Chapter 03

 Aira

Nobody in the world knew what was more difficult, whether what I was doing or what Asher was doing.

Constantly smiling, obeying my family, helping them out to arrange and carry different events for my wedding wasn't easy at all when his heart was terribly breaking in the process.

But Asher wasn't complaining. He was doing all of that with full dedication, perhaps with the hope that somehow the tables would turn and he'd make us win.

But I knew, it was impossible.

It was ironical how my father and brother bonded so well with Asher and yet they wouldn't choose him as my life partner ever.

No matter how perfect Asher was for me, but his religion shaded it all. A Muslim could never be with a Brahmin.

I often wondered what could really break me in my happening, happy, little living and life gave me its answer fairly soon.

My heart crushed and crumpled every time my eyes met Asher's. They were so full of love for me but I could never give him what he really wanted.

I couldn't give him myself because I belonged more to my family.

When I fell in love with Asher I knew there was no tomorrow we could be together. I knew we were bound to be torn apart.

Yet falling for him wasn't in my control ever. It was the most natural, effortless, the most beautiful experience I ever had or I will ever have.

I never realised how I lost myself into him, how we became one and how I live with my soul being harboured by him.

He owned me in a unique way, which was beyond what I could explain or beyond what anybody in the world could understand.

He was the reason why my eyes shined when I smiled; he was the reason why I cried laughing so much; he was all the reason why I was so happy and satisfied with life yet I was giving up on him so readily.

Readily?

No.

Asher's Aira was dying with each passing second that increased the distance between the two of us, with each moment that paved way for our separation.

Asher's Aira was morphing into nothingness.

" Aira, this is what you wanted right?" Mumma confirmed, snapping me out of my land.

" Will this do?" I asked, observing the ingredients and then looking up at her.

" Yeah." She nodded, plainly.

I could catch her awkwardness from her face. She looked confused and suspicious.

" You don't have flu?" She eventually questioned, unburdening herself.

" Yes, I mean..I think I'd develop one. Precaution." Lying to her was always a feat.

She didn't look content with my answer yet she walked by without interrogating further. She was deliberately giving me space and I was really glad about it.

I walked up to the table to prepare the medicine. I had learnt it from Mumma itself and it always worked for Asher.

He had a sore throat since more than a week and he hadn't done anything about it.

I thumped and walked edgily in the lobby, waiting for Asher to show up somehow.

I felt restless. The day had passed, the lights were off; we had spent almost a day at the same place yet not talked to each other at all.

I wanted to hear him, I wanted to hold his hands, I wanted to rest on his chest.

I had been yearning for him for so long.

I hauled him up into a corner passage as soon as he passed by.

He was shocked at first but he relaxed when his eyes bore into mine.

We peered into each other, exchanging no words until he sneezed.

I took the spoon from the bowl immediately, feeding him the homemade remedy.

His eyes sparked, staring into mine as he ate it silently.

Before I could decipher the gleam, I felt his lips on mine and every fibre of mine came alive.

My hands reflexively crawled up his back, into his hair as I pulled him closer, kissing him more hungrily.

I had been starving the taste of his lips on mine but this time it mingled with that of clove and ginger making it bitter yet sweet.

He sucked on my lower lip before leaving it with a pop.

" Taste bad?" I whispered near his lips and he shook his head before capturing my lips once again.

His hands skilfully massaged my back, as we rested against the wall, our tongues rolling over each other.

I pulled out, breathless.

" I love you." He kissed my forehead and I smiled.

" I love you too."

" I got to leave for airport, they'll be landing in an hour." He told me, creating a bit of distance.

" I'd come along. Let's go."

He gave me a puzzled face but lead me nevertheless.

" Where, where?" Dad's voice from behind stopped us as we approached the main gate.

" Ah." I looked at Asher before replying. " Airport. My friends have come. I am going with him."

" Okay." He answered thoughtfully.

" Car? You can take mine."

" No, I have. Thank you." Asher passed a tight lipped smile.

I looked out of the window, craving to speak volumes to him but just afraid to say the wrong words that would stir our memories offering nothing but pain.

It was hard. Everything was so hard and harsh.

I sighed, turning towards him.

He drove with sincerity, his eyes adhered to the road.

Not much was written on his expressions and I only pondered about what was going inside him.

I slipped my hand into his and he stared at me in amazement for a second.

" I love you."

He gave me a small consoling smile. A smile that hid enormous anguish.

I felt more hurt.

"What if..?" My eyes didn't leave him. And I spoke nevertheless, not considering the repercussions, not worrying about the misery.

" What if when we reach airport, we realise they have landed on Jaipur airport and not Udaipur?"

