Chapter 3

Olivia’s P.OV

A whole month passed of not seeing Dominic, or even hearing from him. I kept my ringer at the loudest its ever been, in anticipation of his calls. But none came. Which made me go through life, as grumpy as a grandpa. And not knowing exactly what to do about it.

I was elated when his driver brought me home, after the first and only evening we spent together. I thought it meant the beginning of many similar occasions, but boy, was I wrong!

“Are you okay?” Stacey, my modelling agent asked as I babied my water bottle after another mundane commercial photo shoot.

“I’m sulking, aren’t I?” I knew she could tell, so I didn’t bother trying to throw her off.

“Like, big time.” She chuckled. “Good thing you’re doing it after I’ve made money off of you,” she teased, referring to the successful shoot we had just had.

“At least I can keep my sulking hobby up, and still be able to perfectly do my job.” I joked and she agreeingly laughed.

“So, what seems to be bothering my little flower?” Her referring to me as a flower, made my eyes to snap up instantly. As it reminded me of Dominic and his Rose jokes.

“Flower?” I slightly frowned in her direction.

“We just did a lilac scent commercial, didn’t we?”

She was referring to our perfume advert and here I thought it had something to do with the man who couldn’t care less about keeping in touch after a dinner we shared, four weeks ago. Damn it! How easily, he took over most areas of my life. Not a day passed by without him consuming every single one of my thoughts.

“Yeah, right, right, of course.” I slightly shook my head, in hopes of momentarily kicking out my gangster crush out of my mind.

“Boy trouble?” She knowingly smiled, as she asked.

“Try man,” I giggled. Trying to conjure up an image of Dominic as a boy in my head, but failed to. “It’s complicated, really.” I sighed.

“How complicated?” Stacey settled in a chair next to mine, as we both watched the photographers folding their equipment- at the far end of the hall and preparing to leave.

“The short version of it is that, he saved my life in some way. My foolish heart fell hard for the man. We had dinner at his place once, he had reasons to believe that he didn’t fit in my lifestyle and neither did I in his, and that’s the last time I heard from him.” I unraveled. Stacey was my boss, in every sense of the word. She got me modelling gigs and ensured that my brand stayed relevant and marketable. But our relationship has always stayed strictly employer and employee, in all the three months that I had known and worked for her.

“He’s a crush then,” she mused. “Oh, how I miss the days of pining and daydreaming over someone.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that long ago,” I laughed. Amused by how she made it sound like she was all weathered and gray. When she was just in her late thirties.

“True,” she joined in on the laughter. “And no, this isn’t about me young lady. Why haven’t you called him?”

“After he specifically spelled it out that he didn’t want me in his life? How would that go exactly?” I morosely asked and sighed.

“Did you two connect over dinner?” She checked and I nodded.

“Then don’t take his words to heart,” she supplied. “Call that young man, and see if he’s available. If he is, don’t waste any time with telling him how you feel. Getting it out like that, will bring you more relief than you think.”

“Even if he rejects me again?” I didn’t think that would the right thing to do, but Stacey seemed to have a different point of view.

“Even if,” she said. “You’ll cry about it at first, but you’ll eventually find the strength to move on from the idea of him and you together.”

“What makes you think initiating this would be the right call?” I couldn’t help but ask. Her being more than ten years older than me, meant that she had more relationship experience under her belt than me. And therefore had loads of insight to share on the matter.

“Well, firstly, its what we women in the twenty first century do now. We don’t wait for the man to call first, make the plans or the first move. Because we’re fully capable of doing so ourselves,” she stated matter of factually. “Secondly, in my personal experiences, I found that the men who gave mixed signals were not always uninterested. But afraid.”

“I think it would be ridiculous of him to be afraid of me,” I blurted out. Surely a man so in control and sure of himself, wouldn’t fear being with someone so inexperienced, intimidated and coy like myself.

“It wouldn’t be you he’s afraid of, darling.” Stacey stood and I followed suit. The men were done gathering their things, and it was time for all of us to call it a day. “It would be the side of him that you bring out. Probably a side he prefers to keep hidden and suppressed. Or even a fear of allowing anyone to get that close to him.”

A fear of bringing me into his dangerous life, his words suddenly came back to the surface of my memory. That must be it!

“And that’s a wrap!” Max announced as we approached them. “Wanna hit the streets, Strongkins?” He asked, flirtatiously winking in my direction.

“Not tonight, Max. I’m kinda beat,” I said to him the very same excuse I’ve been giving him for the past three months. He’s probably the right kind of man for me to be with. Soft spoken, caring and present. Safe too, my subconscious added. But he didn’t have the effect that Dominic had on me. I guess at the end of the day, we all want what we can’t have.

“I like a girl who doesn’t mix business with pleasure,” Stacey teased and we all laughed.

