The Past

{5 years ago}

My bedroom window blew open, startling me awake and out of my dreams. It had been a good dream, too. It was about a young mermaid who kept splashing her friend, the dolphin. They were having a good time before I had to go and wake up. Huffing at this annoying circumstance, I jumped out of bed and ran straight to the window so that I could close it. The longer it stayed open, the more likely I was to catch a cold during this time of year, the middle of winter.

Here in Aspen, Colorado, the temperature hardly reached above the 70s. Since it was winter, those temperatures dropped to the 30s and below. Though I grew up here my entire life, I was still not used to it. After closing the window and making sure I locked it this time, I went back to bed and laid down. I tucked myself in, rolled to my side, curled my arms under the pillow below my head, and closed my eyes. Luckily, the mermaid waited for me to return, and she started to splash her dolphin friend again.

During my dreams, I heard a distant loud crashing sound. It sounded like something smacked into a hard surface, rattling the walls. That didn’t make much sense considering I was under the sea with the little mermaid and her dolphin. I looked at her, asking a question through our made-up sign language. She shook her head, splashing the dolphin again and then me. Giggling, I started to join in on her silly water games before another loud sound woke me back up in my bed. This one was too real for me to ignore and pretend like it didn’t happen. It was a very shrill scream, like someone getting tortured.

I sat up and jumped out of bed, tossing my blankets onto the floor as I ran out of my room and straight to my Momma’s, the only other person in this house. She had tucked me into bed before we both went to sleep; that was the last I heard from her. When I reached her door, I saw it cracked open but couldn’t see anything inside. Her bedside lamp was not on, and that was strange for her. She knew I was scared of the dark and always left it on for me. That way, I wouldn’t ever be afraid to come to her if I needed to. 

“Momma?” I called out, cringing at my voice’s desperate and childish sound. If there were someone dangerous inside the house, they wouldn’t be frightened of the little girl with the begging voice. It would probably make them more excited to rob or kill us, right? Isn’t that something criminals enjoy? Terrifying the innocent kids and traumatising them for life.

I nearly jumped out of my skin the moment I heard her reply. “MERRYN, RUN! GET OUT OF HERE. GO!” She screamed from somewhere inside her room.

“Momma, where are you?” I said back, pushing the door open and scanning the pitch-black room. 

There wasn’t any time to let my fear control me. I had to be bigger than it. To overcome it so that I could try and save my Momma. Running into her room, I found her sprawled out on the floor beside her bed. I could see a pile of blood pooled around her. A gasp left me as I slid onto my knees, placed her head on my lap, and stroked her matted hair. Tears filled my eyes as my throat tried to hold back a gag from the strong scent of iron and rust. Even the feel of her blood soaking through my pajamas made me want to vomit.

Her eyelids fluttered as she blinked at me, making a choked sound come out of her throat. A few tears slid down her cheeks, and I knew she was upset I hadn’t listened to her words. “Mer-ryn, no.”

“Momma? Wha-what happened? What happened to y-you?” I sobbed, scanning the length of her body as I inspected the damage. It looked awful, and I couldn’t help but choke back a strangled sound of despair.

She shook her head, reaching up with her shaking hands to touch my face. “Y…you need to g-go, Merryn. Plea-please, my darling. Leave m-me.” She begged.

“No! I won’t.” I refused, shaking my head at her. “I’m not leaving you. Forever and always, we promised each other. Remember?”

When I was two years old and learning to speak, we recited this mantra every night. Momma would say ‘forever and,’ and I would say ‘always.’ It was our thing, and we’d always mean it. My thick tears splashed her forehead as we cried together. My hands petted her golden-blonde hair while her hands stroked my cheek.

I looked down at her blood-soaked body, taking a full assessment of her injuries. There were too many wounds to count. Too much blood poured out for me to see where one began and another ended. She had claw marks, bite marks, scratches, cuts, and many bruises. The one nasty bite mark on her stomach was the worst. It gushed out so much blood, and I knew what I had to do to help her.