A bright smile broke through his lips, soothing me like nothing else.

He shook his head, giggling. " I missed you."

He kissed my knuckles. " I missed you, this and everything so much."

I couldn't help but feel so better and healed. I smiled as if all was right again.

" Tell me." I was ready to play around happily, with the ache of every wound fading somewhere.

" I'd love to drive to Jaipur with you by my side, I am ready to go anywhere with you."

I beamed. He had a gentleman charm and aura but he could flirt effortlessly.

" Ah. And what if we end up with no petrol half way?" I peeped below the speedometer. It showed a full tank.

He chuckled. " Then we'd have some quality time at the back seat."

He winked and I blushed profusely. I felt a butterfly in my stomach with the idea being undeniably marvellous.

I loved how this side of Asher was exclusively for me. He barely skimmed girls or flattered them, ofcourse sometimes to tease me.

I felt a sudden pang with the thought of time changing and how Asher would have someone else in his life.

After a few days, he would walk with her hand in his. He would whisper sweet nothings in her ear amidst the crowd. He'd make her heart flutter by stealing glances at her in public. He'd open the door of his car for her. He'd..

" Come on." Asher broke my trance. "We'd have money to get some petrol."

" We wouldn't have money." I gripped his hand more firmly. I didn't care if driving with a single hand was tough.

" I saw this coming. I have cards in my car. We would swap money." He grinned. His features looked fresh and appeased.

" But I'm more inclined towards spending some quality time with you at the back seat. I'd rather prefer this then hunting for a petroleum." He smirked, rubbing his thumb over my skin.

I examined the back seat, biting my lips. Though I didn't want to smile like a fool but yet I couldn't resist it.

" It's spacious, don't worry." He laughed. " I'd make you comfortable."

I rolled my eyes, laughing.

" Midnight, pillow talk, national highway. Sounds nothing less than one of your wild fantasy. Right Jaan?" His brows twerked.

" Drive Asher." I commanded, not being able to bear the mellow torture anymore.

He giggled. " By the way, after Amsterdam episode, I no more travel with no money. Especially with you."

I laughed with a reminiscent heart.

" Those men were Giants and you, my lilliputian." We have had the best of the time.

" Put this lilliputian of yours didn't let them do anything. You were already ready to cry." He scoffed.

"Ah." I chucked my hand in air. " They didn't intend to do anything with me."

He grimaced, not arguing further and I kissed his cheeks.

We stood against the car waiting for the plane to land.

"It's cold." I murmured, holding his left hand once again.

" You should have wore no sleeves then." He remarked sardonically, pulling me closer. " When will you learn to wear sweaters?"

" Never. I don't need it when I have you." I replied sappily, wrapping his arm more around me.

It felt good.

" You won't have me for the rest of the winters of your life." He looked down upon me briefly, before looking far away.

My feelings cracked, giving way to hollowness and numbness.

I didn't leave him though. I didn't care. I only tightened my hold of his fingers.

A killing quietness filled the space, making me unbearably helpless.

I hated the silence that nowadays prevailed between us. It was not comforting but only afflicting.

We had so much to talk, we had so much to do, we had so much to fix and heal in the limited time we had but every time we were only left tongue-tied and downcast.

A tear trickled down my eyes and before I could wipe it, my friends were there infront of me.

Their faces didn't show any joy nor any excitement. They were dull and saddened.

" Hii." I greeted somehow, moving forward for a hug.

Even they were going to be a distant memory soon.

" No." Muskaan stopped me. " How can you do this? You can't leave us, you can't leave Asher." She shrieked.

I was startled. I never told her about us. We never told anybody. Nobody knew about us.

I turned back at Asher, all pale.

" He told us. About what was going on between the two of you since seven years and how it's gonna end." Misha complained. She looked dejected.

" And what you two think?" Arjun intruded. " You think we never knew. Good for you then. We never tried to interfere but we always knew."

I had nothing to say.

" Your decisions are sheer stupidity Aira. You were not the only one in the relationship. You can't decide for Asher, you can't chose for our friendship. We all have a say."

I cried, this time volubly.

Arjun took me into a hug. " Trust me. We can make it better. We'd talk to your family. We'd explain, we'd fight. Please just give us a chance."

I cried at his lame hopes.

Asher pulled me softly, wiping my tears with his thumb. He rubbed my back as I cried incessantly, hiding my face into his chest.

I loved him. I couldn't be without him but I had nothing in my control.

" We can run away right now. We have money. We can take a flight, go back to Sydney and hide. Visa is not at all a problem." Muskaan childishly suggested, making me chuckle at the sarcasm.

I wish if this was so easy.