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87. Robyn
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56
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His Unlovable Mate 88. Ayr
“So which one of you is keeping me on a rope to stop me wandering into the river?” Marcus grumbles. Again. Alongside at least two dozen other whinging remarks he’s making me itch to dive out of the carriage and sprint back to the cliffs. The constant, desperate hope I am keeping in my chest is that Cass might be pregnant already. This separation of ours might only be weeks away. The idea she would walk away from Kallio for me is jaw-dropping. It inspires me, with the same drive as my spitfire frenzy, to put my pack into the very best shape it can be. For in a few months, everything could change. “Raphael left me a list of Beta’s he thinks can move up to day-to-day,” Lucas offers, clearing his throat awkwardly. Marcus says nothing, tilts his head towards the window, not that he can see anything. Just shutting himself out of the conversation whilst we jolt and bounce our way towards Pemberton and the river bridge. “They need to be like Raphael. I don’t need another joker. Has to be
His Unlovable Mate 89. Raphael
I can't quite believe little Artem is almost four. Alongside his smaller sister Lucy they mean perfection and light. No children have been more blessed with love. Or more unexpected in the case of Artem who arrived almost exactly nine months after the takeover. His growth has mapped Kallio’s resurgence. His colic and sleepless nights matched with insurgence and open rebellion from some areas missing out on their bribes from Elle. His fussy food periods and hurling of dishes to the floor paired with engineering delays to the two new bridges. But his first steps saw the bridges open. His first words celebrated a return of crops, prosperity. The Silver Guard reported no scurrilous gossip, no more lingering rebels. By the time Artem took his first horse-riding lessons earlier this month, led about by me on a small pony, there was a grain surplus, Corbin and his accountants able to report nothing but good news. Cass has done it. Turned Kallio around completely. Silver and orange banners
His Unlovable Mate 90. Ayr
Almost five years of waiting. I swore I’d do anything. Wait for the sign. What an idiot that makes me. Of course, I support my spitfire in her dream of rebuilding her pack. I just thought the Goddess would bless us immediately. We won for fucks sake! Elle is defeated. Like I've asked myself several times an hour since we agreed our foolish bargain all those years ago: why hasn't it happened for us? Healthy, born of Alphas! Cass began to worry the Elders or maybe Elle did something permanent to her without her knowledge, her paranoia outweighing my misery at missing her. I know, despite her intentions not to go there Cass has scrawled through the Elders library. Interviewed every doctor,, hunting for any kind of answer as to why she remains childless. To my annoyance, she confessed that most of the medical men assume she is talking about Corbin as a father. I try not to show my wounds. For what good would it do? Over time, my wolf, I have seen the small silver being, still waitin
His Unlovable Mate 91. Cassie
I knew something was off. Normally, when I get to our spot I’m buzzing with excitement. Desperate to be held and reminded of how it feels to be desired. Back at the depressingly stale cliffs of Kallio, I am just a living statue. Nobody looks at me like I'm real. Except I’m lying to myself. For the last few months, our meetings haven’t been joyous, frenzied encounters. If I look back, I believe I’ve cried in his arms about how useless things are almost every time. Each time we find each other, it’s takes a single glance for Ayr to confirm we have failed to make a life together. Yet again. It’s a strangely empty feeling. My heart beats with so much adoration yet leaves me colder, harder on the outside with every passing month.It’s my fault. It must be. The same three words on repeat. Every month, every day. Corbin blandly reports everything sees everything, and asks nothing. As far as I can tell, Robyn believes he has had no meaningful relationship, man or woman since he became my
His Unlovable Mate 92. Ayr