“Oh come on, you’re seriously hurting my chances with her here, boss lady.” Max playfully whined, adding to our whole humorous atmosphere.

“Thanks for the talk, Stace.” I said before walking away. “You guys have a great weekend.”

I took the long way home, trying to avoid imprisoning myself to the walls of my studio apartment, for longer than I had to.

My cell phone beeped and I lazily took it out of my tote bag.

‘Seeing your beautiful face on billboards across New York, is the favorite part of my everyday.’- D.

A smile broadened on my face, the very second I read the text. Then I turned gloomy, just as quick. He didn’t deserve a response from me, I decided as I shoved the phone back and headed home.

An entire weekend passed without hearing more from him. I felt incredibly proud of myself for not giving in to his little game, despite reading his texts several times per minute. Until he gave me a call on Monday morning.

“Where are you?” Were the first words to fly out of his mouth.

“Who wants to know?” I cheekily responded.

“God, I’ve missed hearing that voice.” He sighed heavily, sending shivers up my spine.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” I bitingly remarked.

“You’re upset again,” he noted. “Let me see you, so that I can perhaps remedy that.”

“I’m afraid I can’t keep doing this,” even I could hear the sadness in my tone.

“You don’t get to claim me like you did, then walk away like this.” He muttered and I remained silent.

As I recalled how I had told him that he’d always be mine, when I last saw him.

“I’m home,” I finally said. In hopes that if I saw him again, he could maybe offer me some answers to all the questions that I had. But most importantly, maybe a chance to talk about a way forward for us would avail itself.

“Not working today?” He softly asked.

“That’s the perk of working in show business, I guess.” I joked and he chuckled. “We don’t really conform to the usual 9 to 5.”

“Well, I’m not in show business, but I guess I have that in common with you today.” He said. And I smiled at the idea of him not working. It was hard to imagine a man like him; who always had his guard up, taking some time off to unwind. But I guess even gangsters and criminals, need the rest.

“I’m outside your building, buzz me in.” He informed and hung up. I was startled by the discovery. My hair was thrown in a messy bun, I was in an oversized sweatshirt and lounge pants. But I realized that I didn’t have the time to do anything about my appearance, so I jumped from the couch to floor and focused on buzzing him in.

“I’m a mess,” I began to mutter when I opened my door for him. But found that I couldn't get really far, with that line of thought.

“I’ll take you however I can get you,” he exhaustively murmured and unexpectedly planted a firm kiss on my unsuspecting lips- catching me completely off guard.

I heard moan escaping my mouth when he gently pushed me against the nearest wall, and kissed me almost into a coma.

“Did I take things too far?” Even he appeared freaked out by how wildly we were kissing. How our clothes coming off, seemed to be a very much possible and near step too.

“No,” I chuckled and blushed. “But do warn me next time.”

“About me coming over or the kissing you part?” He slightly frowned in confusion.

“Both would be best,” I laughed lightly and softly smoothed the worry lines on his forehead.

“You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?” I couldn’t help but ask, when I saw the dark circles under his eyes.

“It’s hard to sleep when your demons are constantly chasing you,” he sighed deeply.

I grabbed his hand and led him to my small couch.

“Sit,” I gently commanded and he complied. I silently held him close to my chest; which made him slightly resist at first, before slowly easing into it. Almost as if he was too scared of having his guard down around anyone. Or even the idea of being held.

“I had so much to say to you, or at least I thought so.” I softly laughed at myself. “But now that you’re here, I’m out of words.”

“Is that a good or bad thing?” He cluelessly looked into my eyes, warming me all the way to my toes.

“I’m not quite sure,” I earnestly shrugged. “I have almost non existent experience when it comes to relationships. Not that I’m saying this is a relationship, of course. I just meant that-”

“Liv, calm down.” He chuckled as he cut me off. “I have non existent experience when it comes to relationships too, so I totally get what you’re saying.”

“How come?” I knew asking him too many questions, too soon might scare him away- but I took my chances. A bomb had just been dropped on my lap and I had to investigate.

“Well, I guess I’ve always stuck with sexual and strictly transactional relationships, my whole life. To a point where exploring something of a different nature wasn’t an option.” He spoke each word with hesitation, as if not sure how much he could exactly trust me with the information.

“Well, since we’re exchanging secrets, I may as well tell you that I’ve never had sex before.” I shyly shared, not knowing really why. Which I instantly regretted when he immediately sat up and moved away from me, as if I had just told him that I had an actual bomb strapped across my chest.

“Oh,” he softly said. And for some reason, we both just started laughing at how he had reacted to the news.

“What else about you, can you tell me?” He asked, as soon as silence fell after our laughter.

“No matter how much you try to push me away again, you won’t be succeeding.” I softly but confidently told him, as it were a fact written somewhere. “We’re in each other’s lives now, and that’s just a reality that you’ll have to deal with.”