>>>>Childhood trauma. >>> “Dawn?” Miles calls, turning to look at me but I spare him no glance. I fixate my stare on the woman who glares back at me. I watch the woman who suddenly changed towards me since she lost her husband. The man whose identity I’m suspecting. The man who all my life, I’ve called father but got no affection from. No love in return. The man who has a brand mark on the side of his neck. My mother straightens from one foot to another, watching, glaring, fisting. I know it’s bad that this is how I greet her after being away for about six months. For six months she didn’t so much as call or check up on me. For six months she didn’t so much as call or respond to my calls. She avoided me like a plague. Just like her husband, my father did. She estranged from me and turned from being loving, and supportive to being cold-hearted. I don’t know the weight of my sins that warranted such a cold attitude towards me but right now I want answers. The only time I break star
>>>>He was paid.>>>> Loud music filters through my ears and I relax against the railing of the VIP section of Benson’s club, dragging sips from my mojito cocktail. My eyes overlook the dancing floor where bodies move in tandem with each other. Males hold females by their waist, grazing their bulging cocks to the ladies' asses. Cocktail glasses hover above some people’s heads as they drink and rock their bodies. Billows of smoke fill the air as people take drags from their pot and cig. Benson’s club is brisk with immoral activities and I love watching it. I savor the lack of morals. I love watching what others would deem evil. Suddenly, the DJ changes the music and the people yell in happiness and their bodies start grinding with reckless abandon against each other. Men skid their hands through the ladles' barely clad chest, feeling their round tits in the palm of their hands. Some saw their lips against each other. The air explodes with sexual tension. The strippers rise to the s
>>>He knows where I live.>>>> I slam the cab's door a little too loud as frustration consumes me. “Easy, miss.” The Cabbie growls. “You'll pay if the door spoils…” He adds and I mutter. “Sorry. I lost my shits.” I purse my lips when he glares up at me. I left Dr. Sarah’s house drowning in thoughts about her words that I substituted memories. The traumatic event from my dark past made me substitute memories. It might have worked back then. It might have helped me to overcome the ugly past but now, more than anything I want to know those dark things which I all but forgot. Those things I substituted new memories in order to forget. “Better be careful.” The cabbie growls again and swiftly snatches the money I’m handing him. I whirl around and I face the house I remember growing up in. Now, however, the house feels no less strange to me. Like it’s not where I belong. Memories of the man who hates me fill my mind whenever I try to walk into the house. I remember the lack of aff
*Knight in a shining armor.*Heart sprinting with intense ferocity, breath coming out in violent pants, and my feet pounding on the hardwood floor, I run for my life. “Mom!!” Miles bellows as the rattling of the gunshots rages over the walls of our house. Feet pound with a heart-wrenching thud against the floor as the men draw closer. My eyes are filled with tears and my eardrums with white noise as the knowledge that today will be my last dawn on me. I’ll die without getting to know the real me. My real name…real family…real identity. I race as fast as my feet can carry me. I rush and duck under the stairs as the muzzle of their guns spits bullets like a tornado of rage. I can hear my ferocious breathing even amidst the gunshots. Suddenly, like a slow motion, I clasp my hand over my ears willing the sounds to die out as images fill my mind. ***Flashback***“Papa!” The little girl well adorned with a fairytale dress calls out. I can’t see the faces clearly. It’s all a blur. But
***Protect what's mine.*** One minute. The words spins in my head as realization dawn on me. If I had been one fucking minute late I’d have lost her. If I hadn’t rush out of the club and stopped the fucking meeting I was having with Benson at his club I’d lost my rypka. I’m filled with red-hot rage. It’s thick and scalding as it streams through my blood. Rypka would have been dead, forgotten. Images of how the men race after her as she aims for the back door of their house flood in my vision. Her pale, anxiety-filled face appear in my vision. Fuckers!!! I roar, howl inwardly as the realization that I’d have lost the girl I’m madly obsessed with flicker through me. They’d have shot her dead!! I tighten my fist against the wheel and gnash my teeth together as more rage, anger bloom within me. Red-hot anger. Who is the fucker behind all this fucking attack!!? Show yourself and stop hiding like a cunt. Face me!! Let’s finish this up. Show yourself!! I rasp in my mind, wanting t
***I am his to claim.***“My new place?” Surprised, I taste Dima’s words on my lips and honestly, I find it confusing. Is he doing this to uplift my mood and make me forget about the dead bodies that is Miles and my mother? I let my eyes fall shut as images of their dead, frozen bodies spiral through me. I was trying to calm myself earlier but it only worked when Dima held me with his pudgy hand. I felt his lips moving against mine in my shallow slumber and it helped me to relax further. The fear that brim me rid off and a sense of safety took over. Now, I feel incredibly safe with Dima by my side. I feel like he's the only one that can truly protect me from harms way. And he's proven it tonight. Tonight he fought my attackers in rage, wanting nothing but to shield me, to protect me. Dima’s my breastplate. My protector. My dangling legs jerk in his arms as he shepherds me into the exotic apartment complex’s foyer. There’s no one around as we head into the elevator and D
****Say it again.