I waited on the high ground near the Kallio bridge the whole night once Mrs Berrybrow raised the alarm that Marcus and Matthew had gone missing. When Matthew came back into connection, hesitantly confirming that they were almost back, my pent-up, desperate temper finally unloaded. I stormed to the bridge on Ares, galloping hard to intercept my traitorous so-called friend. I didn't confess my feelings for him to make it a one-man mission to blow up my life.The carriage, driven by the stony-faced Matthew, was a simple cart. Designed to blend in. He wore his dark, standatd armoured clothing. Marcus, the fucking clown was of course dressed in dramatic baby blue. Head high, like he hadn’t just betrayed his Alpha and best friend. So much for not standing out. The devious bastard. He must have had Matthew or some other helper of his follow me. Probably Berrybrow she’s that insanely loyal to him. The tenuous hold I’ve held over my wolf for the past few years. The aching, constant emptiness
His Unlovable Mate 93. Cassie
I’m sprinting back to the packhouse with everything I have. There is nothing I want more than to hide away in the scalding bathtub and let my tears merge in with the water. Drown in pity. But Marcus, goddess, he struck every nerve I have. Without realising, my wolf slowed her sprint down a touch as his words rioted in my head. I’ve been kidding myself this whole time. Thinking I’m being selfless, putting the pack ahead of myself. Like some kind of cursed saint. That’s not the way it is at all. I’ve been selfish to Ayr. This whole time he’s waited, listened to me, held me, wiped tears away, and I’ve assumed he was okay. Frustrated, of course, disappointed every time. But I never thought he had sunk as miserably as me. My wolf stops entirely. Something deep inside me stirs. This whole charade has to stop. That silver wolf is undeniably waiting. But that is for the Moon Goddess to bless. If the highest deity in the heavens will not grant that spirit a life on earth with us, how are w
His Unlovable Mate 94. Ayr
Some people pray for a guardian angel to save them in a time of crisis. I did not realise I should have been praying for a leather-bound, sinful looking spitfire.I didn’t catch half the words she said. I was just too shocked to see her, insane outfit, wild hair, and blazing silver eyes aside. For half a second, I assumed it was a cruel hallucination. My wolf or dreams must be taking a final sick twist into taunting me in real life. A version of Cass I might have known if I hadn’t been a fool. Too proud to admit I missed her too much to endure the agreement.But then somehow the torch went over the side of the river. Out of everything she babbled, the only bit that made any sense was “please say I’m not too late! I’ll do anything to put this right.” Maybe I am selfish. Greedy for her love when I don’t deserve it, but my wolf and I spoke in desperate union. I only want her mark. Nothing else will do. I've been one for speeches and grand promises over our strange relationship, but now
His Unlovable Mate 95. Cassie
For the first time in months, I don’t dream at all. I fell asleep in his arms, his body following the outline of mine. Not an inch of distance allowed. Fully dressed, filthy boots on, but it didn’t matter. We’re together. The curtains are shut, I don’t have a clue what time it is. What I do care about is the way my mate's face brightened with every minute I spent on top of him, ranting, raving, kissing, and caressing him. We were so close. So terrifyingly close to ruining everything. “I have your mark spitfire. Why, when you are in our bed, are you finding things to worry about?” arrives a gruff, yawning, bare-chested Ayr, gripping me even closer to him. Adjusting so I can face him, his blonde, rumpled hair falls about his cheekbones like a mane, eyes still shut. Unfortunately, I am still wearing that lethal corset, which has left my ribs in genuine pain. Everything smells of his warm whisky burr. Sipping glasses of it at Kallio never quite had the same aroma. The heat, the burn,
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His Unlovable Mate Epilogue 2: Cassie
