I was getting ready for a shopping day with Lily when I received the call from Barnett.“Hello?” I answered as I juggled outfit options.“Good morning, Anna,” Barnett said in his smooth, confident voice. “I have good news for you.”“Oh?”“You won’t have to worry about Julia or Bob anymore.”I froze.“Really? You took care of both of them? How?”“You let me worry about the how. Just rest assured that they won’t be bothering you anymore.”I hesitated.“You didn’t do anything to hurt them, did you?”Barnett sighed.“Anna, do I really seem like someone who would do something like that?”“No.”“Then I think you have your answer.”“Well…thank you.”“You’re welcome.”I hung up, still unsure about what Barnett could have done to get both Julia and Bob off my back. •* * Since I had the entire day off—no clients scheduled—Lily and I took our time perusing the highest-end shops we could at the richest mall we c
Arthur did not let up over the next couple days. In fact, any time we weren’t talking about his own styling, Arthur steered our conversation towards why I should take up Freyja on their offer. Finally, he wore me down. I called the people at Freyja, they faxed me a contract, and we arranged to film the first commercial over the next week. Arthur was so excited that he offered to come with me to ensure that everything went down without a hitch.I couldn’t really think of a reason to say no. It was his world; he would know how best to navigate. Besides, it would be nice to have a friend there with me, at least on the first day. So, I let him come with me. On the first day of the shoot, we took the gold Aston Martin from Arthur’s office to the studio. Gremlins started to tear at my stomach as we parked. I had been to studios before when a client ne
Arthur hooked his hands under my arms and lifted me to my feet—or at least did the best he could with all the resistance I was putting up. “Come on, my little fan. Up you go. It’s not the end of the world.” “Are you kidding me? Look at this disaster!” “You saw how horribly that was all set up. It was an accident waiting to happen. Just offer to pay for whatever’s broken and get back to work.” I nodded, oddly calmed down by how certain Arthur felt about this. “You’re right.” “Of course I am. Now, go.” With a gentle shove, he pushed me in Chrissy’s direction. The closer I got to Chrissy, the less certain I felt and the more my stomach ached. Her beautiful face was contorted in anger as she barked orders
I sniffled. I couldn’t tell Barnett the truth. He would think I was weak for not being able to handle everything myself. “Anna, I can hear you crying.” The softness in his tone broke something inside me. Tears started to flow down my cheeks again. “I-I don’t know what to do,” I sobbed. “It’s all too much.” “What’s too much?” “The commercial, the styling, the vlogs. I’ve only spent a little over a week doing this, and I can’t keep up. I screwed up so badly today.” “Hey, it’s okay. Just take a deep breath and explain everything that happened.” I followed Barnett’s instructions. I took a deep breath and then told him everything, from being worn down by the commercial to having to improvise StarRise’s look and her reaction to it.&nb
“Who-who are you?” I asked. “What are you doing here?” “I’m Tom,” the man said. “I’m here to see you.” The man stepped out of the darkness. He was surprisingly well-kept with short dark hair and a well-trimmed beard. His eyes, though—his eyes bore into me with a fire straight from the depths of Hell. I knew I should run, but I was frozen to the spot. I tried to scream, but no sound would come out of my throat. All I could do was stand with tears streaming down my cheeks. “No, no, I won’t hurt you,” Tom said. He held his hands up, as if to placate me, and I flinched. “I would never hurt you.” Tom stepped towards me. Whatever had frozen me in place finally broke, and I stepped backwards. “Stay away from me,” I said as loudly as I could manage. &nbs
I transferred the rent to Barnett and moved out the next day. Since he had helped me before when my old apartment didn’t work out, I asked Barnett if he could help me move my stuff into the new house. He just said he was busy and hastily closed his apartment door on me. I got Lily to help me instead, but I couldn’t keep my mind off Barnett the entire day. As we moved boxes and bags, my mind drifted to Barnett helping me with the back support belt, his strong arms wrapped around me as he strapped on the Velcro. I couldn’t help but think about his perfect form as he lifted the boxes, and I wondered why he didn’t want to help this time. After all, we did seem to have such fun moving me in to the other apartment… “Hello? Earth to Anna!” Lily said as she waved her hand in front of my face. I shook my head. I hadn’t realized that I had spaced out thinking about Barnett. I blushed. “What were you saying?” I asked. “I was asking where yo
I tried to get that dream out of my mind. I tried to get Barnett out of my mind. Neither worked. I relived the sex, the pleasure it had brought me, over and over. I contemplated Barnett’s disappearance after the labor and what it meant. But mostly, I thought about that baby boy. I knew he wasn’t real, and yet the fact that I could not hold him again brought me great sadness. He represented everything I didn’t get to have before and everything I still would not be able to have. Even if there were some way to get past the infertility Bob always said I had, I had months—weeks—left to live and could never carry a healthy baby to full term. The only way I could force these thoughts from my mind was through exercise. Unfortunately, I was finding it harder and harder to get to Stand Up. The distance from my new home was a struggle, and the fans—oh, the fans!
I froze and listened to the night. For a minute, there was nothing. Then the screaming started again. “No! No!” My heart pounding, I cautiously reached under my bed. I grasped for the bat that I started keeping near me since the incident with Tom. Its hard, grainy surface gave me a sense of security and confidence as I gripped it tightly. Bat in hand, I slipped out of bed and snuck out of my room. As I approached the end of the hall, I peeked around the corner. Nothing appeared out of order. The door was still locked and closed, the TV was off and stayed mounted on the wall, and all the furniture still stood in place. Even Arthur remained on the couch, fast asleep. I was about to search the kitchen when the screaming started again from the living room. “No! Pleas
I turned to face the young woman I had accidentally hit. She was holding her cheek and eye, part of which I could see had started to turn pink. “Oh my God!” I exclaimed. “I’m so sorry!” I reached out to touch the woman’s arm, but she shrunk away from me. “Please, let me help you,” I continued. “Let me get you inside. We can get you some ice—” “No!” the woman said, shaking her head. Her hand never left the side of her face. “No.” “Please, I insist…” I reached out for her again, but she stepped away from me. The woman kept shaking her head and muttering “no” as she back away through the crowd. I thought I saw tears on the uncovered side of her face. My heart broke. All eyes were suddenly on me. I had no