She watched me pull off my pajama top and roll it into a ball before I pressed it against her stomach wound. Pride blossomed in her glistening teary eyes. It always made her proud when I remembered the things she taught me. Take now, for instance. She once told me that if I encountered a person bleeding from an injury, I could help them by pressing firmly against the wound to slow the bleeding. I hoped her lessons worked in our favor today. I couldn’t lose her; she is all I’ve ever had.

“Merryn, lis…listen,” Momma said, her gaze pleading with mine. I shook my head at her, but she ignored me, nodding her head back. “I-I’m so sorry, little bit,” she cried, reaching up to grasp my hands. “it’s my…my time to g-go. Now, please, r-run.”

“No, Momma! I need you. You can’t go. Not yet. I’m not ready!” I screamed, shaking her shoulders as her eyes began to close.

Unfortunately, it was already too late. The honey color of Momma’s eyes was gone, her tan skin was ghostly white, her mouth left open, and her eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. I wailed out loud, pulling her lifeless body against my chest. The place where her love once blossomed was left empty, leaving me with a gaping hole inside my chest. I couldn’t stop screaming. My lungs burned from lack of air, and my eyes burned for lack of tears. My heart shattered inside my chest, and fragments of my broken heart sliced me open on the inside.

I screamed louder and louder, squeezing her body tight against mine as I kept shaking my head. I refused to let go of her, praying for a miracle that she’d somehow come back to life. Yet, my prayers fell on deaf ears because the Goddess granted me no wishes tonight. Momma kept staring at the ceiling with empty, soulless eyes. Until I finally pushed them closed so that she could rest. 

My eyes never left her face. My heart was too broken for me to let go of her. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I did. I had never seen a dead person before. Do they vanish into thin air? Will she evaporate like water? Does Heaven genuinely exist, and will we see each other again in the afterlife? Usually, Momma answered these questions for me, but she wasn’t here to listen to me anymore. 

An hour or maybe only minutes had passed, but something scratched across the floor on the other side of the room. Turning my gaze toward the sound, I searched the dark for the threat. Suddenly, a young woman appeared from the shadows. She wore a long white gown, covered in dark stains, and had snow-white skin. Her long, ink-black hair swished against the ground as she peered at me with glowing yellow eyes. I watched her as a cat-like smile stretched her thin lips, causing goosebumps to cover my arms.

“Hello, little one.” She spoke, her strangely beautiful voice causing me to flinch. 

I couldn’t help but stare at her. She looked like a porcelain doll, and the way she moved, floating toward me, reminded me of a marionette. Her yellow eyes were swallowed by large black circles, making her look like an excited cat. She watched me with childish curiosity as I studied her right back.

“Who—who are you?” I asked her, sniffling.

“I am Sirella,” she answered, smiling at me. ^and you are Merryn!^ Her strange voice echoed inside my head.

“H-how do you know my name? And how d-did you do that?” I questioned her, widening my eyes.

Sirella stopped a few feet away, crouching down on her knees before crawling the rest of the way to me. Then, she reached out toward my face and touched my cheek. When she pulled her hand back, I caught sight of a few tears glistening on her fingertips like tiny diamonds. She brought her fingers to her lips and licked my tears off them.

Before I could react to her weird action, she spoke up. “You are lonely… A lost soul, like me.”

I frowned at her, shaking my head. I had no idea how to feel about this woman. She was something out of this world. “Are you… are you like me? A human, I mean?” I wondered.

Sirella shook her head before nodding. “I am like you, but… no. I am not human,” she answered, giggling at me as the black parts of her eyes got bigger. ^Though, you are not human either, Merryn.^

Deciding that this woman was crazy, I shook my head and ignored her telekinetic statement. Hugging my mother’s corpse against my chest, I asked Sirella the question most on my mind. “Did you… did you do this to my Momma?”

“Well… I,” Sirella started, glancing at my mother’s corpse before looking back at me. “I couldn’t help myself.” She pouted before an odd grin stretched her lips.