Corbin is the first to arrive, urgency in his steely eyes. He and Ayr now share the dubious honour of matching neck scars. I imagine his lower chest is even more grisly after the attack on him “Is everything okay? It’s so fantastic to see you,” enjoying the sweep of his huge, iron-like hug. The sweet scent of warm baking is the only soft feature about this hardened leader. “When they set up a room for me to recover in, they found this. I thought you should have it,” withdrawing a thick envelope from his jacket. “It’s written by your mother.” I stare at the aged paper and wonder just what I will gain from reading her drunken rantings. “What made you bring this? She must have hundreds of letters, I know she kept a diary too.”“She addressed it to you. It’s the only one with your name on it. No diaries found.” "Go on, I’ll greet everyone else. It will only irritate you if you don’t read it now, " Ayr suggested "Corbin and I need to talk bridges," as the pair grinned. I took the letter
His Unlovable Mate Epilogue: Cassie
Life is very different in Volare these days. Leo is almost two. Wonderful in every way, his pouty lips and blue eyes making it almost impossible to tell him no. I flit between wondering what my mother would think of my own material efforts. Praying I make better choices than her. I still don’t know what the hell was on her mind when she died. Was it out of love for me or hatred of Elle? Staring at Leo, I will never understand how she stood by all those years in silence. It has taken some serious organising but tonight, finally everyone is going to be reunited. A celebration of friendship. Raphael and Robyn have been sorely missed. Almost eighteen months without any visits between us. Corbin had requested all bridges go up for our own safety for a period. He was attacked in an uprising in the centre of Pemberton. Touring a pack and hit in the chest with a cannonball. Quite how the fuck a group of rebels got hold of a cannon is something Raphael is furiously investigating. The nigh
His Unlovable Mate 104. Marcus
She’s dreamed of me? Even as my head spins in a frenzy of pure desire, I need to delve into that conversation more. Women are clearly my blind spot. No pun intended. She’s guiding me along the wooden wall, “I‘m staying in the packhouse, come on,” she breathes, and I’m so close to just being swept along. But this is serious. Flashes of Imelda cross my mind. “Jessica, Jessica, come on, what do you mean dreaming? What colour are your eyes?” as she drags me into the packhouse. Where I once snuck in order to shave in Ayr’s fancy bathroom. Her hand feels so tiny in mine. In fact, everything about her is petite. I’m almost stumbling, and I secretly love the way she doesn’t give a shit I can’t see. She’s taking me to her room regardless. “How about you just trust me?” she whispers before placing a kiss on my open chest. Shit that must be how tall she is. When she first kissed me, she must have been on her tiptoes. What the hell is this? “If you know who I am, I don’t…I’m not going to b
His Unlovable Mate 103. Cassie
Jessica never appeared at dinner. It was a shame, I totally thought her and Marcus might hit it off, but there will be more opportunity. She’s got that daring confidence that I thought might spark his interest. When the lightning flashed and rain descended, everyone jumped in the packhouse. Ayr ran out to find Marcus. Check he hadn’t got caught in the storm and lost his bearings, but he was nowhere to be seen. His blue gauze was trodden into the mud by the packhouse door, though. “He’s not answering his link?” Ayr said, rubbing his chin. “If he wants us, he will,” Matthew answered steadily. “There’s a line of how much he’ll ask for.” Ayr reluctantly agreed, and the evening continued as planned. Drinks consumed, food eaten, I sat in our bed and watched Ayr as he stripped down. I know how long he stays awake at night reading to me. I also know how the instant he thinks I’m asleep he switches from pirate adventures to love sonnets. My dreams are warm, full of summer sun and happiness
His Unlovable Mate 102. Marcus
The day I stop opening my eyes and searching for a flicker of dawn will be when my wolf stops trying too. Not once did I stop believing. Now, finally, after almost five years, something has happened. Since Ayr told me their silver wolf has vanished from the heavens, the constant blackness has started to part. There are shadows and hints of grey and white in my peripheral vision. I can’t see shapes, but there is lightness where once only pitch black existed. My first instinct was to call out to Berrybrow. But then I shut my lips and breathe sharply. This is for me to know. My secret. For if it turns out, all I can see are the shadows at the edges. What has been gained? But maybe, just maybe my purgatory is finally ending? I already know my irises have turned to jade. Mrs Berrybrow was sweet to sell it kindly, maybe as proof that my wolf is still trying to heal me. Ayr has since said he doesn’t give a fuck, that I was exactly the same man to him. Except hearing how the others hav
