***
Long Island, New York
Alessandra
"I can't believe I slept through all that. I'm sorry, sorella maggiore. I really didn't realize how much of a mess we created. Papa really meant it this time, huh?"
Tori muttered from beside me as she nervously sipped her bubbly champagne, her third glass for the night. I couldn't blame her nervousness. We were amidst the sea of guests, all of whom had come forth to offer their congratulations on Emilio and Selene's engagement.
All of them are a bunch of snakes, dangerous beyond measure. They not only possess power but are greedy for more. Neither one of these people would think twice before ripping us apart were we to show any sort of weakness. It was this kind of negativity and constant plotting that I longed to run from.
I can't spend the rest of my life trying to figure out people's next moves and watching my back. It's just too much.
"Yeah, he did. I'm sorry, Tori. This is my fault. We should have left a little earlier in the night like we were supposed to."
I muttered, my heart constricting painfully within my chest at the thoughts that had been haunting me throughout the night. A nagging feeling of guilt in the back of my mind. My inability to be on top of our sneaking out sessions had blown our father's fuse. It pushed him over the edge, made him accelerate his timeline.
Selene was right. I should have kept Vittoria out of my madness...
"No, don't apologize. You've done nothing but open my eyes to the rot in our world and I will always be thankful to you for that. Unfortunately, papa seems determined to stretch his claws into my own future. It's a little sooner than I anticipated but we knew it was coming. Besides, I'm the one who insisted we should stay a little longer and I'm glad we did because we had an epic time. I regret nothing."
Tori was firm, her eyes shining with the warmth of the memories from the previous night. It was moments like these that reminded me just how grown up she was now. Things had certainly changed. Gone was the little girl I used to shield from the darkness of our world. She had been replaced by a strong willed and loving young woman.
One who deserves a future beyond all these fake displays of decorum and to be in the arms of a blood soaked man who would offer her nothing but despair. I must find a way to break us both free of this world.
"Yeah. I had a lot of fun too. I promise that we're going to have more of those. We are going to live in a world beyond mama's silk drapes and overly expensive champagne shared with these uppity assholes. We'll wear these evening gowns when we want to and do whatever the fuck we want."
I promised, earning myself a loud laugh from my little sister that turned to the snort that almost always made me laugh in turn. Tonight was no exception and we both ignored the displeased looks that our guests directed at us. Tori and I could always get lost in our own world, no matter where we were.
My wince killed the easy air surrounding us, though, as the stark reminder of last night's declaration resurfaced in our minds once more. Although my efforts to cover up the growing bruise on my cheek had been successful, the pain was still an apt reminder of what was at stake and Tori seemed to recognize this as her expression shifted into sadness.
"Are you okay? I can't fucking believe Uncle Salvatore did that to you and that Papa did nothing. How could he stand there and let that sadistic brute hurt you?"
Vittoria whispered harshly, making sure that no one around could hear. It had been ingrained into us to always keep our cards close to our chest. We could never show weakness or reveal the inner workings of our family, no matter how small or big. Caution was the number one reaction in settings like these, when vipers lurked in wait, ready to pounce at any moment.
I smiled slightly at my little sister's fierce protective side and the rage that shone in her eyes. Vittoria had always been the go-happy, relaxed and zen one among us. It was hard to make her mad but that wasn't to say that Italian blood did not flow through her veins. Her rage moments could be just as explosive as her happy moments.
"It's okay, sorellina. I'll be just fine. I can take a hit and, frankly, he hits a bit like Selene. You'd think the big and scary macellaio di Sicilia (butcher of Sicily) would have some gusto behind his hits but it just reminded me of Selene's puny punches. I'll be back in tip top shape in no time."
I reassured Tori, the two of us sharing a silent chuckle at my words. A running joke between Zeno, Tori and I, Selene's close combat skills were just as horrible as her attempt at making Cacio E P**e Pasta. Our trainers had made her decent enough to defend herself before refocusing their efforts to her other strengths. Very few could match her behind a sniper scope. She was a lethal strategist.
