18. Virat
I pulled her by her hand making sure nobody noticed us.
" Ouch, Virat." Esha groaned in pain.
" What's wrong with you?" She shrieked, rubbing her arm. " It hurts."
" Don't know about myself? But there's surely something wrong with you?" I gritted my teeth. Seeing her made me angry.
" What did I do now Virat?" Her tone was exasperated and furious.
" Look at the clothes you are wearing?"
" Just shut up." She pointed a finger at me, her nostrils flaring. " You
19. Flashback" Come out, let's go." Asher stood beside the driver's seat, waiting for me to step out." I'm driving." I told him and he chuckled." Aira, it's past one. I'm sure you don't wanna cancel the plan." He replied curtly, opening the door. " Asher, I haven't drove since a month. Please." I walked out." You know what happened last time you drove?" He shot a look at me." As if you never crashed anytime." I rolled my eyes." But I don't crash every time." He fought back.It was a routine. We'd argue over who'd drive. Asher didn't trust me with the keys at all." It's my car." I heaved, crossing my arms against my chest." You are my girl." He pecked my lips, snatching the keys fro
20. Virat"Sshh, no." I whispered as sweetly as I could but even my most melodious voice seemed to had no effect on her. Hinaaya whimpered nevertheless.I hated children and there was a reason to it, their constant nagging. It was so hard to understand anybody by the sound of their cries and I wasn't God at all.I had no clue what Hinaaya needed and I gradually felt more and more annoyed.I made funny faces, I bounced and circled her but she was adamant just like her mother. I wondered
21. Flashback"You have no clue Aunty.." I shook my head, slipping into a more lazy position. "He troubles me so much during Ramadan." I complained, staring at Asher through the rear view mirror.He chuckled at my accusation as if I was a child crying about her silly friend." I know beta.." She jabbered, turning back to me, her face showing how much she had to speak on the topic."Which is why I'm so grateful to have you. I'm okay in Ramadan because I know, you are with my dork." She smiled at me sweetly." Ab aisa bhi nahi hai Ammi, mere bilkul nakhre nahi hain?" Asher piped in, stealing a glance at me.It made my heart flutter. His gaze always did. The way he looked at me in the crowd, secretively yet so intensely as if he could see my soul made me feel butterflies." Yeah, ofco
22. Aira"Thank god, we escaped." I laughed burying my face in my palms.Virat smiled at me warmly, his eyes twinkling with his transparency. "You should laugh often, that crying face doesn't suit you."I simpered, staring at him. It hurt diving deep into his eyes, through his hopes, his pride, his joys knowing I could break them all in a second. I had began feeling a real-strange attachment with him. A delicate connection built on lies and half truths yet a connection which my heart had started finding sacred. It was far from love and friendship yet I felt owned by him in a certain way. A way that seemed pure and a way
23. AiraThe air was colder than what I had ever felt with a silence that screamed of our heart-break, our melancholy.I stared at the thin fabric of the grey sweater I was wearing. I had to wear it because Asher wasn't there to make me feel warm all day.I realised I had to start wearing woollens myself because Asher was no longer gonna be there to take care of my antiques.Life was changing rapidly. With every breath of mine, I was losing more of Asher, I was breaking more than before and I was morphing more into nothingness.My hands were filled with bangles, red and white. They symbolised the new beginning I was going to have with Virat from tomorrow but I wondered how it would be without me?I was no more Aira, I was no more myself. I was lost and I had no chase of it.I had no clue if I cou
24. ViratOur breaths were heavy. The day had been more eventful than what I had expected it to be. I stared at her smile. It was different yet it was so similar. It was like the way she smiled when she was genuinely happy. Like the way she used to smile when we were together.I hadn't seen her smile from her heart lately but today she did and it certainly felt good. I had heard her saying she missed me, she had even confessed that she no more felt like before. She could no more be carefree and joyful. She said now her heart always felt incomplete
25. AiraI could explode. I could burst.I wished I could go numb for a day or two; or better faint or best die.There was so much to feel, to contemplate, to understand.I wasn't just shocked to see Esha so close to Virat but I was disgusted somehow.The idea of Virat almost touching her was so ridiculous but what was more revolting was the fact that it enraged me and I felt hurt somewhere.I thought it was okay, Virat doing anything with his life. We were yet to promise each other of love and trust but all my walls shattered in a mili second when I saw the
26. ViratI could feel my nerves wrack, blood boil, heart throb, breath spasmodic.I felt hurt, I felt angry, I felt shocked, I felt conflicted; all in different proportions at different seconds.I didn't love her but I had liked her from the core of my heart that it was inevitable to feel the pain.I was utterly shook when I had noticed those hickeys on her collar bone. They were so fresh that my senses had screwed at the mere sight but my heart, it didn't trust my eyes.Never in my dreams I had thought she could do anything like that to me?But she betrayed me so easily, so finely, so smoothly.Fuck, I had thought she could never even think of harming anybody but she had carved a disaster for me willingly.
