I hope you're enjoying the story so far (trust me I know I'm putting you through it!) - thank you for all your comments, reviews and gems!!!
Ayr ordered me to do exactly as he instructed, regardless of what happened. I don’t know if that meant eavesdropping his rejection. I almost came out of my little mossy nook down by the bridge, but that would mean I’d failed my challenge in less than two hours. I want to prove myself, despite my pride being blowtorched twice in one day. Even though the river looked like an early grave, I took the plunge and jumped in. In order to have some fucking dignity on the other side I didn't shift. Soppjng wet, I marched towards Pemberton with only the goal of a beer in mind. I want to be seen. I didn’t even get to my first bar before a looming, spindly Kallio guard approached me. “Your Alpha rejected his mate then?” Offering me a creepy smile with his thinning teeth, I had to try not to shudder. He must think I broke my skull if I'm just going to merrily chat about Ayr to him. “What the fuck is it to you?” I replied back, weaving around the orange and gold baboon to slam some gold coins
The instant I left Robyn at Mrs Berrybrow’s Inn, I knew I had to get to work. Lucas was busy galloping after Marcus, so I roped in some Beta Warriors. Hoisting and heaving huge tree trunks into position. Hammering metal spokes in until the sweat soaked through their shirt. “Come on, this has to be ready to go up by nightfall!” I bellow, the sound of chopping and sawing filling the air. “Yes Raph!” they shout back in perfect unison. While they chopped, dug, and hammered, I was running around, sending links, sorting endless shit out. I needed rope, fittings, wheels, anything I could repurpose. Men are running around like ants on my command. For her. Nobody else. I’m being selfish for the first time in my life. I almost allow myself to say ‘my mate’ but even my wolf stops me. She’s not ours yet. I’ve already stumbled when she described herself as broken. I didn’t mean she hadn’t been through things. I only meant I see her whole. No flaws. Fuck I need to get better at talking to he
My mate is unnervingly quiet, however I’m slowly learning it’s not because he doesn’t care. Watching through the inn window, the sheen of sweat on his brow at the top of his chest did something inexplicable to me. My ribs tightened, brain short-circuited to the point I flung the door open before he had a chance to knock. Jet black tousled hair, face filled with worry. He must have been working hard. The sweet scent of fresh cut wood merging with rum left me so churned up that I ended up being the quiet one. A day spent with Mrs Berrybrow was no cure for the guilt I felt about Marcus either. She was kindness personified, but she knows I’m not Volare. What if I’m just the bitch who broke her favourite customer's heart? Then we met Ayr which meant another jump into the whirlpool of confusion. My blatant curiosity drank in the messy, chalky handprints on his shirt. Barely had his shirt tucked back in. Messy, roughed up. Deep down, I felt jealousy. Ayr looks like he barely knows what d
I didn’t stick around to hear Robyn’s rejection. I knew she would do a good job of it. Out of everything we agreed that night, the rejection was the riskiest. Had I been in earshot, what were the odds of the Goddess taking the vows as real? To make sure that wasn’t an option, the instant those lift doors shifted my small brown wolf spinted out unseen, straight towards the river.. The freezing water took my breath awa. Next time I cross, it will be over the bridge. On horseback. Luna of Kallio. Dry and dignified.Alternatively, the next time could be my body being dumped in a sack, like Lucas heard she did with Elder Brent.He was blamed for the forest fire, lack of management, time for a change. She hadn’t addressed the grain sale. Or the inevitably furious Locksley response she must have received. She did her usual spin and rewrite. The fire was an accident. The grain distribution to all the struggling villages by her supposedly-dead sister…didn’t happen.My wolf’s frantic paws h
I don’t like how useless this plan makes me. Cass insisted it would be good to know how the other Alpha’s attending the Council better. Gauge if Elle secured further devious allegiances like she had with Fenton. It was an excellent idea in principle. In reality I’m receiving a crash course in just how fast and viciously gossip can spread. Together with Lucas, we rode on horseback far and wide. No rain fell, yet the dark skies resembled the end of the world. By the time dawn broke, we were approaching Fenton’s packhouse.. Their new leader waiting.Around thirty, her jet-black hair hung in straight, lifeless locks. A large jade necklace covered her chest, and a simple brown gown with a white fur cape completed the ensemble. Her nose up high, no doubt mindlinking the guards to let us through in peace. “You have rather spoiled my surprise,” she remarked. “I know everyone is wanting to see which man got the Alpha title. Well, now you have Luna Jacintha of Fenton.” “An excellent move f
If I ever see Lucas again, I’m going to remind him, very strongly, of the fact his mate is a top-tier bastard. How can the Goddess see those two as something worth pairing together? It’s just a waste of my best friend's heart. Without sunlight, I have no idea how long it’s been. It’s been so kind of Captain Fuckbag, as I’ve renamed calling Cesar, to ensure I get to sleep with a freshly cracked skull every time I recover from the last whack. I don’t know what he’s trying to achieve. It’s not like I’m going to suddenly beg to join Kallio. Not with the promise of concussion and a dungeon view. All jokes aside, I don’t know how many times I can be knocked unconscious and keep waking up. Everyone has a limit. I wince to think of this happening to Cass, idly wondering if Elder Cesar hits as hard as that old mole Elder Brent. Yet she’s turning down a life by Ayr’s side for dire cliff-face of crumbling power. I know where I’d rather be, and I don’t even want Ayr to smash any doors down f
