Beep…..

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My eyes fluttered open, and my ears were assaulted with the incessant beeping of machines. A sharp pain coursed through my head, and I cried out before pulling myself together. I mustered the strength to survey my surroundings. My eyes landed on my mom, sitting by my side with a warm hand on mine.

“Sweetie, you're finally awake!” she said with a mix of relief and happiness in her voice. I lifted my eyes to hers, only to meet a sight that shocked me. My mom, who usually maintained a beautiful appearance, now appeared disheveled, with tracks of tears running down her cheeks. Still, she smiled.

But then I remembered the most important thing and my hand went to my stomach without any further thought. My eyes grew wide as I looked at my mom once again.  

Her expression answered my unspoken questions before she even got the words out. “Don't be sad, Sweetie. You can try again.”

“My baby?” I whispered, still touching my belly, wishing I could feel some sign of another life. None existed. Still, I couldn’t seem to bring myself to believe it. “I lost my baby?” I repeated the words in a painful echo. A second later, the unbearable pain of loss unlike any other hit me. My tears flowed freely and quickly. Despite the physical pain that wracked my body, it was the loss of that tiny life, a life that had only just begun, that pierced me most, leaving an indelible mark on my shattered heart.

My mom crumbled and cried with me. Witnessing her, my pillar of strength, reduced to wracking sobs, made me close my eyes painfully in sorrow and shame.

Amidst the overwhelming pain in my heart, harsh full-body pain suddenly plagued me. I felt hot inside, as if every fiber of my being was being consumed by flames. The torment left me shaking vigorously and gasping for air. But I couldn't breathe. Then a violent cough wracked my body, and blood spilled from my mouth, staining the white hospital sheets.

An overwhelming sense of impending death came over me.

My mother’s face went pale before she raced out of the room, yelling, “Doctor!”

The world around me dimmed. No! I couldn’t die like this.

The room darkened, and everything around me faded to black.

**********

As I came to, I slowly opened my eyes and turned my head. My mother and my best friend, Lisa, were by my bedside.

“She’s back!” said my mom, clutching Lisa’s arm. “She’s back! Hurry. Go tell the doctor!”

Lisa acknowledged her, then raced out of the room.

“Back?” I asked, groggily.

A nurse rushed into the room and to my side. “Ms. Kings, good to have you with us again. How are you feeling? Can you look at me?”

I slowly turned my head in her direction, only to see a doctor’s blurry form enter the room behind her. They spent a while checking my vitals, asking me a bunch of questions, then having me do things like raise my hands and point to my nose. I asked them questions, too. With their answers, I learned I had been in a coma.

As their examination progress, I became less groggy and more alert. Eventually, they gave me the green light to sit up and spend some time with Mom and Lisa, both of whom were thrilled to have me back. Apparently, I’d given them quite a scare. But then, in the midst of our conversation, my mother said the oddest thing. “I’m surprised you haven’t asked about Colin. But that’s probably for the best. He still hasn’t come to see you, the heartless bastard.”

“Colin?” I repeated. “Who’s Colin?”