My eyes widened in fright at her confession. I repeated her sentence three times to ensure I heard her right. Then, a loud growl escaped my throat. It tumbled and vibrated through my chest in a mighty roar, causing Sirella to move a few steps back.

“Don’t come any closer,” I ordered. Sirella frowned before moving toward me again until another loud growl came out of my throat, “I SAID, STAY BACK!”

Sirella flinched before letting out a whining sound. “Please, I am still so hungry.” She begged, but I shook my head and crawled over my Momma to shield her body.

Sirella and I stared at each other, trying to figure out individual survival plans. She appeared to be starving, her pasty skin shriveling around her thin bones. And I was simply trying to make it out of this house without becoming food. I also wished to get my Momma out so I could put her to proper rest. Neither of us was willing to give in to the other’s wishes. I wouldn’t let her eat my Momma, and she wouldn’t find food elsewhere.

Suddenly, she made a loud screeching sound that sent my body soaring backward across the room. I slammed into the wall behind me, unable to move as a mighty wind held me in place. She looked like a screaming banshee with her inky hair flying around her head and her mouth open in a big O-shape as she screeched. When she stopped making that shrill sound, I fell onto the floor with a thud and hurried to my feet.

Her gaping black eyes never left my face. It seemed my mother was no longer her next meal. Instead, she now wished to eat me. The realization of this had me running toward the exit. Before I could escape, she leaped on top of me and knocked me onto my stomach. The wind rushed out of my lungs, leaving me breathless momentarily as she flipped me onto my back and stared down at my face.

I shook my head, tears pouring down my face. “Please, n-no! Please, I don’t want to die.” I cried, begging her.

Sirella ignored me, no longer looking like the young woman. Her face had shrilled up and shrunk in to form some kind of beak. I watched helplessly as sharp talons grew out from her cuticles. She locked my arms to my sides, pinning me with her powerful thighs. Then she sliced open my right thigh with those deadly talons, drawing a scream from my lips.

I felt nothing but fiery hot pain soar through my leg. She dug her deadly nails deep into my flesh, twisting them around until I couldn’t stop my body from writing beneath her. I had never felt such pain in my entire life. It was like being ripped apart by a bloodthirsty bird. Thrashing and bucking my hips, I tried to knock her off me. She pulled out her nails before pushing my hips back down and cutting them into my skin. More pain seized me, loud piercing screams coming out of my mouth. I could feel hot blood oozing down my leg.

“Get off me! GET OFF!” I hollered, thrashing harder under her. “SOMEONE, PLEASE, HELP ME!”

It didn’t matter how much I begged because we both knew another soul wasn’t around. My house was in the woods, far away from nearby towns. Sirella grinned like the Cheshire Cat, eyeballing the fresh wound she gave me. She licked her lips before sliding down my body until her face lined up with the bleeding wound.

“Sirella, NO! Please no. Oh, Goddess, NO!” I begged, squirming under her firm body. 

“Shh. There, there, little one.” Sirella cooed me, giving me a wry smile. “It’ll be over soon. I promise.”

I watched her as she lowered her gaze to my thigh. The black parts of her eyes shrank back up to reveal the eerie yellow color. I waited until her mouth was close enough to feel her breath on my skin. Then, when she leaned down to taste my blood, I jerked up my knee into her chin. Her head knocked back from the force of my blow, teeth clattering together as she let out a scream of pain. I bucked her off before crawling to the door as fast as I could.

She screamed outrageously, standing up to her feet and sprinting after me. “No!” I yelled as her arms came around my waist and jerked me backward. I flailed out my arms, elbowing her in the ribs.

“You little bitch!” Sirella wheezed, releasing me as her arms wrapped around her stomach. I rolled over onto my back and used my left leg to kick her in the kneecap. The sound of bones crunching under my foot and her loud cry of pain echoed around the room.

