5.

I retrieve my book and tablet from the table and stuff them into my bag as soon as the professor exits the class. It was a long and boring class but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would since it was much more bearable than the ones back in high school.

My body isn’t very good at remembering instructions so I unconsciously let my eyes trail to the back of the class where I find myself staring into an abyss of winter grey eyes. He was already staring at me.

Kian never stopped looking at me during class. I was uncomfortable during the entire lecture because I could feel his eyes watching my every move, making my skin crawl with awareness but I had to force myself to keep my eyes on the professor. It was such a nuisance.

Hani gets on her feet to stretch and lets out a moan of relief as her bones crack with her movements. We have been sitting for three hours so my joints feel tired.

“Lunch, ladies?” Hani asks and I shake my head to refuse her offer. I had planned to sit in my car because I was not supposed to eat till dinner.

“No. I’m still full from the breakfast I ate this morning” I deny politely, loving how the lie sounds natural on my lips.

“That’s not an excuse. You can munch on a fruit or just sit with us so we can talk about anything and everything” Dilora suggests.

“I’m good. I don’t need to eat anything but I’ll go with you though” I tell them even though I don’t want to. Seeing all the food may tempt me to want to eat but I also didn’t want them to keep prying.

“Okay then. Shall we?” Harvey says linking his arms with mine and we all step out of the class.

While we walked to the university’s cafeteria, they filled me in. They had explored the university last week so they knew where almost everything was already. The cafeteria isn’t too far from the hall we had our class.

The cafeteria is a lot bigger than I expected and the food is better than what is served in some restaurants. I feel hungry by just looking at the selection of meals on display but I have to pinch myself to kill that hunger.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat anything?” Harvey asks when we settle in a table far from the door, hidden in a corner, away from prying eyes but looking over the large garden beside the cafeteria which we can see through a large ceiling to floor window so I guess we weren’t really hidden.

“Yes. I feel like my stomach is about to burst because I ate a little too much this morning” I force out with a smile so my story will sound more convincing.

“If you say so” Harvey replies but something in his tone tells me he doesn’t believe me but I don’t want to find out the reason for his doubt.

“I can’t believe that uni is just a glorified high school. I still hate education” Harvey groans suddenly from beside me and the girls nod in agreement.

“For real though. I thought I was going to fall in love with studying when I got into Uni after watching endless edutoks but I hate it even more” Hani agrees and we all burst out laughing.

“I can’t believe we still have four years left. Can we just skip to the end already?” Dilora cries out.

“You guys are way too dramatic. It isn’t that bad” All heads snap to me in shock as if I just said the most catastrophic thing in history. Harvey even dramatically touches my head to check my temperature but I smack his hand away.

“‘Not that bad? I felt like stabbing myself through the lectures” Dilora leans forward to look me in my eyes as though she is making an important point.

“I swear my soul was asleep. I was physically awake but my spirit was back at home, in bed” Harvey deadpans and we all burst out laughing again.

“Speaking of first days and memories, you and Kian, there was electricity static in the room. I bet everyone felt them” Dilora teases and I want to smile but then her face turns serious “kill them”

“Dilora, what’s your deal with these people?”  I ask because I am getting irritated with her constant warnings.

“They are deadly Alora, especially Kian. He is a sociopath. I doubt he has emotions” She presses.

“But how do you know these things? Didn’t we just resume today? And a sociopath is a very big word. You can't just go around calling people sociopaths” Hana asks the same question I want to ask.

“My cousin works for their fathers. I hear enough to know it’s best to stay away if you don’t want to ruin your life” There was fear in her voice and I know she isn’t faking it.

“Fathers?” I ask now confused

“Kian and Laurent are cousins. Their dads are brothers who own Baston Conglomerates. You should know that” Hani answers.

“I know the company but not the family ish,” I tell her.

“Man, that sounds like deep batshit trouble. Maybe it’s best to stay away, Alora” Hani says “At this stage, we can’t allow stains on our record. My dad will kill me” She groans.

During class, I found out that Hani’s father was the South Korean Ambassador to the US and her mom also had a fashion line that was huge in Korea just like mine. Harvey, however, didn’t say anything about his folks and I wasn’t one to probe especially since he looked uncomfortable talking about it.

Suddenly, my body becomes more aware the same minute I catch sight of Kian smoking under one of the trees. Laurent and Mason are talking but he just stands there, listening.

This time, he doesn’t see me so I use the opportunity to feed the starved part of me that still yearns for a good and long look at the boy who looks like sin.

His hand brings the cigarette to his lips and he takes a deep breath before blowing. His hands are rough and large and I can almost imagine them on my skin, gripping, pulling, roaming.

His eyes are dark and soulless as he observes his environment with a boredom that seems almost impossible to muster at will, yet he does.

Everything about him screams run but my body seems to have lost the meaning of that word because all I feel is a strong attraction that keeps pulling me towards him.

“Are you even listening?” Dilora’s voice snaps me back to reality and I realize they are yet to see the source of my distraction so I quickly remove my gaze before they find him.

“Sorry, I was thinking about the things I need to do when I get back home” I answer awkwardly, embarrassed that I was almost caught gawking at him.

“Oh, that means you won’t be able to attend the dinner date with us?” Dilora says, disappointment lacing her tone.

What’s wrong with these girls? Do they only eat? Aren’t they scared of gaining weight? If I ate as much as they did, I would be back to my former self faster than I could grab my phone and run out of this place.

“I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you next time” I pretend to be sad and soon they forget about it and move on to the next topic but I tune them out, my gaze straying again before I can stop it.

I am relieved to find him still standing there and he is yet to notice me so I continue my shameless stalking.

This time, he has a frown on his face as he talks to his cousin and friend. He turns all of a sudden and our eyes meet, making me flinch back in shock.

Kian’s eyes narrow but his eyes betray nothing. His cousin realizes that he no longer has Kian’s attention and turns to me too, his face morphing into surprise.

I should look away but I can’t. His eyes suck me in, like I am drowning in darkness. I feel alive and I hate it. He is bringing out emotions I have never felt even without talking to or touching me.

I hate the way I shiver when he smirks at me. I can’t understand my body’s reaction towards him. The desperation to inch closer to him, to always have his eyes on me.

My curiosity turns to fear. I realize that he is getting to me when I promise no one would. I had not noticed it earlier but he is slowly breaking through wars he should not be able to since we are strangers.

The admission chills me to my bones and my body trembles with this new crack in my walls. I have been too careless. I force myself to snap my gaze down and grab my bags.

“What is it?” Dilora asks when I stand up suddenly, almost knocking my chair back.

“I’m leaving. Something came up” My voice shakes and I make no effort to hide it or try to pretend that it didn’t. I just wanted to get out of this place.

“Just like that?” Harvey asks.

“Yes. See you tomorrow” I tell them before running towards the exit.

“Wait, Alora” Dilora calls but I don't look back. I couldn't.

I run out of the cafeteria like my ass is on fire but it isn’t. it’s my heart.

Did you finally realize how gullible and pathetic you are?

Such a disgusting wimp.

Weren’t you all confident that no one would get through?

I told you before, Alora. You are weak, useless.

I am vulnerable now so the whispers see this as an opportunity to attack and I am too powerless to defend myself.

I need my drugs and I need it now. My legs move as fast as they can towards my car even as they quiver with every step I take.

My hands tremble as I run far away from the boy who is breaking my walls from a distance.