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Why on earth did I commit to leaving this afternoon? Cass may have a point about being shit at plans. Except if I stayed any longer there’s a chance I genuinely would just kidnap her and keep her in my bedroom for until the end of time. My wolf gives a little surge. Since deciding to do this wolf-led adventure, his presence is certainly stronger. Reluctantly trudging miles away from my packhouse, the rain steadily falls. I’m looking to find a safe place to leave my clothes and armour for when I return. Avoid the whole naked walk through my pack again. Goddess, I hope my wolf comes through for me. Ideally, tonight. I’ve got to get back to Cass as soon as possible. Not because I think she’ll run. Or because I want to lose myself in her decadent moans again. Getting to know more and more of her every conversation. But because when we parted, leaving her with my three Beta’s her eyes were just beaming. Swirling amber and silver shards radiating tenderness. For me. Somehow. To know sh
In the few hours we managed to smuggle together before he left, Ayr took me for a walk. It was a fantastic idea considering the fact I was still getting over how desperately I lost myself in the shower.. Except he took me back to the prison. He pointed out where his fathers packhouse had once stood. What used to happen at those gallows. How his father had to rule with strength. I’d call it fear, but this wasn’t the time for a debate. Instead, I listened as he confessed about the history books judging him. Whether his pack is happy under him or if the sacrifice of hiding men underground was too steep a price. Then he shrugged his shoulders and softly pulled me closer. I stroked blonde hairs from his forehead. “You’re too hard on yourself.” “I’m not hard enough. Trying to be perfect for everyone else to the point I almost lost you? What kind of fool does that make me?” I smirked as a teasing answer came to my head. His concerned face didn't deserve it, though I pulled him to me for
It’s been almost a week. Every night, I go to bed, still in Mrs. Berrybrows' comfortable guest room, I try to ignore the curling fear in my stomach. Where is he? I should have asked him to mark me before he left. Not for any stupid schemes with Elle, but so I could know, within my soul, that he was safe. He could be captured in Kallio. Drowned in that awful, lethal river. What if Elle has rounded up all the exiles and there is no sign of Robyn, Corbin, and the others to be found anywhere?I pull open the curtains and stare up at the night sky. The clouds are thickening, barely any sun got through today. I can hear everyone in the pack commenting on it as they potter by. Then, the saner part of me reminds me that Ayr is a grown man. Thirty years old. Strength of a god, or so it feels when he flings me into the air. Capable of leading hundreds of Betas into war. Survived perfectly fine on his own before I came along mere months ago. Meaning deep down, I’m worried because I wasn’t do
My wolf is one stubborn mutt. They could tell I had one eye on finding the exiles. And they weren’t having it for a second. Not one single dream for the first five nights. I got to gasp at our sheer speed and vicious hunting prowess. The majesty of nature and all those things someone more artistic than me would enjoy. But I’m on a schedule. Cass is waiting for me. If I'm gone too long she’ll go it alone. She wants the legitimacy of taking over in front of every other Alpha, clearing her name. Next week is her shot. At least, after almost drowning, yet again, the woods in the north of Kallio were quiet enough. Enough caves and ditches to tuck into at night. Nestling down, breathing slowly, I warned my wolf on the sixth evening. This was his last chance. I need to know. Whatever the truth may be.What a foolish declaration that was. With a low, rumbling growl, my wolf buried its head down and hurtled us into black, swirling nothing. An overwhelming landslide of information hit. Life
“Do we have a problem, Corbin?” I grunt, shrugging the heavy black shirt over my head. “Because when Cass defeats Elle, I’ve suggested you should be her Beta. I’ve heard nothing but excellent things about you?” He shook his head and gestured to the right of the fire. Dozens of men in sleeping bags, blankets, and even straw piled high. They’re living rough. “Excellent? Look at this place. We’re on the run. We are all waiting for Cassie. We believe she’s going to come through, take her throne. I’ve got a few men itching to defect for a shot at trying to find the gold she’s stashed on the coast though.” “How many?” “At least a dozen. Silver brands aren’t a personality trait, but you tell someone they’re scum long enough they’ll start acting like it.” Corbin and Raphael would find lots in common. Both are so steady and serious. No interest in gossip. I noticed Corbin’s aged, brittle chainmail over his grey long-sleeved top, his boots in need of repair. Maybe Volare can help with some
Fed, Robyn turned her back so I could assist with her corset ribbons. “Cass gave me this dress. It’s a shame to ruin it.” “We have lots more back in Volare, don’t worry. I intend to sort out your brother and his shitty boots too,” I reply gruffly. She smothers a laugh. “True, they are falling apart.” I noticed her silver mark, very faint, like spatters of rainfall working down her lower back. Graceful and delicate, like the dancer she was born to be. Instead of stripping off, I just shredded the clothes I stood in, allowing my ashy brown wolf to rise once more. With the gathering grey clouds ahead, we sprinted. Robyn’s wolf was excitable, sprinting and darting all over to find more obstacles to fly over. Finally, we reached the river. Our enthusiasm ground to a halt. Rainfall has churned up the rapids into a sea of white, raging foam. Robyn’s brown wolf’s paws skitter nervously at the edge. Peering down the black rocks, trying to judge a crossing. I let out a little bark of warni