Mama's patience was too much like our late nonna, though and nothing like the trainers. She had given up on teaching her how to cook, her reason being a philosophy that was absolute to not only her but her own Mama. No one could be able to teach an Italian to make Pasta. It was a natural talent and Selene had, unfortunately, been skipped on that particular skill.
I just wish she would have put in the drive and passion she has for sniping into getting herself out of this damn mess.
My eyes found her easily in the crowd not only because of her gorgeous white gown that was adorned with Swarovski crystals on its corset and skirt but also due to the tuxedo wearing man standing beside her whose gaze I had been struggling to avoid all night.
Before Emilio Romano became my sister's fiancé, he had held the title of my biggest crush.
And who could blame me?
The man was a walking Abercrombie and Fitch model. Copper colored hair that was almost always in an effortless mess of curls, he beheld the most intense brown eyes and the most dazzling of smiles.
His fit physique came forth all the more in his tailor made suits that accentuated every single one of his best features, including his average muscular form and his 6"1 height that towered over not only Selene who stood beside him but also myself. I could not remember a time that I had not longed to be the center of his attention. He fascinated me, fed the part of me that longed for love and happily ever after.
To say I had struggled to squash my crush would be an understatement, especially after we hit our teens and Emilio became the quintessential Made Man, a future Mafia Don who had acquired the interest of many women who were definitely more beautiful and perfect to stand beside him.
Just as Selene is...Dio, they look so perfect together even now...
Rumors of Emilio's crush on my older sister broke only after he revealed the same to me in confidence seeing as we were such close friends. We talked about everything and anything under the sun but I wished hard that we had never spoken that night. That he had not broken my heart so.
That he had not pulled strings to make her his despite her clear feelings otherwise. He did the one thing I had told him I hated more than anything. He had reverted into every other detestable future Mafia Don by declaring his intentions for my older sister, uncaring of her feelings.
He showed me just how much he didn't care for me or my emotions. My feelings would never be reciprocated, not if he is willing to go to such lengths to have Selene as his. Not that I wanted him to love me back. Not anymore. Not after he showed me exactly what he was capable of.
I had refrained from including him in my plan, thanking my lucky stars that I never revealed it to him lest he reported back to my father. The two had become close, enough for Father to declare his eldest daughter as his betrothed.
Placing my feelings aside that my traitorous heart refused to cast away, I begged my sister to reconsider his proposal. To say no to him and do what she wanted to do. It was already too late, though. She had been convinced otherwise, pushed into believing that they were the perfect match. That they looked amazing together. That he was from a respectable family, one of the top trusted and most influential families in the Cosa Nostra.
That isn't what matters, though...right?...
Although I felt strongly against Emilio's actions, a part of me had been willing, ready to overlook the blood that stained his hands. I had been ready to chain myself to him despite all the stories I'd heard of his brutality against Cosa Nostra enemies.
I was willing to give excuses, blame it all on the cards we had been dealt and the world we had been born into. I had been willing to compromise everything that I had ever stood for just so I could be the one standing beside him.
But I wasn't brave enough to tell him how I felt. I wasn't brave enough to compromise everything I stood for. I couldn't be what he was looking for in a bride.
I wasn't Selene, the woman he loved enough to become a Don worthy of my Father's acceptance.
She had stepped up, chosen to stand beside him. She beat me, never allowed me to make that decision despite knowing nothing of my internal conflict. She became everything he wanted and all that I could never be.
Could that be why we fight the way we do? Could that be the reason behind our disagreements? Do I hate her for taking him away from me? For being everything I couldn't be...no, a reflection of what I could have been?
"Look at them. They're so damn perfect. Selene doesn't seem to be wound up at all about the argument you guys had last night. On the contrary, they seem to actually be enjoying the ass kissing. But, I mean, it is their engagement ceremony. She is the belle of the ball, just as she wanted to be."
Tori muttered, breaking my trance as I watched her grudgingly sip her champagne. I had not been the only one who had voiced my dissent on our sister's sudden nuptials. It had been the straw that broke the camel's back for Tori. It had motivated her to run from this world.