Robyn somehow found me, naked and curled up on the outskirts of the village. My wolf was exhausted with nothing left to give. I smiled weakly as Robyn silently fussed and checked over me. There is a wolf waiting, every generation for a chance to finally descend, created through the bond between mine and Ayr’s wolves. Instead of seeing the Goddess as cruel for pairing Elle and I so closely, I think the Goddess is tiring of this twisted cycle. Not that I can tell Robyn any of this just yet. In silence, she began to dress me in long woollen pyjamas. Gently, she whispered. “we need to leave now. Can you stand?" Her pale blue eyes are alive, every move is more decisive. Something has definitely happened with Raphael. Guided back to her horse, I her mate strides over, green eyes glued to her. I get merely a nod. He is utterly sunk for her, I wonder if she realises.Corbin appears, his grey eyes always so serious and calm. He opens his arm, offering me a hug before freezing in uncertain
The outskirts of my packhouse found itself transformed into the unofficial Kallio waiting room for a full morning. Over a dozen idiotic Alpha’s and their entourages left waiting for the bridge. A gaggle of carriages, velvet, furs, capes, and jewels. All ready to make an impression on Elle. All waiting for the bridge to drop. Seated on Pepper, worrying about my cannonball and her schemes, I had minor Beta’s mindlinking all the overheard insults as different packs passed through. Declaring Volare deserves razing to the ground. A shame they have a degenerate Alpha in charge. Well they are all in for a shock. Men like the aged, grey, Alpha Silas quivering under ten layers of blankets openly scowled, refusing to meet my gaze. Alpha Ricardo had not fetched any of his teenage daughters. Luna Jacintha sat tall on her white horse, inviting stares and surprise with triumph, long silk sleeves trailing down her horses shoulders. She did not acknowledge me, turning her nose up. Enjoying th
Corbin is the first to arrive, urgency in his steely eyes. He and Ayr now share the dubious honour of matching neck scars. I imagine his lower chest is even more grisly after the attack on him “Is everything okay? It’s so fantastic to see you,” enjoying the sweep of his huge, iron-like hug. The sweet scent of warm baking is the only soft feature about this hardened leader. “When they set up a room for me to recover in, they found this. I thought you should have it,” withdrawing a thick envelope from his jacket. “It’s written by your mother.” I stare at the aged paper and wonder just what I will gain from reading her drunken rantings. “What made you bring this? She must have hundreds of letters, I know she kept a diary too.”“She addressed it to you. It’s the only one with your name on it. No diaries found.” "Go on, I’ll greet everyone else. It will only irritate you if you don’t read it now, " Ayr suggested "Corbin and I need to talk bridges," as the pair grinned. I took the letter
Life is very different in Volare these days. Leo is almost two. Wonderful in every way, his pouty lips and blue eyes making it almost impossible to tell him no. I flit between wondering what my mother would think of my own material efforts. Praying I make better choices than her. I still don’t know what the hell was on her mind when she died. Was it out of love for me or hatred of Elle? Staring at Leo, I will never understand how she stood by all those years in silence. It has taken some serious organising but tonight, finally everyone is going to be reunited. A celebration of friendship. Raphael and Robyn have been sorely missed. Almost eighteen months without any visits between us. Corbin had requested all bridges go up for our own safety for a period. He was attacked in an uprising in the centre of Pemberton. Touring a pack and hit in the chest with a cannonball. Quite how the fuck a group of rebels got hold of a cannon is something Raphael is furiously investigating. The nigh
She’s dreamed of me? Even as my head spins in a frenzy of pure desire, I need to delve into that conversation more. Women are clearly my blind spot. No pun intended. She’s guiding me along the wooden wall, “I‘m staying in the packhouse, come on,” she breathes, and I’m so close to just being swept along. But this is serious. Flashes of Imelda cross my mind. “Jessica, Jessica, come on, what do you mean dreaming? What colour are your eyes?” as she drags me into the packhouse. Where I once snuck in order to shave in Ayr’s fancy bathroom. Her hand feels so tiny in mine. In fact, everything about her is petite. I’m almost stumbling, and I secretly love the way she doesn’t give a shit I can’t see. She’s taking me to her room regardless. “How about you just trust me?” she whispers before placing a kiss on my open chest. Shit that must be how tall she is. When she first kissed me, she must have been on her tiptoes. What the hell is this? “If you know who I am, I don’t…I’m not going to b
