro-san entered the room. I had been fully aware of the entire hour that had passed us by. Especially after Aki-chan slept off, it had gotten so silent that it as as though I was counting the seconds that mocked how small I had become in the face of loss. I was starting to feel a little too overwhelmed by it all. Hiro-san's voice made me turn to him slowly. “Hikaru is in his room. He didn't really talk to me but... We should probably give him some space. Kakeru, why didn’t you close the front door? Oh. Is she asleep?” He lowered his voice on realising it, looked closer at the girl I was still holding onto closely and sighed. “Looks like she cried a lot.” His grey eyes narrowed in a sort of pained affection when he stepped closer and and ran a thumb tenderly over her tear-stained cheek. Then, he looked at me. “You shoul
Aki-chan and Hikaru-nii both seemed to have been actively avoiding each other after the Ohagi incident. The girl was still upset and her father had retreated into a shell from where he probably felt that he wouldn't be able to hurt her. Aki-chan herself had become a lot quieter. She no longer ran and threw herself at me when I went to pick her up from the daycare. The most she would do is walk over and climb into my arms, hugging me around my neck and staying there for a while, as though collecting herself before she lifted her face and started answering whatever I asked about her day. Whenever I was around though, she ould stick by me. She had even completely stopped using her own room. And yet, she would follow her father with her eyes whenever he was around, probably hoping that he would come and talk to her. The following weekend, I had settled in the living room after lunch with Aki-chan to watch one of her cartoons with her. Hikaru-nii had gone right into his r
Kaori-nee’s mother came over two hours later. Aki-chan was excited to see her grandmother but knowing that the joy was going to be short-lived, I couldn’t watch her. It was almost like we were betraying her. I prepared tea and after about an hour’s chat, which Hikaru-nii also took part in, she was finally informed that she would have to go with her grandmother. And that was all it took. “Are Otou-san and Kake-jii also coming?” “No. For now, only you are going.” Hikaru-nii said, looking at the child properly after a long time. “Your grandmother will take care of you. It’s only for a few days.” I… averted my eyes. “N-No. I don’t want to go…” She stated from where she sat on the couch next to her grandmother. “I want to stay with Otou-san and Kake-jii.” “That cannot happen, Aki.” I did not want to lend my voice to convince either side of anything. “Otou-san has work, Aki-chan.” Kaori-nee’s mother tried to reason wi
“Kuronomiya-kun, you’re leaving already?” Yamato-kun asked when I got up from my desk after packing up. “Yes. I have somewhere to go.” I replied and said goodbye to Shirokawa-san as well who was sitting next to my desk. “Thank you for your good work.” “Likewise.” They called back. I dropped by Hamada-san’s cabin and informed him of my progress on the new project that I had been assigned to. He was rather pleased with my progress too. Conscience clear, I headed out into the 06:00 pm streets of Tokyo. I checked my phone out of habit. There were no calls or texts from my brother. There was, however, a text message from my boyfriend. ‘Come fast.’ ‘Half an hour.’ I replied and po
“Where’s Hiro?” Hikaru-nii’s voice came from behind me as I was attending to the egg that I was frying. I turned to the doorway to find my brother leaning against the doorframe, his hands folded over his chest. He had been sleeping when I had gone to check on him earlier. So, I had started preparations for breakfast while trying to think of the various possible scenarios I would have to make my through once he woke up. “Not here… now.” I responded rather cautiously. “He hadn’t stayed?” He frowned. “I thought I had told him that he could.” “You… remember all that?” I had hoped that we could ease into this conversation but this being brought up right off the bat made me a little anxious. “I was a lot more sober by the time you had gotten home. I don’t remember sending
“You’re still not done?” I asked as I sat on the floor next to Hiro-san at the coffee table after my bath. “Maybe… one hour more?” “That’s okay.” I leaned against his arm. “I’ll wait.” “If you’re sleepy, please go to sleep.” “I can’t sleep properly without you, Hiro-san.” A lie… Maybe. “What is with that?” He laughed and patted my head. “Then, you can wait.” I nodded. I was planning on waiting anyway. I had left my phone on the coffee table next to his laptop. When I began looking around, I saw that the notification light was blinking. I reached out to take it. “Had someone called?” “No. I think you had a message though.” Hiro-san replied. “I did not check.” It definitel was a message and it had surprised me enough to make me sit straight up on reading it. “It’s from Hikaru-nii.” “Hikaru?” Hiro-san stopped what he was doing and looked at my phone as I opened the message. There were just two words on the