Her legs buckled, causing her to fall onto the floor with a loud thud. She threw out her arms, reaching to grab my ankle as I crawled away. Luckily, this time I was faster and managed to dodge her grasp. Pulling myself up to my feet, I turned and sprinted out the door, limping down the hallway to the stairs.

While hobbling down the staircase, tears flowed down my face as I begged for a miracle. I needed one if I was going to get out of this situation alive. My foot slipped on the second to last step, causing me to trip and fall, cracking my knees against the tile floor. I bit back a scream, pulled myself back up, and limped to the main entrance.

When I reached it, I heard Sirella throw open my mother’s door and come chasing after me. I pulled the front door open, going to take a step outside until my entire body slammed into a brick wall. I cried out, stumbling backward and falling toward the ground. Yet, before falling, the division moved and caught me in its grasp. I was pulled to my feet, feeling the world whirl around me.

“Che due coglioni!” A deep, masculine voice growled in front of me, speaking in a foreign language.

I couldn’t see through my thick fog of dizziness, but I felt around and gripped the fabric covering his chest. “Pl-plea…please help m-me!” I begged, clinging onto him as I cried.

The man looked down at my face; his eyes widened as he took notice of my messy, banged-up appearance. Footsteps echoed off the walls as Sirella rushed down the hallway toward the steps. Both our eyes looked toward the staircase before we met gazes again. “Can you run?” He asked, looking down at my injured leg. 

“I-I don’t know. I can t-try.” I replied, shivering as the cold air from outside blew against my exposed skin. The winter chill helped to soothe my burning and throbbing wound, but only a little.

His eyebrows pulled together in thought before he glanced back and pointed at my mother’s parked car. “Go hide in there; I will deal with the bruxa.”

I shook my head, letting out a strangled, desperate sound. “P-please. I don’t want to be alone.”

“You won’t, angioletta.” (little angel) The man said, taking ahold of my hand and giving it a quick squeeze. “I will come to you as soon as I get rid of that beast. Now, go. Hurry before it sees you again.” He urged.

I sniffled and nodded my head, stepping around him as I ran over to the car with a limp. Tears raced down my cheeks as I yanked the door open and slid into the backseat. I pulled the door closed and then looked down at my injury. Another cry left my lips as I saw just how bad it was. I pressed my hand into the deep gash to slow the bleeding as I bit back a scream of pain. Now that I felt safe, my adrenaline was wearing off, and the pain worsened.

Sometime later, the car door flew back open as I gasped in fright, squeezing my eyes shut. “N-no!” I yelled.

“Hey, hey… shhh, angioletta. I won’t hurt you. I’m here to help.” The man cooed, sliding into the seat next to me. Peeling my eyes back open, I stared at him with an uncertain gaze.

“H-how can I trust y…you? I don’t even know you.” I asked, hiccuping.

He closed the door behind him, scooting closer to me before reaching out his hand. “I understand you are scared, but I promise I won’t hurt you. Let me help you, please?”

I scanned his appearance and saw that he had one of my Momma’s small first-aid kits gripped in his other fist. He seemed genuine in his concern for helping me. After deciding that he was my best option at the moment, I placed my hand in his. His skin felt warm and tingly in mine, making me shiver. After giving me a gentle handshake, he released my grip. Then, his eyes looked down at my thigh, where I had my other hand pressed against the wound to stop the bleeding. Slowly, I removed my hand, exposing the gash to his eyes.

He tried to smile, but I could see his throat bob up and down with a quick swallow. “It’s bad, huh?” I asked, looking into his jade green eyes. 

“Your wound? No! This is nothing.” He lied, offering me a silly smile to try and lighten the mood. 

I placed my hand back over the injury and leaned back against the closed door, eyes feeling heavy as they fluttered closed. “It’s okay. I don’t feel it much anymore.”

Suddenly, the man leaned over me and shook my shoulders, jolting me awake. “Hey, no! Eyes open, angioletta. Look at me!” He ordered.

I blinked up at him, offering a small smile. “Sorry, I’m just so sleepy.”