Jessica never appeared at dinner. It was a shame, I totally thought her and Marcus might hit it off, but there will be more opportunity. She’s got that daring confidence that I thought might spark his interest. When the lightning flashed and rain descended, everyone jumped in the packhouse. Ayr ran out to find Marcus. Check he hadn’t got caught in the storm and lost his bearings, but he was nowhere to be seen. His blue gauze was trodden into the mud by the packhouse door, though. “He’s not answering his link?” Ayr said, rubbing his chin. “If he wants us, he will,” Matthew answered steadily. “There’s a line of how much he’ll ask for.” Ayr reluctantly agreed, and the evening continued as planned. Drinks consumed, food eaten, I sat in our bed and watched Ayr as he stripped down. I know how long he stays awake at night reading to me. I also know how the instant he thinks I’m asleep he switches from pirate adventures to love sonnets. My dreams are warm, full of summer sun and happiness
The day I stop opening my eyes and searching for a flicker of dawn will be when my wolf stops trying too. Not once did I stop believing. Now, finally, after almost five years, something has happened. Since Ayr told me their silver wolf has vanished from the heavens, the constant blackness has started to part. There are shadows and hints of grey and white in my peripheral vision. I can’t see shapes, but there is lightness where once only pitch black existed. My first instinct was to call out to Berrybrow. But then I shut my lips and breathe sharply. This is for me to know. My secret. For if it turns out, all I can see are the shadows at the edges. What has been gained? But maybe, just maybe my purgatory is finally ending? I already know my irises have turned to jade. Mrs Berrybrow was sweet to sell it kindly, maybe as proof that my wolf is still trying to heal me. Ayr has since said he doesn’t give a fuck, that I was exactly the same man to him. Except hearing how the others hav
I secretly bought a set of jangling bells, but thankfully, they weren’t necessary. I did once tie them to her and woke up to a barrage of jangling cushions to the face. Then she pinned my wrists to the mattress as best as she could before wrapping her mouth around my semi-hard early morning dick. Confusing, briefly terrifying me and making me want to explode all in the space of five seconds. Perfection. Now, such spontaneity has been briefly retired. Instead, she has to choose from a pile of leatherbound books instead of leaping onto my groin. Holding out a selection of hardbacks, I mock-grumpily bark. “Pick one then,” before helping to place the covers over my hugely pregnant, half-glowing, half-irritated mate. We’re in the final stages of this miracle of a pregnancy, and somehow, my plan worked. “You always know which one I’ll choose,” she smiles back softly, her stunningly soft figure draped in an emerald green silk nightgown before choosing the same one she’s had for the pas
It’s not possible. “It can’t be…I mean…” only to turn and see the look on Ayr’s face. The one I’ve always wanted to see. It’s joyous. The sweetest, kindest expression. A god melted into a beaming man. But it is a look he shouldn’t be giving me. Anyway, it’s just one old lady’s opinion. I said I felt sick, but that surely happens to everyone who’s having the minor trauma of almost killing their mate in their sleep. Accepting the golden-eyed wolf could be hunting Ayr and I down for the rest of our lives out of spite is enough to turn anyone’s stomach. Or, as Mrs Berrybrow suggested, the golden-wolf attaches itself to a newborn. Then what? The instant some child turns eighteen and can connect with their spirit, will their soul be corrupted. Try to harm us? “Cass?” Ayr whispers, before reaching out for my hand. I have no idea how long I’ve been silent for whilst I felt the idyllic protection of my Volare life crumble around me. It's not safe. It will never be safe. I still can’t move
It’s been almost three months, and with Cass at my side, anything feels possible. Apart from conception, obviously, but we’ve both agreed that doesn’t matter in the slightest right now. I don’t know how it works, but even the Volare population seemed brighter. The packhouse has never seen so many bawdy nights, bands playing, people talking late into the night. Annoyingly, now I’m officially not a kidnapping, raping, deviant scumbag, the other packs are scrambling to purchase even more of our goods. Something to be remembered every time I am forced to attend a Council with the two-faced pricks. Apart from Locksley. He had absolutely zero scruples in buying fancy items from a despised Alpha. Or trying to seduce Cass via pastel suits and bouquets of flowers but thank fuck that game is over. At Cass’s request I have even led a couple of Volare full moon runs. Pretty sure she just wanted to get me naked in the Kallio side of the woods though. Unfamiliar territory to her meant I had th
Robyn had arrived in Volare with a few of my favourite gowns and essentials. Like she already knew I would never be coming back if they found me in Volare. “Cass what the hell happened here!” she gasped, taking in the dishevelled room. “Take a guess, Robyn!” I reply, towel wrapped around my body. “AH you're marked. I knew it!” she squealed.Hugging tightly, I quickly dressed, and we headed down to the main packhouse. I couldn’t resist my hunger any longer. Taking a long, empty bench in the far corner, my hair still damp from the shower with Ayr, I told her everything. Yet just last week, when we played with Lucy’s dolls house, I assured her I was fine. Snapped it at her if I recall properly. Now she knows the full extent of the agreement, the silver wolf waiting to be born. How we had decided, after making amends with everyone, that we had a clean slate. No guilt, no blame. Just forwards. “That’s exactly how it should be,” Robyn smiled. “I can not believe how much you’ve changed