His Unlovable Mate 101. Ayr
I secretly bought a set of jangling bells, but thankfully, they weren’t necessary. I did once tie them to her and woke up to a barrage of jangling cushions to the face. Then she pinned my wrists to the mattress as best as she could before wrapping her mouth around my semi-hard early morning dick. Confusing, briefly terrifying me and making me want to explode all in the space of five seconds. Perfection. Now, such spontaneity has been briefly retired. Instead, she has to choose from a pile of leatherbound books instead of leaping onto my groin. Holding out a selection of hardbacks, I mock-grumpily bark. “Pick one then,” before helping to place the covers over my hugely pregnant, half-glowing, half-irritated mate. We’re in the final stages of this miracle of a pregnancy, and somehow, my plan worked. “You always know which one I’ll choose,” she smiles back softly, her stunningly soft figure draped in an emerald green silk nightgown before choosing the same one she’s had for the pas
His Unlovable Mate 100. Cassie
It’s not possible. “It can’t be…I mean…” only to turn and see the look on Ayr’s face. The one I’ve always wanted to see. It’s joyous. The sweetest, kindest expression. A god melted into a beaming man. But it is a look he shouldn’t be giving me. Anyway, it’s just one old lady’s opinion. I said I felt sick, but that surely happens to everyone who’s having the minor trauma of almost killing their mate in their sleep. Accepting the golden-eyed wolf could be hunting Ayr and I down for the rest of our lives out of spite is enough to turn anyone’s stomach. Or, as Mrs Berrybrow suggested, the golden-wolf attaches itself to a newborn. Then what? The instant some child turns eighteen and can connect with their spirit, will their soul be corrupted. Try to harm us? “Cass?” Ayr whispers, before reaching out for my hand. I have no idea how long I’ve been silent for whilst I felt the idyllic protection of my Volare life crumble around me. It's not safe. It will never be safe. I still can’t move
His Unlovable Mate 99. Ayr
It’s been almost three months, and with Cass at my side, anything feels possible. Apart from conception, obviously, but we’ve both agreed that doesn’t matter in the slightest right now. I don’t know how it works, but even the Volare population seemed brighter. The packhouse has never seen so many bawdy nights, bands playing, people talking late into the night. Annoyingly, now I’m officially not a kidnapping, raping, deviant scumbag, the other packs are scrambling to purchase even more of our goods. Something to be remembered every time I am forced to attend a Council with the two-faced pricks. Apart from Locksley. He had absolutely zero scruples in buying fancy items from a despised Alpha. Or trying to seduce Cass via pastel suits and bouquets of flowers but thank fuck that game is over. At Cass’s request I have even led a couple of Volare full moon runs. Pretty sure she just wanted to get me naked in the Kallio side of the woods though. Unfamiliar territory to her meant I had th
His Unlovable Mate 98. Cassie
Robyn had arrived in Volare with a few of my favourite gowns and essentials. Like she already knew I would never be coming back if they found me in Volare. “Cass what the hell happened here!” she gasped, taking in the dishevelled room. “Take a guess, Robyn!” I reply, towel wrapped around my body. “AH you're marked. I knew it!” she squealed.Hugging tightly, I quickly dressed, and we headed down to the main packhouse. I couldn’t resist my hunger any longer. Taking a long, empty bench in the far corner, my hair still damp from the shower with Ayr, I told her everything. Yet just last week, when we played with Lucy’s dolls house, I assured her I was fine. Snapped it at her if I recall properly. Now she knows the full extent of the agreement, the silver wolf waiting to be born. How we had decided, after making amends with everyone, that we had a clean slate. No guilt, no blame. Just forwards. “That’s exactly how it should be,” Robyn smiled. “I can not believe how much you’ve changed
