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Definitely better than the voices in your head.
Last Updated:
2024-11-25 08:05:33
NenuThis is a short note to anyone who might have been considering ending it all. You are better than the voices in your head. If you could survive life's trials, you can survive anything. I am proud of you, and I am most definitely rooting for you. Hugs and kisses.
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EMMA.Kristina's words might have not completely changed my mind from the aspect of death, but it did give me a new perspective. “Emma, I am always here for you. I have always been and I forever will be. Nothing will ever change that,”“I know,” I admitted.Deep down, I knew that Kristina would always be there, come rain or sunshine, she would never leave me, but that was the problem.I was a burden.“If you know that, why would you consider making such a horrible decision? Why would you knowingly hurt yourself? You're better than this.”“No, I'm not. I am most definitely not. I am a burden. I am a problem everyone keeps trying to solve. All I do is bring worry, and pain. Look at it now, I've brought on a new worry for you. You were not supposed to spend more than two days here, but I already know you're considering taking a week off just so you can take care of me because I’m a burden. All I do is bring issues, and problems. I don't do anything good. I can't make any good decisions.
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Emma's POV.It was a night out with the girls. Specifically,we were four in number,and gladly,we were here to celebrate Kristy's engagement. “I cannot believe he actually proposed!” Kristy gushed as she pulled out her fingers,flaunting her diamond ring. I smiled,glad at the atmosphere. Kristy pushed back her blonde hair as she grinned even harder. “Girl,I am proud of you!” Faith supported with a hug. I watched as she wrapped her arms around Kristy who cringed. Everyone knew she was not the touchy type. Faith had gotten engaged two months ago,and we were only a week from her wedding-I was still yet to get a plus one for the wedding. “We have two single ladies left!” Faith giggled as she stood between Katy and I. She wrapped her arms around us,I shrugged her off. Katy was already in a serious relationship,two baecations and all,but here I was,with a terrible dating reputation,and a haunting past. “Mark will propose anytime soon. I'm sure of th
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EMMA'S POVAs soon as I confirmed that the door was open,I quietly dropped my bag on the floor.I took a glance at my wristwatch and realized it was already eleven minutes past one am. Everyone would most likely be asleep,seeing that I lived with married couples. I couldn't wake them crying because I thought a burger had broken in. What if I had by some chance forgotten to lock the door? Although it was hard to believe,there was a possibility… I picked up both my heels,and I held them,hoping to use them as a weapon. I tiptoed in quietly,as I pushed the door further. The light was turned off,and the entire room was pitch black. I walked towards the switch,with my heart in my hands. Surely,It would be harder for an intruder to attack in a bright spot.I touched the walls,until I came up to the switch. Quietly,I turned it on. I was facing the wall,still afraid to turn around. Honestly,I was too scared to find out who was in my sitting room. “Your home i
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EMMA'S POV Was I still drunk? Was this a new version of a hangover? I really hoped I wasn't hallucinating? I reached out to feel the supposed girl's skin,and true to her word,she was human. If she was human,then that meant Alex had actually replaced me. He spent the night at my place,cuddling me,and the next day he fired me? There was no sense in that.I diverted my attention back to the young girl. She had a bright smile on her round face. “I am so grateful you let me take your spot.” She said in a way that was doting yet mature. I had to give it to her,she was definitely hot. An upgrade from me.Alex had made his statement. “I gave you my spot…” I said,repeating her words. “Didn't you?” She asked,corking her neck. I walked out,unsure of what to say. Why would Alex fire me? He knew everything about me. He knew how I depended on this work to survive. He knew that I had my sister's bills to pay. I had to get to the bottom of the issue.I walked
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EMMA'S POV Weddings had to be one of the most stressful events,especially if they weren't yours. I dropped my heels at the side of the door,as I slipped into something comfortable. “Emma!” I heard Kristy call my name. I turned around to find her holding her dress in one hand while walking barefooted. “What's up?” I asked as I wiped the sweat off my face. “Has the cake arrived?” “There is no cake?!” I screamed,surprised. Why would there be no cake at a wedding? “You had no idea?” I shook my head. I had been so busy with getting the little bride to put on her costume that I had totally forgotten. “The caterer is not taking anyone's calls.”I groaned as I pressed my back on the wall. “Has she been paid?” “In full.” My eyes widened. Who the hell pays a baker in full? They were supposed to be paid the other half on delivery. “This is bad..” I acknowledged,and Kristy nodded. “What should we do?” “We need a back up cak
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EMMA'S POV “Lucas Marcus,do you take Faith Dennis to be your lawful wedded wife?” The priest asked the groom. “I do.” “Faith Dennis,do you take Lucas Marcus to be your lawfully wedded husband?” He asked her. “I do.” “I pronounce thee husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”I smiled as I watched Lucas pull his newly wedded bride in for a kiss. “They look amazing.” Alex whispered in my ear,and I bit my lower lip deeply. I tried suppressing the urge to actually smack him with the fan in my hand.For some weird reason,the organizers had thought it a wonderful idea for Alex and I to be seated together. He had been grinning all day,whispering words to me,and I hated it.I hated Alex,and everything that related to him. “They make a beautiful couple..” an elderly woman gushed at them. I stared at the cakes,ignoring her statement. “You're right.” Alex conceded with the elderly woman.I groaned even harder as the woman smiled at him. Everyone was obsessed wi