****Maybe I was wrong. Maybe that thought that crossed my mind a few minutes back was wrong. With the way Dima kisses me, I fault my thoughts. With the way he holds me, imprisoning me in his hold, I fault my instincts. Dima will never leave me. He has already claimed me as his. He said forever he'll possess me. Forever, I’ll be his. The woman for the Pakhan. The woman for the bratva king. A crime boss. A man who all but reeks of danger, death, and darkness. Yet, despite the feelings clawing at me…the red flags that would scare normal people away from him, I don’t run rather my burning desire for him magnifies. Well, I guess that makes me to be above normal again. I don’t look or embody that which is normal because all my mind and heart and soul can think about is Dima. My whole being wants him. The man that dragged me away from the clutches of death. The man that soiled his flawless skin with the blood of my assailants. The man that all but got a house for me an
***Two dark souls.***I jerk awake and quickly notice the weight pressing against me. It’s not too heavy, no…it’s light, slender, and most of all, soft. I circle my brawn arm around it, pressing the weight deeper against me. Rypka, I murmur. I love how her body fits against mine. How she depends on me for safety, even in the depth of her slumber. And always, I want to provide her with nothing but safety. I want to be her fortification, the only place where peace, safety, and joy will belie her. A smile ghosts across my lips as I hold her but sadly, it soon evaporates as my mind begins to filter through her words a while ago. She’s afraid that I’ll eventually grow tired of her and leave. Something that’s furthest from my mind. I can’t…I can’t ever leave the only woman that shows me the right amount of love my mother showed me when she was alive. I can’t shove away the only place from whence I receive peace. Dawn is my solace and I always want to be hers. When those words dropped
*****Epilogue.******Six months later.**The sounds of my laughter file through the air as Yulia fills me in on Dasha’s tantrums. Something the toddler lately developed. I laugh while shoving the food down my throat, feeling more happy and safe than I’ve felt in the past year. All my paranoia vanished and now I’m even adding more weight. Jeez. I never knew I had it in me. However, I’m not eating much as the doctor advised so it'll not make my baby fat in the belly, hence difficulty in giving birth. So, that means what’s making me add weight is happiness. Wow, I never knew it’s possible until I found myself in the position. The last six months have been a water shed in my life. I thought I’d lose my pregnancy after all the torture I went through but no. I got lucky that the doctors staunched the bleeding and saved my child. Now, my belly is out and my child is growing peacefully. Dima has never stopped fussing over me and the baby. Jeez, I never knew the man
>>>>The End.>>>>I’ve been sweeping in and out of consciousness since their last bout of torture. God, my body is nothing but a house of pain. The laser they zap my body with has roped tight my muscles. I whimper, feeling the wetness gathering on my thighs. What is happening? Am I bleeding? With fear, I start to wring on the seat so my shorts will hitch up mid-thigh to reveal the wetness that has pooled in my thighs. While in my struggling process, I hear heavy footsteps edging closer to me and I peer up. There he is, waddling closer to me with a harsh gleam in his eyes. He pauses before me and I stare up at him not wanting him to smell even a string of my fear and despair. Oleg leans closer and cradles my jaw with brute force, rage gleaming in his eyes. I shudder and my inside recoils as his eyes find their way into mine. “Your knight in shining armor is out to get you.” He chuckles darkly. His thumb flicks over my parched lips. I curse him for laying his filthy
****FBI Blacksite.*****It’s hard to take in. My mind has been boggled ever since Mae revealed the truth to me. I still have some doubts. How in hell had Benson been my father without my knowing? It’s strange. It's so difficult to believe but the string of evidence Mae pulled together is foolproof. It wasn’t something she made up. No. It’s real. It’s the truth. Benson is my father. Benson is Oleg Arkadi Kozlov. The man behind my mother’s sufferings. Shit!! I can’t wait to send him into the depths of pain and let death embrace him. Not only had he caused the woman I loved pains by raping her. No, he went as far as to make her life at Vladimir’s estate a living hell. Even when she had found peace during the time Vladimir locked Benson in Volsk, he shortened her moments of happiness with the assassination. He murdered her just to be sure he never see her live a life of fulfillment. How heartless could he be? He not only hurt my mother he also hurt me. He ruined my chi
****Take me as hostage.