"Actions as a result of hatred give us a temporary satisfaction. But, It is better if we can be patient enough to watch the person suffering who deserves guilt. Because patience adjusts us to be relieved both physically and mentally."
~SilvaAlexander's POV
Getting set for bed these days has always been a thrill, especially if you've spent the last three to four hours going through your paperwork and approving potential ideas and although just six months pregnant, I feel as though I've been pregnant for a year. I feel out of my body most days and today is one of those days. It began with my alarm failing to wake me up like it usually used to and then to work, and then board meeting, then visiting Julian and having Zander and Havana over to announce their wedding date. Yes, this pregnancy is putting me brought hell but I'm not some fucking fragile egg.
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"Love is giving up control. It's surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two-love and controlling power over the other person-are mutually exclusive."~Rob BellAfter a very long while, Kemi returns, "My husband is worried something had happened to me, I told him I was coming to the hospital when I left home, but I never called to tell him I arrived safely." She walks back to where we are and takes her seat beside Lauren.Kemi commitment to her patients is outstanding and seeing that she who only met Rogue a few weeks ago was willing to go out of her way for him makes me feel horrible and if she wasn't married, she would be the right woman for him. Pretty, smart, cheerful and with a big heart and her physical attributes are not yet included.I haven't known Kemi for too long, but I can tell she
"If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all the desires within us to manipulate the relationship."~ Rob Bell.Kemi and Vivian are silent for a while and the whole waiting room now being occupied by the four of us is gravely silent, as no one others a word.Vivian after staying still for so long turns to look at me, "He's just hurt and angry."She doesn't have to make excuses for his outburst, I completely understand why he said what he said.My eyes are tired from shedding so many tears that I cannot even cry anymore. The words he says are crude and difficult to accept, but they are the truth and hearing how broken Rogue was with his best friend makes me feel like a bigger villain than I thought I was."He's right though, all of this is my fault." I weakly admit, fidgetting with my fingers. "I
"Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair."~AnonymousMoments pass as we sat quietly, my mind bare of any thought just silent and my hands keeps at my palm and I begin to spell out Rogue on my palm, over and over and I don't know how many minutes pass as I subconsciously do this, but I feel Lare's hand on mine and I snap back into reality..."Rogue and I met while we were in the University. It was at this stupid party and I wanted to belong so bad that they asked me to smoke a joint and I had no idea it was heroin, he stopped me from taking it and when I snapped at him for getting into what wasn't any of his business, he beat the shit out of me and eventually knocked me out. When I woke up, I was in the hospital and he told me he was saving m
"Words have energy and power withthe ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble."~AnonymousI watch them walk away and I am pulled back when a voice beside me begins to speak, "It's so good to see you, Alex." Vincent says and I turn my gaze to him, finally taking real notice of the old man for the first time since I came into the waiting room with Lare. He's still in his nightwear, denoting he must have had little to no time to change after getting the voicemail about Rogue's accident. He is raring full beards now and though it's white, it goes with his hair and makes him look pretty matured and it helps brings out his blue eyes which is a striking resemblance with Rogue. "How's the baby?" He asks calmly, as his eyes drop to my big bumpI smile at him, "He's good.""Forgive me fo
"Love is blind and love can be foolish. Our heart doesn't always love the right people at the right time. Sometimes we hurt the ones that love us the most and sometimes we love the ones that don't deserve our love at all."~AnonymousZander and Julian have been silent and although Julian is still in his spot, Zander has been pacing for the last five minutes and none of them has spoken since the doctor left. And the elephant in the room keeps getting bigger and bigger till I cannot take it anymore."Oh come on, if there's something you want to say, say it to me, I'm a big girl and I can take it."Zander stops pacing and places his hand on his hip, his eyes in no way happy with me, "What you did was reckless and foolish, Alex and I can't believe you don't even see any of that! You came in here in the middle of the night, did you ever stop to think of the many dangers t
"The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting."~Andy Warhol"I need to call Ana, you sure you're okay?" He asks carefully looking down at me."Yeah sure, go do your thing." I encourage."Okay." He says, before leaving the room.I nod and my eyes drop down to the tapes before me which have numbers from one to five and I pick the one with the number 1 written on it and insert it into the tape player.I unseal the earpiece and plug it into the small hole on the tape recorder and taking in a deep breath, I press play on the button.The first voice I hear is the voice of Kemi and she's saying, "Opening up about your bad past will help you heal faster and move on to having a healthier relationship. Like you told me, your friend suggested therapy because of your failed relationship and wedding and I think that mi
The loud ring of my alarm snaps my eyes open to see that it is six a.m. already and lazily reaching over to the alarm. Ten more minutes, I tell myself before covering my head with the pillow.A loud bang comes to my door and I immediately open up my eyes."Alex, are you sleeping?""I'm up!" I announce sharply before pulling myself to sit down and I'll be lying if I said it was so easy. "What do you want?" I ask."Havana said she is yet to see you." He answers and I turn to the alarm clock on the lampstand and I see its thirty minutes past seven.Shit! I'm too late!What was I thinking?! Trying to get an extra ten minutes of sleep has never gone down well for anyone!"Tell her I'll be right there," I say, dragging my slightly heavy self up from the bed."Alright." Comes his sceptic reply after a moment of silence.I strip mysel