I was the first one to wake up the next morning. However, I could not even bring myself to move from the position that I was in. For one, Hiro-san was still holding on to me closely. Secondly, my back hurt a bit. Moreover, I did not exactly want to move. The clock on the bedside table revealed that it was a little past 10:00 am. I had managed to somehow apply for leave on my phone last night before falling asleep. Considering that I had been wide awake before it, it was incredible how much that sex had taken out of me- actually, taken out of Hiro-san and I. Once was far from enough for the both of us and by the time we settled into each other’s arms after that, we barely had enough energy left to move. I looked up at his sleeping face. It was no wonder that he was so popular. Anyone would want to see a face like that as soon as they woke up. Ah… Now I wanted to kiss him. It was past 10:00 am anyway. He had slept enough. I moved his arm
He held my gaze and slowly smiled. “You seem sure enough about this.” Sliding one hand down my right arm, he grasped my hand. “Let’s go back to bed though.” Saying that much and indulging in a soft kiss, he led me back to the bedroom. He came to a stop next to the bed, turned to face me and took both my hands in his. I gave him a questioning look. “You don’t have to treat me like one of your women.” “What? This?” He raised our hands to ask. “It’s not that I am trying to be really gentle or anything. It’s… Despite all my experience and how eager I am now,” he placed my hands on his chest and smiled sheepishly. “I feel like such a boy.” His heart was pounding against my palms. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. “When was the last time that you dated someone for real?” “Towards the beginning of college. Why are you asking me that now?” I shrugged. “Because I wanted to know.” Then I kissed him. “Because this is… amu
I opened my eyes fast because it was still too dark for me to see anything. I was breathing heavily and my eyes felt moist. There was a throbbing heaviness in my chest and my entire body felt numb. I had had a dream and it was painful enough to jolt me awake, almost crying, but I couldn’t even remember what it was about. It was rare for me to dream in the first place and, hence, a dream that was capable of leaving me in a wreck like that was even rarer. It made me close my eyes and try to recollect it again but all I could remember were the emotions and that I was not alone. Maybe… it was a good thing that I couldn’t remember it. I turned on my side and picked my phone up from the bedside table. The time was 01:57 am. I had barely just fallen asleep at 12:30 am too… I turned back and looked at Hiro-san. I was still lying on his arm but he had turned onto his back, his other arm lying over his stomach. He hadn't been awoken by my movement
On unlocking the door, Hiro-san let me in first. He followed me in after locking the door and proceeded straight to the kitchen. "I'll get you something warm to drink. Go change or freshen up if you want to.” I could at least change into something warmer. “Mm. I’ll… be out on the balcony after that.” “Kakeru, it’s cold out on the balcony too.” He said apprehensively. “I’ll take a blanket with me.” I said and went into the bedroom. He had offered no further protest, so I changed into warmer home-wear, wrapped a blanket around me and headed out onto the balcony. It was a little cold but I felt a lot better after changing and wrapping myself up like that. With my back to the wall, I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to my chest, covering myself up with the blanket and looking out at the night. My eyelids felt heavy. It was probably because of all that crying from earlier. “Why are you sitting on the floor?” Hiro-san asked on findin
What seemed like an entire lifetime to me was probably just an hour or so on the clock. That was all the time it took for Hiro-san to get there. I had already seen that shocked look on his face two times before. It was easier for me to offer up a smile the third time. Nevertheless, he was by my side in an instant- his eyebrows scrunched up in a way that told me that I was the only one finding this pattern of meeting strangely amusing. “Kakeru, what are you doing out here?” He crouched before me and took my face in his palms. The worry I saw on his face just then- I wished that I was seeing it on my brother’s. “Meeting out in the hallway like this is really becoming our thing, isn’t it?” I chuckled. “It shouldn’t be though. What happened?” He looked me up and down. “Where are your shoes?” He found them soon after asking, then looked at me seriously. “Hikaru?” I looked towards the door. “I don’t think he’ll want to see you now.” “Huh?” “
Did I have to actually say it out anymore? It seemed to me as though he had already figured it out. I could not bring myself to admit it. Confronted like that, I could not bring myself to deny it either.I had thought that it would be easier to tell my brother about us. I had not told him till then because he was still mourning Kaori-nee and I was trying to be considerate. I had thought that he would understand.“Kakeru, answer me.”What for? And, then what?“Kakeru!”“We’re dating.” I finally said it.“What?” He lowered his voice, his eyes pinning me to every word that I spoke.“I-I said that we’re dating.” I spoke deliberately and clearly. “Hiro-san is my lover.”He stared at me, then nodded. “Lover.”I swallowed nervously. “Yes.”“Since when?”“Almost two months now.”