The six of us are trapped in an awkward stand-off. Nearly all of my joy at seeing Ayr has diverted into guilt about Robyn’s life being put in danger. Nearly all. As soon as she started hacking up water, I allowed myself to enjoy the fizzing sparks. The temptation to deny him a blanket was unreal. Then Robyn said that tiny, potentially friendship-shattering word. Still staring at the ground, frozen by an emotion I can’t even begin to guess at. Marcus’s mouth hangs open. He’s still holding onto her hand. Like he can will the Goddess into changing her mind. I don’t need to be on the Volare mindlink to know that Lucas is currently screaming SHIT SHIT SHIT at Ayr. I just grip Ayr a little tighter, press his hand harder across my stomach. We all just assumed. I completely forgot that a mate bond doesn’t play by our human expectations. They obviously liked each other. We all watched her eyes light up as he announced himself. Robyn, not jumping into bed with Marcus, perhaps gave him t
From what I’ve heard, the overwhelming feeling you get when your mate bond clicks into place, shouldn’t be guilt. Shame from having blatantly desired another man, his best friend, by the looks of it. A man I hadn’t looked twice at. I only stumbled because I was rushing to get to Marcus.How stupid can you get? Now I’m walking hand in hand with a stranger. Far ahead of us, Cass and Ayr dived into an embrace. Easy and natural, his arms clamped her to him whilst her arms snaked carefully around the scars on his neck, into his hair. Not even caring who saw. Even though the clouds are dark grey and ominous, I swear the patch of land they stood on seemed brighter. It's clear Ayr adores her, not that he said much. But his face just lifted whenever Cass came into our hiking chats.So where do I go from here? Because I'm definitely not beaming like Cass.My mate, apparently called Raphael, is holding my hand but not tightly as we slowly walk. If I gave the slightest tug of resistance, I k
Corbin is the first to arrive, urgency in his steely eyes. He and Ayr now share the dubious honour of matching neck scars. I imagine his lower chest is even more grisly after the attack on him “Is everything okay? It’s so fantastic to see you,” enjoying the sweep of his huge, iron-like hug. The sweet scent of warm baking is the only soft feature about this hardened leader. “When they set up a room for me to recover in, they found this. I thought you should have it,” withdrawing a thick envelope from his jacket. “It’s written by your mother.” I stare at the aged paper and wonder just what I will gain from reading her drunken rantings. “What made you bring this? She must have hundreds of letters, I know she kept a diary too.”“She addressed it to you. It’s the only one with your name on it. No diaries found.” "Go on, I’ll greet everyone else. It will only irritate you if you don’t read it now, " Ayr suggested "Corbin and I need to talk bridges," as the pair grinned. I took the letter
Life is very different in Volare these days. Leo is almost two. Wonderful in every way, his pouty lips and blue eyes making it almost impossible to tell him no. I flit between wondering what my mother would think of my own material efforts. Praying I make better choices than her. I still don’t know what the hell was on her mind when she died. Was it out of love for me or hatred of Elle? Staring at Leo, I will never understand how she stood by all those years in silence. It has taken some serious organising but tonight, finally everyone is going to be reunited. A celebration of friendship. Raphael and Robyn have been sorely missed. Almost eighteen months without any visits between us. Corbin had requested all bridges go up for our own safety for a period. He was attacked in an uprising in the centre of Pemberton. Touring a pack and hit in the chest with a cannonball. Quite how the fuck a group of rebels got hold of a cannon is something Raphael is furiously investigating. The nigh
She’s dreamed of me? Even as my head spins in a frenzy of pure desire, I need to delve into that conversation more. Women are clearly my blind spot. No pun intended. She’s guiding me along the wooden wall, “I‘m staying in the packhouse, come on,” she breathes, and I’m so close to just being swept along. But this is serious. Flashes of Imelda cross my mind. “Jessica, Jessica, come on, what do you mean dreaming? What colour are your eyes?” as she drags me into the packhouse. Where I once snuck in order to shave in Ayr’s fancy bathroom. Her hand feels so tiny in mine. In fact, everything about her is petite. I’m almost stumbling, and I secretly love the way she doesn’t give a shit I can’t see. She’s taking me to her room regardless. “How about you just trust me?” she whispers before placing a kiss on my open chest. Shit that must be how tall she is. When she first kissed me, she must have been on her tiptoes. What the hell is this? “If you know who I am, I don’t…I’m not going to b