"Let's cut her some slack. She actually looked kind of sorry about the whole thing this morning when we were getting ready. I think the Texas sized bruise on my cheek had something to do with it. Besides, you know how hard it is for the two of us to apologize to each other."
I reasoned, earning a chuckle from Tori before she shoved at me slightly, playfully.
"You two fight like cats and dogs but you still love each other, huh? Now that's true sibling love. Nonna was right when she said you two would always battle it out to the edge of death but always be on the same team."
"A team that you are also a part of what with how you go head to head with Zeno. Cristo, we are such a train wreck family. Here's to childhood trauma, depression and anger issues. No therapist would ever agree to unpack the dark shit surrounding us. No amount of silk drapes and glitz and glam parties could hide the rot in our ranks."
I raised my glass to Tori, earning her cute little snort laugh in return as she clinked her glass with mine in agreement.
"Preach, sorella. Oh how amazing it is to be the problem children. While Selene and Zeno deal with these insufferable people, we are lounging on the side lines, away from their conversations and prying eyes just to keep them from nit picking on all the rumors they've heard. I don't know about you but I don't mind being an outcast at all."
I chuckled at Vittoria's words, squeezing her hand in my own. She had learnt so much, grown into a woman with her own opinions that were almost identical to my own. She really was my best friend in a world where friends meant nothing. Alleigances shifted at the drop of a hat.
"Well, I'm glad you like my world, sorellina. Revel in it before we begin the fight of our lives to gain true freedom. Soon, our names might be synonymous with being outcasts and much more."
***
*** Long Island, New York Alessandra "Could the two of you explain to me why the fuck some random asshole is hitting up my phone and begging for a 'copper haired bombshell's' number?! I know you didn't give some random man my phone number, Tori!" Zeno was pissed as he approached us, his words confusing us momentarily before Tori and I shared a knowing look, recalling last night's antics and the love-struck bartender. Chuckles escaped us despite our older brother's glare and threatening step towards the two of us. "Oh come on, big brother. Even you have to admit it's somewhat funny." I urged, wiping the escaped tears from laughing too hard whereas Tori snorts were yet to die down. Zeno rolled his eyes at my words, choosing instead to down his drink rather than respond to me. "I can't believe he actually called you! Are you sure he isn't looking for you, though, big brother? I mean, you do fit the description. Copper hair, bombshell with secret tastes we may not be privy to. I alw
*** Long Island, New York Alessandra "Thank you all for attending my daughter Selene's engagement party. This is a special occasion indeed. The union between the Rinaldi and Romano family will be absolute by the joining of our children. Thus, join me in declaring a toast to the new couple in town. May your union become everything we have dreamed of and beyond. Saluti!" "Saluti!" Papa declared, raising his glass high of which the rest of the guests mirrored with wide smiles, all of which were less than sincere if not completely fake. None of the individuals gathered would not hesitate to destroy us given the opportunity. Trust no one. That was key among the many rules taught to us from a young age. We knew when to be cautious of someone. Our trust had to be earned. That was just the kind of world we lived in. Ignoring the raised glasses, I downed my champagne glass in one swoop, much to my mother's chagrin as she granted me a disapproving look. I didn't care much for etiquette
*** Long Island, New York Alessandra I released a long, winded breath as I finally made my way towards the balcony. It would have to be my safe haven, away from all the conversations I would rather avoid and fake congratulations from women and men who wished to be in our shoes. Although I had left Diego to fend for himself amongst the sea of sharks, I knew he would be just fine. He has always been better at handling these situations than I am. The buzz of expensive champagne had began to settle in nicely within me and I welcomed it, anything to numb me and keep me from feeling like I've just been sold at an auction by my own Father. "Can you believe that announcement? Who do they think they're fooling with that whole 'union of our families' BS? We all know Don Massimo is hurrying to marry off Alessandra because she's a whore. I'm shocked Don Felipe Moreno is agreeing to have his son marry that pretentious bitch. Diego deserves so much better than her!" I paused at the threshold o
*** Long Island, New York Alessandra "Alessandra Lucia Rinaldi! Kalýtera