Chapter 4

( Before 2 months, on their wedding night)

Koushalya's POV

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"Errrr............hmm......." I cleared my throat to gain Sanjiv's attention as his eyes were closed as he was sitting on the bed leaning on the headrest of the bed, his both hands were warped with each other till his chest. He must be tired from all the chores in the morning.

Right now, I'm standing in my room holding the milk glass for him. 

It's our first night. 

As I thought, he opened his eyes and looked at me from head to toe......and that made me feel shy for some unknown reason.

" You came....sorry I just felt a little bit tired don't know when sleep overtook me," he said in an apologetic tone and sat straight on the bed. 

" It's ok....." I told him to place the milk glass on the table. I sat on the bed leaving a long space between us. 

Although Amma told me to touch his feet to take blessings from him, I'm not going to do that. I don't think there's any need for it. He's also human-like me, besides we both are equal in this relationship. All we need is understanding, loyalty, and Little love from each other, and I think slowly everything will work between us. 

" You have to drink half of the milk......" I said as he looked at me, it wasn't what I wanted to say, I just blurred whatever came into my mind. I wanted to excuse myself and change into something comfortable. This jewelleries and heavy-worked saree make me suffocate.

" Hmm.........." He just hummed in response. 

" ahm....... you can change into something comfortable if you're not feeling comfortable," he said making me relive, this is what I wanted. 

" ...aaa...... I'll be back in a while" saying this I gave him a nervous smile and went to change. I could feel his gaze behind me, but I didn't dare to look back at him. 

Taking my nightwear from my suitcase, I changed into it in the washroom, and I washed my face along with the makeup. Wiping my face with a towel, I freed my hair from that jasmine. I had to almost fight with the bunch of hairpins. After that, I put my hair in a loose bun. 

After removing all the jewelry except thali, I checked myself for the last time in the mirror before going out.

As I came out, Sanjiv's eyes snapped at me from his phone. Slowly taking baby steps I walked to him and stood there without knowing what to do next.

" Why are you standing there? Come sit here " he said, and I did as he said.

We both didn't speak anything for a moment, I was playing with the ham on my t-shirt. There was an awkward silence between us. And I'm hell nervous. I want to talk but I don't know what is stopping me. It feels like my systems aren't cooperating with my brain functions. First of all, I need to calm down, otherwise, I'll blurt something out of nervousness.

I was in my world of thoughts when I felt his presence near me. I looked up at him, Sanjiv was so close to me and I didn't expect this. 

Before he could do and say anything, " I'm feeling sleepy, shall we sleep? Please? '' I said with begging eyes. I know I should talk to him about so many things, but right now I'm not ready for that. These wedding night vibes aren't doing anything good to my mood. It would be better if I talk to him by tomorrow. 

He looked a little disappointed, seeing his eyes I can understand. He must've been waiting for me to talk about something. But what can I do when my thoughts aren't clear? 

" Hmmm.....you can sleep, I'll be back after getting fresh up," he said and left.

Using this chance I sighed in relief. I switched off the lights and lay down on the bed. I left enough space for him to sleep in comfort. 

Covering myself with a duvet, I curled into a ball, I don't know why I'm so confused. This is the first time I'm behaving like this, why am I even scared of talking to him? I mean it's not like he will eat me alive then why I'm feeling these all weird things? ......maybe it's a part of first-night vibes. 

After a few minutes I heard door sounds, it must be Sanjiv. Closing my eyes, I pretend like I'm sleeping. 

I can hear his heavy breaths nearing me in each passing second. Abruptly I felt the bed dip beside me, he must have laid down. 

He will fall asleep in a few minutes with these thoughts. I was about to fall into a deep sleep when I felt his touch on my skin. His hand was resting on my waist.

Wait how and When did he get inside my duvet? 

But what he did next was beyond my imagination. 

He closed the distance between us by hugging me from behind, before I could say anything he buried his face into my neck and started to place kisses on my neckline. 

God! Why do I have to be stuck in such a situation? 

I have to stop him, before he goes further, taking my courage I said "Sanjiv.... I'm not ready for this......try to understand " as soon as he heard me, he stopped whatever he was doing and sat up straight. 

I too sat up adjusting my t-shirt, he was silent for a moment. It seemed like he was having a conversation with himself. 

" sorry........I thought you were ok with it........I'm sorry.......take your own time I won't disturb you" he spoke with an apologetic tone.

Oh......so he misunderstood my silence as an agreement for whatever he did. I don't know what to say. I just nod my head and lay down.

He too slept facing the other side of the bed. I should have talked to him before, but my hesitation made him confused. 

But he also should have asked me rather than jumping on me like that, he scared me. Don't know how I'm going to adjust myself with him. 

Let's hope for the best. 

Thinking about all the past events of our awkward moment, I smiled and kissed him in the photo frame which I was holding in my hand till now.

Sometimes he behaves so weirdly that it's hard to understand him, yet I like him for his unique personality. 

Placing the frame in its previous place, I want to look after kitchen work.