Jessica never appeared at dinner. It was a shame, I totally thought her and Marcus might hit it off, but there will be more opportunity. She’s got that daring confidence that I thought might spark his interest. When the lightning flashed and rain descended, everyone jumped in the packhouse. Ayr ran out to find Marcus. Check he hadn’t got caught in the storm and lost his bearings, but he was nowhere to be seen. His blue gauze was trodden into the mud by the packhouse door, though. “He’s not answering his link?” Ayr said, rubbing his chin. “If he wants us, he will,” Matthew answered steadily. “There’s a line of how much he’ll ask for.” Ayr reluctantly agreed, and the evening continued as planned. Drinks consumed, food eaten, I sat in our bed and watched Ayr as he stripped down. I know how long he stays awake at night reading to me. I also know how the instant he thinks I’m asleep he switches from pirate adventures to love sonnets. My dreams are warm, full of summer sun and happiness
The day I stop opening my eyes and searching for a flicker of dawn will be when my wolf stops trying too. Not once did I stop believing. Now, finally, after almost five years, something has happened. Since Ayr told me their silver wolf has vanished from the heavens, the constant blackness has started to part. There are shadows and hints of grey and white in my peripheral vision. I can’t see shapes, but there is lightness where once only pitch black existed. My first instinct was to call out to Berrybrow. But then I shut my lips and breathe sharply. This is for me to know. My secret. For if it turns out, all I can see are the shadows at the edges. What has been gained? But maybe, just maybe my purgatory is finally ending? I already know my irises have turned to jade. Mrs Berrybrow was sweet to sell it kindly, maybe as proof that my wolf is still trying to heal me. Ayr has since said he doesn’t give a fuck, that I was exactly the same man to him. Except hearing how the others hav
I secretly bought a set of jangling bells, but thankfully, they weren’t necessary. I did once tie them to her and woke up to a barrage of jangling cushions to the face. Then she pinned my wrists to the mattress as best as she could before wrapping her mouth around my semi-hard early morning dick. Confusing, briefly terrifying me and making me want to explode all in the space of five seconds. Perfection. Now, such spontaneity has been briefly retired. Instead, she has to choose from a pile of leatherbound books instead of leaping onto my groin. Holding out a selection of hardbacks, I mock-grumpily bark. “Pick one then,” before helping to place the covers over my hugely pregnant, half-glowing, half-irritated mate. We’re in the final stages of this miracle of a pregnancy, and somehow, my plan worked. “You always know which one I’ll choose,” she smiles back softly, her stunningly soft figure draped in an emerald green silk nightgown before choosing the same one she’s had for the pas
It’s not possible. “It can’t be…I mean…” only to turn and see the look on Ayr’s face. The one I’ve always wanted to see. It’s joyous. The sweetest, kindest expression. A god melted into a beaming man. But it is a look he shouldn’t be giving me. Anyway, it’s just one old lady’s opinion. I said I felt sick, but that surely happens to everyone who’s having the minor trauma of almost killing their mate in their sleep. Accepting the golden-eyed wolf could be hunting Ayr and I down for the rest of our lives out of spite is enough to turn anyone’s stomach. Or, as Mrs Berrybrow suggested, the golden-wolf attaches itself to a newborn. Then what? The instant some child turns eighteen and can connect with their spirit, will their soul be corrupted. Try to harm us? “Cass?” Ayr whispers, before reaching out for my hand. I have no idea how long I’ve been silent for whilst I felt the idyllic protection of my Volare life crumble around me. It's not safe. It will never be safe. I still can’t move
It’s been almost three months, and with Cass at my side, anything feels possible. Apart from conception, obviously, but we’ve both agreed that doesn’t matter in the slightest right now. I don’t know how it works, but even the Volare population seemed brighter. The packhouse has never seen so many bawdy nights, bands playing, people talking late into the night. Annoyingly, now I’m officially not a kidnapping, raping, deviant scumbag, the other packs are scrambling to purchase even more of our goods. Something to be remembered every time I am forced to attend a Council with the two-faced pricks. Apart from Locksley. He had absolutely zero scruples in buying fancy items from a despised Alpha. Or trying to seduce Cass via pastel suits and bouquets of flowers but thank fuck that game is over. At Cass’s request I have even led a couple of Volare full moon runs. Pretty sure she just wanted to get me naked in the Kallio side of the woods though. Unfamiliar territory to her meant I had th
Robyn had arrived in Volare with a few of my favourite gowns and essentials. Like she already knew I would never be coming back if they found me in Volare. “Cass what the hell happened here!” she gasped, taking in the dishevelled room. “Take a guess, Robyn!” I reply, towel wrapped around my body. “AH you're marked. I knew it!” she squealed.Hugging tightly, I quickly dressed, and we headed down to the main packhouse. I couldn’t resist my hunger any longer. Taking a long, empty bench in the far corner, my hair still damp from the shower with Ayr, I told her everything. Yet just last week, when we played with Lucy’s dolls house, I assured her I was fine. Snapped it at her if I recall properly. Now she knows the full extent of the agreement, the silver wolf waiting to be born. How we had decided, after making amends with everyone, that we had a clean slate. No guilt, no blame. Just forwards. “That’s exactly how it should be,” Robyn smiled. “I can not believe how much you’ve changed