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EMMAThe introductory meeting went horribly. I had to sit next to Isabella for two hours,and never had I considered the possibility of Isabella ending up in the same office as me. Alex didn't even offer a warning. I took a deep breath,watching as she picked out a lip gloss from her handbag. As soon as Isabella stepped into this hall,my confidence dropped by a hundred percent. How was I supposed to work for a woman that caught me in bed with her husband? “Any questions?” Alex asked,pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned to my manual. I couldn't even recall what we were talking about. “I have a question,” Isabella spoke up as she rose to her feet. Her perfume filled the room. “How soon are we meant to start working?” “Right after this meeting,” Alex replied. There was something in his eyes that unnerved me. He was looking at her in a certain way,a way he never looked at me. Alex dismissed us,and we immediately headed out to our offices.As I stepped into my office,my
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EMMA.Three days had gone by since I got the promotion,and all of those days had been hell. I wiped my nose as I picked up the fourth file on my desk. The chief before me had left a lot of pending work, leaving the company many steps behind on our marketing affairs. I took another look at our sales margin, it was unstable. I sighed. “Ms Martinez?” Anna called out my name. I looked up to find her walking into the office. She still had her hair in a slick back ponytail. I watched as she took the seat directly opposite mine. She gently dropped the files on the desk. It was Friday, officially the last working day of the week, and I could tell -by the dark shadows under her eyes- that this week hadn't been gentle on her. “I have rechecked every file in the office, and so far not a single error has been found.” She emphasized as she rubbed her eyes with her hands. I noticed she had a stain on her top. Had she spent the night at the office? I didn't want to know. Whatever go
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EMMA.Kristina's words might have not completely changed my mind from the aspect of death, but it did give me a new perspective. “Emma, I am always here for you. I have always been and I forever will be. Nothing will ever change that,”“I know,” I admitted.Deep down, I knew that Kristina would always be there, come rain or sunshine, she would never leave me, but that was the problem.I was a burden.“If you know that, why would you consider making such a horrible decision? Why would you knowingly hurt yourself? You're better than this.”“No, I'm not. I am most definitely not. I am a burden. I am a problem everyone keeps trying to solve. All I do is bring worry, and pain. Look at it now, I've brought on a new worry for you. You were not supposed to spend more than two days here, but I already know you're considering taking a week off just so you can take care of me because I’m a burden. All I do is bring issues, and problems. I don't do anything good. I can't make any good decisions.
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EMMAI couldn't believe I ended up on the floor. I laid still, unable to move. All my joints were hurting, and my muscles felt like jelly.I groaned as I felt an inner pain on my waist.I closed my eyes, trying to push back tears.These days, it felt like all I did was cry. Every little thing caused my eyes to be teary, and I hated it. I hated being weak. I hate being vulnerable. I hated being unable to help myself.“Fuck this shit!” I cursed out in frustration, wiping my eyes.I was still thinking of a way to get myself either the water or a way to my bed when I heard the door open. I craned my neck to find Kristina at the door.As soon as she saw me, her eyes widened and she gasped. Literally everything in her hands fell to the floor, and she rushed towards me.“Emma! Are you okay?” She asked, touching my body.I groaned as she touched this idea that hurt. “My eyes are open, so I'm definitely fine.”“You're on the floor!” She exclaimed.As she saw the wounds on my hands, she gasped
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EMMA.The warmth of the sun gently pulled me up from my deep sleep. I opened my eyes gently, still in doubt that I could move.I tried moving a finger, and to my surprise, it actually moved!It moved!I wasn't hallucinating.I smiled gently. Just as I was about to turn to check who was beside me, I heard a little mumble.I needed no one to tell me it was a man. What man was beside my bed?In curiosity, I turned around and to my surprise, the sheriff was there.He was in a black t-shirt, and jeans. He laid lazily on the couch, and if my presumptions were right, he had slept here overnight.How did he know I was here?I was still trying to compile everything when he stirred awake.As soon as he noticed I was awake too, he sprung up.His shirt was ruffled on his chest, and the arms hugged his huge muscles.He rubbed at his darkened eyes gently before speaking to me.“How are you?” He asked, gently.I wanted to reply, but I was still too awestruck to speak.How did he end up here? How di