na katéveis tóra! I won't keep calling for you." My mother's voice finally broke through the music blasting through my headphones. It was rare for Nova Rinaldi to raise her voice, let alone revert back to her roots. She only ever used Greek around the house if she was particularly incensed and when Papa was not around. He did make her learn Italian and banned her from speaking in her 'Father's heathen tongue' when she was in public or anywhere around him... I rolled my eyes at the thought. Papa really can't live without trying to control every single aspect of our lives. The sadist enjoys bringing us into despair. Its like he feeds off of it. You would think with all the shit he's up to out there, he would have had his fill of it. "I'm coming, Mama!" I shouted down before she came up the stairs for me. I could finally descend from my self imposed exile. I really didn't want to see or interact with Papa or
*** Manhattan, New York Draken The club was alive with activity, brimming with the set mood. Ecstasy saturated the air as did the smell of alcohol, cigarette smoke, sex and sweat. It was the heady combination that made any party outfit worth the visit. This was the currency of all the night owls, craving a good time and a few hours of inconsequential fun. This is, however, nothing like the wild abandon Moscow has to offer... It was no secret that I missed my home. It was the place that had not only birthed me but made me into the man that I was. Every bit of me, lethal and otherwise, had been shaped right on the hard and ruthless streets of my home and I regretted nothing of the years I had spent there. It had all been necessary, a lesson in the events to come. I valued every experience, brutal or not. It had brought me to this moment, to this new City that I would soon claim as my own with the help of the roots that had already been planted and those that would soon be stemmed j
Long Island, New York Alessandra “Are you ready for this? There’s still time, you know. I volunteer to help you run.” I stated, grinning despite my mother’s unamused frown and my Aunt’s chuckle as she raised her emptied champagne glass to me. “I’m fine, I promise. I’m ready for this.” Selene declared, a serene smile on her lips despite the anxiety wedged deep in her eyes. She looked absolutely radiant in her well-fitting silk, spaghetti strapped wedding gown that flowed smoothly down to the floor with a small train. Her cathedral veil trailed after her, the lace of it complimenting her silk gown perfectly. Her make up was light, consisting of nude coloured lipstick, mascara laden lashes and winged eye liner. “I know we fight a lot but I do hope you know how much I love your annoying ass. If you need me, all you have to do is call me and I’ll be there. We are sisters and our bond can’t ever be broken, no matter what.” I declared, granting my veiled sister a genuine smile and re
*** Upper East Side, New York Alessandra Walk the other way, Alessa. Stop following him. Stop going towards a man you know is not good for you. He is Danger incarnate. A mystery that should not be unfolded. But I wanted to-no- needed to know more. I needed to understand this deep sated fascination that I had for him and the impact he had left on me that one night. The corridor was narrow but decorated with the usual anecdotes of wealth. This was a grand Hotel, one owned by the Cosa Nostra, ie, Papa. This was his gift to the Happy couple that was supposed to blind everyone, shield them from the glaring fact that Papa had sold his daughter for power. The thought made me nauseous. The sound of a woman’s moan had me pausing mid step, my mind reeling from the implications of that singular sound. Warning bells sounded within me and yet my feet continue to move towards the source. Stop being a basic white girl, Alessa. Walk away. The red flags are ALL there. Nothing my sub conscious
Upper East Side, New York Alessandra Why are you standing here, in the dark, with a man you barely know with your entire family in the other room? It was dangerous, exciting and a whole other host of emotions. I could not walk away, not when my hand still tingles from where he’d held me. I eyed his cigarette. It looked small, harmless in his hand. I had never imagined what it would look like in mine but I was curious. He must have noticed my expression for he pulled the cigarette out of his lips and handed it to me. Touching a man in certain ways had been a foreign notion to me. We were shielded, protected from the ‘claws of men who would tarnish not only our reputation but our precious virginity’ which was a sell point for our Papa. Hand holding and cigarette sharing was blasphemy in my world. I took the cigarette from him and he closely watched me as I brought it to my lips and inhaled. The coughing came instantaneously, chest and throat burning whilst my eyes watered. Dark