*****I never once thought something would ever make me anxious in my life. Not even when my mother was shot dead before my eyes. No. All I felt when I saw my mama lying in the pool of her own blood was raw anger. I wanted so much to exert revenge on Vladimir because I tagged him as the cause of our plight. I was never anxious. But…too bad I am now. I’ve been anxious since I figured Faustina is evil. I’ve been anxious since I found out she was behind it all. She threw my rypka to the wolves to devour. My woman is out there pregnant with my seed and without protection. Fuck! I grit my teeth at the gaping realization and shove my fingers through my hair. My mind has been overloaded with the possibility of the conditions she might have been subjected to by now. Shit, I can’t take this. I can’t bring myself to imagine my rypka being tortured. I can’t envision the pain she'd be feeling. I swear to avenge her and my child. But most of all, I pray this very
>>>>>You're Dima's father.>>>>Whispering voices fill the air around me as I wake from my deep slumber. I wheeze a breath but I figure my throat is dry. Totally dry. I try to wet my throat with my saliva but hell, I can barely muster enough to wet my dry throat. Where am I? How long have I been unconscious? All these questions fill my head but I can’t find any answer to it. I try to peer around but darkness falls into my vision. Hell, where is this? It’s more like I have a hood over my head. I try to jerk my hands but I can’t budge. I’m tied. At that, full-blown panic sets in and I begin to whimper, budging the restraints on my hands. “Hmmm…” I hum, seeking answers while I wrack my head for answers on what literally went down.How in hell did I end up here, manacled? With the fierce intensity which I wrack my mind, things start falling into place. The golden mask festival. My flight from Dima’s house to Moscow international airport. My landing in the U.S.
>>>>It's about you and Dawn. I never knew fury can form balls and lodge into one's chest but now I do. I fucking do because the balls keeps rotating in my chest as I punish my Byki more. “Ahhh, Pakhan please!” Russell hoots in excruciating pains as I cut his finger. He was supposed to guard the entrance but the fucker left it open and was smoking pot with some of the soldiers, giving Dawn the opportunity to escape. I fucking never knew she had plans of escape. How in hell was she able to fucking do that? I fist his hair, my jaw sets as I smack Russell hard across the face again. For the past three days, I’ve been teetering on the edge of insanity knowing my woman is out there and can get in the clutches of the wolves. I’ve not in the least bit cleared my head nor closed my eyes because if I do, only images of Dawn with her bloating belly crash into my mind. How could she do this to me? How? The woman has my child with her yet she chose to flee from me. The night of
*****Freedom.******The day slips by in a blur. I can’t tell what got me engaged until it’s time for the festival to begin. My nerves are jumpy while my mind is in a state of unrest about what will happen in hours to come. All day, I just lock myself in the room, thinking the best possible way to escape from this estate. I know Dima’s men are everywhere . His soldiers are stationed at every corner of this fucking place which will only make my escape hard. Hell, if care is not taken they might catch me and bring me back to their boss and only God knows what Dima will do. I all but wrack my mind for a solution. The perimeter alarm might give me away or the drones that keep flying around the estate every twenty hours. God, as much as this sounds good, I mean my ticket to freedom sounds good, it’s risky. It’s only someone that’s versatile about Dima’s property that can make an easy escape. It’s making me doubt whether I'll continue with this escape plan. If perhaps I’
>>>>>Ticket to freedom.>>>>>The soft knock on the door has me stirring from my sleep. I’m not able to concede the person’s visit as the door flutters open and three of Dima’s servants strut into the room bearing a dresser. I scrunch my nose knowing what the cloth they are herding into the room is for. For the past two days, I have been fitting into different dress for the so-called golden mask festival. Fucking don’t see the need for that. Dima alongside Yulia had called on the best fashion designer they have here in Russia and about three of these people brought the best of their dresses, forcing me to wear them to see the one that would suit the occasion but in the end, Dima would end up disliking it. Just yesterday, the last of the fashion designer came and took my measurements, promising to make a unique dress for me that'll suit the occasion. That should be the dress the servants are wheeling into the room. And for them to bring it here, it only means Dima approves
>>>>An Email.>>>>I pin my back to the door immediately I exit my room…Dawn’s room. My heart rolls with bitterness against my chest. She hates me. When I kissed her I felt her hunger for me. For my touch but something made her remember just the amount of hatred she has for me. It breaks me to know I’m the reason for this severed ties between us. I am the fucking reason. But should I fault myself? I can’t fault myself at all. All my life I’m wired to hate one man and that is Vladimir and by extension, his household. So, the rage I felt when I found out the mark that signifies Dawn as his printsessa can’t be vaporized. I almost acted on impulse at the hospital that night. Hell, I almost shot her. Had it been I wasn’t on the run, in my hands would her blood swim. But if I had killed her I’d have killed my child too…something that I’ve desired to have all my life. I want to have a baby with Dawn and now she’s pregnant, only I can’t get close to her because she hates