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EMMA.The soft, slow, yet strong push of the wind, moved me gently towards the water.My eyes were still closed as I heard, and felt the splash.I closed my eyes refusing to give into the kick of opening my eyes.Soon enough, I felt the water flow into my nose, and that was when I got back to my senses.I flapped my hands in the water, trying to find a way to stay atop but the pull of the water kept trying to pull me in. The water which had seemed calm was suddenly ready to swallow me. I grew on alert immediately.I opened my mouth, trying to get some air, but salty water flowed right in.Right there, fear set in. I flapped repeatedly, trying to stay above.I didn't want to die. What was I thinking?Why did I jump?Why did I take that step?Tears built up in my eyes as I tried my best to stay above the water.“I don't want to die,” I kept repeating to myself. I really didn't want to die.I looked around, trying to find a way out, but I was lost. I was in a large lake, and no one would
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EMMA.Soon enough, our food arrived and Kristina was brave enough to ask the waiter for his number.First, he had smiled politely as he rejected the offer.I wasn't the least bit surprised. I knew it had to be against some sort of rule for them to give out their numbers or identities. There would be compromise.“He'll be back,” Kristy said as he walked out.I chuckled silently as I dug into my meal. It was truly amazing how much she believed in her beauty and energy.Of course, a lot of good looking people knew what they were but hers was divine. It was lovely.Hours later, we had somehow finished all our meals and were ready to leave. Luckily, Kevin returned to pick up the bill.She paid, and he handed us a receipt.As he walked away, I watched Kristina smile into the receipt.“Why are you smiling?”“Nothing,” she replied, tucking the paper into her jeans.“Kristina!” I exclaimed in a low tone,“I told you he'll be back.”“Girl…”She pursed her lips, smiling broadly.“Girl, you're go
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EMMA.“So, you're worried there's a chance someone will recognize you?” Kristy asked,“Of course. It'll be a shame.”“No it won't.”“Do you know what you're saying? If someone recognizes me as the girl from Alexander's scandal, they will label me a slut and home wrecker. I would be doomed.”“No one will recognize you. The media focuses on too many people at once. By now, they're already looking at other celebrity scandals.”“You have a point though,” I agreed, taking a seat.We looked around, watching other booths. They were filled with different people, each having casual conversations.“Everyone looks so normal,” Kristy stated out.I turned to face her with a smile, “I was thinking the exact same thing!” She grinned. “No extra dinner dresses, not really any heavy makeup. Everyone just looks casual, and normal. It's beautiful.”“Indeed, it is.” I agreed.A waiter approached us with a menu in hand. “Welcome ladies,” he greeted us with a broad smile,Kristy sheepishly smiled back, a
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EMMA.We both walked out of the house. I left my head hanging low, I didn't want Kristy seeing me so teary.“I'll drive,” she offered, taking the keys from my hand. I didn't resist it.I didn't think I would be fit to be behind the wheel.I sat into the shotgun seat of the car, still keeping my head low. There were so many reasons tears kept pouring from my eyes, but I couldn't focus on one.I sniffed hard, as Kirsty got in.I wiped my eyes, looking up to meet the pitiful look on her face.“Are you good?” She asked,I nodded.“We need to find where we can lay our heads tonight,” I said to her, looking at the road.“Where do you suggest?”“I don't know anywhere here. It's so foreign, and different.” I replied,“I'll just look up some places,”I remained seated as she scrolled through her phone.“Okay, there's one a few streets from here. We'll check it out,”That was fine by me.“Or would you prefer somewhere far from your home?”“No, it's cool.” I replied,She turned on the car, and
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EMMAI watched as my-our mother rather- walked them towards the stairs, and watched as they climbed up.“Walk careful, darlings.” She said to them,She had never cared for me or Zara like that. We were always pains in her spine.She turned to face me, and for the first time, I noticed how much she had aged.Her eyes had wrinkles all over them, and her lips were thinned. She was older, but seemed lighter.The dark aura I had grown to know had dissipated.She sat on the chair opposite ours.We watched each other in silence. Me, in anger, and her in…I couldn't tell what emotion it was.How dare she treat them like actual children after what she had done to us?I knew there was no way those children were biologically hers, but she treated them better than she treated us. Weren't we deserving of her love, and attention?“It's been years,” she finally spoke up, breaking up my spiral.“It has,” I replied matter of fact.“How have you been?”“been good.” I replied.I didn't want to start up
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EMMA.I stared into the empty space, watching the grass filled lawn. Kristy looked around, carefully taking in the arena.All the vibe , soft joy, and excitement had faded, and now it was time for business.I took a deep breath. The entire street was silent. I repeated that again. If anything were to happen, everyone in the neighborhood would know.Our voices would be loud.I shut my eyes, recalling how my mother used to slam pans as she shouted at us.The neighbors would come out, listening as she threatened to cut us off, and send us into the streets if we didn't behave.Why didn't Zara remember that?I clearly did. I recalled how a neighbor approached us, asking why we always defended our mother whenever the cops came to save us, and we would recite what she taught us, “she is our mother. We cannot survive without our mother.”Bullshit. Our mother had been ready to choose a man over us. Our mother threw tantrums because the man she wanted didn't want her in return.Our mother wa