“Then let me distract you. Okay?” He asked. I didn’t know what he meant, but I nodded anyway. “How old are you?” While he spoke, he reached down and pulled off his shirt, exposing his tanned skin, ripped chest, and abdominal display.

Even as I fought to stay awake, I couldn’t help but feel bashful at the sight of his bare chest. “13, in a few weeks,” I answered, watching as he bit down on the fabric and tore a strip off it. “What are you doing?”

“You are almost a teenager. That is exciting!” He grinned at me before gesturing to my leg. “I will make a tourniquet above the wound to stop the bleeding. Then I will stitch the wound. May I?” He requested, and I gave a slight nod. “This might hurt, but I promise to be gentle. Okay?” 

“Okay,” I mumbled, watching him.

He leaned between the front seats and dug through the center console, searching for something. After finding a wooden pencil, he held it up for me to see. “Look at me, angioletta.” He ordered, scanning my face as I met his intense gaze. “If the pain becomes too much, let me know. Okay?”

Again, I nodded my head and mumbled my approval. He flashed a bright smile at me, placing the back of my thigh over his leg. Then, he slid the fabric around the back of my leg above the wound and adjusted the tourniquet. He slowly twisted the pencil around, tightening it around my leg. The pain began to pulse through my thigh as I watched blood gush out before it started to slow down to a very little flow. There was a bit of throbbing as my leg began to numb; otherwise, it wasn’t unbearable.

“Remember what I told you?” He asked.

Oddly, I heard my mother’s voice floating through my mind like a distant memory. ^Remember what I told you, little bit? Forever and always, I’ll be here for you.^

I felt something warm wrap around my shoulders, shaking me awake and out of my cloudy mind. “No. Don’t you fall asleep on me, gattina!” The man growled, staring at me with a look of desperation.

“I am sorry… I-I’m sorry.” I cried, shaking with sobs.

He shook his head, reaching up to wipe away my tears. “You have nothing to be sorry for, gattina. But I need you to stay awake for me. I can’t have my best patient falling asleep, hm?”

I shook my head, sniffing back my tears as I let out a light chuckle. “You’re right. I won’t sleep just yet. Go ahead.”

“Good girl.” He smiled at me before opening up the first-aid kit and grabbing the stitches.

I waited and watched him as he sterilized the needle with an antiseptic wipe and then hovered the stitches over my wound. I gave him an approving nod and took a deep breath, preparing myself for the pain. The first press of the needle sent a piercing scream out of my lungs, causing me to writhe in his grasp. Even as he held my leg firmly in one grip, I couldn’t help but squirm in pain. My skin was so raw and bruised that I felt each needle puncture.

The pain became blinding, overwhelming, and too intense for me to fight off. My screams died as my eyes closed on their own, and my body became lax. One minute I felt the thread siding around my skin, stitching it back together. Next, I was floating in an endless sea of nothingness. Time seemed to be nonexistent in this empty, quiet ocean. The world and everyone in it was lost somewhere that wasn’t here. 

I didn’t wake up until a bright light flashed through my eyelids. Sitting up, I looked around and noticed my body curled up on the living room couch with a throw blanket draped over me. The light flashed my eyes again, and I wiped away the sleep from my eyelids before spotting the multiple police officers around the room. Among the crowd of uniformed men, there was one familiar face. Our gazes locked onto each other, and he immediately ran to my side, pushing through the men.

“Meri, what the hell happened here?! Are you okay?!” Samael, my godfather, questioned me. His eyes widened with worry as he scooped me up into his arms, pulling me against his chest.

All of my memories from the past 24 hours crashed into me at once. A gasp of pain left my lips as I felt her death a second time, crushing my heart in its painful grasp. “She... she’s dead. I couldn’t save her. She’s d-dead.” I sobbed, gripping onto Samael as if he were my lifeline.

“Hey, amada mi. Shh, shh. You are safe. I am here now.” (my beloved) Samael cooed in my ear, stroking my hair. “I’m not going to leave you, Meri. Not ever again.”