Time is the most powerful weapon, it waits for none, it spares none. It just changes; everything you like, everything you do not like.When the night has comeAnd the land is darkAnd the moon is the only light we'll seeNo I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraidJust as long as you stand, stand by meI couldn't help but admire my baby in my lap, twinkling its tiny eyes in sleep, opening its small mouth big to yawn so full. He scrunched his face in desperation to tell me he had enough, with tears ready to spill out of his eyes
Seven Years LaterSydney was not new for me, neither was the accent nor the buildings. It was all familiar yet distant in its own way.But what mattered was that it no more had the power to stir anything within me.I thought coming back to Australia would make me giddy and weird, I thought it would whirl the records of souvenirs I had. But it didn't.I was okay with all of it, I was composed, in fact I was happy.I wasn't someone who would credit time for healing me, I'd rather say I did it myself.Or better.What broke me years back was what mend me at the last. If love broke me then, then love mend me again as well.Life was never smooth and easy after that, sometimes dying seemed better but ultimately it all fell in place.Eventually, he made everything right again.
I cuddled a little more with myself as a cold, fresh gush of wind ran across me.I gazed at the river, rippling and hitting against its bank, quiet and lost.I wasn't upset anymore, the anger had dissolved, the tears had dried up but I was still far from peace and comfort.A part of my heart felt torn and rusted but there was no one I could certainly blame other than my own self.It was sad how he had been behaving lately, so rude and changed and how he had to lie for her and not meet me but her but it all came like a lesson to me.It seemed it was my deeds returning to me, some karma doing it's part, making me go through the sufferings I inflicted upon him, punishing me and washing my sins.I felt so dirty, mean and s
"I hate you too." I scrunched my eyes, immediately regretting the words profusely."Aira?" I quietly whispered, turning around but she had walked a distance and it didn't seem she would look back any soon.I felt like a douchebag, a piece of shit for having behaved so impulsively, for having hurt her for something so trivial and so insignificant.I wanted to stop her and apologise instantly but I could gather no courage to peer into her hurt eyes or to hear her accusing tone or to talk to her at all."Virat?"I threw her hand away from mine."Virat I'm?"
I had no clue what was so wrong and upsetting about the argument that he didn't bother to wake me up and drop a bye before going or simply leave a note saying that we were okay and he loved me.It wasn't for the first time that we were discussing the prospects of shifting back to India, it's wasn't new that we both had conflicting opinions, we were both rather into a conversation that we were habitual about and that was why I couldn't wrap my head around his abrupt demeanour.I wasn't the one who generally took his boiling words seriously but I did feel hurt when he told me that I was all free to leave him.I knew he didn't meant that but somewhere I also knew that it must be a thought in the back of his mind that rolled out with hi
"Hello?" I greeted him and a smiled broke through his tired face."Hey." He groggily replied, giving me a side hug. "Didn't sleep?""Nah." I wrapped the shawl around myself more properly. "Couldn't without you. Was reading.""I don't want my kid to be a nerd." He chuckled lightly as I followed him upstairs into the bedroom."Reading is so much more than what you think of it." I took out clothes for him as he freshened up. "How was the dinner by the way?""Good." He replied briefly, changing his shirt.
I took the support of the wall to stand still, its ice-cold surface giving me goosebumps.I inhaled and exhaled heavily, calming my nerves. My eyes were barely open but still I could spot Virat stand in front of me with a scowl and a confused expression on his face.He was always all comfortable taking care of me at all times during the day but he hated my midnight problems." Are you?" I cut him off, pushing him away and retching one more time into the commode. I heaved, an exasperated grunt escaping my lips.
I still dream that I'd wake up, with you in my arms and all of this being nothing but a nightmare.I still wish it to happen somehow, with any magic or miracle it requires. I swear I'd give my everything to wake up like that. I had no clue where we fell weak Aira. I still couldn't believe that our love wasn't enough for us?How could our families be so cruel and selfish Aira?
I was fully aware that I was lost and numb.I only hoped that the people around weren't talking about anything that involved my participation or at least required it.The only thing that occupied me was how my head spun, how hot my skin was and how I felt giddy and empty in my stomach."It was heck of a money, isn't it Aira?" George burst my bubble, pronouncing my name incorrectly as usual." Yeah." I feigned a chuckle not even bothering to know what deal they were discussing about.It was lunch and I was in my manager's room along with a few other colleagues of mine.I had no clue how I had come here after attending a hectic meeting on all my own because right now I didn't even have the power to listen or speak up