"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you."~Nicolas Sparks"I'm nervous as hell, Alex!" Ava blurts out as soon as the door to the seat opens and I take her hands and realise that they are shivering terribly.I squeeze down slowly on her hand and she looks at me, "You will be fine, it's your day and no one can take it away from you. You're going to walk in through those doors and you're going to see the man you love with all your heart, the man that can't wait to have you as his wife and life partner and together you both will begin a beautiful journey and make beautiful memories as you go on."She squeezes back on my hand, "Thanks a lot, Alex, you're one of the best things that ever happened to me, I mean it." She
"Marriage is the highest state of friendship. If happy, it lessens our cares by dividing them, at the same time that it doubles our pleasures by mutual participation."~Samuel RichardsonThree weeks later"How much longer do I have to sit still?" Alex asks impatiently as Martha and George try to get her hair into a perfect curl as if that was even possible. Her hair is curly there's no such thing as perfect curl, at least not for her hair. She remembers, Sarah, her mom constantly having to battle with her hair every day of school when she was younger. It was painful almost every time she touched it, but she had to endure it if she wanted to look neat and pretty for school. As she got older the curls lessened and the pain she usually felt as a child left— or maybe she just got used to it.Her hair has never been the soft and perfect looking one, it was tou
"The pleasure of love is in loving; we are happier in the passion we feel than in the passion we inspire."~François de la RochefoucauldShe feels his touch over her lower lips down, her neck and further down her chest and his fingers find her nipples, delicately strumming it, making her moan and arches her pelvis up, silently telling him where her needs for him is much, but he pushes her back down on the bed and continues his torture on her nipple and she moans out.He watches as her lips part and her tongue lifts between them as she moans out and he knows she's loving being touched, he didn't want to ask anything, he wanted her to communicate to him what she was feeling like he had instructed her earlier.He moves to the other nipple and he stro
"When a woman submits to a man, it's the most precious gift she can give. Herself. Unreservedly. The man has to respect and honor that gift above all else. Even if he respects nothing else in the world, he must respect the woman in his care. It's his sworn duty to protect, honor and cherish his submissive. To take care of her and provide a safe haven. Someone who would put his own needs above his woman's is no man."~Maya BanksThey step towards their bed and Rogue tilts her head up and snakes his tongue into her delicious mouth, tasting the vanilla flavour of the ice cream she had before they left the restaurant and that mixed with the taste of her mouth drives him insane. He pushes her against the close by window and he takes his time to worship his mouth with his lips as well as her face.
"I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me." ~Tallulah Bankhead"Do you miss our scenes?" Rogue suddenly asks midway into their meal and Alex almosts chokes on the food in her mouth as a result of how blunt and unexpected his approach was."Rogue...""I'm sorry if this is taking you by surprise, one of the things about BDSM is talking and I want to know what your opinion is on us resuming our scenes after so long.""Can we have this talk later?" She asks with awkwardness voice and her eyes don't lie.He looks around left and right, "No, there is nothing wrong with talking about it now, no one i
"A marriage is a like a house. When a light bulb goes out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the light bulb."~Happy Wives ClubThird POVA week laterAlex is at the balcony staring at the stars when she hears the door closing and she turns around and sees Rogue step into the bedroom, he's been out working late again and though she has nothing against him, the fact that tomorrow is the day they both go shopping for what they will need for their wedding makes her think that he may be too tired for it.
“There is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it. For example, you can acknowledge and learn from mistakes you made, and then move on and refocus on the now. It is called forgiving yourself.”~Eckhart TolleWe enter into the building and as we approach the guard, wearing a black trouser and white short sleeve shirt with a badge he gets up and walks over to us,"Buenos dias (Good morning,)" he greets."Buenos dias (Good morning,)" we respond in unison."Estas buscando a alguien? (Are you looking for someone?)""Si, estoy aquí para ver al director de la prisión, señor Edwardo Fernanda. Dile que Rayyan Martin está aquí para verlo (Yes, I'm here to see the warden of the prison, Mr Edwardo Fernanda. Tell him Rayyan Martin is here to see him.)" I reply and he nods and goes away.I've not used the name R
"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."~Steve MaraboliFlashback"I want to go home, I want my mommy! I don't want to be here anymore!" I cried out as Lorenzo got up from beside my bed to put on his clothes. My whole body was dead from what he just did to me and I could barely even move it. I was numb and aching and I could only speak and that was what I did. Tears rolled down my face and go into my ears."I told you before, your mommy left you and she's not coming back because she doesn't want you, no one wants you. Are you happy hearing that?" Lorenzo sneered wickedly."You're lying, you're a liar, you always have been! I don't believe a word you say!" I refused to believe
These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross"Why are you up?" The sleepy voice of Alex calls out from across the room and I turn away from looking at the stars to see her scrunched up but beautiful face. "Come back to bed!" She calls out to me, raising her hand but it drops immediately from weakness and she lay back down in bed.I find myself smiling and I make my way over to the bed and I sit down beside her. "Why are you still up?" She asks with her level of concern high. "You can't sleep?" She adds."Yes, I couldn't sleep, gatita, but I'll be fine," I confessed to her and take her hand in mine."You won't be fine, sleep is important and without it,
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths."~Elisabeth Kübler-RossFlashbackThree months after meeting Lucas.The door opened and Lucas and I stepped into the hotel room, the trial just ended and I was found not guilty by the judge on the count of first-degree murder of my foster mother Audrey and after the verdict was made, Lucas offered to take me in as my guardian and when the court saw I didn't object they let me go with him. He informed me about the legal process of becoming my guardian and it involves papers works and most importantly my consent. I didn't have so much option or choice in the situation.Lucas